Friday, December 31, 2004

Shagged

I'm like SO tired.

Booking out early today entitles to also harsh training in the morning, as a token of appreciation what sores and blisters to wave goodbye 2004.

I'm starting to feel that I have a labourer's hands where my palms are like cracked heels and my arms are so veiny.

Yesterday, it was a navigation orientation around a large plot of land.

Least to say, I was upset to only find half of the checkpoints as I pride myself as having an in-built compass for my right brain.

But a pat on the back for my bunk buddies who endured the entire journey in wet boots and agonizing weather. We did well.

ANYWAY - BORING ARMY TALK ASIDE ...

It's the last day of 2004. Boo.

And I don't feel any remorse of the past 365 days of re-living it anyway differently.

Quite a lot of pleasant memories and some sad, have passed me by.

Mdd8, Graduation, Army, Work in an Ad agency, Falling in & out of love (when? you may ask...).

I guess looking back at it, everything like, falls into place. Of how I've grown or matured from the experiences.

I feel a gush of warmth just rekindling these thoughts.

So nice.

Okay, it's me being a fuzzy wuzzy bear. Punch me in the guts will ya.

I also noticed the fact that I did NOT travel out of the country this year.

And I also have heard the awful news of the Tsunami diaster. Yikes.

What an awful way to end the year. Heartfelt condolences to those whose lives were deeply affected by the impact.

To end off the year, I guess everyone has a resolution to make.

Refer to what I blogged last year. It will be the same every single year for me.

If you are too dumb arse lazy to click, I'll write it out here in html text.

"Live life to the fullest", "Cest la' vie" & "Carpe diem".

I apologize at using cliche phrases for my resolutions. It's so not me.

Ironic: I wore the exact same shirt for book out today and for the 2004 countdown party. Freaky.

I wonder where I should head tonight to celebrate the birth of the upcoming 2005.

Predictions of what I will be like in 2005:

I guess I will be more boring (servitude to the nation duh...), I guess I will seal up my heart even more (I'm becoming jaded...) and I guess the world doesn't look so that much optimistic for me before like it used to be (the pain of growing older...).

Sad, hopeful but still remaining a cynic for '05,
Benjamin

P.S. Customary Happy New Year to everyone who reads this blogs or knows me. May it remain happy for ya throughout the months. =o)

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry X'mas

(((Note: Long pent-up entry for the last fortnight or so)))

I should have blogged last week but I was swept on the tornado of weekend madness of expending whatever freedom I had.

Last weekend was filled with catching with friends and I have photos !



Me looking like a faggot celebrity besides Wendy



There ain't no sun to use my shades



Pink is "in"



The 3 MJ-teers



DMC groupies ! Till Film do us cut !


As I recall from last week, I had an amazing time with the conversations over my codfish pasta. Lame jokes ruled the table.

We then proceeded to a nearby lounge to carry out our silver plate of conversations over large pints of smooth German beer.

I couldn't finish mine, it was like freakin' 2 litres although I had a plenty fine share of lychee martinis from the gals.

Heck the alcohol content, martini rocks. I still can't fathom the idea on why guys like the bitter stuff that goes inside beer.

Seriously. Bitter doesn't go well down the throat. PERIOD.

With my half-dazed mood, the lot of us transferred over to my house for a rather half-sober game of light-hearted mahjong.

Fast forward to today, on what is probably the most celebrated event of the entire world.

Merry X'mas everyone and Bless your wallets

My bank account is freakingly shrinking due to presents and I'm almost down to the state of beggar-hood for every December at the rate of "generosity".

Coupled with the fact that I have mutated into a movie buff has scared me shitless.

"The World has no Thieves" , "Ocean's 12" & "Kung Fu Hustle"

Meeting the Fockers are next on my list and I'm not suprised if I'm watching it tommorrow.

And to think that about 1 years plus ago, I was strongly advocating not wasting 8 bucks on a 2 hour show of just sitting there while getting fat on popcorn.

Oh phooey. How times have evolved. I still love popcorn nontheless.

Sue me. Oh make me fat, butter popcorn.


Movies are part of my sanity now, to distance myself from the regimental life which influences my weekdays. Weekends are now for the theatres. And no qualms about spending $8.50 although I don't mind my friends treating me to some (BIG HINT).

That aside, I guess I'm having a bittersweet time in army. Training is tough but I guess I aspire to endure BSLC, overcome ASLC and end up in BMTC as an instructor.

If things really DO go my way, I can only hope for the above route.

Oh before I forget, 1 fantastic present I got from my best friend is the last 2 books of the Dan Brown collection.

"Angels & Demons" is simply marvellous and just plain good literature for the soul.

Christmas Day is derived to celebate the birth of Jesus Christ but the real month which JC was born was in March. December 25th is actually the day to worship the Sun God of the natural progression of seasons from autumn to summer.

Weird huh?

The things that we put our faith in. Hmmmm.....

I say: "Always a believer, never a follower"

In addition, my brain nucleus have been slowly reflecting on what I want to do.

Reading Dan Brown books have caught my interest in religious studies although I will ALWAYS remain non-devouted to any faith.

As said, I will only align myself to a faith if I strongly feel drawn to the strength of its followings.

But back to what I want to do in my life, some self-reflection has evolved.

I ain't somebody who will work miniscule jobs. I wanna climb up high.

I ain't somebody who will fulfill my existence by climbing mountains and doing extreme sports. I enjoy my sanctity of a well-preserved skeletal frame when I die.

I ain't somebody who will be satisfied with a job with no challenges. I wanna do something I'm interested in and puts me on the "ball".

Whether I be in advertising, law, banking or even stockbroking, that enigma remains unclear for now.

It is currently in a constant flux of debate bouncing off the hollows of my skull.

Sigh. At a point of making life decisions and I can't even decide which gravel path I shall set myself to.

I'm such a doofus.

Life is not boring. It is what I will make out of it.

- Benjamin

P.S. A X'mas present isn't something you give to somebody with the intentions of borrowing it when the receiver of the gift is done with it. Tsk tsk JM.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Going crazy

It's amazing to find out how slack I really have been in BMTC.

Training in SISPEC is real tough.

Morning jogs and exercise is enough to tire out my wreary skeleton and coupled with more physical exertions, it's a killer.

Not to mention after lunch lectures where your heads tend to doze off to sleep and you're struggling to keep your attention to the lessons.

On the bright side of things, I love me bunkmates.

I reckon they are a cool bunch of peeps which would work together in the field where we would be shagged and cannot think straight.

That said, I guess I'm gonna have a tough but fun time just to get the rank of corporal.

Enuff military mentionings, I'm gonna do some slight christmas wandering around town with peeps to get enough of civilisation that have been lacking in my gut lately.

Then, I'll be meeting my DMC mateys. Yay! So long never see them liao, at least can see them before Christmas would be good.

Oh, I can finally have a hairstyle. But it ain't much longer but it would do some justice for my shadow when I see it where I can see some form of a head at least.

Wahahaha. Okay I'm going mad from Jungle Fever.

Crazy liao,
Benjamin

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Wishlist(s)

This could possibly be my last entry before I enter SISPEC.

Training will be siong, nights will be agonizing and rest breaks will be minimal.

But have I regretted the decision that I tick I wanna go to a commanding school.

Nope.

I believed since the initial stages of BMT, I already had set heart to be someone who will lead.

Reason being: I ain't someone who can just laze around and slack, I'm pretty hands on and won't stop working even if it is for a mundane reason.

Serving the nation for 2 complusory years is mundane enough.

Looking at some of my lazy bunkmates and their posting, I'm just sniggering at their just desserts I guess for not wanting to do "work".

At least I'll be doing something useful, exposing myself to more jungle warfare skills and interacting with wide doe-eyed new recruits when they enter the military.

That said, I'm feeling upbeat and pumped for the next phase. It ain't gonna be easy from the hearsay of rumours but I just need to grit my teeth and hold on.

The dinner meet-up with some of my army buddies yesterday was MISERABLE.

Someone who had owed me a treat didn't come, another guy was stuck at the causeway and 2 other had plans.

I'm like HELLO ! This is probably the last time you see us all together due to seperate journeys we are about to embark.

This morning was filled up with my ziploc-ing everything and tieing loose ends of the SBO with black tape. I zonked out after that because I had a runny nose and kept sleeping till now.

I didn't know sleeping was so blissful as I kept waking up and then with my tired brain coaxing me to sleep, I fell into dreamworld again.

That said, I dream that my national enlistment will be over soon and I get out to the world and earn some moolah!

I have SO MANY items I want to buy, Christmas has empowered my wallet to new heights now as I close my eyes to pay the cashier whenever I make a purchase.

I made up a Fantasy Christmas Wish List for the fun of it so here goes:

Ranked from top to bottom in no particular order:

1) A Ferrari Modena along with a driver's licence

2) An adorable Beagle puppy

3) Jeans from G-Star

4) Sony 42 inch Plasma TV

5) A new condo plonked right in the centre of Singapore aka Orchard

6) An expense-prepaid trip Around the World journey in First Class

7) A lifetime membership to all the Gyms in Singapore

8) A sailboat (wait who am I kidding, I want a Cruise liner)

9) Calvin Klein underwear & A wardrobe of suits from CK

10) A movie pass that will entitled me to watch all the movies alone in the cinema (except friends n family) till I die

Like I said, it is a FANTASY wishlist and that said the REALITY wishlist of the above would be.

