Shy Squirms

I'm naturally a shy person.

Understatment of the year perhaps.

People who know me know that I'm a crazy, lame joker that loves to fool around and have a good laugh. You could say i'm a group morale booster (don't vomit).

But I have to admit, I'm really shy (floor flooded with vomit).

I'm very shy, when I'm in the prescene of someone I like or talking to.

I try to put up a face when I'm in the group like I'm a hermit out to get drunk and just make a dumb fool of myself but deep inside, I'm really shy when I'm near her !

Yes, when I am talking face to face or one to one with the person in a phone conversation or a private meet-up, I just get squirmy.

Yes, for those who don't know what is squirmy, it is the action of touching a caterpillar and in self defence, it rolls up in a ball.

I get his squirmy feeling everytime I talk to her. Maybe I'm not comfortable with her yet but the thing is, I'm not sure how she feels about me, that's why.

I'm very conscious of what she thinks of me. That's why I get squirmy.

When it comes to matters of the heart, when I confess or say some lovey dovey smoochy gooey stuff, I simply squirm.

My face blushes and my ears becomes hot like red pepper, my eyes will be looking at some direction of embarrasement and my hands just turn a bit sweaty that I rub them together to ease the tension of this squirminess.

Women have a love/hate relationships with squirmy people.

When they see a man squirm, it goes to show that the men is indecisive and just very nervous around her. On the other hand, it can be interpreted as that the man is very cautious of his actions as he is concerned of what actions he do might affect the opinion of him to her. I'm the latter.

The perennial advice by girls is "Just be yourself".

Well honeys, it ain't that easy.

It's like being on American Idol, you getting judged by Simon Cowell, only this time, there is no American audience to vote, no auditorium audience to please and no Randy Jackson to say "you're the man".

There is only one person looking and all you are concerned is how to perform well for her, to impress her and to just hope that she has some good words to say to you at the end of your performance (your mating ritual).

It is just a strange thing but some men has problems getting in touch with their emotions. They are aloof when it comes down to expressing love and they think a TV remote control with a big bow is sufficient to celebrate an anniversary.

I think a large majority of men squirm when they like somebody but they simply do not know whether the girl shares the same affection.

Maybe it's just me. I'm just shy but I really am conscious how I look in her eyes.

And I guess I will never know until I get that assurance. Maybe then, will I not squirm anymore.

- Benjamin

10 things I want in a lover

The host of the mdd8 competition gave us assignments of what you want in a long term lover. Listing down all your preferences and write all the brutally honest stuff I would like to see as my rocking chair partner.

Okay, firsts up.

1. No religion affiliation

I would prefer that my "lover" has no religion. Whoa, i'm not anti-christ or what but I'm just more pro-freedom. I just prefer someone who has little restrictions and inhibitions on what some scripture or book that dictates them what to do and what not to do.

I respect people who have faith in their religion, I have no qualms about it but with no religion tying you down to some beliefts, I believe me and my "lover" would be a much more happier relationship.

2. Sense of freedom

I would also like my "lover" to have a sense of space. What i mean by it is they have their own freedom too. Something like you have your own circle of friends that I respect and vica versa and we don't ask too much questions unless both of us agree to analyze certain situation. The word is "space", not "know everything about you until it becomes too forceful". As time passes, you will eventually know someone better indefinitely.

3. Independent (Spunky)

I would like my "lover" to be independent. Someone who is career-minded, has ambitions and stand up for her own beliefs. That will lead to some friction and quarrels between me and it does not matter if sparks and quarrels happened, it goes to show that we are two different personalties who sees things differently.

4. Intelligent

I would also appreciate if my "lover" was of some intellect, where we are able to discuss something intellectually like why the world is not flat and why the government charges us so high for COE, discuss serious matter in a fun manner. Some intelligence won't hurt, but bimboness would be the ultimate nail in my coffin if I would end up marrying one unknowingly.

5. Average and above looking looks

It would also be wonderful if my "lover" looks reasonably pleasant. I'm attracted to beautiful things, no doubt about it, most Virgos just like to appreciate the finer side of aesthethics. No point of me trying to deny or trying to whitewash the truth, I just want someone average looking and a sense of their own style. Period. Then again, a beautiful personality is much more better than beautiful looks. Which will fade off faster anyway ....

6. Glutton

I love food. No doubt about it. And I hope that the person that I end up dying with is because of our gluttony for chocolate desserts, Ferrer Roche and hot fudge sex. I just love to eat various type of delicacies and my wallet has to keep up, not my bowels and if someone who can cook and boil a cauldron of hot fudge chocolate to spread over my body would definently score brownie points. = P

7. Loves to travel

From young, I have this spirit of adventure, to travel around the world to all the majestic places written by Jules Verne "Around the World in 80 Days". I was greatly inspired with it and I'm still enamoured with what the world has out there. I'm not really a nature person so you won't find me climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or swimming the Ganges river.

However, I'm interested to do all these things before I die: Travel to Amsterdam (City of Sex), Dublin (City of Leprechauns and Green Tights), New York (City of Carrie Bradshaw, advertising and shopping), all cities of France (City of Love and fries), Guatamela (City of culture), Hawaii (Island of white beaches), rural areas of Japan (Land of Culture shock) and Athens (City of mythology). Many many more I have yet to name. Might do one section about my fantasy travels.

I know long list, and if my lover loves to travel, u're on the top of my list !

8. Loves to shop

I won't lie. I love to shop. Call me a shopaholic. Give me a credit card.

I just want to shop till my boxers drop. I go crazy whenever there is a SALE going on and if the gal loves to shop and maxed out her credit card (I don't believe in paying 24% interest), I'll cut her card. Shopping is wonderful if you have money, just don't overspend it and end up in debt.

9. Organized

I love someone who is organized and well-coordinated. I'm not really an overtly spontaneous person as I like to know, "What's next?" and I love to plan with my filofax. I would make a great Personal Assitant even though I think I can do so much more. 2 thumbs up if you colour code your wardrobe. I don't colour code mine but I section code mine as in sections for long-sleeve shirts, short-sleeve shirts, which is segmented to collar tees, v-necks ....

Call me weird but don't you find it easier when everything is sorted?

10. Affectionate

Last of all, I wish that my "lover" is affectionate. Maybe I'm in need of Tender Loving Care but I would appreciate it if once in a while, my "lover" just say it out how much she adores my bucktooth or just shower compliments over me. I know, but it's nice, dontcha think when someone gives you assurance to justify your prescene in the world.

To sum it all up, this is just a wishlist. Is it too much to ask? Of course! You can't expect to mould someone you love to someone you would ENJOY.

It's all about chemistry, it's all about the passion. As much as the above characteristics are what I would look for, it does not represent that I need all these in a "lover".

Whatever the 10 above things are, I still need one thing.

I need a lover first.

- Benjamin

P.S. My self perception of myself is that i am all the above, except No.5.

Disclosure

When you like somebody, you can only hope they share the same feelings for you.

You see.

I like somebody. (hears gasp from your side of the computer)

They are not contestants of this competition. (hears chey! from your side of the computer)

But I got to know "her" from this competition. (sees some arched brows from your side of the computer)

For those inquisitive people who want to dig and uncover the truth. Well, there are only a handful who knows.

The person is a blog reader/fanatic/friend/colleague/neighbour/toilet auntie/coffeeshop workers.

It'll take a while for your private detective to find out who she is.

It is a matter of time when I'll reveal and when it's time, you people will know what have been troubling me for the past few days.

