Timeline

Just to make it clear, I'm going to the ARMY !!!!!

Yes, at least now I know which level of hell I'm heading (the deepest) and I have my tentative life schedule out. lol.

BEN'S NEXT 20 YEAR TIMELINE

August 16th 2004 - Enlistment Date.

February 16th 2007 - ORD.

June 1st 2007 - Start 1st day at an overseas university.

May 25th 2009 - Get my degree and burn it.

May 26th 2009 - Get laid (aka lose virginity).

May 27th 2009 - Go for a holiday to Nepal to meditate.

May 28th 2009 - Abandon plan as I'm allergic to the sight of yakking yaks...

May 31st 2009 - Recover from thinking about yaks.

June 1st 2009 - Found a job.

June 3rd 2009 - Failed 5 job interviews.

June 22nd 2009 - After 71 applications, only 2 made it. Lowly paid advertising executive or as a McDonalds staff.

June 24th 2009 - Start work !!! As an advertising slave.

December 31st 2009 - Last shopping trip before the next decade.

By now I'm at the age of 25.

December 31st 2010 - Receive my first bonus ! Quit job.

January 1st 2011 - To reach self-actualization goal, I need to overcome my fear of yaks. Start packing.

January 2nd 2011 - IRAS demands to pay my taxes. End up broke and cannot visit my feared yaks. Start unpacking.

December 31st 2011 - Complete IRAS form. Make love to my girlfriend (who is not a yak).

January 1st 2012 - IRAS ring doorbell while I'm having sex. Handed them a sticky form.

January 2nd 2012 - Hangover. Propose to girlfriend. But she was too tired to say yes.

January 3rd 2012 - Had superb sex again. Once again, she was shagged (pun intended).

January 4th 2012 - Couldn't keep up with her pace and propose. Was declined. Went into denial mood.

I'm at the age of 28. Low paying job and got dumped. Still living with parents. Not a virgin anymore but can't maintain pace.

December 25th 2012 - Met someone at a SDU Christmas get together. New relationship formed.

February 3rd - Celebrate 5 weeks of "getting to know one another better"

February 14th - Slapped 5 times because of forgetting Valentine's Day.

May 26th 2014 - Celebrate my 5 year anniversary of losing my virginity.

May 27th AM 2014 - Was spanked as an anniversary memento.

August 31st 2014 - Proposed to her on my birthday (This is so that I will never forget my anniversary).

Got hitched at the age of 30.

November 11th 2014 - Planned for our wedding.

August 31st 2015 - Our official wedding dinner. HDB application still pending.

September 19th 2015 - HDB flat approved at Punggol island. Made wife pregnant.

September 21st 2015 - False alarm. Apparently, my wifey was getting fat.

January 30th 2016- After 7 pregnancy kits, she's officially pregnant.

September 11th 2016 - Named my son Osama. Was stared at by nurse. Changed name to Oei-sama. I wanted a child with an easy name to call.

September 18th 2016 - Got a promotion. Finally. Went on a shopping splurge. For pampers.

At the age of 32, my hair is thinning and brain mass shrinking.

January 1st 2017 - New Years day was a havoc on the bed. Wife said I could not keep up.

August 31st 2017 - Made love again since new years day. I suspect wife is having affair. She forgot my birthday.

September 11th 2017 - Quarreled on our son's 1st birthday. Divorce is on the books.

December 29th 2017 - We made love so sweet that we burned the divorce papers (and books).

January 1st 2018 - Made love again. This time I lasted longer. (Hint: Viagra)

January 2nd 2018 - Was demoted from work. Apparently, I was sleeping too much at work.

January 3rd 2018 - Quit my job to be a house husband.

February 17th 2018 - Regretted my choice. I was in deep shit as I realized when I was cleaning my baby's poo.

March 14th 2018 - After begging for days, I finally got back my job. From then on, I gave my wife quickies.

August 31st 2018 - Wife gave me something good for our anniversary and my birthday. She gave me news of twins !

September 1st 2018 - Bought $1,000 worth of 4-D tickets.

September 3rd 2018 - Explained that I donated $1,000 to NKF from the bottom of my heart. (yah right!)

December 31st 2018 - Realized I'm 34. Start to feel the meaning of old.

January 1st 2019 - I forgot all about New Year "festivities", I suspect Alzheimer's.

January 18th 2019 - Doctor gave confirmation to my greatest fear. I did not have Alzheimer's disease. I have a tumour.

March 7th 2019 - Extracted tumour from right toe.

March 8th 2019 - Happen to see my wife discharge two girl twins. Double happiness, coupled with the glee of no more tumour.

March 9th 2019 - Reality hit hard. No more pampers. Work doubly harder at work after tumour operation.

December 31st 2019 - Got a pay increase. Finally. Came back to read my blog to see what I stated in my timeline was all true.

All said and that, I really can envision my life to be the above.

Isn't it amazing? Or I'm just plain weird. Wahahahaha.

Crazy,
Benjamin