1) A Ferrari Modena toy model car build to scale 1:200

2) An email with loads of cute Beagle photos

3) Jeans from Bossini

4) A Toshiba 14" Black/White TV

5) Free condominium showflat tours

6) A trip Around the World journey in our very own Singapore Science Centre

7) A SAFRA gym membership

8) A trip to East Coast Park to paddle canoes

9) Cheap pasar malam boxers and burgers from BK

10) GV Gold pass which entitles you to 10 free movies

That said, middle class aspirations will stay status quo. They will always be aspirations.

However, I do have an affordable wishlist and I shall shamelessly list it here anyway.

1) A new pair of Adidas sneakers

2) A TV for my bedroom

3) An extremly great looking frameless spectacles

4) Aviator shades !

5) A few good books to read

6) A nice pair of sandals

7) Nokia 6260

8) The entire collection of Get Fuzzy! comics

9) Freedom

10) A free get out of NS pass, No Pass Go, Get out of Confinement card

I didn't know making a list would be so much fun ! Note that I didn't put I want an iPod because I seriously don't see what is the hoo hah over a mp3 player.

Lately, music has been seriously detached from my life, but I rather have any of the things listed here than an iPod or whatever Creative has.

So I bid adieu to everyone and hope to see everyone for Christmas when I book out.

Yipeee!
Benjamin

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Stupendous

I got my posting and I'm heading to SISPEC !

Yes me is going to be trained to be a Sargeant. Training will be shiong so for the 6 months or so, I apologize for the dissappearance from the blogging world.

Rumours foretold to me that people there book out REAL late and have to book in REAL early, there will not be sufficient rest for the trainees and basically, be prepared for training in hell. Chiong SUA in jungles EVERYDAY.

I guess I have to take it a step at a time. I'm really looking forward to torture.

That said. My morning was filled with me doing dirty work.

Cleaning my army SBO, boots and helmet. After the posting news broke out, it seem I automatically became a robot and just synchronize my actions to pack my stuff in preparation for the coming day to SISPEC.

With a message left on my blog from my ex-colleage, Michy, I dashed out of the door for lunch.

She's like my bitchy partner at work. Although we have different roles, I enjoy having lunch with her because conversation topics would stray from absurdness to bizzaro.

We like to pick on one another's fault and then talk office politics. She's like the best friend that I don't talk very often due to different lifestyles.

Anyway, I went back to my old advertising agency to meet up with Michy and bump into my bosses and other colleagues.

General comment: Ben is a skinny skeleton that has just come out from the oven.

Sigh.

Anyway, Michy and me then had a very long lunch as we talk about the happenings of what happened at the Agency while I was away and the unhappening things in our lives.

Photos of when I was in the Agency : (when I had hair...)


My colleagues then. The lunch bunch gang.


Yes, I know what you buggers have to say. Michy and me look like an endearing couple.

But behind hidden that still frame of photo, our sharp claws were itching to dig one another eyeballs out. Haha! We should meet up more often, Michelle. = )

So after lunch. I headed to the depths of the shopping jungle.

That's right. I fell right into the trap of the marketers.

I went X'mas shopping.

Met up with Irene and Vernon, started from Zara (Borders) all the way to Heeren, I manage to get my family something.

Except for my mom and I want to bring her go Shoe Shopping at Charles & Keith.

My expenditure totalled up to $200. That's like 70% of my month's salary.

But I think it's worth it lah since X'mas happens once a year and also, I made purchases for the long term.

Got meself two polos & a pair of jeans, kinda the official civillian uniform for future sergants to be.

Meet up with Eugene & Max for dinner and we talk about our own army days. Irene went home first because she couldn't stand the testorone talk (kidding... she was tired).

I didn't know Army talk could last for such a long period of time but we kept chatting about our posting, BMTC days and whatever funny memories we all had.

Went to Selegie Rd Tow Huay to continue Man's talk and the Buddy Bashing session began. I won the unanimous award of having the worst buddy ever.

Barely making it home by 12 midnight, I'm shagged with all that shopping and talking.

But it has been unbelivable. And it has been a stupendous day.

Meeting up old pals, shopping and bitching has certainly made it a stupdendous 24 hrs for moi.

Nothing can ever add up to today unless you could have included a mahjong session. But hey, I can't complain, I'm already perked up for all the good things that happen today.

With two more full days left to the elevator straight to hell, I guess I have to treasure whatever I have left (Freedom is the operative idea here).

Oh, talked to long lost project mate Felicia went I came online. So nice to hear from her again. Gonna meet up k Miss Feli.

It really has been a fabulous day for me.

Free, Carefree & Happy as Big Bird from Sesame Street,
Benjamin

Friday, December 10, 2004

In a state of freedom & comfort

I got 3 topics of discussion before I go take my snooze but before I jump into that, I just have to say this.

I LOVE FREEDOM. THE FREEDOM TO ROAM, SLEEP AND EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT WITHOUT BEING STUCK TO A ROUTINE.

That said, national service looms right ahead as my block leave is veering off the corner and back to me wearing the green suit. Sigh ...

First off, I'm back from the theatre after watching National Treasure.

Once again, I applaud the compelling storyline and the personalities that engrossed me. Definetly worth the $7.50.

Makes me want to be a historian or a symbologist like Robert Langdon from 'The Da Vinci Code'.

I want to own part of that wonderful TREASURE : ) It would be a nice dream to swim in a sea of gold coins.

Second off: Call me crazy but I have now shamelessly advertised myself on a dating website.

I might reek of desperatness in finding relationships but lemme scrutinize the situation matter.

Me = Army = No contact with gals = Next Best Logical Answer = Advertize myself shamelessly

Frankly speaking, I was really just plain bored the whole day and was reading emails when I stumble to the newsletter of the notorious dating website which has been emailing EVERY week.

Guess their persistence paid off and I, as bored as can be, decided to write a long profile of what I look for in gals, my preferences and such...

Okay, you can call me the ultimate loser as such but hey, I made a bold step up the staircase of TRYING to expand my social circle.

On my third point, whilst on my way to the cinema on the bus ride, an incident happened.

Some 16 yr old kid was staring at me. For god know what reason. He just purchased something from Crumpler and there he was trying to look good with his goofy cap and iPod earpiece for all to see.

There I was just in a cap to cover my growing crown and my favourite quiksilver blue jacket and jeans outfit.

It came to my utter realization that I used to be like this kid.

Into gizmos and trying to look good. The phrase would be 'dressed to impress'.

I know in life, we go through different phases. It is my pleasure to acknowldege in this blog that I no longer am the dress to impress others adolescent anymore.

I'm at the 'Dressed for subtlety and character' phase. That means dress my own style like in more comfort i.e. tee n jeans.

No more swanky jewellery, big blast out lout branded t-shirts and caps. Just plain ol' me. I guess it's the state of where you know where you belong. You can't care less of the world's existence.

>>> As of 2 am <<<

Just had a pretty dumb convo, will talk more about it tmr.

More photos of my army days as a recruit !

Gonna know my posting tommorrow. A lil scared, nervous and excited mixed into one knot of Benji's stomach.

Optimistic & hopeful for a less torturous vocation,
Benjamin

Thursday, December 09, 2004

My Army Pals

Let me rehash abit of my BMT days before I forget them.

I have two very close army pals of mine which I enjoyed my army days with.

Cork is Me, Dork is Alexis and Mork is Ivana. (Names were change to protect the innocent once again :P)



Together. We are the LemonPuff Boys.

Okay that sounded very gay but hey, that phrase didn't catch on anyway in the platoon.

We got along very well because we were the studious ones in the bunk, always there to self-volunteer or the active peeps doing the area cleaning.

Let me start with Dork. He got this nick because of his goofy hairstyle that truly looked like a Dork pre-NS days.

From the looks of things, he is a sentimental guy where you can see him hug his handphone to sleep with his gf on the line.

We discuss loads of things together and the most unforgettable memory is when we kena weekend guard duty for lazy people who decided not to turn up and we had to be their innocent replacements.

Down the guard duty path, we chat from dawn till dusk till dawn about our primary school days, the gals we use to date, our formative years after NS, just to kill time to protect our lovely island of Tekong.

He's truly a buddy to me but the only damn thing is I wish for is to get him a NEW HANDPHONE. He always seems uncontactable half the time and my M1 line is wasted calling directly to 6 seconds of his voice mail 90% of the time.

SO IRRITATING ! But other than that, he has no flaws for the last 3 months that I've seen him.

Then, we come to Mr Mork. OR Mr Potato. OR Mr Tall and Useless. He's the Mr Nice Guy around because you never see him whine or complain or just about laze around.

I think it's my fortune to meet someone like him because you can see he's the guy that friends can count on (or so I presume so).

BTW, he's the one who found out about my blog and he's the one who fucked me unneccessarily because I TOOK HIS BLOODY TREE. I will NEVER EVER FORGET that incident.

The ironic fact about me and Ivana is that we were born on the same day, have the same signature, our front left tooth looks like we have genes of a rabbit and somehow have similar thoughts like those telepathic twins.

