Consequences of me in politics

If I ever join the PAP, I would do the following:

1. Make it compulsory for everyone to have sex education lessons from primary school.

2. Ban flying ants and cockroaches by having a SWOT team ready on call whenever any buzzes within ear sight of any innocent Singaporean.

3. Stop giving scholarships to international students who think they own the world and deserve it all by making them go through 9 stages of harsh interviews and brainwashing before allowing them to study here.

4. Force MITA to give more transparency to by having a board of censors from all walks of life to sit in and watch a particular movie before giving it a rating. That’s what you call democracy. DUH!

5. Import foreign talent who can make us laugh. Drew Careys, Whoopi Goldbergs and Homer Simpson look-alikes are welcomed.

6. Remove ERP rates and let people drive to work when as they please and make them caught in traffic jams if they so enjoy having it instead of people waiting for the gantry time limit to pass causing MORE traffic jams and ACCIDENTS.

7. Build more theme parks and less neighbourhood parks since only lovers go there at night to do what they do at Hotel 81. Only cheaper and that there are the same amount of bugs when they do it.

8. Reduce National Service for 1 year and make women serve military service by allowing them to learn basic survival skills of crowd control management and how to spread legs wider to procreate faster.

9. Ventilate the SMRT systems as more people with body odours and hair with weird smells are boarding the trains.

10. Introduce a Papparazzi that will help heighten awareness for the Parliament by involving us in text SMS scandals or heart/kidney failure problems due to wrongful medication.

I promise you that I will let you down. Our economy will head downhill and you all have to thank or throw tomatoes at me for that. Vote for me. Please (on my knees).

Your very hunky Rambo terminator,
Benjamin

P.S. I'm definently not dreamd8 material but I sure look good in white.