Talentime
Entertainment, at the expense of your disgust.
Last day of school. Last day of seeing the school at its worst.
I was one of the main organizers of Talentime last year and I didn't expect any better of what I was about to see.
Frankly, it is just a basic itineary of who is going to sing, the usual stuff with awful emcees (gettting worse by the year) and the usual suprises of winners.
Firstly, the performers are about average and some with above par with good vocal ranges but chose bad songs aka quarter-finalists of American Idol.
Secondly, emcees never seem to warm up the crowd. All they do is announce and introduce the next singers/performers which a luohan fish/goat/camel can also do in a different animalistic language.
Lastly, winners which the audience always expect never turn out to be winners as the judges (from a different generation) sees things from a different point of view. Oh well.
It seems I am only able to pinpoint the negatives of a situation. There are positives too.
1. The buffet table is always cleared by 15 minutes. Exactly.
2. There is always a mess left in the audtiorium once Talentime is over.
3. Every performer always turn out to be winners as coursemates and friends are there to show their support no matter how badly they perform.
Amen to 3.
- Benjamin
P.S. I'm posting on both platforms, here and my dreamd8 site. You can find more nonsensical stuff about me there. Additionally, look at the 24 MMSes. i posted up in the last 24 hours. I'm a maniac !
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Last day of school
Technically, today was the last day of school.
After a horrid yet entertaining 2 years and 2 months, the school term has finally expired for us guinea pigs of Diploma in Media & Communication students at SP.
Next Monday, I will be interning at an advertising agency as an account executive which I shall not name for privacy issues. I will lightly blog about my experience there but I shall not lift any names in breach of the corporate policy and anyway, it is so unprofessional to do so.
So, after handing in the last assignment which I ran and panted like hell up the SB hill, I managed to beat the clock and submitted the Neuromancer book review (which I read and vomitted blood and hence my lateness) and an analysis of Diffusion of Innovations theory on digital TV.
To sum up, as much as it is a sigh of relief for no more dreadful lectures, sleepy tutorials and rushing project deadlines, there is a part of me that will miss the entertaining lecturers, inquistive tutorial activties and the adrenalin of beating the dot of project submissions.
I'm pretty sure I mentioned somewhere earlier in this blog that I have learned and matured along the time I spent in SP along with my friend's company and lecturers' guidance.
In truth, I will miss the ever trendy yet blur Miss N, spunky P, affable Miss H, subtlely funny F, strict & motherly L, mr know-it-all L, wacky R and endearing Mr A. All of these lecturers have changed my life one way or another as they have taught me valuable lessons along the way.
In addition, I will not miss the limited variety of foodcourt 6 and look forward to what Raffles Place has to offer for the next 3 months.
I will definitely miss SP. Indefinitely.
- Benjamin
P.S. I promised not to mentioned any lecturer's names hence the alphabets.
Technically, today was the last day of school.
After a horrid yet entertaining 2 years and 2 months, the school term has finally expired for us guinea pigs of Diploma in Media & Communication students at SP.
Next Monday, I will be interning at an advertising agency as an account executive which I shall not name for privacy issues. I will lightly blog about my experience there but I shall not lift any names in breach of the corporate policy and anyway, it is so unprofessional to do so.
So, after handing in the last assignment which I ran and panted like hell up the SB hill, I managed to beat the clock and submitted the Neuromancer book review (which I read and vomitted blood and hence my lateness) and an analysis of Diffusion of Innovations theory on digital TV.
To sum up, as much as it is a sigh of relief for no more dreadful lectures, sleepy tutorials and rushing project deadlines, there is a part of me that will miss the entertaining lecturers, inquistive tutorial activties and the adrenalin of beating the dot of project submissions.
I'm pretty sure I mentioned somewhere earlier in this blog that I have learned and matured along the time I spent in SP along with my friend's company and lecturers' guidance.
In truth, I will miss the ever trendy yet blur Miss N, spunky P, affable Miss H, subtlely funny F, strict & motherly L, mr know-it-all L, wacky R and endearing Mr A. All of these lecturers have changed my life one way or another as they have taught me valuable lessons along the way.
In addition, I will not miss the limited variety of foodcourt 6 and look forward to what Raffles Place has to offer for the next 3 months.
I will definitely miss SP. Indefinitely.
- Benjamin
P.S. I promised not to mentioned any lecturer's names hence the alphabets.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Jaded
Well, today sucked.
Final test of my 3 years in poly. Didn't really put in much effort in revising since I practically burn my notes and drank them in some tea.
I'm a realist. A very cynical realist. I remember a few weeks back I was thinking the second most asked question in the world. "What is the meaning of life?"
After all, you come out from your mother's womb, you learn to stand up, you get empowered with knowledge and earn money with that and then all you do is wrinkle and wait to die.
I'm 19 and I already feel like a 91 year old citizen. You may argue that I have not gone through the rituals and tribunals of having to earn my dough or even starting a family.
Well, but it is like a routine that you can observe from your family. Working from 9 to 5 just to earn enough cash to pay the COE and rising ERP and whats more, to top up the CPF.
As for having kids, I already have my fair share of kids that I know that if I ever do start a family, the number 2 should more than suffice even though I am not doing my NS (National Sperm) duty of producing more.
I really wish I was young again. Like being oblivious to all your surrondings, deluded to your responsibilities and just have no care in the world like the youth I once was 4 years ago.
Maturity has sunk in during my poly years and the essence of having a exciting life has dissolved. Because what lies ahead is responsibilites to face society and family, to work, to give birth, to participate in politics, to add more funds to the CPF.
It is a never ending cycle which I'm about to enter and I basically have sum up what life is ahead of me before I reach 91.
I already burned myself out with the sense and sensibilities of life by 19. Am I jaded already?
- Benjamin
P.S. Most asked question in the world for men is "Honey, was I good enough?", for women is "Honey, are my breasts too small?"
Well, today sucked.
Final test of my 3 years in poly. Didn't really put in much effort in revising since I practically burn my notes and drank them in some tea.
I'm a realist. A very cynical realist. I remember a few weeks back I was thinking the second most asked question in the world. "What is the meaning of life?"
After all, you come out from your mother's womb, you learn to stand up, you get empowered with knowledge and earn money with that and then all you do is wrinkle and wait to die.