Only thing though, he still has a child in him as he goes a lil wanky over 'Mr Big Bear' and 'Lego Bionicle' stuff. BTW, I pity him because he has a girlfriend who spends money like the river.

I, on the other hand, is a jaded fool who is cynical about world peace and questions when are the aliens ever gonna invade us.

The three of us, three total strangers who were physically weak then, but now, I guess all of us have reached a certain standard of fitness. It would be amazing this Friday once the posting order gets out and we end up in the same place.

Maybe there, we can popularize the phrase of 'LemonPuff Boys', one more time.

Cheerio,
Benjamin

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

My right to voice

It's a little unnerving to know that people you know know even more about you through reading your blog.

One of my Army buddy, Ivana (not his real name) stumbled onto my blog thru another blog.

Assuming I didn't know, he would then pass the hyperlink to Alexis (note all names from now on are changed to protect their real identity).

What if Alexis tells my buddy? I-Sprained-My-Ankle-And-I-Can't-Go-To-The-Window-To-Take-My-Own-Shirt-But-Can-Do-IPPT-Idiot.

Frankly, I fuck care if anybody I offended in this blog reads it and know that I'm talking such bad stuff about them.

I for one have an opinion and I can voice it in any given channels I have. It is up to the discerning reader to comprehend what I say is bias or just plain BULLSHIT.

BTW, I did not write this because Ivana saw my blog and told me about it but it just occured to me.

What if? What if people I offended read my blog and says "Hey, that's me my fren/buddy/stranger is talking about."

I think my only curt and honest reply would be if I saw my name or something written about me would be "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion."

Unless what I see written about me is drastically biased to the opinion of absurdness along the line like "Benjamin trims his armpit hair with a parang" or "Benjamin is going to be the next president", I would then violently object.

But in any case, any form of feedback to the writer would still be futile. It will just end up like a childish catfight of words with two different viewpoints.

All that said and done, I have this to say to Ivana.

"You can have your bloody tree. Don't fuck me because you mistakenly took my tree."(Private joke...)

Mr Cork to Mr Mork,
Benjamin
Shrunken !

It only came to my realization today at the mirror of what I have become.

Yes, Ladies and Gentleman, I've shrunk myself.

Yes, after training in the wilds and training for IPPT, I'm close to what you would liken what you spit out after chewing your chicken wings.

On Monday when I went for a medical check-up, my fats composition was 'Normal' but my skeletal frame could use some 'muscle'.

Ideal weight for my height ?

I need 10 more Kilograms.

I need to be 68kg. Well I used to be that WEIGHT before I entered 3 months of hell.

Needless to say, I'm rather horrified.

Not from the fact that I need 10 kg to be considered 'ideal' but as I looked into the mirror today just trying to be a narcissitic arse before I zoomed out of the home, I notice one discerning fact.

My t-shirt was too BIG for me.

My sleeves covered my elbows and my collar is practically droopy. I was flabbergasted.

I'm now a 'Small'.

If I was a woman, I would be heaving my breasts for joy. But I ain't menstrual so I don't think any GUY would be gleeful with a downsize.

I'm no more a 'Medium'.

I need to get fat. Like real fat. Becoz 90% of my brain (not fats) says I'll end up in Sispec and most prob, I will get to look like one of the poster child for some Africa starvation programmes.

In need of help (mass),
Benjamin

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Awakening

Yes, I finally broke my procrastination streak and got my arse off to Jurong to fix my lappie's keyboard.

Somehow, the cable was wonky and the technical staff there cannot deduce it to "too much physical pressure" or "overheating".

What the heck. I repaired it and paid 52 bucks. No complaints. I got my best friend back. = )

In this few days of block leave, I'm gonna do the following:

- Sort and clear all army rubbish neatly into my duffel bag
- Go Bowling
- Go Wild Wild Wet with my army pals
- Maintain my fitness by going to gym/jogging(twice)
- Avoid Chocolate at all costs
- Binge only ONCE at Marche or some buffet place until end of '04
- Sleep until 11 am, just nice for lunch

Call me crazy but I guess I like to list my next step of actions for the coming week or so. I'm an organized freako.

Btw, I'll also get my posting this Friday and high chance is that I'll end up in SISPEC (Suffer in Silence Plus Endless Confinement).

It also has come to my realization that I'm an insufferable whiner already.

For the last 4 months or so in army, my blog entries have been about complaints and boring updates or so. That is like so not me post-poly student.

Where has my opinion, stance and voice gone to ? I have been inexplicitly suppressed by the narrow-minded conditioning of the army regimental training.

That's it. I'm now going to sound out more.

Be it about my boring as banana love life or how I view life jadedly (such a word???).

Because on the boring train journey back, I reflect again on the meaning of life.

Before you say, there he goes again, let me explain again.

I was thinking what is the value of working so hard and earning so much money to get a house & car, support a family and then die.

I have the inkling of earn what I spent, save enough till I die, and let my offspring get none of my inheritance except the house and the expiring COE car.

I think that's the best way of living because you'll then spent all your money on enjoyment because you EARNED it.

Well, that's my way of looking at it. The meaning of MY life is to enjoy whatever you have of it thru pampering yourself.

Note: Benjamin is a selfish brat and he's aware of that fact.

I guess this marks a new milestone of my new line of thinking.

Benjamin

Friday, December 03, 2004

10 days of Freedom

Now. If you all were wondering where last week's update was, you only can blame one person.

Lady Luck who refuse so much as to flash her boobs or fart at me.

I was like SO SUAY last week.

My lunch was eaten by birds, got called up to be weekend guard duty replacement, kena platoon i/c AND my laptop keyboard is spoilt.

Hence, I'm blogging from my best friend's house now.

I'm gonna go early in the morning all the way to Jurong to get my lappie fixed somehow. I need my daily NET fix.

By the way, I'm freed from Tekong and have a 10 day respite from drinking spiked island water.

I don't know where I'll be posted to but most prob will be back to Tekong to train to become a Sargeant where my next 5 months will be a MISERY !

But before I dwell on that misery, I guess I just wanna relax myself before I recognize my time is due for the torture rack.

So after the graduation parade, I had a good dinner packing my stomach at Pastamania before viewing 'The Incredibles'(Yeah, i know I'm slow).

I just hope to get back to the normal swing of life aka no more bad things befallen upon me ANYMORE for the next 10 days.

I had already enough. I have decided I shall go buy Toto or 4-D because if my luck is that bad, it will bound to shoot back up to positive-hood.

Oh, and I heard Taufik won Singapore Idol. Well, better a mascara looking guy than a J-rock band impersonator I guess.

The only good thing I pray for now is that my keyboard can be repaired with little or no fuss. I NEED ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD.

Newly promoted Private,
Benjamin

Saturday, November 20, 2004

10 More Days to P O P

For the army deluded females, P O P means passing out parade.

That's where I can officially leave the island for good. (I hope...)

On depressing news, I reached home today to receive my rejection letter from the Air Force.

Whoopie ! Now I need not die on an airfield in the upcoming future.

That would leave me solely on the track on making my moolah on the business world I guess = -)

In order to save my miserable pay and pocket allowance has officially been declared "you're on your own", staying indoors seems like the best thing.

I wanna watch "The Incredibles". Heard only good reviews like GOD DAMN EVERYWHERE.

Anybody ?

Benji

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Army Daze

It's a 5 day holiday for me as my burnt weekends due to field camp are given to me off in lieu so I book in on Monday !

BOO YAH !

So for the last 2 days, I've been crashing at my army pals' place playing our consoles (read xbox n PS2) and heading to town to view in the early X'mas lights.

I should also deem myself as a "movie fan" right now. I patronize cinemas like a burrowing mole eager to return home.

There are so many great shows that I'm eager to watch. The only genre I avoid is super horror shows that scare even my shit shitless.

So what if I'm a big pussy : P Becoz for days after that, my vivid imagination will work it's magic based on the horror movie plot, and restless nights follows.

Placing that fact aside, I watched 'Taxi' becoz of the Queen.

You can take a ride on me if you want


And Latifah didn't dissappoint me. As the heroine, I the audience laughed at her antics and her driving prowess.

Gwen recommended I should go watch the French versions (read 1, 2 & 3) that I'm sorely missing out on.

In a matter of hours, I'll also be eagerly catching up on "The Forgotten". I've been anticipating this for MONTHS. 2 to be exact since I caught it's trailer.

The plot intringues me. And I lust after Julianne Moore, just not in a "bring to bed" way, more like "ooh you have a brain and a luscious body" kind of way.

Put your hands where I want them to be

Okay, up to this point, you must be thinking what brainwashing food the army has been feeding to Benny.

Benny is lusting after women twice his age, possibly twice his size and has express notions twice to jump into bed with them.

Just so you know, I'm perfectly O-KAY. And I feel like an eager F4 fan now if they would appear in a press conference and sign in between my butt cheeks with a permanant ink marker.

BOO YAH !

After viewing the interesting side of the split personality pyscho Benny, the Older Woman Slayer, now comes to the boring part.

Benji, the Underpaid Recruit from the depths of the Tekong jungles.

