Positivity

After writing that cynical post about myself, I just thought how negative I can be about myself and my life.

I've always been aware that life is always unfair and how you want to lead your life is determined by the choices that you make.

When I decided to head to poly and diverge off to a new diploma that seems exciting, it's a total divergence and I started to be independent and make decisions.

I was an optimist. Bright of all the opportunities that crossed me.

But after 3 years of exposure, it seems I've seen it.

Seen what you might ask? It means I've seen how my life path will end up. Down the advertising industry and die.

It seems to go down with the perennial question "What do you live for?"

It seems rather mundane and boring, not that I want to climb Mt. Everest or live on the Moon but I need to find a niche.

Like getting high over drugs or getting high over my excellence over certain achievements.

Not that I'm not proud of what I'm doing but I just feel there's something more out there waiting for me and I can't wait to pounce on the opportunity to change my life.

A Dream job? A Dream lover? Or a dream change of environment?

I somehow ask that question which I have always failed to answered.

I've become cynical, jaded and rather depressing of late.

I've lost shades of my humour and you only can catch it in bubbles of sacarsm or during rare positive moments.

"Slaps myself"

I've been telling myself to live for the moment but I have failed to accomplish that.

I NEED EXCITEMENT. I NEED EXHILRATION. I NEED SOMETHING MORE. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

The trials and tribulations of my youth. No wonder young people are so confused of anything and everything.

Trying to be positive,
Benjamin