Project Rush

The last project proposal that I will ever complete in my last three years in Singapore Polytechnic.

And I did in usual fashion. Last minute.

Even though we planned out everything on the platter on which section (information) will be swallowed up and regurgitated out on the proposal, it only took until Friday before the first influx of vomit (rephrased and redrafted text) was emailed to me.

Hence, yesterday and this morning AM was torture for me. That is because for the past 16 hours, I have been rewording, reading and reviewing literature about biometrics which can get too technical and all so boring after the first opening paragraph and all you want to do is tune off.

But no, the report we had was quite well fished out where we built the skeleton and we intend to complete it. Felicia came over on Saturday, stayed for 2 hrs and Aaron came over to stay. It was only 5 am before I finally finished it. And I had to wake up at 6.15am to reach school so as to print it.

I woke Aaron up and after I prepared everything, he was still asleep at 7 am. What a dope !

Suprisingly, even though i had only 1 hour of sleep, I was able to be alert for the time I was at school until I reached home at 1 pm before I plonk into my soft coffin in bliss.

What a roller coaster ride since yesterday ! Coupled with the very fact I had just recovered and placed back on the fast track of project stress, is education worth living for ?

We study so hard, only to end up getting a piece of paper and start off at the bottom. I prefer the idea of starting off as an apprenticeship but no no no, the singapore system is all about academics, memory work and theories.

Although it is diverting off to another path now of creative thinking, is it a bit tad too little too late? I'm not slamming the government but everytime you make a move, you are always either late or just behind someone else.

When can we singaporeans, or even our ownselfs, revolutionize and set the bar ?

- Benjamin

Perks

Still slight sick, with a blocked nose, should recover by tonight unless some pigeon at my window passes me some deadly flu.

Before I go into detail the Singtel competition that I have entered, let me backtracked you a few days back.

I was sick but I had to go down to my school to report on the Courses and Careers Fair. It is an event where the school strips naked and begs for students to explore them and eventually choose them as their first choice.

SP did a fantastic job of stripping. We had the convention centre area, we had a student lifestyle festival, we had the school of busines tours, we had the innovex, we had to concourse and we had so many things for them to do and all of these prospective students were in awe.

I was interviewing some of them and some went to Ngee Ann Poly and Nanyang Poly. Note, I did not fabricate this. It was all entriely the students words.

"There were no lecturers at NP to answer any questions. All they did was throw brochures in front of my face"
"The students in NP were not helpful. Even though there was a CCF going on, they did not guide me the correct way and it was a dud event when I came."

End of quotes. This is just true testimony how SP takes care of their students. EVERYONE i interviewed were more than pleased that lecturers and staff were there to handle all their queries like job opportunities, cut-off points and student-lecturer relationships. I profess, I made the right choice coming here.

Okay back to the Singtel competition. DreamD8
It is reality - blog competition where the public votes and see how good you are as a dream date.
No prizes to those I know where I will end up. I'm too young and the only thing self-promoting is my personality, which isn't much.

Anyway, I'm in it for fun and hope to meet new people. Networking is the key world. I know I won't go anywhere near the prize money which is like S$8,000. The perks of it all are the fringe benefits that you get from joining such a sponsored competition.

In my hands right now is a webcam, a free phone line, free modem and a free dial-up line. Next week, I would be getting a MMS enable phoned. All these are fully sponsored of course but I have to return them in like 3 or 4 months later. I already hear the "Chey!!!" from your side of the computer. But you must admit, these goodies are quite drool-able.

Another part worth mentioning is the Survivor part of this show where the person with the lowest votes will get the boot off the temptation island only filled with measely $8,000. All the other 19 contestants along with me looks game for fun. All of them looks like a cheery bunch. You can see them all on Feburary 14th. DreamD8

Was chatting online with some of the partipants on MSN messenger. Found out that most of us live in east and some are virgoes. Only time will tell what might happen to us next since they say there will be a host, Beatrice Chia, to stir up the pot a bit. For publicity purposes of course.

- Benjamin

Good News, Bad News

Good news is, I got called up and made the final 10.

Bad news is, I'm sick. Really sick, I've never been as sick as this before. BAD BAD FLU.

I've been dripping mucus the whole day. Throat went rusty in the late afternoon. Bad flu sneezers start occuring the whole day. I was suppose to rest but I had to cover the story of Courses and Career Fair in my school. Not in the mood to typed it right now due to hazy medicine and not so uplifting experience as a journalist.

I have used up almost closed to 2 boxes of 200 ply sheets of Softex tissues and still counting. Keep sweating on my forehead and I want to recover soon. A project report is due on Monday morning and I'm taking a break by typing here. A temporary respite to the research online and the compilation I have to do in the next two hours or so.

Don't know how long will I last with the medicine. When I start typing gibberish, I know its time.

- Benjamin

P.S. Don't come near me if you see me. I'm like Oscar the Grouch. With tissues.

Internship placement

Recently, I have been very curious where of I am going to work as a slave for 3 months with peanuts pay.

Final year DMC students have been lurking around the lecturers corridors to jump out from the unsuspecting corners to suprise/give a heart attack to our internship placement lecturer, Mr Ang, so as to choke him until he reveals where he has placed them.

Apparently, EVERYONE i know already knows where they are heading. Except me. Not that i am not not interested where I am going to be placed but I cannot seem to find the right corner to suprise Mr Ang. He somehow has developed an innate ability to avoid my shadow.

I am truly tempted to call or leave an email but it seems so impersonal like i'm a harried bunny who is so impatient that he wants to know the type of carrot he is gonna swallow. I'm ain't no bunny but a calmed and composed tortoise who cannot seem to keep up with the Ang shadow. Deep inside, the heart thumps for the hidden knowledge of where I'm gonna be placed, is breaking me apart softly with anxiety.

My friends have been placed into great attachment companies. Felicia is going to Huntington Communications, an established PR firm. Aaron is going to Maybank Corporate comm department.

I wish I knew mine. Other coursemates are heading to Mediacorp publishing houses, Bates Advertising, MCDS, MITA, SIM, Bates, Gosh, BP and NIE. All of them look pretty good placements that I would love to go of course.

If I end up at a sucky organization, I could either whine about it or I just live and make do with it.

If I ever whine about it, I can put up a very STRONG case to compare with people who went to better internship companies than me with the basis of not only my results, my extra cirriculum activities AND my extra extra cirriculum actitivties related to what I have done. I'm pretty sure what I have done so far can qualify me as top 10 student because I have basically multi-task and take on every possible role I could have in school.

School Newsletter photographer, School Newspaper Journalist, helped freelance desktop publishing on a school booklet plus yearbook designer, director of a course video, public relations co-ordinator cum events management planner for my academic club and leader of a 2nd placed final year project of an integrated communications programme. I've even been on 3 student exchange programmes and have been a hardworking student. Only thing missing to make me robo-student is that I have not gone for any overseas community projects to help the needy.

If the above is not good enough reason, I don't know what will. People have called me names. Freak, Super "Eng" guy and Superman. It is a wonder how I could manage all of the above added on with school projects and CAs in my early poly years.

IF I get a lousy internship placement, I can also choose to accept fate as it is. Just work, slave and essentially try to gather as much as experience you can from that place even though rumours are that you basically charge handphones for the people there, pour coffee and photocopy your glutes during your free time.

Nonetheless, I will make my job of shredding paper as useful as possible by reading all the confidential documents and telling all their competitors. What a hoot to boot if that happens !

For better, or worse. I still don't know where I'm gonna end up. My curiosity has reached its limit and yes, its boiling towards the direction of Mr Ang. Now, if only i know which pillar is he hiding behind in.

- Benjamin

P.S. Thank you for hearing me grunt about my misery of pre-ITP. Thanks goes out to Wen Jun for being my listening ear.

Photos of my new hair that was taken at the interview place just now. It is suppose to be medium brown but nobody notices it, i think it is too mild to be seen perhaps.

The butterflies were trying to escape through my eyeholes

Colgate advertisement that never saw the light of day

Interview

Well, just an hour ago, I was being interviewed to be a dream date.

You must be puzzled. Let me fill you in. 2 months back, I stumble upon a competition called "My Dream Date". It is co-organized by Singtel and Optus (Australian Biggest Telecommunication Provider). It is a blog competition where the public have to vote for you to stay in the competition.

It being a reality show and me a shameless hussy with exhibitionist tendencies, I registered.

Back to the present, I was asked questions like these and my responses were not so good in my opinion. You see, I was selected from among 700 Singaporean contestants and I was 1 out of 21 shortlisted. It will be narrowed down to 10. My chances are slim I tell you after what I went through an hour ago.

You see, I somehow get to this "mode" when I meet strangers who are older and more mature than me. The organizer was asking me questions and although deep inside, I was not composed and frantic to answer, on the exterior, I mustered the most fluent answers I can give. I feel my responses were disorganized, out of place and did not fully answer the question.