It's only another fortnight before I get posted out. Frankly, my hopes of being a pilot are dashed because I don't think my peers and my lao das perceived me as someone with calibre enough to be an officer.

Thus, I shall officially end my journey (dream) as a pilot here on out. (BTW, just so you know, you need to be an officer to be a pilot.)

Well as depressive as I sound, I'm not dying to be a pilot. If you say the chinese phrase "cannot eat the grapes, then say it's sour", I'll smack you with a crate of wine bottles.

But I'm sure there are mundane stuff that I'll be assigned to. Coupled with the fact that my fitness is ALMOST there except for arm power. SIGH ....

But looking back at the 14 weeks which I have enjoyed (overlooking the fact of my buddy which I have come to abhor), it has truly been an amazing experience (quote sans Amazing race eliminatees).

The bonds, the humour, the poking, the encouragement, the sharing of rations, the screaming and frustration, the rushing and the tekan-ing.

(Wipe away a shed of tear)

It has truly been too quick to absorb what I went through. In a blink of an eye or the view of my last 5 entries or so, my days in BMTC will soon dissolve and days in a unit (aka Hell) will come forth.

It has truly been an army daze for moi.





Peace out,
Schizo Ben/Benji/Benny

P.S. If you can't recognize me, that's because I'm wearing my geeky army specs and lost 7.4 kg = P

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Pilot results update

FYI, the application of me ever being a pilot is still being processed.

I went for the computerized test, quite confident I did pretty quick and well.

I went for the medical, gotta have a review a fortnight later, pending my hearing and dental.

So if you are a person who want to condemn me to ever fly an aeroplane much less a kite, just scream harshly into my ear, and I'll be permantly have hearing problems thus failing to listen to minute sounds.

My own self perception of the chances of being a pilot: 20%

The real possibility of me ever being a pilot: 0.1%

The possibility of me signing on if I advance through all the check-ups and interviews: 99.9%

I don't wish to put all my fruits in a basket.

I'm not DYING to be a pilot. The notion of having an opportunity to fly the skies no matter in a heli, f-16 or a transport plane is pretty chirpy for moi.

The alternative route is to stamp my trademark in the advertising industry.

Not that I will make much of a ripple anyway but climbing the corporate ladder will be an ardous task for the early few years.

Scraping dirt and paperwork with pathethic compensation, being a pilot sounds like an easier route with less shit to shovel.

Then again, there is always politics be it between flight engineers & pilots or account executives & directors.

There's always shit in the world when clumps of group of people are together.

On an interesting note, I think I mention somewhere early in my blog that I'm interested in anthropology.

I like to study people behaviours, what they think and do, how they backstab and use one another. The evil side of human beings.

Exploring it is a kind of inner calling for me, I don't know why. Maybe that is why I love to immerse myself in reality shows for the certain "extent" of reality they can provide.

Whether I become a pilot, pyschologist or an advertising asshole, I guess the only reality one can immerse themselves to truly fully experience the evil side of human beings is their jobs.

Being used, stepped upon and abused. Part and parcel of the working world as much as the media or our textbooks which to cover up and deny.

I just wanna get out of the army and face the shit. Because all the reward is the salary which can provide you sustainance and survival.

That's why we are here for.

Survival of the fittest.

Step up or be stepped upon.

That is why I'm aiming for a commanding school to be either a Sergeant or an officer. I hope to be either one because the only thing that I'm lacking is my arm strength to do chin ups.

I definently do not want to be a lackey for the rest of my life.

I want to be in control.

Freak,
Benji

Friday, November 05, 2004

Grenade !

I'm back on a Friday night from that dreaded island.

That's because of an "Espirit De Corps" run at Marina South on a god-damn Saturday morning.

If there is a God, how could GOD let that happen?

It is a SATURDAY morning.

People DO sleep on saturday mornings you know?

Yes, PEOPLE, the little walking two-legged rag dolls you created to walk on earth.

Remember? But then again, I'm an atheist.

And I need my god-damn sleep for the run tommorrow so this blog entry will be tart and short.

(((Note: For the high-praising Christian fellowers, the above paragraphs were only symbols of expressions, I'm not Anti-Christ for God Sake)))

Religious bull aside, I threw a LIVE grenade today !!!

It might seem like a Chey! So what but I guess every NS man shudders and smile at their own self recollection of the day they threw their grenade.

It's like having sex after being a virgin for 50 years and never knew how orgasmic release can be.

I apologize for the sexual reference but then again, the experience was so fast that you never knew it happened until minutes after you release.

I ran to the bay, waited for other 3 botaks to throw their explosive yakult bottles and when it was my turn to throw mine, I didn't hesitate.

Until the moment I took out my safety lever and then I started to say.

Ut Oh.

When I was given the signal to release hell to the targets, I just threw blindly and scream and scramble for my full-bladder balls.

Disappointingly, I didn't pee on my pants as expected. However, BOOM! it went and the vibrations were just stunning and shocking.

A minute later and I ran back to the safety shed for cover. In barely 5 minutes, I did something worth to be called a MAN !!! It was so fast like 30 blinks of an eyelid !

Wahahaha , I wouldn't mind throwing grenades for a living but I would be pyschotic to sign on my life/future to the green uniform.

Ut Ah.

On Bitchy Ben news about his Beloved Bastardly Buddy, these are quotes that came straight from the source:

"My cough is getting worse." (Pause) "It's because it rain this morning."

"I feel pain but I don't know where it is."

"Wake me up tommorrow morning please. I accidentally drank half a bottle of cough syrup."

Note: My buddy is more stupid than a hermit crab. He didn't even bathe for 2 days because he didn't want to get cold. Imagine the suffering I had to bear with his smell and his hygiene.

Okay, it's almost midnight, I gotte knock out or else I'll be a walking zombie running straight to the ocean.

That would be a treat for journalists. = )

- Benji

P.S. Will provide updates of wannabe-pilot results tmr

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Waking up as a Leader

Back fron the hantu jungles in Tekong once more.

Completed SIT test which is a test of whether you can make it as a leader.

I think I just did O K. Not sure how and by what I'll be assessed by but frankly, I don't give a damn.

I had fun doing the challenges. It's like Survivor tribal immunity only this time, you can be shot by a sniper, hanging off a cliff of 10m height or suspended on muddy logs.

FYI, I have a sudden interest to be a pilot.

Before you laugh your balls or your knockers off. You all must be thinking.

How can BEN be a PILOT ?

Let me reason. BEN likes to FLY if you all don't know that, BEN likes to go where the WIND blows and BEN likes to get gun down by MISSLES.

Well, somehow, plans of me going to the advertising industry has taken a turnstill and I'm thinking of diverting to work as a CIVIL SERVANT.

OMG - Ben working for the SINGAPORE GAHMEN. I must be an infiltrator or spy for some foreign gahmen.

Which BTW, I don't mind too since I like what Jennifer Garner does on Alias so for what it's worth, I would love to be that sneaky little idiot that prodes around sensitive information and carry out Mission Impossible stuff.

Okay, I'm getting a little out of hand.

Back to topic. Me = Pilot.

The possibility is there. I've did the test and I'm going for my medical on Monday. So if I pass the medical, pass the interview stage and I should be almost there.

(((Sing R Kelly "I Believe I Can Fly")))

On other Bitchy Ben news, my buddy has not bathe for the last two days for some unknown reasons.

He has a dartboard on his back because this morning, he shitted and it was like really ugly and he dare not admit he had "artillier-ized" the bowl.

On news about meself, I've found a newfound sense of discpline of waking up at 530 am to brush my teeth and shit so as to avoid the crowd no matter how tired I am.

I'm gonna meet my DMC buddies later for movie, I've been wishing for a break/breather for god knows when, good thing is I won't return to the jungle in the next month or so and that's good enough.

Barely have 24 hours to spend it on leisure, I have to treasure it hard.

Movie-goer & Buffet-shark,
Ben

Sunday, October 24, 2004

A Month of Disappearance!

I'm back and alive again.

For friends who thought I went to the grave, sorry to dissappoint ya.

A quick recap for what has happened to me for this one month:

- I caught a terrible viral fever that knocked me out for a week or so
- Attended my brother's wedding
- Survived a 6 days Field camp in the midst of the Tekong jungle

As you can see, all these took place during my weekends and hence, no updates on this bloggie.

The viral fever was so serious that it involved an ambulance and Changi General Hospital.

My stay was brief though, for 2 hours. I felt mistreated there as the doctor just brushed it off.

CMON, I had a CONCUSSION. Since I lost all my senses and fell into a black daze where I can hear only voices and nothing else.

But all that said and done, I'm still fine but I still have a flammatory cough.

WHICH I GOT IT FROM MY BUDDY.

You know, my buddy has yet to recovered from his fever cum cough cum whatever shit he is still being sick with.

First day of Field camp, my body was ready to tahan the upcoming 5 days of strenuous activities with the lack of proper food, sleep and bath but NO.

I say there is no GOD because my buddy kept COUGHING the fucking entire night.

So instead of me having a lack of proper sleep, I had NO NO NO sleep at all.

FYI, his cough can mimic those old fogeys 80 yr old ++ on their death beds spitting out the last ba kwa stuck in their throat from stuffing themselves from New year goodies.