I'm 19 and I already feel like a 91 year old citizen. You may argue that I have not gone through the rituals and tribunals of having to earn my dough or even starting a family.
Well, but it is like a routine that you can observe from your family. Working from 9 to 5 just to earn enough cash to pay the COE and rising ERP and whats more, to top up the CPF.
As for having kids, I already have my fair share of kids that I know that if I ever do start a family, the number 2 should more than suffice even though I am not doing my NS (National Sperm) duty of producing more.
I really wish I was young again. Like being oblivious to all your surrondings, deluded to your responsibilities and just have no care in the world like the youth I once was 4 years ago.
Maturity has sunk in during my poly years and the essence of having a exciting life has dissolved. Because what lies ahead is responsibilites to face society and family, to work, to give birth, to participate in politics, to add more funds to the CPF.
It is a never ending cycle which I'm about to enter and I basically have sum up what life is ahead of me before I reach 91.
I already burned myself out with the sense and sensibilities of life by 19. Am I jaded already?
- Benjamin
P.S. Most asked question in the world for men is "Honey, was I good enough?", for women is "Honey, are my breasts too small?"
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Wake-up call
I guess today was a wake-up call that public scrutinity has came knocking upon your door.
The tabloid "The New Paper" centrefold featured all the myDreamD8 contestants and every week, there will be a panel of judges that will feature the interesting people that they interviewed prior to the launch party.
Some comments were rather caustic to Shaun and Wendy, some were complimentary. Either case, it certainly puts one on the spotlight and reflect what you said to them in that short span of 10 minutes to those reporters.
Be it mine good or bad, I responded spontaneously and what was truly said was me. Oh well, shove it. What do i really care about what they say anyway?
What truly matters is what we hold in our own beliefs and values and live life the way we please. No matter what stupid gurggling words came out from my filthy mouth in that 10 minutes isn't gonna affect my life anyway even though i'm still liable under Singapore laws for defamatory remarks.
A-N-Y-W-AY. Test tommorrow, gotta work hard for the final test of the semester. Busily cramming now and just wanted to blog to destress. So there. End of detoxification period.
- Benjamin
I guess today was a wake-up call that public scrutinity has came knocking upon your door.
The tabloid "The New Paper" centrefold featured all the myDreamD8 contestants and every week, there will be a panel of judges that will feature the interesting people that they interviewed prior to the launch party.
Some comments were rather caustic to Shaun and Wendy, some were complimentary. Either case, it certainly puts one on the spotlight and reflect what you said to them in that short span of 10 minutes to those reporters.
Be it mine good or bad, I responded spontaneously and what was truly said was me. Oh well, shove it. What do i really care about what they say anyway?
What truly matters is what we hold in our own beliefs and values and live life the way we please. No matter what stupid gurggling words came out from my filthy mouth in that 10 minutes isn't gonna affect my life anyway even though i'm still liable under Singapore laws for defamatory remarks.
A-N-Y-W-AY. Test tommorrow, gotta work hard for the final test of the semester. Busily cramming now and just wanted to blog to destress. So there. End of detoxification period.
- Benjamin
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Rogue
Rewind to a few days back when it was the launch party.
It was nerve-wrecking yet exciting to be one of the 20 finalists like the American Idol without the adulation.
Pictures of Rogue party
Being in the spotlight, instead of our singing talents, our personality and our looks were showcased to maximum effect to appeal for people to vote for us.
Like I've said earlier, I count my blessings that I'm in it and I just want to gather as much friends from this experience as far as possible. I don't give a damn about the money.
Friendships are priceless.
Yeah, some people say it might be dumb to even consider not winning or giving some challenge to the top contenders but realistically, I know the standards and all I have to reply to that is to give my very best and blog what the real Me.
Seriously, this game is not about backstabbing or political, it is just how well you can reach to your niche, your crowd and your target audience.
With a diverse field out there, who knows what it is based on. If you do not like the mole on my face, you choose not to vote for me. If you think i'm arrogant, you choose to "voodoo" me.
In any case, the criteria that any person is basing on is not like the American idol where it is simply about image, talent and charisma. It also happens to be based on how each individual out there thinks about this blogger writes, express him/herself and his portrayal.
Seriously. If anybody is to narrow it down, I propose it to be a "my dream date" list, where a person has the makings of someone you see as a potential date you can bring home to see your mother or to go clubbing with.
Either case, maybe then it is fair to say the least.
On another note, every of the other 19 finalists has a great personality and it is still anybody's game. I also want to present the gratitiude to my DMC coursemates who came down to support me and Wendy.
- Benjamin
Rewind to a few days back when it was the launch party.
It was nerve-wrecking yet exciting to be one of the 20 finalists like the American Idol without the adulation.
Pictures of Rogue party
Being in the spotlight, instead of our singing talents, our personality and our looks were showcased to maximum effect to appeal for people to vote for us.
Like I've said earlier, I count my blessings that I'm in it and I just want to gather as much friends from this experience as far as possible. I don't give a damn about the money.
Friendships are priceless.
Yeah, some people say it might be dumb to even consider not winning or giving some challenge to the top contenders but realistically, I know the standards and all I have to reply to that is to give my very best and blog what the real Me.
Seriously, this game is not about backstabbing or political, it is just how well you can reach to your niche, your crowd and your target audience.
With a diverse field out there, who knows what it is based on. If you do not like the mole on my face, you choose not to vote for me. If you think i'm arrogant, you choose to "voodoo" me.
In any case, the criteria that any person is basing on is not like the American idol where it is simply about image, talent and charisma. It also happens to be based on how each individual out there thinks about this blogger writes, express him/herself and his portrayal.
Seriously. If anybody is to narrow it down, I propose it to be a "my dream date" list, where a person has the makings of someone you see as a potential date you can bring home to see your mother or to go clubbing with.
Either case, maybe then it is fair to say the least.
On another note, every of the other 19 finalists has a great personality and it is still anybody's game. I also want to present the gratitiude to my DMC coursemates who came down to support me and Wendy.
- Benjamin
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Rejuvenation
Since I was out at school by 10 am today, I decided to have a swim.
Simply put, it was a long time since I swam and the feeling of being the water was just exhilrating because sometimes, you just need to get out of the normal life that you have been regulating towards and just step back and smell the chlorine water.