I have a bad habit. I always lose my train of thoughts as I always try to push my point or my view towards a certain question until I forgot what the question was.

Question: What is your opinion on sex?
Answer: I think sex exists in many different forms. Mentally and physically. The physical sex as we all know are done by everyone throughout the world and ........ and I strongly feel that protection should be used at all times.

I was not asked this question but I ALWAYS lose what I was initially suppose to answer. I'm afraid next time my potential wife wants me to have babies, the reply would be:

"Babies? Sure, I would like for us to have a kid or two. We can convert the study into a nursery and then paint the whole room ourselves. Won't that be great? I need to remove the computers from the study first of course and I don't want the kids to be electrocuted. Speaking of which, I need to get a laptop .... yadda yadda.

I don't think I have any syndrome or weird speaking disease but next time, anybody ask me a question, please be aware of the following.

I will answer you question, in the first 2 sentences. After which ignore me because I have become totally irrelevant and incoherent to what you were asking. Just keep on nodding your hand as though you agree with me. After which, you ask me another question to throw me off.

Going back to the interview, another reason why I cannot get in is because I think I portrayed myself too arrogantly when I was asked to pitched myself to the viewers out there if I made it to the finals. Then again, it might be taken in as confident.

Argghhh ! I seriously want to participate in this because it looks fun and entertaining, I just don't know whether I survive the 50% cut. Only time will tell. 7 pm Friday. If I don't get in, I wish all the best to my buddy, Wendy, who is confident of her place in it already.

I sound so pessimistic about my chances. I want to downplay myself because if I don't get in, at least I already knew I gave up long ago. I'm a pyscho. Bite me. = P

- Benjamin

Hope

I did something really silly today.

I made an effort to queue up in the endless snake of hopeful singaporeans heartlanders in the dreams of the 10 million jackpot.

Not that I expect to win any of it but while I was in the queue, I looked at all the faces. Aunties with sagging eyebags and droopy chins with large jade bangles, young executives in formal attire shading the boxes discreetly and the Filipino maids who are being nannies to their employees kids, chattering away in a language foreign to me.

There are so many different personalities out there but all of them are in the search of that hope. The hope to win it big. To have a complete makeover, to establish themselves in Shenton Way and to provide material comforts to the family back home.

If hope was suppose to be optimistic, it wasn't showing gamely on the faces of these queuers. Strangely enough, everyone queuing was basically frustrated or impatient, or the fact that all of them look forlorn, or just plain embarrassed of their prescene here to hit the jackpot like everyone else who was equally frustrated, impatient, forlorn and embarrassed. I felt the same way too, I didn't belong here. I just answered the call of my Dad who asked me to "try".

Try as I may, shading 7 out of 45 boxes, what are the chances of me getting the Toto jackpot prize of S$10 million? My chances are like 1 in 10 million but my dad wanted me to take a shot. The auntie, the executive and the maid also wants that shot, that hope, that dream of 10 million bucks. Ever wondered if people did not hope and know the harsh realities of life, what would be life after then when hope is nonexistent?

There would be no more gambling, no more stock market speculations, no more miracles at hospitals. Hope, is the very essence inside of everyone that people draw upon on, but discard when they get lucky in scenarios. Hope is everything to many but in fact, is just a term that reality drags upon and which people pin their expectations on. They can possess all hope in a minute, and lose all hope in a second.

Today, I got a reality check. Friends of close friends that I know of are getting attached like runaway couples without my knowledge. It just reminds me of the misery of what I have not fully experienced yet. Not that i am depressed but I question myself with "What ifs?" towards relationships, and then you will wonder what have I been doing wrong.

I know the hope of being loved by someone is all decided by fate. But I cling on to the hope that fate gets to me faster than those 7 winning numbers that will appear on my Toto ticket.

Money, not love, can be won by a $3.50 piece of paper. Because all it possess is hope.

- Benjamin

P.S. I dyed my hair brown today, it ain't obvious but I will provide photos tomorrow. I hope you won't think it's ugly.

Blonde-blog

After a zombifying sunday, it was a funeralistic monday followed by a mundane tuesday.

Usually, I don't normally blog about what happens to me but since it has been a pretty boring day for me and the very fact that my brain still smells of microwave remains, I shall be blonde-blogging for today.

The definition of a blonde-blog is a blog where people write their daily activities, like eating a salmon burger to visiting the handicap loo at 2 pm and expressing their emotions on their blog, like I feel like eating a salmon burger to I had this curious desire to find out whats the difference between a normal loo and a handicapped loo.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you my blonde-blog day.

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So today, I woke up from a bad dream. It was really bad. It was so bad I couldn't remember what I dreamt. So i went back to sleep again.

I woke up again this time and found that I was late for school. I contemplated over being late and 5 more minutes of bedhaven. I wasted 5 minutes thinking. I went to bathe.

I left my house and press the elevator button. So exciting. I wonder how the elevator works. Before I could think, I reach the ground floor. I must read up on how elevator works or I swear I will climb stairs. I live on the 12th floor.

I was in school 5 minutes late. I wrote a note to myself that I should not waste 5 minutes to think whether I should sleep anot. Instead, I should spend 5 more minutes sleeping so I will not be late again. I was so tired but the lecturer kept on droning about etiquette.

Dinner etiquette ...blah blah .... dinner fork .... blah blah .... eat with your mouth full .... blah blah ... vomit politely ... blah blah ... zzz ...I wanted to sleep for 5 minutes but couldn't. I felt that my legs were too cold. So i stood up. And sat down. I felt a little warm then.
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((((((((( Note: I'm really being a super blonde guy here , I can't believe I'm writing this but then again, I'm so bored and I apologise if this is a waste of your time because I'm writing what happened to me today with loads of exaggerations. I should continue ... ))))))

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Lesson ended. I went to the computer lab to do research on my NCT project. Ended up sleeping in front of the computer. I wonder will I die of radiation. I use my handphone alot. I must go to the doctor tommorrow. I need to scan my brain. Incidentally, my research project is about biometrics which has to do with fingerprint and eye scan.

I wonder if it can scan my brain. Can save money what, must remember to do research before administrator logs me out. I wonder why I booked the computer for 1 hour but I get logged out so fast. Must be my brain got microwaved for one hour and I wasn't aware. I need my doctor. I wanted to use my handphone to book an appointment. I was scared of my handphone as my brain was damaged enough from its radioactive waves. I used my friend's handphone instead. I was so happy I was so smart that I booked my appointment.

I got one more hour to spent until next lesson. I went to play badminton with Richmond. He is my academic club's best pal. He played so lousy today, he kept hitting the shuttlecock over the net. He is so stupid. Don't even know how to play. I kept hitting the feathers under the net. I score so many points. I must tell Richmond that badminton is like soccer, must score under the net.

After badminton, so tired. I sweat until I felt like a monkey. I almost climbed a tree but I didn't. I was late for class. During class, we talked about the use of emails. The textbook reading said that email was evil and wasted alot of peoples' time. I disagreed with the author and my classmates who preferred the days of snail mail.

I feel that emails on how to increase my penis size and me winning a free trip to Nigeria was good. I supported the use of email. I cannot believed that they would support snail mail. I am going to call SPCA for animal abuse. I think they were jealous because they did not have as much spam as me and they have lots of slave snails at home.

I told them I responded to all my spam. I never got a reply back but I was hopeful that my penis would be enlarged and my air tickets to Nigeria was being booked as we speak. I could see they were so jealous. Like green-eyed monkeys or snails. I should spank them till their asses turn green too. Wait a minute. I don't support animal abuse. I only advocate them to people. I don't practice what I preach. I'm so clever. = )

Then, I came home to have a nice shower. It was so invgiorating. I should shower more. Like 4 times a day. This is because I read from my SMS that I need to take care of my private parts. Bird flu is rampant nowadays. I want to praise the person who sent me the SMS to tell everyone to change their underwear at least 4 times a day to protect yourself from bird flu. Prevention is better than cure. I change mine at least 6 times a day.

I need to log off now, I need to change my thong.
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Okay end of blonde-blog. Give me comments on how I wrote. I was bored and being an ass. = P

- Benjamin

Zombified

Before I get to the gist of today's post, I want to apologise for my primary school grammatical and spelling errors in my last few posts, which I promise you that I will try to polish it up because an aspiring writer must have good english , so there.

Okay, I have had a close affair with Mahjong recently. Because on CNY, I had to study for my SATs and filled with exciting orange exchanging days, no mahjong was on the agenda as we cannot get khakis.

I got my fill of mahjong in just one day. The last 24 hours to be precise.

24 hours ago, I arrived at my granduncle's place and I had complained to my father on my lack of touching mahjong tiles and so he propose to the rest of the usual mahjong panel to let the next generation have a taste of what it's like. I was placed on the perch, faced with these 4 vultures discerning my every strategic move at the mahjong table. Although I played only one round, which is about 2 hours or so, I had practically drained myself trying to counter think what the rest of my aunts and granduncle were doing at the table.