Hence, I got infected, AGAIN on day 3 or 4 and I tahan my clenched fist from flying to the other side of the basha.

BTW, a basha is a tent, only much more smaller and I SO much prefer to sleep on open ground regardless of rain, snow or slate falling on me.

I cared about needing more fresh oxygen during my sleep than hit by a meteor shower.

ANYWAY, my buddy dare backstabbed me and tell some people whom he went to pee pee to the bushes with that I'm SLOW and SELFISH and not SUPPORTIVE.

"Bashing buddy session alert" - Surf to next webpage if you do not want to read my aggression.

YOU FUCKING CHEE BYE BUDDY. You are the SLOW one. When everyone is eating their ration, you are still doing you powder bath. When I already slept, you have not even packed your field pack for the next day. You are always the last fell to fall in for our section.

Everytime there is a mancheck, you always go AWOL because you are out there trying to suck up to some sargeants or some senior's cock.

The WHOLE platoon is sick of your SHIT. ALL of them agree with me and shake their head at me everytime they see you performing your stance of trying to polish somebody's boots.

I have the honour of the WORST buddy ever in BMTC history. I should have an award for just surviving you. I don't mind suriving another FIELD CAMP as long as you're NOT THERE.

I don't WHINCE like a pussy when I'm digging a shellscrape. You sound like a pussy in heat everytime you smash your ET blade down on the soft soil. For the fucking FACT, you are in the shade whereas the rest are in the HOT SUN with HELMETS on.

You ARE SO LAZY that you only water plants for AREA cleaning and NEVER do any BUNK cleaning and you had the NERVE to say you contribute SO MUCH rations to the bunk when your only offering to the bunk in the past 2 months was "ANYBODY WANT A HACKS SWEET?"

You have the nerve to eat our rations. The bunk ask you to stop eating our chips or chocolate because you are sick but you NEVER LISTEN. You want to become an OFFICER, go ahead, you will only SUFFER. I hope they will enjoy you licking their ass and your feminine whines.

"END OF RANT"

I apologize to my blog readers. This has been pent up too long. I can go on longer but I don't want this blog to be all about my buddy.

I'm waiting to PASS OUT soon where I need not hear his coughing every night anymore. EVER.

Bad Buddy aside, I survived Field Camp !!!!

Infested centipedes and snakes campsite plus mosquitoes that sting your arse when you shit plus rations that taste like mush plus carrying a 17 kg school bag for 4 km or more.

I've survived !!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!

((((( Round of applause for the Recruits who surivived w/o dropping out )))))

I just wish for more rest before I'm setting off to the jungle again tommorrow for the next 3 days or so. Sigh.

On a happier note, I feel I'm beginning to bond more with my section mates but all of us are too shagged to even think much less care for one another.

I hope to post up a few photos of my field camp before I book in tonight.

That's the update for the one month or so.

I promise not to go missing again for one more month from this blog.

That is if I dig a trench to bury myself to escape from the coughing and whining.

Recruit in training / Posting a Classified ad for a buddy,
Benjamin

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Random mumbles

Time passes by real fast.

Like really really fast. I still can't believe the 5 weeks I've already burned on a desolated island.

I've accepted the fact that the world is unfair and the label of being a Singaporean male is one that "protects and dies for the nation where he learns skills of the trade of killing wild boars in dense forests for survival."

I digress. I'm not here to whine about my nation's defence policies.

Regardless, I'm looking forward to the next phase of Basic Military Training where I get to bludgeon my buddy to death or get stinged by countless hornets.

By the way, my body still feels the same the day I entered Tekong.

I still have the same body mass, bulging fats and skinny lifeless arms.

It makes one wonder where all the training I've endured has gone to. Definitely not my brain.

I'm also beginning to bump into old friends. Friends that have become SAR GANTS and have the authority to ask me to knock it down till my arms become weak and I'm rushed off to the medical centre for the blood rush that goes to my skinny lifeless arms.

As a recruit, I can't talk for long with them.

It's this hierachical (correct spelling? Heck la) order where you cannot cross border and talk buddy buddy with someone higher rank than you like.

For example, if you are out in the working world and you are seen drinking coffee outside office hours with your boss, colleagues will assume the following:

1. You're having an affair
2. You're sucking cock/blowing pussy of your fellow superior

It's highly unlikely it will be the following:

1. Talking business in a casual affair
2. You're trying to poison your boss with rat poison in the coffee

Nevertheless what case it is, it seems you have to be in a role and my role in the army is to take shit from whoever.

But most people say SAR GANTS also sometimes get tekan because they have politics to meddle with especially with warrants or officers.

Whatever. When the time comes when I'm in deep shit of army politics, someone please bludgeon me with an ET stick.

Okay enuff talk about army. What has been going on with poor ol' Benny?

Well, I've been reading up like a bookworm. "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown.

Blurdy good book I must say as it intringued the hell out of my balls.

Besides reading, I've been binging on chocolate with my latest escapade at the minimart resulting in a receipt of 10 bucks solely on chocolate.

Maybe that's why I still have the same body mass, bulging fats and skinny lifeless arms.

In addition to being a chocaholic that gets the adrenaling of licking whatever melting chocolate that's left on the wrapper, I've become more self-depreciating, sacarstic and curt to everyone around me.

Don't know why. I don't have PMS thank you very much but I blame it on the weather.

With reference to my love life, I guess there are no updates.

Nobody new to stalk/interfere or love affairs to break up, it's so boring.

I keep listening to my army buddies love life and some have already faltered in camp.

But hey, I'm not complainig. Relationships are like pets, you need to nurture and maintain it and one wrong move might spell the doom of things. The pet will run away from the lack of love or bite the owner's hand.

So for now, I advocate the freedom to have ONS and going out without holding somebody's sweaty palms.

Oh god, I love being a weekend swinging single NS slave.

Abhors relationships for now,
Pyscho Ben

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Out n About, in Pain

I guess the idea of booking out early every Friday is getting to be a norm for me.

5 days isloated on an island with free accomodation, food and physical conditioning provided by the government provided by my parents income tax ain't that bad after all.

Just don't think of it as imprisonment. A life changing experience perhaps.

Reason: You get to see all sorts of people from different walks of life interacting.

Like I remember the first day when I got to my bunk. 11 other individuals were uneasy with one another.

But as day passes by, you get to see the side they share, be it good or bad.

There is the smoker beng biker who upholds friendship bonds, the mat yo-yo that adores his girlfriend and juggles like a bartender, the chinese horny guy who fantasizes about the next FHM gal, the inevitable geek who frequents Sim Lim and talks about cars all the time and the suck cock idiot that everyone hates.

It's a general stereotype of some of the people in my bunk. Don't take offence if anybody ever reads the above.

I guess I fall in the stereotype of cynical sacarstic bastard that demoralizes the entire bunk by screaming at them to do area cleaning or hurry up fall in or I'll throw a broom in their face.

I guess that was a pre-requisite of me being the bunk I/C.

I don't see the other section I/Cs doing the same threats though.

Anyway I digress.

I love my bunk mates save for a rare few. Which I shall comment further about their antics if they really irritate me enough on a Friday bookout.

But Friday bookouts are happy moments on a Fastcraft away from the Skull island of misery so if anybody makes me that mad, you'll be able to hear my grunts by Friday night.

Okay back to main point.

5 days week ain't that bad. But it will revert to 5.5 day work week in about a fortnight because that is when my physical training phase is over.

For those pundits who bet that I could not disrupt, go claim your winnings from a 4-D booth.

I did not pass my disruption test yesterday. "Hears cheers and claps from my PC office"

I failed 3 stations.

I hear gasps, jaws dropping to the floor and your balls choking your throat but Rec Ben is the Cannot Make it Physically Type.

Stupid reason being, I went to the gym the night before and trained on my Standing Broad Jump technique.

And practiced I did. The pals that went with me to jump had fits in their stomach from laughing at me when I jump.

This is because I grunted like a horny ape everytime I takeoff from the start line.

And Mr. Long Legs Me is very inconsistent but if I really concentrate, I can jump 230 cm wor~~
I digress again. Look what the SAF has done to poor old Ben.

So, I jump like umpteen over times until I think I mastered the techinque.

The operative word here is "think".

Hence, I headed back to bunk thinking that I could jump. Pass everything except Chin-ups.

Did I tell you that people daydream alot in an army camp?

To horrors of all horrible stupid mistakes in my life, I woke up in agony barely 2 hours before the IPPT disruption test with legs knotted like tree trunks and my lower back aching like Prickly Heat powder on your cock.

Results: My 2.4km run was 12.23 seconds. I failed by 4 seconds.
Pull up - I'm still a zero fighter.
SBJ - 212 cm. Failed by 4 cm.

Did I curse and swear? Nope.

I only have myself to blame for training strenously like a grunting hog in heat the night before.

Strangely enough 24 hours later in the comforts of my home now blogging, my thighs STILL FUCKING HURT and my back is still in AGONY.

I have refused to succumb to medicinal products like Yoko yoko, Counterpain or whatever cream, lotion and shit that you put to soothe yourself.

I believe in natural recuperation. Leave me in agony for the next 24 hours or so.

In pain,
Rec Ben

P.S. I'll be back to report the progress of my natural recovery plus the variety of swear words that comes out of my filthy mouth by tonight.