Being an arrogant ass I am, I swam full 16 laps today. Bite me. Yes, it is uncomparable to what national swimmers go through but it was pretty relaxing and strenuous (yes I know, oxymoronic) as I gritted my teeth and was determined to finish my laps.
A little background thrown in, I'm not really a sporty person and the reason i'm training up is in lieu of the NAPFA test that I am about to take soon so I just wanted to feel energized for the hell that I'm going to go through.
Instead, I didn't feel energized but more rejuvenated. I had initially aimed for 10 laps but I just swam more and more even though I had a leg injury from the past bothering me. I felt like Celine Dion in a KTV bar for 24 hours.
I know. Freaky.
I'm now more determined to gulp more chlorine water and will NEVER procrastinate on my exercises anymore. I have decided to incorporate a daily jog and a swim in my now less busy schedule as school is rounding up and it seems that I can channel more of my timely resources to the physical aspects of my life.
On a sad note though, school is finishing soon and I do not wish to part with it.
On a nervous note, the party is tommorrow and yikes, I seriously do not know what I'm getting myself into.
On a positive note, I smell like chlorine.
- Benjamin
Since I was out at school by 10 am today, I decided to have a swim.
Simply put, it was a long time since I swam and the feeling of being the water was just exhilrating because sometimes, you just need to get out of the normal life that you have been regulating towards and just step back and smell the chlorine water.
Being an arrogant ass I am, I swam full 16 laps today. Bite me. Yes, it is uncomparable to what national swimmers go through but it was pretty relaxing and strenuous (yes I know, oxymoronic) as I gritted my teeth and was determined to finish my laps.
A little background thrown in, I'm not really a sporty person and the reason i'm training up is in lieu of the NAPFA test that I am about to take soon so I just wanted to feel energized for the hell that I'm going to go through.
Instead, I didn't feel energized but more rejuvenated. I had initially aimed for 10 laps but I just swam more and more even though I had a leg injury from the past bothering me. I felt like Celine Dion in a KTV bar for 24 hours.
I know. Freaky.
I'm now more determined to gulp more chlorine water and will NEVER procrastinate on my exercises anymore. I have decided to incorporate a daily jog and a swim in my now less busy schedule as school is rounding up and it seems that I can channel more of my timely resources to the physical aspects of my life.
On a sad note though, school is finishing soon and I do not wish to part with it.
On a nervous note, the party is tommorrow and yikes, I seriously do not know what I'm getting myself into.
On a positive note, I smell like chlorine.
- Benjamin
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Bowled over by a Beauty
Today, I was at MediaCorp studios to do voice recording for a DreamD8 promotional trailer.
Along with me was John, Wendy, Jase, Janice, Nic and Shaun. I wasn't feeling star struck or anything like that knowing i was going to the country's biggest TV station and all.
We bumped into many celebrities though, one of them was Ah-Do, the construction worker turned singer. I half expected him to be smaller but he has really this oversized broad shoulders look and I wasn't wow over that but it was nice to put a face in real life to the songs I enjoy crooning to once upon a time.
However, I was wowed by the lovely Jamie Yeo. Now, many people have read gossip columns of her being nasty or being demanding and I don't even trust the Singaporean papparrazzi if there was even one because it is so tame that I hardly even hear a whimper from them. Hardly hear equates to hardly trust or to the extent of belief or to any truth at all.
Digressing. Grr.... Jamie Yeo was really so nice. She was affable, she was bubbly and she was gorgeous.
Today, I was at MediaCorp studios to do voice recording for a DreamD8 promotional trailer.
Along with me was John, Wendy, Jase, Janice, Nic and Shaun. I wasn't feeling star struck or anything like that knowing i was going to the country's biggest TV station and all.
We bumped into many celebrities though, one of them was Ah-Do, the construction worker turned singer. I half expected him to be smaller but he has really this oversized broad shoulders look and I wasn't wow over that but it was nice to put a face in real life to the songs I enjoy crooning to once upon a time.
However, I was wowed by the lovely Jamie Yeo. Now, many people have read gossip columns of her being nasty or being demanding and I don't even trust the Singaporean papparrazzi if there was even one because it is so tame that I hardly even hear a whimper from them. Hardly hear equates to hardly trust or to the extent of belief or to any truth at all.
Digressing. Grr.... Jamie Yeo was really so nice. She was affable, she was bubbly and she was gorgeous.
Babe and geek alert
I was a little dumbstruck when I knew she was gonna do the voice recording for her. I never envisioned her as a babe even though she dresses sexily on FHM covers but with her shrinked top and her low waist jeans, ermmm .... yes she would make a perfect Dream Date for me if Singtel ever organizes one for me lol.
Only thing though, I would just melt and freeze up, because you do not want to offend her or say anything to destroy the perfect moment with her as she is like a goddess lol.
Okay, i'm daydreaming, someone kick me in the head because I'm certainly bowled over.
I'm a groupie. Bite me.
- Benjamin
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Fads, Fats and Facts
Well it's Feburary 14th again.
What can i say? Saint Valentine did something to make the whole city dedicate this day to him, so it must worth something.
For those single people out there, V day would be one of their most dreadful days. There will be some who will have their dosage of cable TV with snacks and cup noodles to munch up all the loving they need and for some, they will go out there and proclaim the happiness of their singlehood.
These singles call it Friendship Awareness Day (FAD) or Fats Accumulation Time (FAT).
Whatever FAD or FAT, all singles (including me) need to be aware of the FACT that we are single, we do not have a significant other or we just do not like the idea of being tied down.
Acknowledge the prescene of love and your lack of it in your current life. So what if others are holding hands, producing electricity or having sex in the kitchen now as we speak. It is their day of love. (even though I still think it is a marketing ploy)
They also went through a tough time before, they have fallen in and out of love before and have gone through the same as you before, being sad, lonely and miserable of their singlehood and rejoice at being carefree on V day.
It is all about fate. You can either go out and create it or you just wait for the chances to fall on your lap. Either case, love is bound to come a knocking.
For all the single people out there, here is a thought.
Couples or lovebirds, can quarrel all day, every hour for 364 days in their year and try to sweep all of it under the carpet with the pretense of having perfect love on Valentine's Day.