In the midst of the game, I got called by my cousins to play mahjong. And there I went.

3 more rounds, which totally seeped whatever ectoplasm that is in my active brain and i knew i became a zombie.

7 am, I had to do something online at 9 am. I was in big trouble but I couldn't think straight. I pushed it to 1 pm and bonk! I went to sleep. It is about 2.50 pm now, I had barely 3 hours of sleep in total and i'm famished.

Horrid Hari Raya Haji to me for a Marvelous Mahjong Maniac.

- Benjamin

Kids

Have not been blogging because nothing much has happened around here.
School takes up most of the scheduled and being shipped from left to right of Singapore to become recipents of red packets is what I can make of this week.

So, what more to talk about is the people i met along the way. One prominent group are kids.

Most of the kids are either my cousins, nephews or nieces.

Two in particular are brothers, and boy do they irritate me to the core.

I don't fancy the idea of spending my time with people younger than me than a decade because we have no common ground to have a normal conversation and often, I have to resort myself to babytalk to smoothen up these kids when I'm forced to be stuck in a room where the more mature adults are having their usual gossipy session on which uncle bought a new car or which far distance relative of theirs got testicular cancer.

Hence, the usual tactic of mine is to be a "monster" scaring away the kids with my antics, playing peek-a-boo and suddenly appear out from a HDB wall with my hands like a clawing cheetah on its hunt. This is normally followed by screams and running footsteps from the kids. The shrill of those screams are so piercing that I consider wearing ear plugs. On the other hand, I won't be able to hear a car aiming for me if I cross the roads. Decisions decisions.

Anyway, not to sidetrack, the 2 kids kept wanting my attention even though "clawing period" and you how kids are, they just only one thing. Attention. They got my attention alright. And my irritation to REALLY claw them after a 2 hour session.

Now, I don't really love kids or really hate them. I don't coo or crinkle at the sight of cute newborns or spit and vomit at any passing strollers. I just have the "shrug shoulders" attitude of their existence. Babies are here for a reason. Cause and effect of having sex > pregnancy > 9 months later > baby.

All my relatives say i'm good with kids. My destiny, my affinity, many of them commented that they were willing to invest funds for me to start a childcare centre. All I could do was just not in assentment even though deep back in my mind, I was just being myself. Maybe I was really a kid at heart, but the adult in me is trying to get out and be serious.

I guess the age of maturity when the adult in me finally takes a place in the core of my brain and the child in me gets demoted to the lower levels of uranus. But the adult in me know one thing, I can't stand the notion of changing diapers yet, so I guess I'm not ready to be a father yet. I do not even dare to look at my own shit much less the shit that my child will create.

Until then, the kid in me will live reality as it is. The expiry date of it is when I reach the age of 25.
Maturity is like shit, it has to come out some day.

- Benjamin

Second Gear

Well, limbo is gone and have shifted the gearstick.

Once again, the busy schedule starts piling in from all directions. Project deadlines are suddenly not around the corners anymore but creeping and chasing you like a second shadow. Tutorial assignments are in check and they are due for inspection. Ah, the life of a 3rd year.

Well, it is barely only 4 weeks before I am rid of the school where we spent more than 2.5 years in.

I don't loathe the school really. In fact, I like the idea of going to school. Call me a geek, nerd, whatever. It has been an enriching experience no matter how insignificant it is I have to travel 2 hours to reach there for an hour lecture only to find out that it is cancelled.

I'll miss it frankly, all the hectic life and you know that there is always a 2 month holiday ahead. You will never be afraid to fail because there is always make-up CAs and sub-paper to back you up. All that security will vanish once I leave this humble abode at Dover. School of Business has always been a second home to me.

Imagine all the friends that I will never ever get to see again. People that I have met along the way and will never really have a sincere farewell. Just an adrupt abscene in their life, never to be seen again and down the road 2 years from now, once familiar faces will be a forgotten figure.

Ahhh, the memories. Not to be illusioned by the future but for the present at the moment, I got a Pes 'B' grading so that means I can do National Service and not be banished to do clerical work. It is 2.5 years ahead in army, i don't want to waste it by doing nothing.

The anticipation of going to Army is similar to when I was going to Polytechnic. The Poly's openhouse is like the Army's CMPB brainwash centre, promoting how good it is, and I truly believed I was brainwashed by both these entities and everytime I try to remember, I pee in my pants so yes, I believe in the good of Poly and Army.

Another door closing in this chapter of my life soon and another is about to open. More stories, more whinings and more insights. I should actually write this later when I have finish my internship but hell, I wanna write it now. It just put things more into perspective as I can ponder on the past, present and future.

I believe in the good of Poly and Army. I believe in the good of Poly and Army.

- Benjamin

P.S. I almost peed while writing this post. Ironically, the last two posts have been with regards to golden showers. I blame the downpouring showers of the weather. I believe in the good of Poly and Army.

Limbo

After the festive period of 4 days, the joy lingers around you and like you are in limbo between happiness and the next munch of CNY goodies and wham, Monday hits you and suddenly, you wake up from a great dream into a nightmarish world.

Before I go into details, let me rewind.

Last Saturday, I did my SATs. It has been raining dog, cats and mice and it seems that the rain just wouldn't even spare midgets like me. Having had to reach Expo at 8 am in the wee morning, I did my last minute studies of the format the night before which I had to entertain guests aka my cousins and my preperation is like going out in the rain with only wellington boots naked.

Pigs. Yup, i felt like a wet pig. At the expo, 2500 students crammed into the exhibition hall to do a mind boggling test. What made matters worst was many administration problems as this was the first time SATs is taking on a large scale and it only officially started at 11 am. 3 freaking hours wasted seating and waiting.

Worst thing was the weather. Even though it was freezing inside, it was no respite as there was no heater and everyone was shivering and grabbing themselves to gather warmth. Luckily, I brought a jacket. Unluckily, I did not bring tissue because my jacket did not gather enough warmth as I expected because my nose kept dripping like a tap on the test paper. Yes, have your vivid imagination. Remember not too vivid or you will puke on your keyboard.

It was ONLY finally done at 2 pm. My stomach was growling, my body temperature was declining, my head was spinning and I know for certain that the English section for SATs is pretty screwed.

Sigh, I might be revisiting this pig hell hole again only I think hell is better at least I can burn to death than freeze.

So after the SATs, I was relatively on a limbo, hanging by the thread of laziness and my backbone was as slithery as the rattlesnake, refusing to move, hibernating from the horrid climate out there as it continued pouring on even as we speak till today.

God must be angry even though I don't believe in God but I think that the clouds have been storing too much evaporation and finally think it is time to urinate.

I miss the sun. Bring it back to me bonnie, or I make sure I will flood you with my urine.

- Benjamin

Jaded

As it turns out, Chinese New Year is a dud. Waking up in the morning, receiving guests, it was wonderful seeing relatives after one year has past and how all their kids have grown to climb over my head, throw my stuff around and wrecking my room but I take it all in stride. Kids are kids after all.

Back to why I believe CNY is a dud for me, i know i ain't old and stuff but CNY has come to a time where getting hong baos, having stomachache after steamboat and juggling mandarin oranges is the norm. As usual, i take that all in stride as 75% of the population wore red gloriously getting their luck to come by and visit them on the first day of the CNY whereas the other 25% of the S'pore chinese population are wearing red undergarments quietly getting their luck through the Toto and 4-D tickets that they buy.

It has come to a point where CNY has little value for me. Beside meeting all my family and stuff, it was gratifying to know how others are doing and how miserable I am at being single, scrawny and stared at. Because I was sporting a Beckham hairstyle whom i was NOT trying to imitate but was doing in the name of fashion because short hair is kewl and everyone at my grandfather's place tease me.

Last year, I had dragonball hair. Yesterday, I had pointy Beckham hair. Next year, I will have botak hair (army). I'm just like standing on a podium, waiting for 10 Simon Cowell personalities Auntie to gossip about and will away their CNY frivoulously.

I don't even count the money in my Hong Baos like I usually do with relish in my past few years where I tore up the nice red packaging and see how much did a particular auntie gave me. Yesterday however, I have kept all my hongbaos in a box and hid it from myself. I ain't superstituous or stuff but red packets were suppose to represent the blessings of relatives and the value inside had relatively no value.

Today, CNY is about competition on which bloodkin was more "richer", rather superficial if you tell me but I am looking at this matter very superficially too. I vow that I will not use the money until I need it urgently or I have to put it in the bank to accumulate the miserly interest. I always keep my vows.

It is just pretty sucky to celebrate Chinese New Year (CNY) and then in a matter of hours, you have a big SAT test. I am fully not prepared but out of 1600, i guess I will get around 1200. I have hope. Hope that luck from the hongbaos work.