You see, this "gal" likes this "jerk". Tremendously.

Apparently, she has a penchant for guys that inflict emotional pain on her. She is simply magnetised by steel rods that whacks her straight on the face. It's just painful for me to just watch.

I wish I could give her comfort, show her warmth and shower her with what a nice guy I can be.

Readers, don't puke.

Even though I don't have the experience of being a boyfriend, I should be pretty decent enough. For her that is.

Maybe she'll stumble upon this article, maybe she'll see this as a public confession meant for her.

But one thing's for sure, she deserves better. Even if she doesn't like me, I just hope that she would just simply stop placing herself in compromising relationships that will only end up hurting her.

- Benjamin

Moanings

If you people have been reading the mydreamd8 site, you probably have stumbled into some people getting into controversies, some people making controversies and people avoiding controversies.

Then, there are also people who are in love, out of love, moan because they are in love and also moan because they are out of love.

Just some quick moany updates of my life for the new blog readers.

Studies: Finshing it up soon, left my portfolio that is 90% to be handed up to my lecturers. So, I'm pretty contended in this area.

Family: Been supportive of me, both financially and emotionally. Except my toopid brother whom refuses to answer me if I should bring a gal to his wedding coz it is a waste of money (grr...)

Love: This is where I would like to just moan.

It has just been a downward spiral in the past week of what happened. Yes, I've liked some people and Yes, I've fallen out with some people (stop trying to guess) and Yes, I'm just confused should I ever need to be in love.

Liking someone is heartaching. You wonder if that person shares the same feelings for you and if that person has no romantic notions about you. That sucks.

Finding love is even more painful. You might love someone dearly and that person doesn't love you back. That stings.

And so, I wonder.

Why do I need to go through all that pain and suffering? Just give me the mirror and my trusty hand.

It's difficult to ever find "the one" and when you finally do, you look back at how many hearts you have broken and how many broken hearts have you experienced.

In a way, through relationships that have been torn and broken, you learn lessons new like what you want out of a lover or you even lower expectations or you become more understanding how much you can truly commit yourself to a romance that might eventually lead you down the carpet or the stairway to heartaching pain.

Is it that worth it to eventually find someone to settle down? To love and to honour? To love and to respect? To use up the government baby bonuses?

I question myself sometimes whether I see myself as someone who will eventually be attached/married and have kids. I question the intentions and I question the thought.

Is life all about finding your true one?

Questions questions,
Bemoaned Benjamin

Busy as a tiger

Heya peeps reading my blog, I've been busy doing up my portfolio for school submission and my work has taken a change for the better (starting to get more involved) and hence will write only tommorrow on Saturday ! Until then, bear with me for the moment.

Will be updated of course.

By the way, I've survived 3 elimination rounds, and tommorrow and Sunday, I'll be at Singtel Hello! shop at 3-4 pm at the road show. I'll be doing a strip pole dance and will be taming a white tiger to jump over hoop.

You think i'm kidding, and yes, I am.

But to see me jump on stage like a 5-year old and me waiting to pounce on the host if she embarrasses me is a sight worth watching. So, come down and catch me to see me in "ferocious" action.

Until then, back to work for me.

Cheers,
Ravenous Benjamin

The Butterfly Effect

I watched the movie after loads of procrastination.

Life was much easier when your time was flexible and the job isn't what you call "exciting".

So, I went with Posh, Shaun and Sel to Marina yesterday, to compare it with the show "Timeline" which I watched a week back, both time travel movies that I enjoy watching and warping my brain.

For those that didn't watch, too bad that you have stumbled into a spoiler or whatever you guys call it, but you suckers that didn't watch it and so happen to read it here, don't blame me because I didn't put a disclaimer. Go watch it now. Or stop reading below. Just skip the words and scroll to see naked, corny pictures of me below.

The Butterfly Effect tells about how Ashton Kucher has this rare brain-memory-clog-complex and he had an awful childhood. Blah blah blah, I can't tell stories very well but it is all about him trying to reverse time to change something.

The plot was captivating, amazing and simply fantastic. As I saw how all the characters evolved differently from warped situations to another, it was just totally unbelivable.

A drastic action that you make in life will lead onto many other consequences. An attempt to reverse it will only result to other worse consequences.

This goes to tells us that mother nature is a force not to be reckoned with. Time travel should just be kept as something unattainable like producing Love potion no. 9 or finding Drew Carey a lover.

I seriously think most of the top nations have tinkled with time travel by using their tax payers money to invest and research on how to go back in time.

That is why I think our Singaporean government is having research facilities of time travel manipulation at guess where?

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Pedra Branca.

Now, before you people call me siao (which you are already since you all are taking time to read my blog), think about this.

The only evidence that we have seen of Pedra Branca is some pictures of rocks shown on the Straits Times.

What makes you think that these were not the rocks of Sentosa taken in the early 1980s where the boatsmen called our harbour as some dragon's teeth. They blew it up to use it as reclaimed rocks to put at Pulau Ubin.

It's a government conspiracy, I tell you.

I believe that we are made to believe Pedra Branca is some couple of rocks but some kaypo fishermen found out about it and told the Malaysian government that got something "fishy" there.

That's why 3 robbers tried to infiltrate Singapore through the south of Johor to do some espionage but failed to since they mistaken Tekong as Pedra Branca.

You can see why both countries are fighting so hard for the technology that is developed there. This is because we Singaporeans spend so much time in school everyday and our brain mass so pow-derful that we are on the verge of a scientific breakthrough to imitate Jules Verne's fantasy novels.

With the ability to change time, Raffles won't be so stupid to name us as Lion City since I can go over and tell him he "pa jiao" (cock-eye) ah.

One thing that I would suggest if the above forementioned was true. Then, I shall go back in time when the British was here, to ask them to go build their cannons at Sembawang, Kranji and Woodlands. Singapore so malu, build cannons and guns at Sentosa and only to end up shooting our mainland. So toopid. So xia suay.

Okay, enough stupid thoughts of me.

After the end of that fantastic, mind-boggling and thought-provoking movie (yes, I know, I'm raving about it too much), we took some pictures along CityLink mall.

Since my blog is full of senseless ramblings, it is time to show you peeps more sensless photos of me , of how wacky I am after the movie. And yes, I lied above. There are no naked images of me.

An allergic reaction to being kissed




Snorting Fart Faces




A rare view of a peacock mating session




Don't make up stories. We are just friends. I think. = P




We were thinking who wants to hang their undies next

I think the show made me wacky enough to write stuff like above. I'm thinking of joining a scriptwriting competition by Theatreworks. Should I ? hahaha

- Benjamin

Being a Singaporean

1. Drinking distilled urine with a pinch of chlorine is legal.

2. Our national icon, the Merlion, isn't real.

3. Other nationalities mock us as people that we live in pigeon holes.

4. Taxi drivers is the #3 killer of Singaporeans next to heart attacks and cancer.

5. Queuing up is an official sport.

6. A sale is not about buying cheap stuff, it is a matter of getting in through the door first, snatch the item and place it in your bag and decide later whether you want to buy it.

7. Singaporeans are brainless as we need government campaigns to remind us how to flush the toilet and when to have babies.

8. Foreigners assume that Singapore is part of Greater China or somewhere in the Gobi desert.

9. Singaporeans pay for a piece of paper, a Certificate of Entitlement, that costs as much as the car.

10. We spent 400 million dollars to build a glass durian as a national wonder.

All the above was written by me and was done in jest, exploring the light side of what Singaporean life has to offer.