Singles, they can binge on any food they want without a care of their waistline of how their lovers will think of them and their salary is spent exclusively to their own benefits. They can be selfish without being sinful by "not taking consideration of the needs of others" It is only on V day when they have to take a 24 hour hermit hibernation.
Being in love is full of compromises sometimes. There are pros and cons of being attached and being single. Happy 364 days and being miserable on 1 day or Compromise 364 days and deluded 1 day.
You decide.
Happy Miserable Singles Day,
Benjamin
Well it's Feburary 14th again.
What can i say? Saint Valentine did something to make the whole city dedicate this day to him, so it must worth something.
For those single people out there, V day would be one of their most dreadful days. There will be some who will have their dosage of cable TV with snacks and cup noodles to munch up all the loving they need and for some, they will go out there and proclaim the happiness of their singlehood.
These singles call it Friendship Awareness Day (FAD) or Fats Accumulation Time (FAT).
Whatever FAD or FAT, all singles (including me) need to be aware of the FACT that we are single, we do not have a significant other or we just do not like the idea of being tied down.
Acknowledge the prescene of love and your lack of it in your current life. So what if others are holding hands, producing electricity or having sex in the kitchen now as we speak. It is their day of love. (even though I still think it is a marketing ploy)
They also went through a tough time before, they have fallen in and out of love before and have gone through the same as you before, being sad, lonely and miserable of their singlehood and rejoice at being carefree on V day.
It is all about fate. You can either go out and create it or you just wait for the chances to fall on your lap. Either case, love is bound to come a knocking.
For all the single people out there, here is a thought.
Couples or lovebirds, can quarrel all day, every hour for 364 days in their year and try to sweep all of it under the carpet with the pretense of having perfect love on Valentine's Day.
Singles, they can binge on any food they want without a care of their waistline of how their lovers will think of them and their salary is spent exclusively to their own benefits. They can be selfish without being sinful by "not taking consideration of the needs of others" It is only on V day when they have to take a 24 hour hermit hibernation.
Being in love is full of compromises sometimes. There are pros and cons of being attached and being single. Happy 364 days and being miserable on 1 day or Compromise 364 days and deluded 1 day.
You decide.
Happy Miserable Singles Day,
Benjamin
Sheshas
Only 8 of the DreamD8ties came forth on the proclaimed unluckiest day of the world.
Me, John, Janice, Wendy, Selena, Irfan, Jack and Darryl.
We went to Cafe Samar, a pricey Shisha cafe according to Irfan along Arab Street and to some of us, it was an eye opener.
I never tried a Shisha before, but it is just like smoking a fag, only 10 times milder without all the harmful effects like brain tumour and cardiac failure. You will get the hang of it after a few puffs
I had the double apple flavour and to taste it, you had to to suck all the essence from the core which will be filtered through the water, after which you blow it all out like Mount. Vesivus fart. It was just idyllic to just chat and shi-sha as we did for 4 hours or so.
Chat we did indeed. All 8 of us was in a constant barrage of input to share with everyone, allowing us to share a glimpse of another's exciting life experiences.
The disturbing part was we discussed taboo topics which were rather unnerving to me.
Like a pyschotic movie scene to cannibalism to violent rape scenes to religious practices.
John was the storyteller, he has loads of stories to share and some were pretty eerie for me like the tale of the pyramid mystery discoverer who eventually died mysteriously the day before he wanted to reveal his findings.
Irfan was the nice guy, he exudes nice-ness and apologise profusely for being late. The reason he is a nice guy too because he saved me on my cab fare. = P
Wendy, Selena and Janice were the gossipy ones even though they defended themselves by proclaming it as "a sharing discussion". On the way to Arab street from Bugis, the gals glib and glab like chattering monkeys and were a exchanging "how to get flies off my hair" tips.
Somehow, I had a strange feeling that we were all in a reality show of Survivor. I was the geek, Janice was the flowerpot, Jack the busy guy, Darryl the cool buddy, Selena was the sociable one, John was the one who shared alot, Irfan the nice guy and Wendy the horny one.
It is like criminal profiling where each of us has a particular characteristic that appeals to the youth and hence, we're in this reality show like the organizers picked. us for. I do not know how the rest measure up but meeting up with these individuals with different personalities, it is an experience itself to treasure.
It only came to my realization at 12 midnight that I had a mock interview in the wee morning and I wanted to smoke myself over with a sheesha with bliss and not care about it.
I just can't wait for us to meet up again this Thursday. Yikes!
Before I go, the pictures of the Shesha gathering.
- Benjamin
P.S. For those lazy ones, here are some to wheat your appetite.
Only 8 of the DreamD8ties came forth on the proclaimed unluckiest day of the world.
Me, John, Janice, Wendy, Selena, Irfan, Jack and Darryl.
We went to Cafe Samar, a pricey Shisha cafe according to Irfan along Arab Street and to some of us, it was an eye opener.
I never tried a Shisha before, but it is just like smoking a fag, only 10 times milder without all the harmful effects like brain tumour and cardiac failure. You will get the hang of it after a few puffs
I had the double apple flavour and to taste it, you had to to suck all the essence from the core which will be filtered through the water, after which you blow it all out like Mount. Vesivus fart. It was just idyllic to just chat and shi-sha as we did for 4 hours or so.
Chat we did indeed. All 8 of us was in a constant barrage of input to share with everyone, allowing us to share a glimpse of another's exciting life experiences.
The disturbing part was we discussed taboo topics which were rather unnerving to me.
Like a pyschotic movie scene to cannibalism to violent rape scenes to religious practices.
John was the storyteller, he has loads of stories to share and some were pretty eerie for me like the tale of the pyramid mystery discoverer who eventually died mysteriously the day before he wanted to reveal his findings.
Irfan was the nice guy, he exudes nice-ness and apologise profusely for being late. The reason he is a nice guy too because he saved me on my cab fare. = P
Wendy, Selena and Janice were the gossipy ones even though they defended themselves by proclaming it as "a sharing discussion". On the way to Arab street from Bugis, the gals glib and glab like chattering monkeys and were a exchanging "how to get flies off my hair" tips.
Somehow, I had a strange feeling that we were all in a reality show of Survivor. I was the geek, Janice was the flowerpot, Jack the busy guy, Darryl the cool buddy, Selena was the sociable one, John was the one who shared alot, Irfan the nice guy and Wendy the horny one.