I will conclude CNY to 10 reasons of why celebrating Chinese New Year is like being on the Miss World paegent. There is no better way to express it.

10. You don new nice clothes for CNY
Particpants of Miss World don new nice gowns for CNY for their first time too.

9. You go around shaking hands with everyone during CNY
Participants of Miss World goes around shaking hands with any random passerby, whether they have SARS or not, they still do it.

8. Your family gather around on one faithful day of CNY to celebrate.
Family members of participants of Miss World gather around at one location to celebrate their daughter's crowning.

7. You wish everyone Happy New Year.
Participants of Miss World bless everyone with World Peace.

6. You have to act nice to all the cousins you don't like.
Participants of Miss World have to resist clawing their counterparts.

5. You wish to have luck for the rest of the year.
Participants of Miss World only want luck for themselves and not for the rest.

4. Chinese New Year is all about money.
Miss World is not all about money. It is about money, fame, glory, beauty, and sleeping with the judges.

3. You put on a fake smile in front of everyone.
Participants of Miss World went to surgically enhance their fake smiles for everyone.

2. Everyone eats loads of rubbish like crackers, roasted pork (bak kwa) and cookies for CNY.
Participants of Miss World avoid these rubbish but go for Slim 10 and Extrim.

1. Parents dread the day when CNY approaches.
Parents dread the day when their daughter gets crowned Miss World and she gets to find out she was adopted.

- Benjamin

P.S. I sound like an antagonist. I'm not really. I am really happy-go-lucky type of guy. After CNY that is.

Steamboat

As expected, there was reunion dinner that was eaten. It seems that it is a chinese tradition to have steamboat. Thinking about it, there never was such a tradition.

It was some rich people who like their food soggy because their seafood should be placed in salty stock like the sea they originate from and hence steamboat. It is now unavoidable to eat sea cucumber, cuttlefish, prawns and abalone in a steamboat.

You all know how weird we Chinese people are, we believe luck comes from red underwear and burning paper actually makes your dead ancestors rich. So, besides steamboating, we have a mini bbq grill around the steamboat to add variety to the way we cooked it. So, we eat barbequed sea cucumber, barbequed cuttlefish, barbeque prawns and barbeque abalone. You can imagine it is a season to get fat and MCs from the doctor.

The Chinese New Year this year is very auspicious to some people. Falling on Thursday and Friday, they can avoid work and officially have a 4 day vacation, which most take the opportunity to go overseas as a reason so as to avoid giving hongbaos to people. Smart ploy .....

Since I'm on the receiving end for the past 18 years of my lifetime, I wonder when will I be a giver. When is the proper age of marriage for me? I'll take the journey of self-discovery and take events as it comes. Chinese New Year is a period of time where you question yourself like the one above. This is because you put yourself through two days of torture by receiving goodwill from your uncles and aunts, you also receive discerning remarks and probing queries about how you've been.

I have compiled 4 embarrassing questions/stupid & dumb comments and my reply from my past Chinese New Years. They are as follows:

4. Ben, you've grown taller each year.
Reply: Duh ..... I can see for myself.

3. Ben, where is your girlfriend ?
I considered whether to say yes or no, because both have it perks and reprecussions. If i say yes, they will ask me her family background, blood type and the type of toilet paper she uses. If i say no, they will ask me whether I'm gay, looking for a gal who must be perfect or whether I'm gay. I always say no, and my curt reply is still finding lah .... and I slap them on the head with a steamboat pot if they ever question my sexuality.

2. How is your studies?
Reply: Yeah, finishing soon. this will entail another question. So going army soon lah, going to become botak leh, followed by giggles. I can only restrain myself with the steamboat ladle.

1. Where is your brother?
Foreword: my brother has this bad tendency of coming to any function late. It has been this case for 7 over years, what made them think this will change. Reply: Don't know, coming later. (As if I am a GPS monitor)

I have gotten so much feedback from my relatives on how I have grown, matured, developed and looked. Chinese New Year essentially is like a Miss World Paegent for teenagers like me. You get grilled questions on what have you done for the past year and how your looks are. Your aunties sit at the steamboat table and using their chopsticks, they wave at you and critique your every feature aka Antonio Banderes in "Are you hot?".

I just hope I can quickly grow out of this phase at get married. I don't mind being generous and give hell notes to my young ones and avoid the glare and questions from watchful aunts.

Chinese New Year is becoming more jaded for me. I heck care about how much I reap in, I am immuned to the goodies on offer, I am aghasted at the soft drinks poured for me. I just want to get it over and done with.

When did Chinese New Year become so difficult? Sigh.

- Benjamin

P.S. I just cannot imagine the next two days. Additionally, to add to the misery, I have to study for my SATs which falls on a saturday at 8 am in the morning and my prepration as of now stands at 15%.

Chalet

First things first, Happy Birthday to Felicia, my classmate and gal buddy who is there to hear me whine and stop me when I get too intellectually crappy for her.

Last Sunday, went over to Felicia's chalet, it was her 21st birthday party and everyone she knew I was there. I was like the only person not connected to her groups of friends aka Friendster and I mostly had to entertain myself with whoever was there initially which was Aaron.

I was the friendly one because I tried to interact with her different group of friends but you know how acquaintances are, a few questions and a yes and a no, the conversation gets awkward. That's how chalet parties are when someone invites different groups of people to congregate for a reason and when two cliques don't know one another, there will be like some perimeter when cliques will acknowledge invisibly and just keep to themselves.

In the end, I tried my best to chat but as usual, ended up at the BBQ pit. I do not declare myself an expert at fanning or cooking food but everytime I end up at the pit, the person cooking before me always complain and whine that they don't know how to cook corn/chicken/satay, especially they don't know when it is "okay" to eat.

For me, cooked means overcooking the food until something black appears. That is an okay sign of the food, "Okay, i'm ready to give some people bad stomachache." That is why I avoid BBQ food.

I barely had hours to sleep as I slept at 4 am on Sunday and woke up at 7 to rush for school, felt proud of this self-determination that I did not want to skip lessons no matter how unimportant they are. Well, it order to overcome this no-skipping rule, I had tortured my body that had earlier played vigouros badminton to my body becoming depleted because it did not rest well.

I ached. Thus, I didn't blog as I spend my whole day yesterday, sleeping in wonderland.

Something weird happened on Sunday too. Out of no reason, I went to gamble on Soccer. I'm not those gambling fanatics on soccer but I occassionally play mahjong for fun. As I'm anti-Manchester united and an avid Arsenal fan, I bought that Arsenal will win Aston Villa. My odds were doubtful as Arsenal was playing away and Aston Villa was in good form at home.

I did not know at the score at all as being at a chalet on Sunday, you are so distanced from any newspaper, internet or even TV news. With that 3 hours of sleep, I dreamt of something weird but I could recall that Arsenal won 2-0. It was freaky that I was dreaming of soccer because I never do and truth to behold, when I picked up the New Paper on Monday noon, the scoreline was REALLY 2-0. Freaky !

I don't consider myself a pyschic though. If you cannot dream about the future, you ain't a pyschic because all your mind is changing your frequency to tune yourself to radio waves. Like me, my brain changes frequency to accept radio waves.

- Benjamin

P.S. By the way, I won the soccer bet. Wasn't much but was just a test of luck and estimation on strength of the teams. Kept playing gin (a card game) with Aaron, and kept winning. Haha. Photos of the chalet below.

My very close classmate of mine, Zalinah and in her hand, the book of answers

Felicia there in black, Aaron in the front, Azlina on the far right. All classmates of mine.

My Brother

I just had to dedicate a post to my brother.

Mark is 6 years older than me, my only sibling and a tease to boot. He did not fare well in the academic field but he was a hardworking fella with those strong friendship ethics and that is why he was a prominent figure wherever he worked.

My relationship with his has been cordial. Since young, I did not spend much time with him as he was one of those few pioneer ah bengs. Dyed hair, sharp combs, late night homecomings and part time job hopper, he has seen much of the dark side of society by the age of 18.

Luckily, he did not fall into the entrapment of secret societies but he was bold and dare to try new things like dying his hair blue just before new year and my mother disapprove it as she was a traditionalist back then. That was like in 1996 or so.

My brother was a big flirt. He has a way with girls and can bring like 2 different girls home every week. I will not go to what explicit details back then as my memory is still vague because all of this was like in the late 90s where I was busy doing secondary 2 streaming.

At present, he is engaged to a wonderful eccentric gal, who is known as my sister in law. Mark and her have a playful relationship and they loved one another. They are already married under the eyes of the law last year May but will only get married this November because both of our families had a grandparent passing away. Note: Need to find a girl to bring to the wedding dinner. Need galfriend by then or die because of embarrassement.

Back in his ah beng days, he was defiant, rude and threaten to leave home to my parents. He has changed for the better now and brings my parents out to dinner now and then and they have a close knit relationship now. He also treats me better now, more concerned about what I do like getting my driving license.

