Fear of being single

I have random thoughts and inspirational moments which I just want to share with yall. Laugh or just chuckle at my absurd mind.

Put yourself in the shoes of a single person if you are already happily attached or married.

10 Fears of being single forever......

1. You can only apply for a HDB flat for yourself until you are over 30 to get that subsidy, or you can choose to fork out a ridiculous amount of money for a 120 square metre pigeon hole which you can afford a mansion in Australia.

2. Your every visit to ROM (Registrar of Marriages) always includes yourself helping the newly wed couple to do photography or to film the entire event.

3. By the time you reach the ripe age of 60, your 2 best friends are your pussy cat and your SCV remote control.

4. Every time you walk along Orchard road, you fear that one day that the glares and stares of couples who are so ostracizing you while you are happily holding hands might one day become piercing laser beams that will puncture your heart and lungs.

5. Whenever Chinese New Year approaches, you will always face the great wall of Aunties asking you where your girlfriend is by pinching your cheeks and ears before they decide to give you a red packet that reduces in amount annually because of your singlehood.

6. You fear that your mother will give up hope on you for a grandson and adopt some kid from a 3rd world country so as to have the feeling of a "baby cradling in her arms".

7. Your mailbox will always be flooded of penis enlargement emails and single matchmaking events.

8. Your hard-earned money that goes to the Government's coffers through taxes is used to fund other people's happiness of having more babies to spite your single hood.

9. Every kid in the neighbourhood calls you uncle/auntie and you have no kids of your own to taunt their parents back of their "age" the connotation of "uncle/auntie" means.

10a. If you are a guy, you fear that your penis will lose its functional purpose and will never ever produce healthy sperm ever again.

10b. If you are a woman, you fear that the body part of yours that never ever sees daylight will only have the experience of coming into contact of a sanitary pad and cold, hard air. (pun intended)

Cheers,
Benjamin