- Benjamin

Giorno

Met John aka Giorno for lunch, he is one of the contestants for mydreamd8 competition.

Chatted a lot and the most outstanding topic of the day was him.

That was because among the oceans of crowds of office people in strait jackets and ropes around their noose, there he was in his spiffy Army uniform.

You could say he was a needle walking among the hay stackers as we walked along the Singapore River at Boat Quay near Killiney road for a sumptuous lunch of herbal chicken.

Let me tell you all a secret, this place with orange tables has the best value for your lunch!

First, you have half a herbal chicken which is broiled is fantastic with its soup followed by a choice of decent drinks that changes everyday and a dessert to stuff it all down. You eat all that by the comfort and view of the longest river in Singapore (S'pore has only 1).

The best thing is probably when you make your payment at the counter. It's only 5 frikking dollars for that set lunch.

My tummy is bulging. I need to stop binging on lunch, snacks, tea, after tea and pre-dinner.

I need a girlfriend who will snatch away on my food and eat to her heart and waistline desire.

Anyone?

A despo in need of weight loss,
Benjamin

Interviewing Me

I shall be lame.

All about Me.

Yes, this is a self-egocentric piece of myself but I love to be deluded. Indulge me.

Q: "What's the best part of your job?"
A: "The best part of my job is when I can sort and cut out newspaper articles from India because I can sniff and fantasize that I'm in India and yes, the ink emits out a dreadful smell, from the Ganges river. I wish to bathe in there one day."

Q: "You are aware that the Ganges river is polluted right?"
A: "Of course, I'm not dumb you know. C'mon. Cows and buffalos shit in there and you all know how shit will turn to fertiliser and then make your skin all smooth and milky."

Q: "Um, Do you have a favourite gadget?"
A: "Yeah, I wish I can have the iPod or some women tying me to the bed with pink furry handcuffs. It's a tough choice between these two."

Q: "What's the weirdest thing we'll find in your closet?"
A: "Unwashed underwear, dead cockroaches and my mom."

Q: "How would you title your own movie?"
A: "Swimming down the Ganges"

Q: "Describe your typical casual dress code."
A: "Excuse me, I don't cross dress."

Q: "What's the last thing to cross you mind before bed?"
A: "Not to wet my pants after bed."

Q: "What type of women are you looking for?"
A: "Preferably someone that has a sense of humour. With no penis."

Q: "Choose one. Beauty, Intellect or Personality."
A: "Typical answers would be to choose intellect or personality because people will say beauty will fade away in a decade or so. But I prefer Beauty, as in me being a hunk, because I will then attract someone who is Intelligent and then she will be my sugar mommy and then I marry her aka male version of Anna Nicole Smith and then divorce her and get half of her estates with monthly pensions and alimony for the amount of hurt she caused me."

Q: "How many children do you wish to have?"
A: "It depends. My monthly contribution to the local sperm bank is getting lots of attention from the media because of some population issues. I think I have 94 of them in KK hospital thus far."

Q: "What do you aspire to be?"
A: "A reality show producer or a char kway teow seller. Both of them drive a Lexus to work."

Q: "What is your strategy coming into this game?"
A: "I wanted to make more friends, increase my social networks and I would be lying if I did not have hope of wanting to find romance here. But that is ultimately not the goal because you cannot force affairs of the heart to just happen when as you want it to happen. Let me reiterate. "Blog the best, expect the worst". If I get eliminated, cest la vie. I just want to really go as far as possible. I would be lying if I said the $5,000 didn't help my life like buying 5 annual subscriptions of India's newspapers and an iPod packaged with some nice furry toys."

Q: "What is the most important virtue of this game?"
A: "I guess that would have to be honesty. Reason being, you need to trust people no matter what to say and I have played it honestly full out. No lying. I just keep my mouth shut. No drama, even though it is like a bad Channel 8 script out here. Maybe Singtel can sell our true life confessionals to Channel 8 to make it a drama serial. I'm sure it is juicy enough to last longer than the 100 over episodes of Holland Village."

Q: "Have you asked any of your friends to vote for you?"
A: "Yes, I have been shamelessly asking my friends to waste their miserly 20 cents on me just to make me survive. I think I have no more friends after this competition because I deprived them of visiting public toilets twice and hence, they are unhappy. I have run out of options. I might need to do sexual favours to survive. (Slaps myself with a trout). I need a sugar mummy. Haha. Wait, if sugar mummy gives me US$5,000, why do I even need to blog here? LoL"

Q: "What are some words you would like to say to you blog readers and supporters?"
A: (From the bottom of my heart) "I wish to thank everyone who have approached me and supported me be it through chat logs or mIRC chat sessions. I'm genuinely pleased that you all loved reading my crapola that I chit out everyday because it fertilises your daily mundane life. If you happen to bump me along the street, feel free to slap me on the butt. I promise not to sue you. I’'ll give you a pink handcuff ya know. I'll be handing out leaflets of application forms of sugar mommy wannabes."

Q: "What 4 words will you engrave on your tombstone, as a parting message?"
A: "Six Feet Under. Duh."

- end of interview -

(The whole room stank of Benjamin's body odour which is worse than the combined smell of the Ganges, stacks of old newspapers and decomposing Channel 8 drama scripts.)

Your existence

"What is the meaning of Life?"

People question themselves out of the blue now and then and ask whether life is worth living for and whether they have live life to the fullest?

What really justifies your life then? Is it about making full use of your lifetime to fulfil some goals of yours or is it just to take a step at a time, making sure you don't trip on that pebble.

Life is fragile. That is because our soul can just leave us anytime when we immerse ourselves into Dreamland and never return to our mortal soul.

Easy come and easy go. they say, life flutters around the birth and death of a human being.

There are so many views to life that I don't even know where to begin. Some people might feel that why even bother thinking of what's left and enjoy what you have and some people search fruitlessly to the ends of the mountains of Himalayas to only find end up at some monastery to be a monk to seek solace in ultimate nirvana.

In all seriousness, the majority of us have so much stuff on our mind that we don't even have time to really reflect, much less care why we are on this planet.

I think that we all justify our existence through our career, family and the status that we are in. Success on the corporate ladder will feed your ego while a happy family will fulfil your emotional needs.

Whatever it is, life is all about justification.

We rationalize and validate ourselves by comparing ourselves with the rest of the world. We try to reach the benchmark of supporting a family, having babies and doing whatever that pleases us. We defined ourselves through others and it builds up what you call today, social norms.

Whatever the motivation your life is all about, our human instincts wants us to succeed or just sit back, slack and enjoy what the world has to offer for us.

But one thing is for sure, and to quote Andi (a supporter of mine who has a blog too!).

"we are reliant on each other to find meanings in our existence"

I totally agree.

Your guru,
Benjamin

Glee of being single

There is always the flip side of the coin. There are troubles of being single and there are also troubles of being attached.

There is always the bright side of leading the singleton life. Let's peek into it.

10 Glees of being single forever ....

1. Love does not happen in the bedroom, it extends to the mirror and you know you will never need to share it.

2. You will never have banking telemarketers calling you up to ask you to set up a joint-account.

3. You can indulge in chocolate without ever being guilty and there is never a need to split it in 2.

4. You can please yourself anytime, anyway and you can look at any man/woman out there without ever feeling accountable to anyone.