After our badminton lunch, I told him about my situation of a makeshift foldable bed and a lack of tall mirror in my room. He was gladly willing to sponsor my expenditure at Ikea and yes, I love him for being my financial supporter and a great brother all together.

My brother, Mark. I know you will never get to see this but you are the best brother I ever had. (not because you are my only elder brother).

- Benjamin

P.S. I never get mushy over this family stuff. Don't know what overwhelm me to write this stuff.

And also before I forget, a rare picture of my family with my brother in it.

I had a bad feeling that I was about to be mutilated by the koalas

Badminton

Yesterday after the meat fest, I had to head someone to kill those fats.

Barely awake at 9am, I had to halt my father to wait for me so I can accompany him to the badminton hall. He plays badminton like a sunday religion but still, whenever he enters a place, the tummy will greet the entrance first.

Allow me to pack you with some details first. I'm not really a very sporty person as I have little stamina but I have been training regularly whenever time allows. Badminton is a sport that I play on and off, not really excellent but so-so. I got a shock of my life when I went to the hall today. You could say "sport shock".

Badminton I believe was my best sport ever. I started out warm-up rounds with my father and wow, they kept making me run back and forth. For the first 15 minutes, I exerted all I could for the past energy that has been stored up since I last played badminton a year ago. It seems that I was a failure as I always can't seem to hit the cock.

Then, my father's buddies came over and he trained me. He would shoot far shots for me to return and I had to run very far back. It seems my basics were all wrong when I self-trained as everytime a far shot comes towards you, you have to retreat so that when you receive it, you would have more energy as your posture is more stable.

Barely 30 mins later, exhaustion took over and I felt giddy. I could not believe the standard of myself compared to others. I knew I was a bad sportsman but that bad ? Sigh.

My brother, came 30 mins later to whack the discpline out of me as he teased me with his nifty moves and all I could do was stand in awe at his prowess even though he did not trained for the last 4 years or so. By the way, he was a school badminton champion and it seems a skill you have is a skill you will have forever.

Badminton blood is in my family I guess, I could play badminton as a novice amateur I guess as I could still throw in some smacks and receives here and there. At the end of the day, it was a great family together session I felt as my father, my brother and me never got around doing anything together. This is a first in my family history books for a long long time.

- Benjamin

P.S. It seems that I have the blood of a blogger.

Meat

I have the infamous chicken flu. Nope, I'm not suffering from any disease but it seems that I went on a mad dash craze on meat today.

Lunch was a fairly simple meal of having meat balls at Ikea, before proceeding to Lau Pat Sat for $30 worth of Satay and then finally to Cafe Cartel where I eat three quarters of the breaded chicken.

I'm bloated with meat dna. I'm sure I have put on at least 500 grams through todays ordeal.

Well, something interesting happened today. As I was covering the story about SP students at Lau Pa Sat doing some entreprenurial selling at "The Mission" selling satay, I took photos with the two funniest TV personalities.

Sharon escaped her satay jaga duties to be with me

The oil on her face superglued me for this shot

We call upon the gods of satay to bless thy everyone

They were very friendly and so was Irene Ang even though I did not had a chance to take a photo with her. Celebrities are indeed celebrities, they had to busy themselves appeasing agitated customers who queued for an hour to only end up not being entitled for their abalone, they had to curfew some fans to sign their autographs, they had to slave over the hot grill and serve overpriced satays AND they had to fend off competition who were trying to grab their customers from Jeff Wang and Sharon Au duo.

It was a glib show to watch and I truly enjoyed myself watching the debacle of wit and humour being displayed. I betrayed SP though as I faltered over to the NYP to get their satay with their attactive goodie bag and lucky draw chances. I like lucky draws. At least I know i stand a chance.

Anyway, I felt I had a good deal out of it and there was NO queue after all. I guess a can of abalone can really shut off the star power of "A" list Sharon Au. Oh well. I got interviewed on TV why I became a betrayer and all I could do was feigning hunger. So you could probably see me on TV like 10 secs. Ha ha.

Well, I have loads of articles to write. I love to write stuff, just hate to refine it. One of my editors claims that everybody who says they like to write actually do not like to write at all because they are forced to write. He belives nobody likes to write. I defended with my own point of view using me as a personal opinion that I love to write, spontaneous writing especially where I do not aim to write to please an audience like my blog for example. I just write whatever my mood feels like.

I further reiterated my point that everyone is an artist and that people express their feelings or thoughts through writing or even singing in the bathroom. It is just a different form of expression and each way they express themselves is individualistic and unique to their own style. Therefore, you cannot comprehend why a person would sing awfully in the toilet and people also cannot understand why I chose to write this article in my own manner.

Writing is an art. So is whining, photocopying your butt and digging your nose.

Your style. Your art. That's reality.

- Benjamin

Friday

It was suppose to be a rest day for a Friday.

Turns out I was packed to the brim. Not that I loathe it or am whining about it now, but I do think it is time for me to breathe among the midst of continuous action all the way from last july where I was packed with projects semester to final year project.

Firstly, i lugged the digital video camera in a big shiny sony box back to digital media studio before 9 am and the rush hour crowd was starring at me like I was some bomb-totting terrorist wannabe. After unloading, I had to rush to a press conference where I was covering for my school newspaper about an initiative by Singapore Recreation Club, the one next to the padang, which is starting a scheme to harness SP athletes to better polish their potential.

During this press conference, i met the Fox herself. Chery Fox from CNA, in person, she is as gorgeous and well-mannered as she is on tv. I just admired her from a distance but I was wondering what she was doing in the midst of a mini press conference with little news value in my own opinion.

Nevertheless, i was the photojournalist where I juggled with a digital camera and a notepad, scribbling down important details. Had lunch there and I got my first taste of escargot (hope i spelled it correctly). The snails taste rather okay though, not as icky as I expected but I found out that I loved a great appetizer.

First, use Ritz cracker as the base and then a slice of hardboiled eggs and top it up with those orange fish roes you find in sushis with a touch of mayo and a hint of lightly cut garnishing. It was A-delicious.

Rushed back to school to report back to my editors and return the camera they passed to me and had lunch over at the Staff centre. The food sucks. Sorry to say, but their speciality listed there which was Gyudon which I tried and had difficulty swallowing and since my editors were there I had to gulped it all up, with relutance.

Discussed about the polytechnic events going on and my slight hint of learning of photography. Note to myself: photography needs to be learned as it is an additional skill if I decide to major in journalism. Also note, the entry level camera is $1,700 which I can never afford. Last note, unless i strike lottery, buy it, in which case, never, because i don't buy lottery.

My day was not over yet. I headed over to the digital media studio and edited children voiceovers for the course video for approximately an hour before heading over to ESDD side to pass them the finished work. I had originally planned for my day to go for the press conference and then head to the library but looked what happened in between. To round it up, I went to the library because I needed to write a cover letter and borrowed more books on how to write the most employer-friendly resume and cirrculum vitae before finally walking home with my satisfied eventful day.

I love my life. All i need now is someone to share it with. Sigh.

- Benjamin

P.S. One blog reader of mine whom i didn't know until today, a dmc junior of mine, Siang Yew aka King, greeted me with my blog name out of nowhere. Was in a rush to return the camera, so if u see this, leave a comment or two.

Narcissim

Every human being is narcissitic.

The pope, the karang guni man and even yourself.

I read from research that the average man (and woman) will look in the mirror at least 8 times a day. No jokes about it.

People are self conscious on how they look to people and that is why people are trying to be "fashionable".

fashionable

\Fash"ion*a*ble\, a. 1. Conforming to the fashion or established mode; according with the prevailing form or style; as, a fashionable dress.

Style is set by people who claim what should be "in" and what is "uncool".

Therefore, people go for platform shoes in 1996 and bubble tea in 1999. A hype created by one, will pass on like a plaque to the other. Therefore, in order to reassure other people that you blend into the mold of society, individuals try to look "fashionable".

There are some people out there who are trying to make a statement by being bold, outrageous, unconformist. In the end, all they are trying to do is set their own style, impose images of "fashion" sense into people they interact.

I won't deny that i'm not a narcissist. I am. I love myself and I do not see anything wrong in that. I know i am not anywhere near perfection. Neither gorgeous or cute, I believe in the right to exalt in confidence with whatever that is given to me be it physical apperance or financial status.

At the end of the day, who are you trying to prove? Subconsciously, we always want to prove to our friends we are better than them, placing ourselves in better light so as to edge ourselves into better position. I guess it is inside us human DNA for us trying to outperform one another.

I'm not trying to be inspirational but everyone has their own set of style, sense and values. In the end, I hope everyone is trying to prove to only one person. Their own self that they can choose whatever they want to be and not get suppressed by what other people say.

