Anticipation & Anxiety

In about 8 hours, I will be at work.

The word "work" has not been in my dictionary for the past 3 years or so.

I've work as a part time sales assistant and data entry but 8 hours later is where I face what I have been studying for the past 30 months or so.

The advertising industry has its reputation. Most of it bad like it being a backstabbing field where people use you to climb up the corporate ladder or it being a very sleazy field.

In addition, if the compnay faces a budget defecit, they will just cut off advertising funds to save costs before looking into any "real" problems.

Hence, the anticipation. Not that I expect the industry to be like what I mentioned above because I that is might be only the bad side. Note: Office politics exist anywhere from boardrooms to toilet cleaners coffee breaks.

I'm anticipating so much more of where the managing, the multi-tasking, the pulling of people's hair, the taste of executive's sacarsm and the never-ending long hours. Yes, I have a high threshold for pain and I'm a sado-masochist.

And then there is the anxiety. The "What ifs" like what if I get to do all the shit work like photcopying my gluteus maximus or poisoning another's colleague. Then, there is also the "What ifs" I screw up or I plain don't know what terminology is being thrown around and I'm expected to know them.

I'm anxious to know what is installed for me and I'm just anxious to get started. If i'm relegated to shredding paper documents, so be it. I'll just read the documents and gain some insider knowledge. "evil"

I foresee the next 3 months as a roller coaster ride. I will have much fear and fun while being an advertising intern. I don't know where I'm heading, I don't know where it is going to curve suddenly or make a sudden drop. I don't know where I need to accelerate or take a breather.

It is a roller coaster ride, and I'm just going enjoy the ride wherever it takes me.

- Benjamin