5. The holiday term of "free and easy" describes your vacation plans exactly, without anyone dragging you out of bed or enthusiastically taking photos, you are in control of your own time at your own pace.

6. You will have the exclusive pleasure of being a listening ear to all your married friends problems about their family and quietly laugh at their misery at the back of your mind.

7. You never ever need to share you King-sized mattress with anyone. Or even being banished to a living room because you forgot an anniversary.

8. The thing about being single is you are still available in the market and you can go out and pick at the buffet of guys/gals until you find the right flavour although the biological clock is against you.

9. You never ever need to wake up in the wee hours to pacify your baby to bed and never need to attend to noisy neighbours who are grumbling about your wailing child.

10a. If you are a gal, you never need to know how something so big can be removed from something so small. (for those dirty-minded, i'm referring to pregnancy).

10b. If you are a guy, you never need to know how painful it feels when you wife tells you that they fake their orgasm everytime you do it. (for those dirty-minded, yes, i'm referring to sexual intercourse). Ouch.

Cheerio,
Benjamin

Fear of being single

I have random thoughts and inspirational moments which I just want to share with yall. Laugh or just chuckle at my absurd mind.

Put yourself in the shoes of a single person if you are already happily attached or married.

10 Fears of being single forever......

1. You can only apply for a HDB flat for yourself until you are over 30 to get that subsidy, or you can choose to fork out a ridiculous amount of money for a 120 square metre pigeon hole which you can afford a mansion in Australia.

2. Your every visit to ROM (Registrar of Marriages) always includes yourself helping the newly wed couple to do photography or to film the entire event.

3. By the time you reach the ripe age of 60, your 2 best friends are your pussy cat and your SCV remote control.

4. Every time you walk along Orchard road, you fear that one day that the glares and stares of couples who are so ostracizing you while you are happily holding hands might one day become piercing laser beams that will puncture your heart and lungs.

5. Whenever Chinese New Year approaches, you will always face the great wall of Aunties asking you where your girlfriend is by pinching your cheeks and ears before they decide to give you a red packet that reduces in amount annually because of your singlehood.

6. You fear that your mother will give up hope on you for a grandson and adopt some kid from a 3rd world country so as to have the feeling of a "baby cradling in her arms".

7. Your mailbox will always be flooded of penis enlargement emails and single matchmaking events.

8. Your hard-earned money that goes to the Government's coffers through taxes is used to fund other people's happiness of having more babies to spite your single hood.

9. Every kid in the neighbourhood calls you uncle/auntie and you have no kids of your own to taunt their parents back of their "age" the connotation of "uncle/auntie" means.

10a. If you are a guy, you fear that your penis will lose its functional purpose and will never ever produce healthy sperm ever again.

10b. If you are a woman, you fear that the body part of yours that never ever sees daylight will only have the experience of coming into contact of a sanitary pad and cold, hard air. (pun intended)

Cheers,
Benjamin

The Virgo Monologues

While surfing the net yesterday, I chanced upon to see what I was like. A virgo.

The sign Virgo is symbolized by the Virgin.
Your sign's element is Earth. Virgo is ruled by the planet Mercury.
You enjoy helping others and being of service. Virgo is shy, and prefers working behind the scenes. You are highly discriminating and a bit puritanical.

Virgo is intellectual, critical, fussy, shrewd, logical, methodical, practical and has teaching ability. Virgo can lack confidence and needs constant reassurance.

It freaked me out. I don't believe in daily horoscope where they say you will make a fortune by "bumping" into someone "speical" or that you have to take a leap of "faith", whatever that means. I believe more in personality horoscope, where the above words in italics really really reflect what I truly am.

I'm going to break it all down into details so if you're bored and do not wish to hear the confessions of a virgo, move on to another webbie.

I enjoy helping people. Yes sire to that . I don't do donations or charity work per se but I like to assist people in need of help whenever they ask me, of which I will gladly oblige.

I prefer working behind the scenes. Yup to that. Whenever I do school projects, I might hoard a major portion of a project and just do it and don't take due credit for it. My project mates attest to that. As long as the effort that I do is equivalent to what I get in return, I don't care what the rest thinks.

I am highly discriminating. I'm critical to myself. Having high expectations of what people do and what I do too, I always measure and compare which is a bad bad trait.

Virgoes are intellectual, critical, fussy and shrewd. I'm a loud mouth myself and I can get harsh with words too and the tendency for me being arrogant or stuck up is somewhat true. I won't deny I'm an intellectual nor will deny I'm not but to a certain degree, I feel that I think and analyze better than other peeps.

Virgoes are logical, methodical and practical. In other words, you're a fuddy duddy that thinks only one way. Sigh, I admit that. I think very systematically, like a mathematician. From young, I've always excel in maths and I still do. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't choose to stay along the Junior college route. People who know me quite well can ascertain the fact that I'm a practical person. Something I do must justify some form of returns or else, why waste your effort?

Of course, I do have a fun side to all that practicality and I feel that it is a good trait despite all the critics there to go for the gut feeling, but practicality is like common sense, which I think I have loads of it. Hence, I'm less of a risk taker.

Virgoes can lack confidence and needs constant reassurance. Hence, my paranoia towards certain matters and I'm always pessimist and take a bad view so that I can reassure myself later when things really go awry.

Horoscopes are freaky. They just open up the guts of my personality and lay it on the boardroom table to show and tell people what are you all about.

I'm an open book. Burn me.

- Benjamin

Parenthood

We all know how parents are.

They nurture you from young, inculcating you with positive family values and when we reached the age of adolescence, we just hope that they slowly loosen their grasp on us, giving us the freedom to what we want to do.

I love my parents, and I'm sure you all do to. But there comes a time when you know enough is enough.

My parents always say "You big already lah, got wings can fly lah" when they wish to restrict me to certain stuff which they feel is not appropriate to my age.

I guess everyone loves the independence of choice, to do whatever we want, when we like it. That age is when we start to experiment and push the boundaries.

Parents act as an out-of-bound (OB) marker for us to not cross the line. Depending on the individual, we either heed the rules or make our own rules. Defiance runs in the blood of me I guess.

We often take parents as role models, someone to look up to and respect. I'm blessed to have parents who support me whatever I do.

I know their wishes from young that they would like me to be someone successful like a lawyer or a doctor. Which parents does not want to see their son established and well-off?

They gave me the choice to choose my own secondary school. They gave me the choice to choose whether I was heading to junior college or polytechnic. They gave me the freedom of choice and I respect that. And I admittedly sometimes abuse it but that’s not the point today = p

When I see wailing children on the street, I often see how each parent handles each situation. Each parent either pampers or punish.

Then, what if the scenarios came down to me? Hard or soft approach?

I'm still old school material since I prefer discipline. A kid needs to know that certain boundaries are simply unpassable be it whether it's their choice or not. Only till a certain age will I be more open, like how my parents treat me.

Is it the correct formula of parenting? I won't know. But limiting one's choices from young and then opening them up slowly later as time passes seems more appropriate. It's like a parent protecting a child, not exposing them to certain dangers until he feels that his kid is ready to face the world.

- Benjamin

Achievers Day

I was procrastinating on what happened on Saturday.

Loads of wonderful things happened.

I went to school to receive an award for topping a module. Just so you know, there were dozens of "achiever"s there too so I was like a face in the crowd as compared to the cream of the crop had numerous awards and vouchers from banks to get.

But the thing was, it was nice to see familiar faces after a two week abscene from my memory.