I somehow can't seem to do that as I prefer to be with the flow. Understatement would my philosophy as it would do no benefit for me to be a Japanese punk to distinguis myself as the fashionable crowd.

I just want to be me. However, narcissitic i get. I deserve the right to do so. So do you.

- Benjamin

Practicality

I'm rehashing the issue of practicality again.

I just watched "School of Rock". A so-so movie, storyline was kind of expected and it didn't leave a strong impression on me. What did however was the unrealistic plot.

Jack Black was a subsitute teacher who took over a class and co-ordinated them to be a great rock band. The bad guys (the parents) came in at the end of the show to interfere and was taken aback by their children's performance.

Now, the only thing wrong with this picture was that these parents were those straight-faced, money-grabbing, elitist class people and what made them changed their minds suddenly when their children were rocking in front of a crowd who smoked marijuana and pierce their nipple. They want their children to be like that ?

Okay, so back to practicality. The show ended with them taking "remedial" lessons from the man himself but seriously, does anyone foresee a good future in the arts industry?

I'm not an arty person and I was tentative when I was given the chance to jump over the fence from academic to artistic. I wanted to become a performing artist in dramas and plays but I refrained from doing so. Maybe I didn't had the talent but one strong holdback was my survival for the future.

Artists don't make a good living. They struggle to make a name for themselves and only the polished gems make it through the heap of charcoal while the rest are left at the stubble.

Artists, may they be painters, photographers or performers, they simply don't have a strong future, especially in Singapore. That is why most of us take art, music or drama as a CCA the most, not pursuing further.

Engineers, doctors, scientists. Most of us aim to take this road because that is where the money lies but still, aren't we all to practical. I believe there was once in art, music or drama classes that we were inspired or our mouth held agape at the beauty of art even though we don't fully understand it.

You could say i'm an unpractical person. I follow my interest then what reality presets for me. My parents gave me the freedom to choose the route of junior college or a polytechnic education. I picked mass communications because i did not want to waste two years studying chemistry,advance mathematics, general paper and chinese where I will in the end, only end up using one or two of these subjects as a support for my university education.

In other words, I don't want to waste my time wasting brain cells at something which I won't use in future even though it is useful. So i place myself as practical. That is why I see reason in any single think i do. I'm a practical person. period.

I do it for the grades, experience, or to just assist a friend. But when there is no reason to do something that is just expending effort and time, I rather relocate myself to more useful stuff like sleeping (helps me recharge for the next day activities). I hate it when I know I have nothing to shop and I have no intention of buying anything, window shopping is the most boring thing that I would ever do.

Thats besides the point here, but humans are practical in the end i guess. Getting a life partner to live life with you, sharing HDB installments and having babies, a reason to move on to the next phase of life. I guess there is no spontaniety in life, if you make a rash impulse decision, you will regret it as you are shunned by all the other practical people in your life, like your family, friends and society.

There is no such thing as choice. Just the most practical choice. That's life. Live with it.

- Benjamin

All things Japanese

"I will sell my babies through the Internet"

This is a quote mentioned by my lecturer today out of pure accident. We were copywriting for a promotional headline from a child's perspective on promoting an IT related cost, I mentioned about I will sell my toys through the internet. I guess she shouldn't have a baby after all.

This is just one of the funny moments today because it was in a serious setting and that quote broke the monotony of seriousness.

I have received approval of a Japanese student who wil come over to stay at my house ! Woo hoo, it will only be for 2 days but cultural exchanges are so fun with those hand gestures and reading of facial expressions.

I remember when I went to Miyazaki for 7 days and had a home stay there with a typical Japanese family for 3 days. It was an unnverving experience as survival depended on them if they choose to feed you or eat you up like sushi and feed your bones to the dog. The father was an English teacher at an elementary junior high so that helped alot. I heard from many students of communication breakdown so I guess I'm fortunate.

Not to digress, as a "Gaijin" there, the first issue was bathing, we had to shower off all the dirt, grease and dog drool and then soak in a bath tub. Everytime the family allow me to go first. I showered, but avoided the tub. I can't imagine a family of 4 will soak in tub of same water. It's pretty unnerving.

Did I really face culture shock ? Frankly, i don't think so because I appreciate and like the Japanese way of life of being efficieny and cleanliness. It might seem like a schizophrenic fetish for hygenic stools to sit on because they want to increase their life expectency.

Their daughter who was 9, came to Singapore and lived with me for a couple of days. I am no paedophille but she is the most cuddly and most cherub face you could associate back then and everybody tease me about me and my "future wife". Hello ? 9 years old ..... I'm twice her age. My parents pampered her when she came, I suspect because of the lack of daughters in the family, my parents went on a shopping splurge for her in chinatown and got her anything she want. Was I envious ? nope. This was the only time that Mia (her name) came to Singapore. You could say a chance of a decade because when you have been someone once, you wouldn't want to come back again. The been-there-seen-that attitude.

A male university student from Tokyo is coming down. He is here on an English speaking immersion programme, lets see how his Engrish fares. I just want to see if Japanese has this particular idiosyncrasy which is evident with every Japanese that comes to Singapore. (I have met like 8 Jap. students and all of them shared this.)

They are curious about our Merlion.

Hell, we Singaporeans don't even care how the Lion shagged the mermaid and ended up at our fishing village. Our discoverer , Sang Nila Ut-cockeye-ma could not possible have seen a Lion because our historians say that only tigers exist here. Oh well, mistakes do happen. But this mistake makes people from the outside world that our descadents were merfolk that got pregnant with seed of the king of the jungle.

- Benjamin

Single yet Available

Next to family, studies and friends, your love life is one of the top few priorities of adolescene.

In a world filled with love, there is the single person and there is the attached person.

The attached person are sub categorised into 2 more general groups.

The first group is where they are known as the "Romeos n Juliets" where they have declared undying love to the other and will grow old and wrinkled no matter what.

The second group is the "Attached swinging singles", which i affectionatly term them as A.s.s. Basically, they are attached people who are still into the dating scene and are ogling over some cute guys or gals with their partner in tow.

These a.s.s gets on my nerves. Even though they have someone by their side, they still actively look for a replacement. It is like they are enjoying both sides of the world like bisexuals are to heterosexuals. This also equates to them in future that if they ever get married, they are also have a high probability of having mistresses or sex buddies that will lead the marriage vows to divorce.

The reason I am bringing this is up is to a dating blog competition that I recently joined. Because we can view some of the people that are already in it, I noticed many a.s.s.es in this competition that is dedicated to singles only.

Hello ? You have you share of the pie and enjoy it, stop snatching others and hoarding to what is yours. It is not only unfair but also unethical to the other party as they are unaware of what other "commitments" that you have made 7 months ago to a guy.

That is why you see so many "single yet not available" people that signed up.

You had your turn and you have your fun. Don't take what others haven't had a try yet.

- Benjamin

Porn

I just had to write this. The pent up social moaner is on the loose after being entrapped in the heap of dust of new year spring cleaning.

Porn. We all have seen it. Admit it. Those pop up windows, those dirty linen of yours, all swept under the carpet also known as your brain. Porn has always been deemed as socially unacceptable, especially in an Asian culture. With all that pent up sexual frustration, men resort to porn to "release" their inner desires.

Everyone is aware of its existence but are shy and deflect from it as a topic of conversation as it is just plain weird to have a porn conversation with anyone including your close friends.

Porn, like technology, helps improve mankind.

There I said it. This is because porn was being discussed with one of my lecturer. Yup, she says porn assisted and "spurted" the growth of humankind. Not that type of "growth" as in babies but to a new level of technology that improves a standard of life. By the way, I was not having a one on one discussion but porn was discussed with 101 students in the lecture hall.

Shocking? Nah. We were discussing about new communication technologies and her introductory level gave new perspective to porn. There is always an agenda when something is done. Like the reason you rob a bank is to get money or to consume fish to have a bigger brain. There is a correlation to what you do.

Regarding porn, it helped humankind to a new level. This was how. Back then in the 1960s, videotapes were nothing but there was a need to exchange unsavoury materials. The videotape industry grew leaps and bounds. Then came the internet but in the early 90s, no one but the industry people had their hands on it. Consumers see the potential of it being a space for unlimited porn, hence the progress. Now, the digital age we are in, more technology boundaries are being conquered because of the advent of porn.

Since we are at the topic of porn, i have this question which I posed to a male lecturer of mine.

The question goes like this. "Who of the following will you have better sex if you are a virgin yourself, which in this scenario, you love both of them equally?

A. A female virgin
B. A female gal who has slept around with a few guys but finally choosing you.

Most of the feedback I got is A. the virgin because they like the exclusivity that virgins are. My option would be B. though because she being the "experienced" person, she would know the "birds and the bees" that is invovled. Her experience would be invaluable in me providing good sex as she would be able to show me the ropes as how she learnt from her past encounters.