It is like criminal profiling where each of us has a particular characteristic that appeals to the youth and hence, we're in this reality show like the organizers picked. us for. I do not know how the rest measure up but meeting up with these individuals with different personalities, it is an experience itself to treasure.
It only came to my realization at 12 midnight that I had a mock interview in the wee morning and I wanted to smoke myself over with a sheesha with bliss and not care about it.
I just can't wait for us to meet up again this Thursday. Yikes!
Before I go, the pictures of the Shesha gathering.
- Benjamin
P.S. For those lazy ones, here are some to wheat your appetite.
For the uneducated, a new age version of a clarinet aka Shesha
Irfan, Jack and Me. Proud to be single.
The tribe of Dreamdates.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Shopping for a cause
Well, after knowing where I was placed at my internship, I got down to the nitty and gritty.
I investigated and researched on the corporate culture and their management style to prep myself on what to expect next.
I shall not name my internship for reasons of their privacy.
So, I went shopping for corporate clothes. Having a decent stash of few long-sleeved shirts and one black pants, it wouldn't last me and make a "decent" impression if I am going to last for 3 months without being scorned on.
An advertising executive has to be vibrant and adaptable, assess the situation and make strategic moves. My strategy is to learn as much as possible from my internship and make an impression. I hope to stay on after my 3 months until I get called up by the army but in order to do that, there was a need for vamping up my wardrobe.
Shopping was the natural order of the day. After collecting my phone (a 3650), I went to Marina Square and Suntec. The Metro sales opened the floodgates of my wallet as the prices are really jaw-breaking and G2000 shirts were all so prim and proper and even though my bank account is next to depletion, it is an investment well spent.
Barely 5 hours of pre-dawn clubbing, it was 5 hours of frantic shopping of pre-evening shopping. My legs are surely getting the work out it needs in preperation for the army.
What a sinful day !
- Benjamin
Well, after knowing where I was placed at my internship, I got down to the nitty and gritty.
I investigated and researched on the corporate culture and their management style to prep myself on what to expect next.
I shall not name my internship for reasons of their privacy.
So, I went shopping for corporate clothes. Having a decent stash of few long-sleeved shirts and one black pants, it wouldn't last me and make a "decent" impression if I am going to last for 3 months without being scorned on.
An advertising executive has to be vibrant and adaptable, assess the situation and make strategic moves. My strategy is to learn as much as possible from my internship and make an impression. I hope to stay on after my 3 months until I get called up by the army but in order to do that, there was a need for vamping up my wardrobe.
Shopping was the natural order of the day. After collecting my phone (a 3650), I went to Marina Square and Suntec. The Metro sales opened the floodgates of my wallet as the prices are really jaw-breaking and G2000 shirts were all so prim and proper and even though my bank account is next to depletion, it is an investment well spent.
Barely 5 hours of pre-dawn clubbing, it was 5 hours of frantic shopping of pre-evening shopping. My legs are surely getting the work out it needs in preperation for the army.
What a sinful day !
- Benjamin
Mambo Dumbo
4.44am. I'm a bimbo in the pubbing scene really.
Was on a virgin encounter at Zouk and it was an astounding eye-opener.
The gyrating hips, the grooving music and the haze of stale smoke air lived up to Zouk reputation from all the gossips that I've heard and finally able to piece it up visually first hand myself.
I'm shagged from the dancing, drinking and inhaling smoke passively. I'm heading to the bed first and I shall return to blog after I return from school tommorrow which starts at 11 am.
I'm so looking forward to it. Sleep, that is.
*********************************************************************************************
9.08 am. Suprisingly, I had no hangover.
I don't normally drink alcohol but I guess I can hold myself, mustering the couage to sip from anoymous bottles of e-33 and unknown jugs of liquids of bourbon coke, vodka lime, vodka ribena and god knows what. I was sober though unlike my cuzzy, Daphne, who became groggy in a little over an hour or so after midnight madness.
I forgot to add on that the blaring music and my constant screaming made me hoarse but screaming like a maniac with the music, there is a sense of liberalism that you do not get often, something like screaming at the Grand Canyon to let all your frustrations out only that in Singapore, there are only 2 places, the beach at East Coast Park and the Grand LongKang at some uullu uullu place.
The music selection was okay, me being here for the first time and furthermore, my friends tease me about my erratic dance moves.
"I gave it (dance moves) my best shot. I have no regrets"
Something to learn from the infamous quote from the famous William Hung. I was half expecting a "She Bangs" version as a climax at 3 am but nope, it was all Mambo no.5.
Amazingly, to conclude, even though I smell like a cigaratte bud, dance like Mr Mr 7up Fido Dido and exhausted myself like a sweating dog till 2 am, it was an overwhelming experience with my pals of Eric, Aaron, Xue Fang, Dawn and Wen Jun as it was truly a night to remember for me.
I don't see myself doing this everyday of course, once in three or four weeks perhaps, to distress myself from any problems. Some people might rant that clubbing is essentially about posers and a waste of your bloody time but I just want to comment that the essence is having a good time.
You only live once. Live it well when you're young.
- Benjamin
4.44am. I'm a bimbo in the pubbing scene really.
Was on a virgin encounter at Zouk and it was an astounding eye-opener.
The gyrating hips, the grooving music and the haze of stale smoke air lived up to Zouk reputation from all the gossips that I've heard and finally able to piece it up visually first hand myself.
I'm shagged from the dancing, drinking and inhaling smoke passively. I'm heading to the bed first and I shall return to blog after I return from school tommorrow which starts at 11 am.
I'm so looking forward to it. Sleep, that is.
*********************************************************************************************
9.08 am. Suprisingly, I had no hangover.
I don't normally drink alcohol but I guess I can hold myself, mustering the couage to sip from anoymous bottles of e-33 and unknown jugs of liquids of bourbon coke, vodka lime, vodka ribena and god knows what. I was sober though unlike my cuzzy, Daphne, who became groggy in a little over an hour or so after midnight madness.
I forgot to add on that the blaring music and my constant screaming made me hoarse but screaming like a maniac with the music, there is a sense of liberalism that you do not get often, something like screaming at the Grand Canyon to let all your frustrations out only that in Singapore, there are only 2 places, the beach at East Coast Park and the Grand LongKang at some uullu uullu place.