The lecturers and especially my good ol coursemates which never fail to bring a smile to my face.

We took gazillions (okay fine, around 30 photos but i like that term) of pictures just elated after the event is over.

For the next 2 more months, we will be seperated by the numerous tasks of an intern of taking coffee orders and filing documents dated past 1988. I exaggerate.

It is like the last few chapters of the book, you know it is about to end, where the evil person is slained or put to jail bringing about a happy ending.

It's just lovely how things wrap up the way you see it, the fading months of my final poly life.

"Whacked by a trout on my head"

As I was saying, I have pictures. Achievers Day Photos

After the school function, I met up with the rest of the dreamd8s for the video shoot for TV mobile.

Yes you can find my skunk face now available on all buses with brainwash boxes.

Just to rehash some of the funny moments when I was being interviewed:-

When filming was about to start, they had to adjust my postion, the lighting, the camera positioning and check for reflection or stuff like that.

So, as I sat nicely in the camera frame, HostSara asked me to adjust my seating.

HostSara:" Ben, are you comfortable with your postion?"
Me: "Actually no. (Shift my legs). Better now."
HostSara: " So, you're okay now. Don't move too much when we film you."
Me: "What if I have hand gestures or I might jerk a bit to the side?"
HostSara: "How much do you want to jerk then ?"
Me: (Stunned)
Cameracrew: (Resisted laughing)

For those dirty foul minded people, I'm sure that was funny. For those angelic fellas, time for you to brush up on the world.

Another dumb moment from me:

HostSara: "How's your love life now currently?"
Me: "My love life currently is like .......... (had to think for a minute)
Me: "It's like the fish market, rather stale."
HostSara: (Interrupts)"Fish market sells fresh fish leh."
Me: "Yah hor, lemme think again."
Me: "My love life currently is like .......... (had to think for another minute)
Me: "Newater ....... it's bland and tasteless and ...."
HostSara and Cameracrew: (Cuts me off)

All and all, I think I injected much humour of myself that reflected me on the TVmobile trailer.

If anybody sees it, please do tell me how much of a dumb joker that I look.

Peace out,
Benjamin

The Medieval Ages

The age of chivalry and men wearing chunky metal. The age where the world is flat and life revolve around war in Europe.

Watching Timeline in the movies just a few hours back, the only thing I was rather impressed was the realistic portrayal of costumes and the cinematography. I'm not sorry to say the plot was rather a yawn.

I guess my threshold for more highly intellectual movies have reached a notch as the only movie I wanted to watch "The Butterfly Effect" were fully booked out by secondary school students holiday-movie-hangout-wannabes.

Anyway, the Medieval ages reflect how primitive human emotions were back then.

The giving away of a handkerchief for the man to go to war was a remembrance of the lass who has a place for him in her heart. Love, was not just another word in "I love you", but a language.

Hopeless romantic I am in my daydream fantasies, I hope to sweep a gal off her feet and gallop her into the sunset as we (((censored))).

The world has lost its touch. The touch of the true meaning of love.

Love isn't bought over by a bunch of mere flowers or a wedding ring to profess eternal imprisonment for yours only but Love is about the faith, the heart, and the drive to love another with no regrets for all eternity.

Give me a handkerchief somebody.

Hopeless romantic,
Benjamin

Cliques

The world is full of cliques.

Political parties, trade unions, soccer pals, mahjong khakis and working colleagues.

It is human nature for men to find emotional comfort to conform to the common.

I never liked the idea of cliques. Never did, never will but it subsists in my deluded subconscious mind anyway.

That's because with cliques, there are the outcasts. The nerds. Geeks. Outsiders. Gaijins.

Nobody likes to be left out in anything but as long as you don't fit in a clique of either jocks, hard-working colleagues or stylish metrosexuals, you will never be able to find your innate ability to relate to a group.

I never like to be moulded into one senseless group of people doing something nonsensical without the notion of consequences hitting right back at you in your butt.

A true life example was some of my school mates back then, all of them joined a CCA and I refused to join. Yes, we were close friends but that doesn't mean I don't have a mind of my own.

I was okay with the idea of this CCA they were all interested but I decide to resist and go against the idea of registering with them.

Yes, I confess to being in cliques here and there in school, in work and even in mydreamd8.

In school, I'm close to a certain bunch of people who are my project mates and my mahjong pals. In work, I'm closer to the younger crowd and the account servicing side of the company.

In my dreamd8, I'm closer to people whom I went out with outings because I know them more in reality than what is portrayed on their blog.

The reason why I'm debating my mind with the idea of cliques is that it is unhealthy and it should not be practiced but it can only come under deaf ears.

I don't practice shutting out people I don't "click" with. Instead, I try my best to establish some form of decent conversation with them even though it can be patronising or become a bastard.

Then again, if people choose to shut themselves and choose not to be in a clique. Go for it. I did that once before because I couldn't fit in. But then I realised. It is an endless cycle of struggle and closing up your social circle limits your humanity.

It is a matter of conformity and not a choice.

Unless you love to be in a world of your own.

Then, you're delusional. And you have your own right to be one.

- Benjamin

P.S. I'm being nonsensical again.

My career in advertising

I know it seems that I have a lot to blog today.

I think there should be around 4 posts below so read and find them since I was on a short hiatus away from the blogging world.

I think I mentioned this before but I'm just going to do it again.

Ever since choosing a career path in advertising, I have come to terms of both the positive and negative aspects of this industry.

You don't mean anything to your company. Period.

I think this might apply to all industries but essentially, all the company's board of directors do is care about the bottom line, where their next bowl of Nagoya rice grains will come from.

Therefore, loyalty to the company is as cheap as the dirt you step on.

I always had this notion of being faithful and stay with a company till death do us part. All I come to realise is that all the company wants to do is sap away the quintessence of our soul and make full use of it until we expire or past our usefulness.

It is a sad world out there but I guess these are the harsh realities of the working world that I have to accept.

As a teenager, I used to think that the working world is where you establish yourself and earn your dough. It's fun, energetic and full of experiences. How I wish that was true because it isn't as it is a really dog eat dog world out there.

Being only an intern for the past 2 weeks, I have seen many facades of employees gossiping about one another. It's politics that is unavoidable in any situation.

I guess I have to learn to accept it. The politics, the working environment and the industry that I choose to associate with.

I love the advertising industry because of all the creativity that transpires me and I wish to be any part of this sector be it media planning, creative production or account management.

Not to be oxymoronic here, but the advertising industry has its flip side to fun too. Seeing your work out there, intriguing peoples' minds to think and fulfilling your client's demands, the satisfaction you get from it is limitless.

You don't have a choice in every situation. It is not every situation that you can have the decent half of a burnt cake.

That's life I guess. Swallow it and spit it out.

You need to taste the bad before you can experience the goodness of life.

- Benjamin

Technolust

Everyone loves gadgets.

All things big and small, snazzy to practical, the fuzzy to the vibrating.

Gadgets run our daily life from EZlink card, refrigerator, the brainwashing box in your living room to the device that radiates harmful radioactive waves to our miniscule brain that operates only at 5% all the time.

Without gadgets, I can safely say bring me a spear and I will hunt my own food.

I guess technology has changed our life loads and I recall my first inkling for a gadget.

During the late 90s, everyone was super crazy over pagers and handphones were the sizes of bricks.

From neon to glow in the dark, anything that beeps, is a hit.