Friday, September 10, 2004

2nd Book Out Day

Back in mainland Singapore. I think I can get used to this weekday-hell weekend-heaven lifestyle.

It's like a different world and when I'm out now, I feel a little lost, out of place and hapless with no direction to go.

I think I'll spend most of my weekend snoozing and enjoying hot baths and watching TV.

I think I deserve some slacking time after all I have done in camp.

I'm the bunk I/C so I shout at my other 11 bunk mates to MOVE IT, or FALL IN NOW or DO AREA CLEANING NOW.

I'm like the mean guy. Yup. But I think everyone still likes me.

In my platoon, I think we are the best section, reason being we are quite spirited and quite efficient.

I just need to push them sometimes.

There were some occassions where all of them approach me to talk to this one particular guy who needs "assistance" to be aware of his short-sightedness in doing stuff.

He was talking on the phone past 2230, our sleep time where we had an important event the next day and apparently some of my section mates couldnt sleep.

So I had a one to one talk to him and I kinda reprimanded him but he took it in stride.

One ear in and one ear out.

Ok, I'm beginning to start to crap.

In the army, I'm beginning to pick up lots of vulgar phrases.

And I'm developing an even shorter fuse when I'm irritated with people.

I'm on the verge of snapping left right centre but all I do is bitch to some of my good pals in my section to release steam.

Okay, fine. I'm NOT a PEOPLE PERSON.

But then again, you meet different types of people in the army and some people are in my own opinion.

The CANNOT MAKE IT type.

In my section, there's a slacker, a person who loves to sleep ALL the time, an overenthusiastic person who likes to help people but doesnt get things done himself and a stubborn mule.

And the great thing is one of the above people is my BUDDY.

Fuck it.

I'm gritting my teeth everytime I look at him making a mistake here n there and I roll my eyes whenever he tries to help other people but yet fall short of getting his own stuff done.

Whatever.

I'm sure I'll snap one day. But for this weekend, I can just slack n relax.

I deserve it.

Blogging, whining and crapping at the same time -
Rec Ben

Friday, September 03, 2004

Book out Day

After a 17 days confinement, I'm out to the civilized world.

What do I really have to say about the island of Tekong for a chao recruit like me, also known as the lowest lifeform on earth's existence, especially in Singapore?

Nothing really. To be honest.

It is just a total different world on that island.

Regimental lifestyle with no privacy and no sense of freedom. This is what you call the army.

Freedom of expression and creativity is heavily subdued. Your left brain is stagnant for the 2 years serving the national armed forces.

All you do is take instruction, suck it up and take the punishment and that's the moral of the story.

It's 2230. Should be lights off time in Tekong now. Seems like my body clock is shutting down. I'll blog more about my bunk mates and the gossip tommorrow perhaps.

Back to civilian life,
Rec Benjamin

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Farewell party

Goodbye party cum birthday celebration for Eric, I gather all my DMC pals to celebrate my unification cum bond with my nation.

I'm just going to let the pictures do the talking. I have to pack my stuff.

I'll miss my freedom of speech, my hair and hot baths. Sianz. Not forgetting friends and family.

Doh! How could I forget?



































Sigh. Good memories will be forever kept on a blog.

Like good hair days, moments with friends and what's it like being with girls.

Adieu,
Benjamin
Goodbye

These last few days has been a whirlwind for me.

The reality of getting stuck in a regimental routine has slowly started to sunk in as I got into a really dowdy mood.

Before you think I have pre-suicidal symptoms for enlistment, think again.

Who wouldn't be hazy and be in a world of their own when they are being confined on an island for next few months or so?

I just hope I don't get tekan alot for unneccessary reasons and I just want to survive.

Period.

Just to let all my blog readers know. I'm really not THAT physically fit.

Yes I do jog and swim but that was like for only the last 3 weeks.

I had slight asthma and I failed my NAPFA. My upper body strength is next to nil and my shoulders are meant for 2 things.

A girlfriend's head and to prop a digital video camera.

Not meant to carry 10 kg of sand running around in circles like the speeches of parliment.

All that said and done, as punishing or harsh the training may be, I'm going to take it in stride.

I'm just going to do a countdown on my ORD date = )

So that's why I'm doing my bid farewell rounds with all my close friends, relatives and neighbours.

These are the following things I'll miss in no particular order.

- Mahjong sessions
- My hair which I groom painstakingly everytime I wanna go out and look nice
- Junk food as and when I like it
- Late morning wake-ups
- Blogging and the Internet world
- Shopping
- Online shopping
- Window shopping
- Online window shopping
- Nice hot baths
- Reality TV shows that are so good
- Taiwanese variety programmes that are so crappy
- My xbox and wonderful assortment of games
- Wardrobe of clothes that I have that I can choose to pick & wear instead of just No.4s
- Jogging, swimming and going to the gym
- My mp3 collection and iTunes
- Friends and gossip kakis
- MSN, ICQ and YM
- My family's nagging and playful talks

I guess that's a long list. Hope I don't miss out anyone.

I feel like an Oscar winner lol.

Bon voyage,
Benjamin

P.S. Since I'll be celebrating my b-day in camp, this is my birthday wish list. You can browse at what I like and maybe be nice and send a parcel to my camp or give it to me when I come out. That is if I ever do come out.

Alive.

Birthday wishlist :

Spiderman 2 OST ($18)
The OC OST ($18)
Lint remover roller ($5?)
Arsenal New Home Jersey 2004-2006 ($85)
Brown/Orange/White/Black Hawaiianas Slippers ($20)
Biotherm Homme Abdosculpt ($67)
A lifetime Gym membership (wahahaha)
A free monopoly "Get out of Army, Don't pass GOH chok tong, Don't collect Singapore Shares" card

Saturday, August 14, 2004

I'm a Survivor

Continued from yesterday events:

So yesterday's dry swimming sessions was exhilarating.

READ: ME BIG WINNER

I game maximum man fan zi mo like 4, 5 times until the players cry.

Seriously cannot believe my luck. Wahahaha.

Because me and Clara shared, she took her early winnings of 20 bucks and I reap the remaining $$$ of like 60 or so.

Quite a big amount when the stakes are only 20 40 cents.

Those who don't know mahjong, you don't know what you're missing out !!!

Oh, the amazing thing was I wasn't even tired.

The other 2 guys went to Sentosa and their heads were like bobbing side to side, falling asleep.

I guess the gym and the run kept my senses awake.

I understand the logic of why if you exercise at night, your body won't be able to fall into rest again.

"Logic holds truth" (Ben nods head)

So cycling back home in the midst of the night at 5 am, Bedok was pristine quiet and I was damn skared if any incoming vehicles will bang me.

I got no safety lights lah you see. Dange-rous.

So after a sweet 5 hour sleep, I awoke to a startle because Dad was blasting the TV quite loud.

It's a Saturday morning for god's sake.

I couldn't get back to sleep. Chants curse from mini black book on blasted TV volume.

Today's intineary is to pack my army stuff with JM. In addition, will be having impromptu lunch with Jian Hui, someone I never met before in my life.

He's also a blogger like me, so it would be strange for 2 strangers to meet and knowing so much about one another lol.

On other notes, my army list is quite comprehensive, just got further advice from peeps, so gonna get one more thing.

I'm NOT GOING TO SHOP, just browse. I'm heading down to Orchard you see = )

I SAID. I'M NOT GOING TO SHOP.

I need a leash.

Mad Dog,
Benjamin

Friday, August 13, 2004

Long Day

A quick routine blog after jog.

I had a relatively long day so I shall be brief.

Woke up at 10 pm plus and entertained myself with Xbox and was supposedly having farewell lunch with Felicia and Aaron but something cropped up for Feli.

So continued playing xbox.

Then, suppose to go gym around 12 noon but Vernon & Eugene came back late previous night from church so we headed to Toa Payoh gym after 2 plus.

My second trip to torture racks sans narcissitic lair.

To be brief, most people go gym to be fit or be healthy. It's just another bullshit reason to delude yourself and your friends that you are just narcissitic and that you want to look good in bed with another woman or at the mirror.

My favourite torture rack is the rowing machine. Don't know why but I feel so inclined to use it now everytime I get to a gym (so far twice).

So we gym from 230 to 4pm. And headed to Subway for a healthy snack.

All 3 of us it seems are Subway converts. My personal fav is Steak and Cheese with no olives, no onions, no dressing, slight dash of pepper and loads of capiscum, green leafy veggies covered in hearty italian bread.

And loads of cheese and warm meat.

I can just eat that everyday.

It seems that Vernon can recite the menu of Subway. But you can't help but admit the sandwiches taste so good.

Repeat after me. So good.

So good.

Okay after our affair with Subway, Vernon had to leave for church.

Btw, slight diggression. Although I don't know Vernon and Eugene quite well (3 weeks so far), I feel I "click" with them although we have very opposing views.

They are very staunch christians and I'm like the king of vice in terms of relationship, money, career, friendship and one night-stands.

The most sinful topic was me discussing on how I would gladly shag a "bitch" for cardio-vascular exercise.

For those who don't get it, use your imagination.

And for those who use your imagination, I acknowledge I'm a sick fella.