The music selection was okay, me being here for the first time and furthermore, my friends tease me about my erratic dance moves.
"I gave it (dance moves) my best shot. I have no regrets"
Something to learn from the infamous quote from the famous William Hung. I was half expecting a "She Bangs" version as a climax at 3 am but nope, it was all Mambo no.5.
Amazingly, to conclude, even though I smell like a cigaratte bud, dance like Mr Mr 7up Fido Dido and exhausted myself like a sweating dog till 2 am, it was an overwhelming experience with my pals of Eric, Aaron, Xue Fang, Dawn and Wen Jun as it was truly a night to remember for me.
I don't see myself doing this everyday of course, once in three or four weeks perhaps, to distress myself from any problems. Some people might rant that clubbing is essentially about posers and a waste of your bloody time but I just want to comment that the essence is having a good time.
You only live once. Live it well when you're young.
- Benjamin
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Being bugged
In the midst of contemplating to going to school while at the toilet bowl, I decided to skip lecture.
Lecture was at 9, travelling is an hour and I was still making a dump at 8.20 and since there was only 1 lecture today, I decided to be devilish.
Now online in the wee morning where everyone is trudging themselves to work and wearily shifting their body to school, i feel a bit tad bored and decided to make up for my pontang sin.
I decided that i'm going to go get some exercise and breakfast.
Will give you updates at the end of the day.
Something particular happen though, it seems that since yesterday Windows XP has been slowing down and keeps jamming, I downloaded some virus scan to disinfect me but keeps getting slower and slower. I might be infected with some bugs.
It is just strange that 2003 & 2004 are getting notorious of bugs be it the flu, computer virus or those on your bed. It seems that in some wacky way or another, bugs will eventually take over world.
Like genetic mutations where bugs aka flies and mosquitoes will be as big as a tissue box and they suck out blood like a dracula or code modifications where computer viruses become harder to detect and can penetrate any platforms with ease.
It is just worrying that I'm admist this transition of a bug domination which I will predict will take over the cyborgs, clone and artificial intelligence who will be our next upcoming challengers of rulers of the world. Only bugs will survive. C'mon, cockroaches survived the dinosaurs. What are we to them ?
- Benjamin
In the midst of contemplating to going to school while at the toilet bowl, I decided to skip lecture.
Lecture was at 9, travelling is an hour and I was still making a dump at 8.20 and since there was only 1 lecture today, I decided to be devilish.
Now online in the wee morning where everyone is trudging themselves to work and wearily shifting their body to school, i feel a bit tad bored and decided to make up for my pontang sin.
I decided that i'm going to go get some exercise and breakfast.
Will give you updates at the end of the day.
Something particular happen though, it seems that since yesterday Windows XP has been slowing down and keeps jamming, I downloaded some virus scan to disinfect me but keeps getting slower and slower. I might be infected with some bugs.
It is just strange that 2003 & 2004 are getting notorious of bugs be it the flu, computer virus or those on your bed. It seems that in some wacky way or another, bugs will eventually take over world.
Like genetic mutations where bugs aka flies and mosquitoes will be as big as a tissue box and they suck out blood like a dracula or code modifications where computer viruses become harder to detect and can penetrate any platforms with ease.
It is just worrying that I'm admist this transition of a bug domination which I will predict will take over the cyborgs, clone and artificial intelligence who will be our next upcoming challengers of rulers of the world. Only bugs will survive. C'mon, cockroaches survived the dinosaurs. What are we to them ?
- Benjamin
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Feeling Floaty
With a presentation done, all you can do is feel light-hearted.
Like you just handed in your thesis and you will get a Phd tommorrow.
Yeah, that feeling. Relief and ectasy.
So i felt nonsensical and decided to add a crappy section called "half-cocked theories of mine" which is relatively all about stupid thoughts that are combined to a theory. I find it rather amusing myself.
What amused me though was tonight where I watched Duplex. I won't give a movie review and I just like antics even though it was lame but with the flutter of the floaty feeling of getting permanant head damage after a presentaion, I just feel light.
- Benjamin
With a presentation done, all you can do is feel light-hearted.
Like you just handed in your thesis and you will get a Phd tommorrow.
Yeah, that feeling. Relief and ectasy.
So i felt nonsensical and decided to add a crappy section called "half-cocked theories of mine" which is relatively all about stupid thoughts that are combined to a theory. I find it rather amusing myself.
What amused me though was tonight where I watched Duplex. I won't give a movie review and I just like antics even though it was lame but with the flutter of the floaty feeling of getting permanant head damage after a presentaion, I just feel light.
- Benjamin
Monday, February 09, 2004
Project Rush
The last project proposal that I will ever complete in my last three years in Singapore Polytechnic.
And I did in usual fashion. Last minute.
Even though we planned out everything on the platter on which section (information) will be swallowed up and regurgitated out on the proposal, it only took until Friday before the first influx of vomit (rephrased and redrafted text) was emailed to me.
Hence, yesterday and this morning AM was torture for me. That is because for the past 16 hours, I have been rewording, reading and reviewing literature about biometrics which can get too technical and all so boring after the first opening paragraph and all you want to do is tune off.
But no, the report we had was quite well fished out where we built the skeleton and we intend to complete it. Felicia came over on Saturday, stayed for 2 hrs and Aaron came over to stay. It was only 5 am before I finally finished it. And I had to wake up at 6.15am to reach school so as to print it.
I woke Aaron up and after I prepared everything, he was still asleep at 7 am. What a dope !
Suprisingly, even though i had only 1 hour of sleep, I was able to be alert for the time I was at school until I reached home at 1 pm before I plonk into my soft coffin in bliss.
What a roller coaster ride since yesterday ! Coupled with the very fact I had just recovered and placed back on the fast track of project stress, is education worth living for ?
We study so hard, only to end up getting a piece of paper and start off at the bottom. I prefer the idea of starting off as an apprenticeship but no no no, the singapore system is all about academics, memory work and theories.
Although it is diverting off to another path now of creative thinking, is it a bit tad too little too late? I'm not slamming the government but everytime you make a move, you are always either late or just behind someone else.
When can we singaporeans, or even our ownselfs, revolutionize and set the bar ?
- Benjamin
The last project proposal that I will ever complete in my last three years in Singapore Polytechnic.