The theory behind this is about good sex or about getting anything right. You need to try a few things before you settle down on one. Like editing a video clip and using various softwares before deciding which one is the best for you so that you can have the best possible transition, best possible effect, best possible overall look.

Unless you chose the right one from the start, you have the luck then. This is so said the same for love. It is practically impossible to choose the right person from the beginning. You have to go out there, test waters to see the individuals that match you and the chemistry that will be bubbling.

Love, porn and sex in one topic. What more do you one ?

All three of this has one common factor. Luck u get in getting laid, getting off to the best material and finding your life partner. Luck. Is what the world is lacking now.

- Benjamin

Revamp

I have not been blogging for the past 4 days because of one reason.

A revamp of my room. Although I did my spring cleaning on the 2nd day of the year, these last few days were what you would deem more "intense". For the past 6 years since my secondary school, junk has been accumulating in my humble abode room and with a clean swipe, everything has been deleted in the recycled bin and voila, my room has a new layout with a brand new scrubbing of the parquet floor. Everything is sorted, neatly packed and I know what every single cupboard is lying.

To tell you the truth, it hasn't been easy these past few days. Old memories jog back as I sift through the materials that I once used to covet. Old photos, postcards, little trinkets that I collected just had to go to the dump. It held no more further meaning in the present and I guess that is life, it's practical.

You don't like your marriage, you get a divorce.
You don't like your car, get a new one.
You don't like your life, kill yourself and get reincarnated.

Practicality is the essence of adult life. The antonymn of practicality is when you are having fun. Practical is defined as something that adds value to the action that you undertake and most of the time, practicallity is devoid of any joy.

To have a clean spartan room that does not accumulate bacteria overtime, I had to get rid off the stuff toys, memorabilia and postcards as they are not practical anymore. I live for the now and look ahead for the future. The past, is all just a memory. Boy am I jaded.

I did my new year shopping early when I got the shocking news of a thorough spring cleaning of cleaning out the skeletons of my wardrobe

The termites did a clean job



Can u see me hiding under those cushion covers?



I slept on and with my books that night

I'm sure everyone is pretty interested to know what my room looks like now. Frankly, I love the whole new layout. My mom says I can open a clothing shop and I personally feel that my rooms looks like an office at Temasek holdings as I live on the 12th floor and as I type this blog, I can glance at the far distance of the horizon of never ending HDB flats.

On an interesting note, the course video that I am directing is nearing completion. I stared at the Mac for a total of 5 consecutive hours and the Mac screwed up only once (thank god!). I'm hoping the client (my director aka principal) doesn't get too nasty and nit pick all the errors.

On a sick note however, never drink banana juice after you eat black pepper udon if you don't like the sight of yellow pellets.

And now, I bring you the new look of Benjamin's room ....

I'm going to sue you if you nit pick on my bobdog blankie

The next warehouse sale location

The chairman was hiding under his bobdog blankie

This is a pretty long post, to make up for my abscene of heaving dust, discarding trash, smelling like a feather duster and chasing lizards. I feel like a new man now with my new room with the odd smell of freshly lacquered parquet.

- Benjamin

Books

Back in school and lovin' it.

Back to the churning on research projects and group meetings.

I love to do project work. It is always in the initial stages that I get all excited and hyped up and fervently searching for information in the library or on the worldwide web. I still don't know what keeps me going but one thing for sure, I will lose steam and lose interest in it and finally, want to wrap up a project as soon as possible.

With 2 modules with 2 months to clear, my timetable is relatively unpacked leaving me with a 3 day holiday. I could either study for my SATs that I will be having an examination for 24th January which I aim for a 1400 score at least or I could either start out strong on my projects and lay the groundwork before I get disinterested.

In any case, it just goes back to my personality of being occupied or in my terms, "useful". With me having no love life to tie me down or family problems to hold me back, you could see i'm the bachelor I am, living the life I want. Some people call me pyschotic for taking up so much stuff when you know that I'm in the quicksand but somehow with me being stuck in the quicksand, I get to learn something new everytime and although I don't see the benefits of some things I do, I just have a gut feeling that it is a great experience that I have learnt.

On a departing note, I am reading Dilbert - The Joy of Work to relax as it is a guide to finding happiness at the expense of your Co-workers. I also have 1 book on HTML tips & techniques for my blog, 2 advertsing novels detailing about branding and ad campaigns, 4 books about professional preperation to do my research on, 1 book about life as an asian student adapting to australian university life, 1 DVD about a comedy movie on the journalism world and about 150 pages of SATs that has 3500 words to revise accompanied by 16 chapters of maths to review and 3 stacks of SAT practice paper. My life is such a thrill.

I wasn't kidding

On the contrary, i DO read them.

- Benjamin

P.S. Benjamin has a tendency to return books late with cobwebs, librarians have a memorandum for a shoot-and-kill when they spot him. Benjamin does pay his fines early though but he fears the infra-red scanner that the librarian threatens to flash on him if he ever returns his books late again.

Jaded

Two days of school. Two days of slacking.

I won't go into further details of the 1st 2 days as everyone knows that it is always a slackening period where students readjust back from vacation mode to using-their-brains mode.

I haven't shut off my brains since my vacation last July. I just like being busy and like being kept occupied. If i'm bored, it means i'm useless and hence, my search to do something. Today, I sorted my clothes and iron my stuff. Just feeling accomplished of what I have done as I normally don't help around with the housework. My mother was pleasantly suprised when I was hogging the ironing board when she returned home.

I have a passion for reality shows and I love all sorts of twists and turns it takes to suprise the contestants. With no twists and turns in my life, there is no spontanity that really makes life what it is. Exciting.

Maybe i'm jaded. But a student life is pretty boring after all. What can a student do? Shopping, chit-chat with friends, bowling, mahjong, watch a movie, study, reading, sports. This is practically the scope of what a normal student does. As an adult, you have more privileges like going to a country club, going overseas or go clubbing.

So what if you have tee off at all the courses, went to visit every wonder of the world, flirted with every gal there is. What is there left ? Start a family ? I guess so. That's why people get married as they move on to the next phase of their life as they are already jaded of what they have already done. Getting married is a practical move after jadedness in life.

After which, you grow old, you get grandchildren and you get placed in an old folks home. Can anyone tell me what is the excitment that life promises us then? Is life really worth living since we get so many troubles from every aspect of our lives. Stress from a distraught home, a backstabbing office atmosphere and credit card companies chasing you. No wonder people are suicidal. They see no hope in life. Just parangs and pig bloods at their door step.

This sounds so repressive but it is the truth after all. Maybe life is living through all this activities with your loved ones and all the people that meet in your life. Experience the joy, the sorrow and the humour of what life revolves around.

Life is a path waiting to be travelled by the unique individual, through the trials and tribunals, one can only appreciate life when they are dying. This is why life flashes by before you die.

- Benjamin

P.S. Benjamin is high on cereal and Yoshinoya take-away food. Please, when you see him, slap the back of his head to wake him up from his morbid existence.

Dating

Went shopping today with my buddy Ephraim, resisted the temptation of being sucked into the vortex of consumerism but I eventually succumb to the great marketing prowess of the SALE signs and grabbed two tops to sum up my days worth of shopping. Was very itchy hands though but my right hand slapped my left hand the moment it was heading for the wallent and hence my dropped clothes at the cashier.

Today made me realise something, shopping is good if you have some alongside. To chat, comment or even criticise, I love companionship whenever I have shopping. On a side note, mahjong was cancelled twice as I cannot seem to get enough people to play. Must enlarge my network. I just love the thrill of touching those tiles.

Topic of the day: The dating scene

If you have a crush on someone, the most likely place you would bring that person (if you're a guy) to would most likely be dinner and movies. That is probably the most common date that would likely happen. That's totally passe to me.

If I ever go out on a date with a gal, I would firstly avoid a place with crowds. Not that I want to do anything funny but you face less tension when there is less tendency for your eyes to roam and hence, it will heighten my own uncomfortableness if I do not know the gal very well.

I would most likely bring the gal cycling at East Coast Park on a first date as cheesy as it might sound. Renting a twin bicycle, it would be ideal as it is a healthy date and you get to spend more time with your date. We would rest on a grass patch and have a chat after which, we would most likely have dinner. That would be my ideal date.

Now, to you all, it might seem boring and uncreative but it is a start and furthermore, we get to know one another better than some cheesy plot showing on the screen.

People think it is very easy for a guy like me to get dates, going up to a girl, asking her number, after which calling her and asking her out on a date. Chances are that she is already attached or the worst situation is that she is not interested you. Either way, rejection is the main deterrent for why I don't approach girls on the street just like that. By shocking somebody of some stranger wanting to know you better, some girls will be scared stiff out of their minds.

Dating is like two individuals with tentative thoughts. One is thinking about the other whether the other feels any affection towards the other. Through dating, they are ascertaining one another's chemistry for the other.