But you all very well know I'm joking. Right? Right? Right???

Hence me and both of them are like both sides of an apple pie.

We are alike that we are tasty and crusty on the outside but we'll never meet the filling inside because we have differing views and opinions. Okay, strange analogy.

Maybe that's what makes us "click" as friends, me of the evil nature corrupting them. Making them bad apple pies.

Muahahahahahaa !!!!

Okay end of digression.

Me and Eugene then walked from Cine to Dhoby Ghaut and I speeded off to the east.

Was suppose to play mahjong but something cock up with the other kakis so I decided to go teach tuition.

That was about 6pm until 8pm.

Then I left, dissappointed at my student, and called my cozzy who said I couldn't come over for board game night.

Hence, headed home as mahjong session will be at night.

So, as crazy as my long day had been, I tease myself even more.

I went for a 4km moderate run around the neighbourhood. It seems that the gym session instead of aching me, it instead invigiorated me.

Me, now at 10 pm, is going to rush off to Changi for overnight mahjong session.

Will be cycling there. Weeee........ I have legs of steel. I'm so prepared for army.

BRING IT ON.

What a long day I'm having.

Most people call me "siao", but most of my friends call me "Benjamin."

Siao,
Benjamin

P.S. I'll be celebrating my birthday in camp, so I'm gonna prepare a b-day wishlist so that my frens can get me something nice and practical instead of something redundant and pukeable.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Gym Shagged

Today was my virgin trip to the gym.

Vernon brought me around to the various machines and I got a taste of a few banging of the heavy weights.

Calves, triceps and everywhere you think possible is sore or strained.

Except for me crown jewels of course.

I always had a fear of gym because I always had the perception that I'll get sneered upon by the gym rats for intrusion of territory.

Just so you know, I was sneered (or imagined myself being sneered) at but lucky Vernon was there to show me the ropes and machines that can castrate your balls off.

I'll definintely return to the gym, when as needed to be fit be it after NS or I need a release.

"Whack your head with a dumbell if you had another meaning for the word 'release'."

Anyway, after that, met up with Gwenne n Clara who were bored to tears from their slacker lives.

Eventually they ended up at my house hounding the xbox and watching Singapore Idol.

We had loads of fun criticizing the judges and mimicing Ken, the bespectacled judge.

Me looking like Ken.

"With specs on nose ridge and fingers adjusting it to fall off his nose, the words uttered are:

"Are you sure you are 16?"

followed by a lecherous grin and a mark on the list on who to call on lonely nights."

Lol. I know it is mean to tease the judges and the contestants but we need jibs in life to make us smile.

I'm trying to organize the last few days of meet-up with close friends.

I know it sounds like I'm dying from some unknown Egyptian curse or being detained in Jail under the conspicuous eyes of the Internal Security Act but hey, 3 weeks ain't a small matter of time u know.

But I guess I need to rest my aching shoulders. I didn't manage an evening jog today as I kinda sprained my ankle.

And I hope to go for graduation on the 19th of Auggie.

Gym stinko,
Benjamin

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Perfect Sunday

Okay, i'm just retracing the steps of a perfect Sunday I had last weekend.

This was before clubbing.

So on a bright and cheery morning, I accompanied my mom to temple to get a "fu".

A "fu" is a paper like triangular pendant to bless you during your stay in army to ward off bad luck or evil spirits.

Being an atheist, I was an obliging good boy to my momma and respect her wishes to pray to her gods.

After that, I went around Bugis to get my mini toiletries and other miscellaneous stuff (I had an army shopping list to fulfill) after which I went to Jurong to see my grandpa.

He wasn't in though then I went to cut & tidy my hair before heading home to prepare for Centro.

Okay to me this was a perfect day was 1 reason. That reason kept me grinning the entire trip.

You see, I was impeccably dressed. Groomed to the appropriate occassion.

My t-shirt was a white t-shirt with green ringers from Zara. My jeans were my 3-year old Levis engineered jeans, pretty worn and torn. My shoes were of the globe brand (skateboarding shoes) which were like heavy sneakers. And my pouch was a mini one from Quiksilver.

The entire outfit was a total fit.

The thing was I left in a huff because I was playing online card game before I sped off to temple.

My only accessories was a pen which I grabbed in a rush which was a JAL token pen from my US trip.

And the amusing matter was that the pen was a shade of green which matched the entire outfit.

I can't help grinning from time to time as I tagged along behind my momma.

My ENTIRE OUTFIT was the BEST LAST MINUTE IMPROMPTU attire.

I can't help praising myself okay .... I know some guys really bo chap their dressing but I'm very self conscious of my appearance and from the Zara tee and the Globe shoes that matched, I can't help it.

"Slaps myself with a big bottle of medicated oil"

Self-praise is well-deserved when I have not spend time with much of my friends anyway since they are all so busy digging a hole to entrenched themselves during NDP or still being mystified to the amazing brainwashing powers of our NDP fireworks.

Anyway, the only next living entity besides my xbox and my plush toys that can give approving praises is my mom who thinks that dye-motif sarongs and bandanas are still the "in" the thing, hence, I resort to shameless self-appraisal.

I'm just trying to humour myself before I go in Tekong hor. And yes I know.

Cheap thrill.

But that was a perfect sunday. Can't stand it lol.

A beautiful sunday,
Benjamin

P.S. I've develop a routine like an AI robot, I always blog everytime I jog my rounds ! And contrary to what my best friend says, I jog on a half-full stomach and I didn't get any "stitches".

Monday, August 09, 2004

Idol or Hero?

The clock is ticking.

1 more week before I head off to suffer. Mentally and physically challenging, a lot of my friends seem to have hopes for me go far.

As in not chao keng and go become an officer.

Skarly cannot make it.

I'm just going in there with an open mind, make new friends, learn new skills and do my best.

Slight digression here.

I apologize for my disorganized thoughts yesterday. I was a bit "high" and I want to thank EVA for everything. Muacks lao po.

Side joke. Don't think it's a scandal or I'll slap you with a beer bottle.

Okay back to army.

The thing about army is that you develop maturity there, you get to hear ghost stories and you do all the manly stuff.

Like how Tiger Beer Ladies come to pour beer for you or you order your privates (no pun intended) to wax themselves with Kiwi (the stuff you go polish ur leather shoes).

As scary or enlightening the stories are being told, I guess I will have to lead my own army life.

Not that I'm not patriotic but I chose to nap when the NDP is on.

But I didn't miss the other great entertaining show.

Singapore Idol !!!

I guess you would have either watch it or read about other blogger's comments on how some Singaporeans are deluded or talented.

I just felt the female judge, Florence Lian overdid the singaporean slang and I love how the last judge frowns or make a disapproving face. Ken Lim from Hype records.

And I rolled my eyes on how some people gunning for their 15 seconds of fame.

"I want a contract from MediaCorp!!!"

Please lor, you can't even dicate your words properly much less sing. What makes you think MediaCorp will hire you?

As weatherman/lady issit?

But I applaud you for your courage to make a fool of yourself on National TV.

Sad thing is, I'll miss Singapore Idol because of enlistment.

= (

Guess I'll have to sing in the shower with other 39 naked men and get the scrutinizing attention & comments from my 2nd Lieutenant.

So not Singapore Idol material but Singapore Hero material,
Benjamin

P.S. Just another slight diggression, I feel that going clubbing once or twice a month to let your hair down is quite theraputic. If you work in a stressful environment, my advice is to go often. Don't go overboard as you may get sianz easily.
Centro

Before I blog further, I just wanna say I'm a bit tipsy from a few drinks after Centro so I'm typing this in a stupor......

It's already like 3 am but was there since 9pm bah when the queue started forming.

Got to see the fireworks display while in the queue and the free tixs from tiffy becoz she is one of the show hair model.

By the way, Tiffy's hair was very nice. I like. She should wear bikini haha to model haha.

Eva called me along so I decided to go lor since I never go clubbing and I'm gonna lose my crowning glory soon so I dress a bit spiffy go dance dance shiok shiok enjoy.

All I know was that in the early hours before midnight, I was like wallpaper.

I was like the bag depot and table guarder as the girls go havoc the floor abit.

By then, I haven't drunk much except my complimentary vodka sprite and hip hop is like bleah.
I don't even have a hip hop mp3 on my laptop lor.

Then, jugs came in , we share the costs and then started taking sips.

I still think I was sober then but I have yet to visit the happening dance floor.

Oh by the way, it's my first time to Centro and the gals say that Sunday night is suppose to be Gay and Lesbian night but becoz of the event, the musik was hip hop.

But there were plently of gays and lesbians around but also got a lot of girls wor~~~

Some attached but some hang about in groups. I likesh = ]

I shall save my views about homosexuality for another when I'm more refreshed.

I digress, so there I was, being a bag & table guardian and someone from the table bought shots.

So i drank 2 shots and not that I got hyper lah but I got a bit high.

I say a bit hor. Not a lot.

I think my alcohol intake is okay just that maybe becoz I feel like liberating myself before 2 years of imprisonment, I decide to take to the dance floor.

So dance I did. Just so u know, Mr Ben is a Fido Dido. Ask Wen Jun.

If you don't know what is a Fido Dido, please refer to my quiktionary on the right links >>>

Okay anyway, I dance and dance.