And I did in usual fashion. Last minute.
Even though we planned out everything on the platter on which section (information) will be swallowed up and regurgitated out on the proposal, it only took until Friday before the first influx of vomit (rephrased and redrafted text) was emailed to me.
Hence, yesterday and this morning AM was torture for me. That is because for the past 16 hours, I have been rewording, reading and reviewing literature about biometrics which can get too technical and all so boring after the first opening paragraph and all you want to do is tune off.
But no, the report we had was quite well fished out where we built the skeleton and we intend to complete it. Felicia came over on Saturday, stayed for 2 hrs and Aaron came over to stay. It was only 5 am before I finally finished it. And I had to wake up at 6.15am to reach school so as to print it.
I woke Aaron up and after I prepared everything, he was still asleep at 7 am. What a dope !
Suprisingly, even though i had only 1 hour of sleep, I was able to be alert for the time I was at school until I reached home at 1 pm before I plonk into my soft coffin in bliss.
What a roller coaster ride since yesterday ! Coupled with the very fact I had just recovered and placed back on the fast track of project stress, is education worth living for ?
We study so hard, only to end up getting a piece of paper and start off at the bottom. I prefer the idea of starting off as an apprenticeship but no no no, the singapore system is all about academics, memory work and theories.
Although it is diverting off to another path now of creative thinking, is it a bit tad too little too late? I'm not slamming the government but everytime you make a move, you are always either late or just behind someone else.
When can we singaporeans, or even our ownselfs, revolutionize and set the bar ?
- Benjamin
Sunday, February 08, 2004
Perks
Still slight sick, with a blocked nose, should recover by tonight unless some pigeon at my window passes me some deadly flu.
Before I go into detail the Singtel competition that I have entered, let me backtracked you a few days back.
I was sick but I had to go down to my school to report on the Courses and Careers Fair. It is an event where the school strips naked and begs for students to explore them and eventually choose them as their first choice.
SP did a fantastic job of stripping. We had the convention centre area, we had a student lifestyle festival, we had the school of busines tours, we had the innovex, we had to concourse and we had so many things for them to do and all of these prospective students were in awe.
I was interviewing some of them and some went to Ngee Ann Poly and Nanyang Poly. Note, I did not fabricate this. It was all entriely the students words.
"There were no lecturers at NP to answer any questions. All they did was throw brochures in front of my face"
"The students in NP were not helpful. Even though there was a CCF going on, they did not guide me the correct way and it was a dud event when I came."
End of quotes. This is just true testimony how SP takes care of their students. EVERYONE i interviewed were more than pleased that lecturers and staff were there to handle all their queries like job opportunities, cut-off points and student-lecturer relationships. I profess, I made the right choice coming here.
Okay back to the Singtel competition. DreamD8
It is reality - blog competition where the public votes and see how good you are as a dream date.
No prizes to those I know where I will end up. I'm too young and the only thing self-promoting is my personality, which isn't much.
Anyway, I'm in it for fun and hope to meet new people. Networking is the key world. I know I won't go anywhere near the prize money which is like S$8,000. The perks of it all are the fringe benefits that you get from joining such a sponsored competition.
In my hands right now is a webcam, a free phone line, free modem and a free dial-up line. Next week, I would be getting a MMS enable phoned. All these are fully sponsored of course but I have to return them in like 3 or 4 months later. I already hear the "Chey!!!" from your side of the computer. But you must admit, these goodies are quite drool-able.
Another part worth mentioning is the Survivor part of this show where the person with the lowest votes will get the boot off the temptation island only filled with measely $8,000. All the other 19 contestants along with me looks game for fun. All of them looks like a cheery bunch. You can see them all on Feburary 14th. DreamD8
Was chatting online with some of the partipants on MSN messenger. Found out that most of us live in east and some are virgoes. Only time will tell what might happen to us next since they say there will be a host, Beatrice Chia, to stir up the pot a bit. For publicity purposes of course.
- Benjamin
Still slight sick, with a blocked nose, should recover by tonight unless some pigeon at my window passes me some deadly flu.
Before I go into detail the Singtel competition that I have entered, let me backtracked you a few days back.
I was sick but I had to go down to my school to report on the Courses and Careers Fair. It is an event where the school strips naked and begs for students to explore them and eventually choose them as their first choice.
SP did a fantastic job of stripping. We had the convention centre area, we had a student lifestyle festival, we had the school of busines tours, we had the innovex, we had to concourse and we had so many things for them to do and all of these prospective students were in awe.
I was interviewing some of them and some went to Ngee Ann Poly and Nanyang Poly. Note, I did not fabricate this. It was all entriely the students words.
"There were no lecturers at NP to answer any questions. All they did was throw brochures in front of my face"
"The students in NP were not helpful. Even though there was a CCF going on, they did not guide me the correct way and it was a dud event when I came."
End of quotes. This is just true testimony how SP takes care of their students. EVERYONE i interviewed were more than pleased that lecturers and staff were there to handle all their queries like job opportunities, cut-off points and student-lecturer relationships. I profess, I made the right choice coming here.
Okay back to the Singtel competition. DreamD8
It is reality - blog competition where the public votes and see how good you are as a dream date.
No prizes to those I know where I will end up. I'm too young and the only thing self-promoting is my personality, which isn't much.
Anyway, I'm in it for fun and hope to meet new people. Networking is the key world. I know I won't go anywhere near the prize money which is like S$8,000. The perks of it all are the fringe benefits that you get from joining such a sponsored competition.
In my hands right now is a webcam, a free phone line, free modem and a free dial-up line. Next week, I would be getting a MMS enable phoned. All these are fully sponsored of course but I have to return them in like 3 or 4 months later. I already hear the "Chey!!!" from your side of the computer. But you must admit, these goodies are quite drool-able.
Another part worth mentioning is the Survivor part of this show where the person with the lowest votes will get the boot off the temptation island only filled with measely $8,000. All the other 19 contestants along with me looks game for fun. All of them looks like a cheery bunch. You can see them all on Feburary 14th. DreamD8
Was chatting online with some of the partipants on MSN messenger. Found out that most of us live in east and some are virgoes. Only time will tell what might happen to us next since they say there will be a host, Beatrice Chia, to stir up the pot a bit. For publicity purposes of course.
