Sunday, February 01, 2004

Kids

Have not been blogging because nothing much has happened around here.
School takes up most of the scheduled and being shipped from left to right of Singapore to become recipents of red packets is what I can make of this week.

So, what more to talk about is the people i met along the way. One prominent group are kids.

Most of the kids are either my cousins, nephews or nieces.

Two in particular are brothers, and boy do they irritate me to the core.

I don't fancy the idea of spending my time with people younger than me than a decade because we have no common ground to have a normal conversation and often, I have to resort myself to babytalk to smoothen up these kids when I'm forced to be stuck in a room where the more mature adults are having their usual gossipy session on which uncle bought a new car or which far distance relative of theirs got testicular cancer.

Hence, the usual tactic of mine is to be a "monster" scaring away the kids with my antics, playing peek-a-boo and suddenly appear out from a HDB wall with my hands like a clawing cheetah on its hunt. This is normally followed by screams and running footsteps from the kids. The shrill of those screams are so piercing that I consider wearing ear plugs. On the other hand, I won't be able to hear a car aiming for me if I cross the roads. Decisions decisions.

Anyway, not to sidetrack, the 2 kids kept wanting my attention even though "clawing period" and you how kids are, they just only one thing. Attention. They got my attention alright. And my irritation to REALLY claw them after a 2 hour session.

Now, I don't really love kids or really hate them. I don't coo or crinkle at the sight of cute newborns or spit and vomit at any passing strollers. I just have the "shrug shoulders" attitude of their existence. Babies are here for a reason. Cause and effect of having sex > pregnancy > 9 months later > baby.

All my relatives say i'm good with kids. My destiny, my affinity, many of them commented that they were willing to invest funds for me to start a childcare centre. All I could do was just not in assentment even though deep back in my mind, I was just being myself. Maybe I was really a kid at heart, but the adult in me is trying to get out and be serious.

I guess the age of maturity when the adult in me finally takes a place in the core of my brain and the child in me gets demoted to the lower levels of uranus. But the adult in me know one thing, I can't stand the notion of changing diapers yet, so I guess I'm not ready to be a father yet. I do not even dare to look at my own shit much less the shit that my child will create.

Until then, the kid in me will live reality as it is. The expiry date of it is when I reach the age of 25.
Maturity is like shit, it has to come out some day.

- Benjamin

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