I begged, I growled and I moaned. When I finally got a beeper, everyone moved on to another revolution of being a brick-carrier. (note: I was pretty young then)

We all know technology changes faster than I change my underwear and when a new gadget gets into the consumer marker, everyone rushes to get one without their undies.

After a pager, I craved and lusted for a handphone. I guess this was where I got infected by "technolust".

I was bedazzled by what these gadgets can do more than how clean my underwear was. It got to a point where the craving for a better model of cellphone/digital camera/MD player was overpowering.

I guess nobody can get off the hook once they catch on technolust. IT illiterate people are safe from this virus.

Nerds, geeks and technofreaks constanly yearn for what's next.

On my list is an iPod and another cellphone. Yeah, I guess I just belong to the geeks after all.

- Benjamin

P.S. I change my underwear everyday. I think.

Controversy

****This post is regarding my participation in the mydreamd8 competition****

I'm not stirring up any controversy, thank you very much.

Drama ain't any part of my life and I like it to stay that way.

Anyway, some people have confessed to an "alliance" in this mydreamd8 competition. Yes, the "Survivor" plotting of "who's going next." Aka a clique to get themselves further in the competition.

From what I have gathered, I don't really care about some of these people.

Yes, that is a fact.

You want to win this competition, I'm not giving you any, just go ahead and win it from under my nose. Just watch out for my snot.

First of all, why is there even a need for an alliance? The concept is so totally different from "Survivor" or "The Mole". Hell, I wish it was like that so I can "play the game" but as I said earlier, the "money" ain't worth it.

Friendships are more valuable. But one million can drastically change my life, help my family and get me further in my career. But this ain't a competition of a million bucks.

I digress.

I don't like to participate in politics unless it is something worthwhile to fight for.

Not to add more controversy or what, I liked some people as friends here but I don't know who to trust, frankly speaking.

Don't ask me the question whether I trust you totally because there is always the benefit of the doubt.

I love you guys and gals. Seriously. If there wasn't such a political competition, I would form great friendships to some dreamd8ties here. But the fact exist. It is a political competition that we got ourselves in and it is too late to back out.

I just hope for the best that people who vote for me, like my blog and me, to keep me around. That's my motto. Blog my best and let the fans decide the rest.

That's all I ask for. And maybe to meet more friends who are sincere to not care about the money.

- Benjamin

P.S. Somehow I get pulled inside some controversy and people are calling me names. People who know me know that I'm not like that. And I don't wish to pursue it. I just wish eternal damnation to those rumour mongers.

I love Fridays !

I am totally in love with Fridays.

Yes, the exhilaration of a 2 day full sleep at your own freedom without an alarm clock is rather liberating.

You cannot express the amount of joy. I guess this is shared among people working 9-5 and does not have to work on Saturdays.

The end of the work week represents a lot of things to me.

First of all, no more "stare in the air" to differentiate the nitrogen and oxygen molecules floating in the atmosphere.

"No more boredom"

"Screams like the gal in the ad where my tampon will never be soaked and overflowing anymore"

Okay, I'm lame.

I embrace Fridays. The constant looking of the watch for the countdown as though it is the New Year bash. You would be like me when you have finished all your assignments and freezing like a chinchilla in the Artic.

Fridays. Enough said. =)

- Benjamin

Babies and cloning

Babies.

You expect me to get cuddly face or coochie coochie with them.

I'm not a baby person and don't expect me to apologise.

Their small fragile heads and bite size fingers, I'm really afraid I might drop them and be sentenced to jail or the grossness of them just squeezing through a hole the size of 50 cents barely a few weeks back scare me.

I love babies on the contrary, when they are like 12 years older.

That's my take on the baby issue. Now to grow up and stop whining like a baby.

The Singapore government's recent focus on the decline of our population has ablazed our newspaper.

The blame of Singaporean's men sperm not being able to swim fast or that the eggs of Singaporean women are getting the avian flu, I don't wish to pursue that.

Instead, I would like to discuss more about what governement "intervention" is going to do to "interject" whatever "support" to "boost" the "cock" population. All puns intended.

Their policy is, The more "work" you do, the more "bonuses" you will get.

This policy ironically reflects two of governement doing both in the boardroom and the bedroom.

If you work hard and are successful in clinching more profits for your compnay, you get paid more bonuses. If you exert harder and are willing to split your spouse in two during intercourse and make them suffer 9 months, you will get a bonuse too =)

$400 million from our coffers will contribute to compensate the fertility of us Singaporean men. Why don't they just use that amount of money and do research and development which we all are looking forward too and clone men.

Won't that make life easier? A win-win situation if you tell me. No more suffering for the women and the men need not keep up "providing" every night admist the whinings of the mother-in-laws for offspring.

We also can shut up most of the employers since they are so unwilling to grant maternity leave to the papa and the mama. With cloning, we just break ethical issues of all the religions of the world but look on the bright side, we are on the forefront of the biomedical industry. Isn't that what Singapore is striving for?

Babies or clones, whatever they may be, there is still a need for natural sex before all of us human beings will die from the lust that accumulates and eventually die of fits.

I do wish to note, if the women of the world aren't that picky, choose a man wish you can shag and is good to look at in the morning when you wake up(you don't want to wake up from a nightmare to face another one immediately , do you?).

Marriage is an important decision. Having babies and creating life is even more blissful. So ladies out there, stop being choosy, we need you to do your national service !

- Benjamin

P.S. I anticipate a pig head outside my doorstep anytime soon. I live along Sexist street, Block 69 #06-09. If you want to send me an anthrax letter, my postal code is FCUKER.

Long distance relationships

**** There is a section in Mydream d8 blog that I like to bullshit and since I wrote this and it is my thought on how long distance relationships are. I present to you my take on LDR.****

I guess the majority of us here don't have long distance relationships.

We always see our lovers/crushes like everyday that sometimes, we wish it was like some other hot babe/hunk that could replace that image.

When you're spouse/lover goes overseas, you start to have an inkling over him ..... or even love the fact that he is gone.

My half-cocked theory is based on relationships of unmarried couples who are having a long distance relationships (LDR).

LDR will not work. Period. Unless you fantasize and masturbate to your lover overseas to show how much you miss him/her through phone sex or whatever that pleases you 2, a relationship is difficult to maintain through matter of words and emoticons.

There are two types of LDR. One is where two individuals that have met up in real life and then one suddenly has to depart like a Korean drama to save herself in another country because of brain cancer or that she need to go study or her future will be in peril. Usually it's the latter.

Then the 2nd type of LDR where both have not met up in real life before and are just maintaining a connection mostly through the internet be it webcam, email, forums or some form of long distance stringed-paper cups.

My stats which I derived from digging my nose and ear with the same finger that accounts to the results of this study is that 95% of the 1st type will end up as a failure and the 2nd type is 99%.

Why the high failure rate you might ask?

Simple. A relationship is built by 2 individuals in love, trust, faith, commitment and effort.

Some make it a point to call one another to profess their undying love everyday, some just leave their relationships be.

Whatever it maybe, we individuals are all different so we view communication in a bond of love very differently.

My "findings" show that the 1st type of relationship will sustain for an average of 3 months before one falls into the infidelity vortex and eventual communication breakdown.

The other "finding" is more concrete. I have evidence of 1 person. (that's substantial enough for a research, I wish to applaud my Mass Media Research lecturer for imparting "this" much of knowledge) who constantly looks online for love.

That person is my cousin. She has been hopelessly searching online for the past 6 years and did she found anyone with mutual intentions? YES ! but when they meet up in real life, the distance that kept them apart suddenly felt heavy and found out the reality of the gap they bridged.