Normally, at Zouk I dance about 20 mins then I stop liao but I kept going.

The gals stop and came back and dance again.

By the way, 6 gals were with me. Yan Wen, Eva, Yan Wen's cousin, Eva's childhood buddy, Yan Wen's cousin friend.

Don't ask me their names. They are in my hp.

So yah, I was dancing. And I think the spirits got to me.

So I guess I dance non stop for more than an hour bah because my thighs were getting cramps like after you had a long jog.

The thing is, I don't dance to hip hop music but the beats and the acoustics is just too good.

I was from a school band and I like the bass music beats.

And the variation how the deejay played it was pretty varied and just got to my head.

I think if any club got hip hop night, I will go fersure.

So around 245am, the gals got tired of the musik becoz the dj was pretty standard only.

Being a newbie, I felt the dj could be better but this is my first time listening to hip hop intensively. Maybe I got influence by the gals.

Anyway, we decided to disperse as the gals seem shacked and not that hungry.

I was contemplating going to dance alone but nada.

I remembering dancing alone on the floor without my gal buddies for like 20 mins.

Felt so lonely but didn't feel it becoz I was grooving. haha. The gals left me high n dry.

All said and done, I wanted to blog this immediately coz I think this has been a great night for me.

So much better than Zouk. Centro got more dance space and breathing space.

And the seats are so plushy. Must go again next time.

And I think I'm able to write so legibly because I edited a few times hor, but I was talking garblah to vernon and gwenne on msn.

Oh, I got new haircut too. Lemme take photos.

Okay I got blinded by my flashes. Uploading them now....




My new haircut !

Shots not well taken, lighting very bad, but I like how it was styled today = )

Oh also, before I went to Centro, I had a feel good day. Well tell you tmr!

I'm getting a bit hazy liao, better go lie down now.

Tata,
Benjamin

P.S. My contact lens never felt so comfortable in my entire existence. I never even used a single eyedrop !

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Boo to Parades

With the recent fuss of National Day always around the corner in late July and early August, all the local media can do is garble how special this year's National Day as compared to previous years.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a true blue (or is it red?) Singaporean and I thank it for giving me security, education and glorious fatty fusion cuisines.

I've even pondered to be a quitter (read last year's National Day rally I think), to get my degree, work a few years here and emigrate but that's too early to tell.

There's still family and we all know what big things Singapore has to offer to keep me entertained on their mini island.

(For those without a skeletal structure, please sense my sacarsm)

I mean look at it this way. I would gladly serve National Service becoz of our shortage of manpower.

I know I'm being put to good use somehow if need of war or when I'm trapped in a lift.

But, seriously.

Has anyone question why is there a need for a National Day Parade?

So much expense is placed into it. Loads of manpower, logistical consideration and tax payers money is spent on this one day on goodie bags, light sticks and fireworks that fritters after 30 seconds.

Call me a cynical anti-PAP youth or whatever but I just have this thought.

Why waste so much money on this faithful day? (Also note that they have lots of rehearsals and a trial parade).

I have a suggestion.

To celebrate August 9th, our liberation date, why don't we excel in doing what is really needed most.

Communal bonding.

People from different races interacting and getting to know one another better.

Networking session perhaps but it can be a day where effort is placed into enhancing relationships be it with colleagues or neighbours.

Take this current scenario:

At least 5,000 people are deployed to execute the National Day parade.

For what ? To show our neighbours like Malaysia, Indonesia or even USA on how strong our military is and how unified our multi-racial citizens are?

I guess there is no need for that as we have transformed tremendously for the past few decades thank you very much.

Instead, transfer all the funds and manpower to organize events where people can meet-up, chat and relax.

For example, our President can invite a few of his mates from wherever be it Suharto or Megawati to have a simple dinner and talk about bilateral ties or whatever shit politicians do like improving the number of dustbins around MRT stations or how to make the sky even more blue and haze-free.

To conclude, I pretty much loathe National Day Parade for what it stands for.

It might symbolize a unified nation but to think about practical costs, is it really that worth it?

So many people participating in the event complain and whine and antagonize the amount of waiting and trouble that have to go through.

It might be fanciful for small kids to look at fireworks and a parade to give him the impression of Singapore One United but we all know that Singapore has been beneficial to us with a sense of warmth and comfort.

That's what Civil & Moral Education in primary and secondary school is for, right ?

Don't get me wrong, I commerate special days like Aug 9th or my birthday (Aug 31st)[get the hint again].

But to me, National day parade is just so wrong.

Cynical nationalistic practicalist,
Benjamin

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Routine

I'm kinda settling down to a fixed routine.

Regular late evening jogs and staying away from fatty food, my only indulgence would be a slight sip of fizzy drink or bottled coffee.

Suprisingly, little or no contact with any friends might seem like a hermit but it's kind of refreshing somehow.

I've officially stayed away from using my mobile for more than a day or so.

So nice to have radiation frying my brain = )

In less than 10 days, a countdown for me kind of ensues.

It kinda sucks big time that my confinement period clashes with the olympics. Guess I'll have to wait another 4 years to catch the action.

I think I should rename my blog along the line of "Confessions of a Male Singaporean Shopaholic (MSS)".

Reasons being, I just saw another item that I would like to purchase. $89 I thinkesh.

Arsenal Home Jersey for 2004-2006. Would last me a good 2 years = ).

Get the hint peeps. My birthday falls on 31st august hor, so I most prob come out on the 1st or 2nd week of September, I expect showers of presents when I reach home.

Who am I kidding. All my frens are either shagging their girlfriend during their weekend break or working in banquet earning a quick buck.

It's kinda pathethic when ur bank account is barely 3 digits and your only form of window shopping is online shopping.

Speaking of online shopping, I have an ex-colleague who so adores A & F (Read abercrombie & fitch for those non-brand conformists) and she orders them through her niece studying there.

I have a mini shopping list of about $200 for A&F stuff for their new Summer 04 collection.

Guess that list will end up in the trash.

Come to think about it, most of my entries are either about shopping or about my pathethic life trying to have friends, be fit and get hooked up.

I guess I'm just another horny typical Singaporean teenager = )

And I wanted to talk about patriotism, waste of $ and manpower for National Day. I guess I'll get down to my whining in my next entry.

Counting down,
Benjamin

Friday, August 06, 2004

Let the entertainment begin

It's the me, myself and I campaign it seems.

Nobody to tag or talk for the past few days, my self-resort ways of keeping myself from dying of boredom is rather going very well thank you very much.

I think the motivation of going to army is very much there and I'm overworking my limpless body with a noon swim and a late evening run.

I just wanna get fit so I won't have to suffer.

Just to declare, I'm in the PTP batch which is the Physical Training progamme unfit aka obese aka skinny aka lazy peeps.

I failed 2 segments of my NAPFA so I didn't exactly got a silver.

Okay now that's out, you all can throw tomatoes at the weakling. Me.

"Shuns the tomatoes like Neo"

Okay now with the tomatoe bashing of the obese and unfit Ben is done, let me proceed on with the events of my day.

So in between the run and swim torture, I went to teach tuition and shopping.

As broke as I am like Becky Bloomwood (Read Sophie Kinsella's shopaholic series), I still venture out to the jungles of the retail amazon.

Yesterday, upon seeing the Tangs Sale on the newspaper, without further a due, I huff off with my NETS card to Expo to those big halls.

Horrors of horrors. It turned out I was a blind bat and the sale was at Suntec.

I never felt so dumb in my life.

There was a Giant (supermarket) sale but I avoided that. Me fighting with hordes of ah sohs isn't a pretty sight for discounted 50cents off Nutella.

It's all in the details baby. And it seems I didn't read the fine print of the ad.

Okay fine, the print was as big as font size 24. Read above where I told ya I was a stupid bat.

So today, after my swim (with a nice tan to boot = P), I went to Suntec and I just wanted to go see look only at the sale.

After all, I never heard C K Tang having a sale before. Never.

Robinsons, Metro or John Little, I can understand but C K Tang? This I had to see.

When I breeze past the entrance, I was astounded by the sight.

2 frigging big halls of 403 and 404 were filled with happy people grabbing and tugging $9 cookware and $15 bed linen.

The mens section was pathethic though with like a few racks and some clothing bins.

Then, I saw discounted prices of 70% and the shirts were so-so branded.

I couldn't resist and I dug like a mole through the different designs that were at the molehill in the sandpit of the clothing bin.

I guilt-ily got 3 t-shirts.

Talk about being broke and on a budget.

And honestly, I think that is and was, my second last shopping trip.

My last shopping trip is to NTUC or Shop n Save to get muesli bars or choco bars for camp.

Since I already got ALMOST all I need (or want) for the next 2 years or so, I guess I can finally start scrimping and saving.

Yes, I'm going to save.

And in order to kick away those shopping blues, I'm just going to keep fit and just exercise.

I'm trying to channel my energy from carrying shopping bags to carrying my gut around my neighbourhood while huffing and puffing.

Fair trade?

Trim and tanned ex-sale-a-holic,
Benjamin

P.S. I'm going running & swimming everyday till my army start, if any of my frens (that is if I have any) wanna tag along, that would be wonderful. You know my number = )