Jaded

As it turns out, Chinese New Year is a dud. Waking up in the morning, receiving guests, it was wonderful seeing relatives after one year has past and how all their kids have grown to climb over my head, throw my stuff around and wrecking my room but I take it all in stride. Kids are kids after all.

Back to why I believe CNY is a dud for me, i know i ain't old and stuff but CNY has come to a time where getting hong baos, having stomachache after steamboat and juggling mandarin oranges is the norm. As usual, i take that all in stride as 75% of the population wore red gloriously getting their luck to come by and visit them on the first day of the CNY whereas the other 25% of the S'pore chinese population are wearing red undergarments quietly getting their luck through the Toto and 4-D tickets that they buy.

It has come to a point where CNY has little value for me. Beside meeting all my family and stuff, it was gratifying to know how others are doing and how miserable I am at being single, scrawny and stared at. Because I was sporting a Beckham hairstyle whom i was NOT trying to imitate but was doing in the name of fashion because short hair is kewl and everyone at my grandfather's place tease me.

Last year, I had dragonball hair. Yesterday, I had pointy Beckham hair. Next year, I will have botak hair (army). I'm just like standing on a podium, waiting for 10 Simon Cowell personalities Auntie to gossip about and will away their CNY frivoulously.

I don't even count the money in my Hong Baos like I usually do with relish in my past few years where I tore up the nice red packaging and see how much did a particular auntie gave me. Yesterday however, I have kept all my hongbaos in a box and hid it from myself. I ain't superstituous or stuff but red packets were suppose to represent the blessings of relatives and the value inside had relatively no value.

Today, CNY is about competition on which bloodkin was more "richer", rather superficial if you tell me but I am looking at this matter very superficially too. I vow that I will not use the money until I need it urgently or I have to put it in the bank to accumulate the miserly interest. I always keep my vows.

It is just pretty sucky to celebrate Chinese New Year (CNY) and then in a matter of hours, you have a big SAT test. I am fully not prepared but out of 1600, i guess I will get around 1200. I have hope. Hope that luck from the hongbaos work.

I will conclude CNY to 10 reasons of why celebrating Chinese New Year is like being on the Miss World paegent. There is no better way to express it.

10. You don new nice clothes for CNY
Particpants of Miss World don new nice gowns for CNY for their first time too.

9. You go around shaking hands with everyone during CNY
Participants of Miss World goes around shaking hands with any random passerby, whether they have SARS or not, they still do it.

8. Your family gather around on one faithful day of CNY to celebrate.
Family members of participants of Miss World gather around at one location to celebrate their daughter's crowning.

7. You wish everyone Happy New Year.
Participants of Miss World bless everyone with World Peace.

6. You have to act nice to all the cousins you don't like.
Participants of Miss World have to resist clawing their counterparts.

5. You wish to have luck for the rest of the year.
Participants of Miss World only want luck for themselves and not for the rest.

4. Chinese New Year is all about money.
Miss World is not all about money. It is about money, fame, glory, beauty, and sleeping with the judges.

3. You put on a fake smile in front of everyone.
Participants of Miss World went to surgically enhance their fake smiles for everyone.

2. Everyone eats loads of rubbish like crackers, roasted pork (bak kwa) and cookies for CNY.
Participants of Miss World avoid these rubbish but go for Slim 10 and Extrim.

1. Parents dread the day when CNY approaches.
Parents dread the day when their daughter gets crowned Miss World and she gets to find out she was adopted.

- Benjamin

P.S. I sound like an antagonist. I'm not really. I am really happy-go-lucky type of guy. After CNY that is.