Love, be it distance that keeps two apart or may it be time to see one another, is a responsibility. Maintanence, passion and the faith for the other's love is what makes a relationship work.

My personal input in this is that if I ever have a scenario of number 1, I would let the person go. I do not wish to burden her or even burden myself because if we are fated together, we will eventually be together. Forever more.

Cocked to you by,
your hopeless romantic,
Benjamin

Alive and well

Yes, the rumours weren't true, I did not die and went to hell.

Instead, I watched Haunted Mansion with Gwenne and so happened to bumped into Wendy and her god-sister.

Eddie Murphy was hilarios but it got a bit too exaggerated in the end. Including the plot but if you are bored and have money to spend, go watch it for a knee jerk laugh.

Updates for the past 4 days. Monday was the movie above, Tuesday was slack, rest and sleepy days, Wednesday was Marche romp courtesy of someone I know whom is about to quit his job and is celebrating it and Today aka Thursday, is a free blogging fest !

You see, I have been blogging for the last 4 days. Technically.

My workstation has no computer and I had to resort to writing a NORMAL journal in my AWFUL handwriting.

And I kept on writing. Note: I was not skivving, I had did all my tasks of the day and have done EXTRA analysis of what I have to do and I wrote on my journal as I waited for my next assignment!

So in the next few posts, you will see what my mind rambles on when boredom hits me.

Cheers,
Benjamin

P.S. Thanks andi for your concern, was just preoccupied with stuff and by the time I reach my comp, I was too drained to blog =)

Words from a Taxi Driver

It's rather humbling to hear from another person's perspective.

Taxi drivers are part and parcel of our daily lives. There is a demand for quick travel and they are there to supply us with this service.

No matter in what country, this job always exist and some might deemed it as a lowly paid job. I see it as a job that encompasses so much more than that.

They had to face the brunt of the SARS. They are the ambassadors for our nations for embarking tourists. They are at our helm with the wave of our hand. They don't save lives or significanly change us but they are here to show us the way.

I wish the cab driver that I conversed with won the Senior Citizens award.

It being a long journey, it was more than idyllic chat as we talked about the education system, the economy, the population decline, maternity leave, threat of other nations on Singapore's territory, the job industry and even our own family.

I shared my views as he shared his. I knew I was endangering my life with him concentrating on his driving (which was unnervingly fast) and with the chat we were having.

The journey was swift and brief but I got so much more from there. He gave me a piece of advice, a quote to face the future.

"Study your best, Expect the worst"

As much as I can study very hard now, whether any employers want me is a totally different ball game. Educational qualifications matter only that much.

Being a natural pessismist, I believe in Murphy's Law. I never place myself too high as I can get knocked down on the perch with one single blow from the government.

Some fantasized government ruling that I have made up to hit me with that single blow would be the following: -

1. Media industry is downsizing. MediaCorp & MediaWorks to merge.

2. Advertising expenditure to decrease for the next millenium.

3. Singapore bans all form of reality shows (including mydreamd8)

That my friend, would be the saddest thing in the whole wide world.

- Benjamin

P.S. I should start considering a career in cab driving.

P.S.S. I have a FREAKING guestbook ! It's about time man. Compliments and Criticism go here >>>>> Guestbook <<<<<

The McBad experience

I'm pretty sure everyone has consumed McDonalds at least once in their lifetime.

Being a typical youth, the Mcperience has been a weekly affair although everyone knows how sinful and unhealthy it is for your taste buds.

So a typical visit to your Golden arches would encapsulate friendly service, heavenly food and exorbitant prices.

Sadly, enough, the only indulgence any part of my body got, was my wallet. It was happily emptying itself galdly in the hands of the ronald crew.

Let me give you a rundown of what happened.

I ordered an upsized quarter pounder plain meal. The cashier serving me gave me a bewildered look as though like I was some Martian, having their virgin encounter at a fast food outlet.

I knew then and there that something kooky will happen to me.

My pal, Aaron, who was at the adjacent counter was requesting for more chilli sauce. His cashier promptly threw 2 packets of it at his tray. Rather rude and abrupt.

We were aghast at how Aaron was being served but we maintained our composure by joking about the 60 seconds hourglass.

For those frequent patrons, 60 seconds entitles you to a free ice-cream or free bar-top dancing by the cashier. Nobody wants to see a pimply teenager or a senior citizen with dangling dentures dance as they puke and they always have the cold delightful vanila cone.

Anyway, the sand in the hourglass maxed out and so, Aaron was evidently pointing to the countdown which had ended. And also looked over at mine and hinted to the cashiers. Both of which, ignored him

For more accurate information, this "promotion" of promise of 60 seconds was between the time of 6 - 8 pm. We ordered our food at approximately 7.45pm. Furthermore, if a company fails to deliver on their promise of efficiency, and does not compensate, what would a customer think of McDonalds ?

I'm not really a fussy customer and I'm not really hard up on having an orgasmic vanila cone although I was tempted to see them dance.

Despite all that, I faced the worst of the worst. My special order of quarter pounder plain was delivered to my hands. It turned out to be an oversized hamburger.

For the uneducated fast food junkie, that's just bread, followed by a big slab of beef patty and then rounded up by another bread. So, WHERE THE HELL IS THE FREAKING CHEESE ? HELLO ?

Faster than you could recite that 5 second Big Mac chant, I revisited the cashiers. Their manager (from the looks of it) served me and told me to wait back at my seat and they will serve it back to me.

They did serve it back to me in record time of 3 minutes. I was shocked at their sudden change of outlet effiency.

Lo and behold, as expected, (I always investigate my Quarter pounder to feast my eyes on the melting cheese ...) the top cheese merely melted lightly with the bun and the bottom cheese was like a slice that you could take from Kraft's package at the Supermarket counter.

Apparently, all they did was warm up the cheese which wasn't very warm and left the burger cold. So during that time, the whole burger is lukewarm.

Aaron wanted me to go face the burger panelists but I was agitated enough and just could not be bother and just ate the half-cold burger as it is. It didn't taste like heaven as it is but halfway to heaven is good enough.

Both of us finished and Aaron wanted to take some medication. I approached the cashier one last time. I asked VERY politely. "Can I have a cup of cold water, please?"

The response. "Only that ah?". My calm reply was a firm "Yes". Her face turned from a beaming cashier to a very haughty face like I'm some sort of cheapskate customer who is here to drink your plain water. She was just plain rude.

After all that I have gone through, I contemplated whether I wanted to jot it all down.

This is one bad experience but there were so many good encounters with McDonalds staff at other outlets. They knew the meaning of Quarter pounder plain, they won't throw chilli sauce in your face and they will gladly dance on the table top just to please you.

I recall my marketing lecturer once said, one bad experience is good enough to destroy the good impression of the organization. I love McDonalds (actually only their Quarter Pounder plain) but my wallet and I are more wary now.

Having been a part-time sales assistant before, I guess you cannot please all customers. Maybe you can deduce I'm a picky customer but after all, I paid my dues at the cashier for a non-McBad experience.

- Benjamin

Creativity

I gave considerable thought of me being in the creative side of advertising rather than in the management side.

Rewind a few years back, our government realise an importance of creative thinking as we have become regurgitators of information and gasp, decide to change the system

Coming back now, slight tweaks have been made but the essence of regurgitating is still relevant and existent.