I say skip that melodrama, dating can last up to more than 3 months and it will cause pain and suffering when one finally makes the daring approach of asking the other (usually the guy) and ends up rejected. As I was saying, get into the relationship of knowing one another immediately and skip the hit-and-runs where the awkward-knowing-one-another sessions and in a matter of days, you will know whether you hit the jackpot of a potential blooming relationship.

- Benjamin

Kris

It was just another idyllic Saturday when a MSN messenger pop-up window caught my attention.

3 years. I never heard a word from him and here he was wishing me a happy Gregorian new year.

Let me give you some background information about him. His name is Kris Manios. A Dutchman who is 3 years my senior. I got to know him when he was the boyfriend of my cousin Daphne back in 2000. That relationship did not last long and he flew back to Holland.

During 2000, it was a 6 months waiting period before I entered polytechnic and so, we hang around alot with Daphne and her sister, Faith. He was like a hero that I looked up to because he was indeed someone that I could emulate.

He was patient, he was kind and he was cool to hang around with. He taught me lots of great stuff like the numerical system of Dutch language, hooked me up to broadband & made me a geek and he insulted my guts when I did not dare try contact lenses and he had to show me personally how to wear it when he had no need for glasses and wore my contact lenses to taunt me.

That was such great memories then. Going back to the present, we chatted continuously about what each of has been doing for the past few years. It was great moments catching up on what we were doing. For a period of time, Kris was in band singing and currently, he has 2 more years to go before he completes his degree in Amsterdam now.

Like me, he is still interested in the Japanese culture and he watches Japanese comedies, anime and horror. I have made a pact with him in 2009, we will apply for the JET programme because we are so enamoured with what the culture has to offer us. Even so, if I become married or if he does first, we will invite one another across continents to witness our marital vows.

Until then, a great buddy and pal of mine, Kris Manios.

Now, you can't really expect Kris to be that old. That is his uncle!

What a great start to a new year!

- Benjamin

Reflections

Being a graduating student soon, it is time that I have to think about my future. When you are at a young age, you never put much consideration into what lies down the road but decisions have to make and since it is my life after all and it is a crossroad of my life, it was time to consider my options.

Being a media & communication student, I could have picked the typical route of being a Junior college student but I knew back then it was not my cup of tea. I was not strong in my Chinese literature and text hence my proclivity towards a more fulfilling education of being hands-on.

I was strong in my Mathematics and Science but I knew I didn't imagine myself as a chemist or an engineer as it would be too mundane. Hence, the choice of being in the media and communication field.

Having studied for this diploma in this last 2.5 years, it gave me some perspectives in life as during project work, you had to be mature at hand to take on the task. I feel that I have matured from where I stood back then.

Firstly, what were my interests in the media and communication field? The scope is wide ranging from Video production, Events management, Advertising, Public relations and Journalism. Personally, I have dabbled in each of the following above in my stint in School of Business.

I'm the director for my School of Business video prospectus, I co-organised my school Talentime, I was involved with the Final Year project management to a real client and I am writing and reporting actively for my school newspaper.

To summarise, I feel that I am a jack of all trades and master of none. My interests at the moment right now are slanted towards 3 areas.

Advertising. This is an attractive field that is always on the go like technology, it keeps on your toes and if you will be left behind if you are updated. It is pretty tough to succeed in this industry but it is a challenge that I would not mind considering.

Video Production. I have a strong grasp of the knowledge that I have learnt and I continually practice with it throughout my years here. The only thing though is I'm already tired of it because of the constant editing. On the other hand, I like copywriting and planning for a shoot and one of the strong reasons that keep me from this interest is the pay because if you are a nobody here, there is little you can pocket.

Journalism. I never envision myself in this industry. It can be cutthroat, it can be back-breaking. Deadlines and a strong comprehension of the English language is a must. I never perceive myself as a writer and probably still don't as a strong article writer. I could just take this up as an interest but there is more to explore here though.

After my national service, I would either enter the industry or getting my degree in an Australian university as it would be the most financially viable option if I intend to further my studies. Hence, I have dedicated the topic about where my future lies as school term is about to start and I am about to reach my big 2-0.

I would love to hear feedback from people who know me on where should I go. I know ultimately the choice I make is mine and mine alone but I would like a third person perspective.

- Benjamin

Shopping

It is great to feel fresh for the New Year.

Therefore, I tidied my agglomeration of miscellaneous items I collected for the past year and swept them to the chute. Everything is so neat and tidy! I'm rather ambivalent about cleanliness in my room. , I like the state of messiness because I feel 'proud' of the junk I accumulated but on the other hand, I like to be accessible to the stuff that I keep. Therefore, my attempts to ameliorate my living conditions!

I went back to school today to check on the course video that I'm directing. It is almost done except for some grey areas. After which, I went shopping!

I love shopping. That is not quite typical of a guy but when you are empowered with shopping money and stuck in consumerism land; you cannot help but reach out and grab that window display.

Chinese New Year is approaching and everyone is grabbing something that is red which will represent an auspicious year ahead if you wear it on the first day of the New Year. As my parents are traditionalists, I was adamant to obey my mum's request and had to zealously search for something red.

Retailers and marketers are astute. They know that the season is coming and voila! All clothes that are red are marked up in price while the rest of the dull autumn colours clothing have their prices slashed. My agenda was searching for something that was not a top that you wore only once as people don’t often wear red and that the design or the cutting was unique.

I have a particular taste in clothing, which is why I avoid common brands like Giordano, Bossini and U2. I just don't like the idea of someone along the street wearing the exact same shirt walking past me. If that happens to you, usually both of you will try to look away. For me, it just feels uncomfortable.

It is just that I am a "brand" person, the type that goes for brand. Usually when you go for branded stuff, there is less chances that people around you will have the same particular item and hence, my penchant for unique clothes. Decent, not flamboyant, not overtly pricey and unique. It is hard to understand my sense of clothing but think Abercrombie & Fitch, Quiksilver and Adidas. Minimalism. Imagine shoes designed by Kenneth Cole.

I ended up buying 1 singlet from Guess and 1 Quiksilver top from Flash & Splash. Splurging a total of $80 for both tees was heart-wrenching as I am eyeing on the idea of getting a PDA so that I can jot down my ideas and random ramblings wherever I am. I guess that has to wait.

Today made me realise something. Shopping alone is really pathetic. Yes, some may argue that by oneself, one can do as they please and shop wherever they want at any interval but I refute that shopping alone is a misery.

There is no one to give you a second person perspective, no one to bring you back to earth on an impulse expensive purchase, no one to idly be by your side scouring the racks of shirts. Companionship, be it boy or girl, is a requisite if you ever go shopping. At least there is someone who will buy a red top at an exorbitant price together!

- Benjamin

Resolutions

Every new year, resolutions are always made. And broken. I read up from somewhere that 80% of the resolutions are broken by the end of February. And only 3% survive to daylight to see the next year.

To begin with, I have no resolutions. Just live life as it is and hope for the better. A moment at a time. Choose your crossroads as you encounter them. However, on a slight note, I'm planning for my route to university after national service by sourcing out which are the good ones for my industry so you could say i'm having some foresight for the years ahead.

On another side note this time, I am looking forward to kick my bootie back in school with only 2 more modules to master and 4 months of back-breaking-child-slavery internship work to do. Really looking forward to that.

Not a very interesting post so I shall load up the remaining pictures of last night's "havoc".

How I achieve the pyramid hairstyle

SARS temperature taking in process

A sight for sore eyes

On another side side-note, Xiaxue is back to blogging !

- Benjamin

P.S. The gal on the picture is not my girlfriend. Just a very close course buddy of mine whom I invited to the countdown party.

Underwear

Just back from the countdown party from school ....

Yup ! you heard me right. A party in S-C-H-O-O-L .... oxymoronic if you tell me. It's like saying homework is fun.

Have photos to show you the 'fun' I had. Scroll down to see it.

I'm upset I didn't win the PDA from the lucky draw. In fact, I am upset I didn't win ANYTHING at all.

I didn't know why I was so unlucky. They had 26 prizes and I had 3 coupons to strike. It was only then I realized when I reach home. At this very moment as I'm typing this blog while unzipping my jeans that I knew the answer to my unlucky streak.

I wore my briefs, backwards.

Now, it is lucky if you wear your underwear backwards, according to hearsay, somehow, I only feel damn upset paying $26.80 for the cab ride home and $5 for an extra lucky draw coupon to get nothing in return. I will remind myself before I leave my house to check which side my underwear is facing.

My friend, Ephraim has some of the good photos that we took at the party. I will post it up later when I get them as he is laying in a slumber. For the moment, this 3 photos taken by my vampiric-battery-powered-Olympus camera will suffice for now.

Someone gave me a wedgie

Muscle-bound Ben attracts the ladies

Ephraim & Me showing what love is all about

- Benjamin

P.S. Will post more when I wake up, I have so much to blog about !!!