Babies and cloning

Babies.

You expect me to get cuddly face or coochie coochie with them.

I'm not a baby person and don't expect me to apologise.

Their small fragile heads and bite size fingers, I'm really afraid I might drop them and be sentenced to jail or the grossness of them just squeezing through a hole the size of 50 cents barely a few weeks back scare me.

I love babies on the contrary, when they are like 12 years older.

That's my take on the baby issue. Now to grow up and stop whining like a baby.

The Singapore government's recent focus on the decline of our population has ablazed our newspaper.

The blame of Singaporean's men sperm not being able to swim fast or that the eggs of Singaporean women are getting the avian flu, I don't wish to pursue that.

Instead, I would like to discuss more about what governement "intervention" is going to do to "interject" whatever "support" to "boost" the "cock" population. All puns intended.

Their policy is, The more "work" you do, the more "bonuses" you will get.

This policy ironically reflects two of governement doing both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

If you work hard and are successful in clinching more profits for your compnay, you get paid more bonuses. If you exert harder and are willing to split your spouse in two during intercourse and make them suffer 9 months, you will get a bonuse too =)

$400 million from our coffers will contribute to compensate the fertility of us Singaporean men. Why don't they just use that amount of money and do research and development which we all are looking forward too and clone men.

Won't that make life easier? A win-win situation if you tell me. No more suffering for the women and the men need not keep up "providing" every night admist the whinings of the mother-in-laws for offspring.

We also can shut up most of the employers since they are so unwilling to grant maternity leave to the papa and the mama. With cloning, we just break ethical issues of all the religions of the world but look on the bright side, we are on the forefront of the biomedical industry. Isn't that what Singapore is striving for?

Babies or clones, whatever they may be, there is still a need for natural sex before all of us human beings will die from the lust that accumulates and eventually die of fits.

I do wish to note, if the women of the world aren't that picky, choose a man wish you can shag and is good to look at in the morning when you wake up(you don't want to wake up from a nightmare to face another one immediately , do you?).

Marriage is an important decision. Having babies and creating life is even more blissful. So ladies out there, stop being choosy, we need you to do your national service !

- Benjamin

P.S. I anticipate a pig head outside my doorstep anytime soon. I live along Sexist street, Block 69 #06-09. If you want to send me an anthrax letter, my postal code is FCUKER.