You can never judge creativity as it is very subjective. That is why I doubt how winners of art and photography competition can win. I have my reservations.

I guess I have no credentials to even comment of what is creative or not. But I can comment that what might seem creative to you might not be the same to others.

People think being creative is different. Like having Afro hair in Singapore or parade around naked on Orchard road swinging your willy.

I beg to differ. Creativity is where you manage to enforce your own way of thinking and the others being able to comprehend whatever shit you have just created.

That's why I seek to be in the creative field. I'm just full of shit and everyone knows it.

- Benjamin

P.S. Don't hate me because I just insulted the creative field of advertising. Instead, hate me because I'm heading your direction next :P

Eavesdropping

I couldn't get to sleep again so I decide to blog.

Before that, I got an offline message from Wendy (Xiaxue), to peep at her blog! Haha, to my horrific hallucinations, she was praising me. Gosh!

Yeah, I know I didn't sent in the best picture of myself even though this competition is half based on looks and half based on personality.

The reason why it is on looks is because people that don't know any of the 40 contestants here, will see, judge and vote on what is here based on first impressions that strike them

Yeah, I admit, I have a bucktooth. Everyone has deficiencies in life they wish to correct. If you're fat, you seek to address the problem by going to a slimming centre.

Same theory applies that if you are in the middle class categoru, you have aspirations of owning the 5 C's. Thus, I resolve to get my teeth fixed one day. For now, I'm just happy the way I am.

Oh! I just remembered.

Whilst I was at work, I discovered that I had a desire to join another line.

Instead of being an account executive, I'm more of a creative person with crazy random thoughts that I like to input. I want to be a copywriter.

I know no ordinary person can be a copywriter but I possess some finesse in the English langage (i think i do at least...) and some wit to spice things up.

Handling clients didn't look so ideal to me after all. This struck me when my supervisor was cracking his head over coming out taglines for print ad for the brand.

His office is right behind me and he likes the open concept of an office so he doesn't closes his door. Hence, as I was browsing through magazines, his rather eccentric voice came thundering and I was an unwilling eavesdropper.

This unwilling eavesdropper turned willing when the frustration from the room behind me vented towards my direction as I could not concentrate reading the fine print of the ads anymore.

Hence, willing eavesdropper jotted down notes. And came up with 12 headlines. It was already 6 in the evening and I pondered whether should I submit it, it might score me some brownie points but also hurt me in the gut knowing the mr "eavesdropper" was listening to some stuff he should have blocked out.

I chose not to. Don't ask me why.

- Benjamin

Ups and Downs of an intern

This is based on what I have gone through the last 3 days.

Being an intern, you are the lowest rung of the entire company ladder. Even the auntie who clears the dustbin is higher than you because of two reasons.

A. Her pay
B. Even the CEO has to greet her warmly or she can threaten to not clear the waste paper bin of confidential information which will then be infested with parasites and infect the CEO with an unkown contagious disease.

As I was saying, an intern basically is to do something out of nothing. As roles and jobs are already assigned to the different people working in their jobs, your prescene there is more of an hinderance than a help.

In all serioushood, this is the case when I approached my supervisor after I had done all the assignments he delegated me to and he had to think for a full 5 minutes before he shooed me out because of a phone call.

I know he is a busy man and my prescene is not needed when he had to attend to so many things except me which I understand.

An intern however is the basic building block of your worklife, you will have to swallow and do all the chit that is thrown to you before you go up to the next rung which is kopi kia.

Everyone starts off as an intern or as some lowly rung position and I am taking my line in place because someday, I know I will climb the ladder eventually.

Until then, I might be best friends with the coffee lady, that is if she accepts me in her "clique".

- Benjamin

First day of work

Back from work.

It was nerve-wrecking as I set off to my internship company.

Not really knowing what to expect, I arrive 10 minutes before the dot and I was introduced to the big shots of the organization.

After which, there was a company meeting to update everyone on what has happened.

My boss is a real nice guy. Although he puts on a strict front, you could see a kind soul (i'm not kissing any boots here ...) within him. He is a really busy busy busy man.

For my time spent there, I cut newspaper ads of the particular brand i'm working for and also did some company background research to know what they do. I'm not naming it here for privacy issues. Sorry peeps.

All said and done, I felt it was an average first day of work. Of course, I wish to be exposed to many things but I had to start from ground zero.

What you learn in school is really child's play. The outside world is so different as I could not comprehend some of the acronymns of the terms they just blabber casually like their slang.

Well, it's only my first day here. I also got briefed about my job scope as an account executive. Basically to sum it all up crudely, you need to know everything, handle everything and if anything goes wrong, you are the blame of everything.

So there you have it. A desire for pain and my passion for it.

What's wrong with me?

- Benjamin

Anticipation & Anxiety

In about 8 hours, I will be at work.

The word "work" has not been in my dictionary for the past 3 years or so.

I've work as a part time sales assistant and data entry but 8 hours later is where I face what I have been studying for the past 30 months or so.

The advertising industry has its reputation. Most of it bad like it being a backstabbing field where people use you to climb up the corporate ladder or it being a very sleazy field.

In addition, if the compnay faces a budget defecit, they will just cut off advertising funds to save costs before looking into any "real" problems.

Hence, the anticipation. Not that I expect the industry to be like what I mentioned above because I that is might be only the bad side. Note: Office politics exist anywhere from boardrooms to toilet cleaners coffee breaks.

I'm anticipating so much more of where the managing, the multi-tasking, the pulling of people's hair, the taste of executive's sacarsm and the never-ending long hours. Yes, I have a high threshold for pain and I'm a sado-masochist.

And then there is the anxiety. The "What ifs" like what if I get to do all the shit work like photcopying my gluteus maximus or poisoning another's colleague. Then, there is also the "What ifs" I screw up or I plain don't know what terminology is being thrown around and I'm expected to know them.

I'm anxious to know what is installed for me and I'm just anxious to get started. If i'm relegated to shredding paper documents, so be it. I'll just read the documents and gain some insider knowledge. "evil"

I foresee the next 3 months as a roller coaster ride. I will have much fear and fun while being an advertising intern. I don't know where I'm heading, I don't know where it is going to curve suddenly or make a sudden drop. I don't know where I need to accelerate or take a breather.

It is a roller coaster ride, and I'm just going enjoy the ride wherever it takes me.

- Benjamin

Face in the crowd

Another reality checkmate today.

Being featured on the New Paper, I know I am not a pseudo-celebrity.

Just another face in the crowd. I could either get defensive or just take it in stride.

Since the reviews were rather neutral, I shall take it as constructive comments.

After all what can you fully reflect a person you know with questions in 15 minutes and column space of barely 400 words.

C'mon. Everyone is not perfect both personality or looks wise.

I admit I have average looks. Or that among your group of friends, there is a "Benjamin" in the crowd. Yeah, so what can i do about it ? Visit the hospital and order new features to improve my looks or blame my parents DNA ?

I might not have the looks but at least I make do with what I have.

I take offence too to the recommendation that I would date "tortoises".

Well, you don't expect me to sleep with a date on the first few dates.

I recalled I said I would love to take things slow but not as slow until I get Alzheimer's Disease. C'mon. It takes time to know another individual fully and it might take more than just a few meetups definitely.

Maybe you like to get into their pants in 15 minutes if I can make assumptions to how you like a "hare-ried" date since you all so love making it.

- Benjamin

P.S. Do take a look at the Esplanade photos., courtesy of PixiePosh =)