- Benjamin
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Good News, Bad News
Good news is, I got called up and made the final 10.
Bad news is, I'm sick. Really sick, I've never been as sick as this before. BAD BAD FLU.
I've been dripping mucus the whole day. Throat went rusty in the late afternoon. Bad flu sneezers start occuring the whole day. I was suppose to rest but I had to cover the story of Courses and Career Fair in my school. Not in the mood to typed it right now due to hazy medicine and not so uplifting experience as a journalist.
I have used up almost closed to 2 boxes of 200 ply sheets of Softex tissues and still counting. Keep sweating on my forehead and I want to recover soon. A project report is due on Monday morning and I'm taking a break by typing here. A temporary respite to the research online and the compilation I have to do in the next two hours or so.
Don't know how long will I last with the medicine. When I start typing gibberish, I know its time.
- Benjamin
P.S. Don't come near me if you see me. I'm like Oscar the Grouch. With tissues.
Good news is, I got called up and made the final 10.
Bad news is, I'm sick. Really sick, I've never been as sick as this before. BAD BAD FLU.
I've been dripping mucus the whole day. Throat went rusty in the late afternoon. Bad flu sneezers start occuring the whole day. I was suppose to rest but I had to cover the story of Courses and Career Fair in my school. Not in the mood to typed it right now due to hazy medicine and not so uplifting experience as a journalist.
I have used up almost closed to 2 boxes of 200 ply sheets of Softex tissues and still counting. Keep sweating on my forehead and I want to recover soon. A project report is due on Monday morning and I'm taking a break by typing here. A temporary respite to the research online and the compilation I have to do in the next two hours or so.
Don't know how long will I last with the medicine. When I start typing gibberish, I know its time.
- Benjamin
P.S. Don't come near me if you see me. I'm like Oscar the Grouch. With tissues.
Friday, February 06, 2004
Internship placement
Recently, I have been very curious where of I am going to work as a slave for 3 months with peanuts pay.
Final year DMC students have been lurking around the lecturers corridors to jump out from the unsuspecting corners to suprise/give a heart attack to our internship placement lecturer, Mr Ang, so as to choke him until he reveals where he has placed them.
Apparently, EVERYONE i know already knows where they are heading. Except me. Not that i am not not interested where I am going to be placed but I cannot seem to find the right corner to suprise Mr Ang. He somehow has developed an innate ability to avoid my shadow.
I am truly tempted to call or leave an email but it seems so impersonal like i'm a harried bunny who is so impatient that he wants to know the type of carrot he is gonna swallow. I'm ain't no bunny but a calmed and composed tortoise who cannot seem to keep up with the Ang shadow. Deep inside, the heart thumps for the hidden knowledge of where I'm gonna be placed, is breaking me apart softly with anxiety.
My friends have been placed into great attachment companies. Felicia is going to Huntington Communications, an established PR firm. Aaron is going to Maybank Corporate comm department.
I wish I knew mine. Other coursemates are heading to Mediacorp publishing houses, Bates Advertising, MCDS, MITA, SIM, Bates, Gosh, BP and NIE. All of them look pretty good placements that I would love to go of course.
If I end up at a sucky organization, I could either whine about it or I just live and make do with it.
If I ever whine about it, I can put up a very STRONG case to compare with people who went to better internship companies than me with the basis of not only my results, my extra cirriculum activities AND my extra extra cirriculum actitivties related to what I have done. I'm pretty sure what I have done so far can qualify me as top 10 student because I have basically multi-task and take on every possible role I could have in school.
School Newsletter photographer, School Newspaper Journalist, helped freelance desktop publishing on a school booklet plus yearbook designer, director of a course video, public relations co-ordinator cum events management planner for my academic club and leader of a 2nd placed final year project of an integrated communications programme. I've even been on 3 student exchange programmes and have been a hardworking student. Only thing missing to make me robo-student is that I have not gone for any overseas community projects to help the needy.
If the above is not good enough reason, I don't know what will. People have called me names. Freak, Super "Eng" guy and Superman. It is a wonder how I could manage all of the above added on with school projects and CAs in my early poly years.
IF I get a lousy internship placement, I can also choose to accept fate as it is. Just work, slave and essentially try to gather as much as experience you can from that place even though rumours are that you basically charge handphones for the people there, pour coffee and photocopy your glutes during your free time.
Nonetheless, I will make my job of shredding paper as useful as possible by reading all the confidential documents and telling all their competitors. What a hoot to boot if that happens !
For better, or worse. I still don't know where I'm gonna end up. My curiosity has reached its limit and yes, its boiling towards the direction of Mr Ang. Now, if only i know which pillar is he hiding behind in.
- Benjamin
P.S. Thank you for hearing me grunt about my misery of pre-ITP. Thanks goes out to Wen Jun for being my listening ear.
Photos of my new hair that was taken at the interview place just now. It is suppose to be medium brown but nobody notices it, i think it is too mild to be seen perhaps.
Recently, I have been very curious where of I am going to work as a slave for 3 months with peanuts pay.
Final year DMC students have been lurking around the lecturers corridors to jump out from the unsuspecting corners to suprise/give a heart attack to our internship placement lecturer, Mr Ang, so as to choke him until he reveals where he has placed them.
Apparently, EVERYONE i know already knows where they are heading. Except me. Not that i am not not interested where I am going to be placed but I cannot seem to find the right corner to suprise Mr Ang. He somehow has developed an innate ability to avoid my shadow.
I am truly tempted to call or leave an email but it seems so impersonal like i'm a harried bunny who is so impatient that he wants to know the type of carrot he is gonna swallow. I'm ain't no bunny but a calmed and composed tortoise who cannot seem to keep up with the Ang shadow. Deep inside, the heart thumps for the hidden knowledge of where I'm gonna be placed, is breaking me apart softly with anxiety.
My friends have been placed into great attachment companies. Felicia is going to Huntington Communications, an established PR firm. Aaron is going to Maybank Corporate comm department.
I wish I knew mine. Other coursemates are heading to Mediacorp publishing houses, Bates Advertising, MCDS, MITA, SIM, Bates, Gosh, BP and NIE. All of them look pretty good placements that I would love to go of course.
If I end up at a sucky organization, I could either whine about it or I just live and make do with it.
If I ever whine about it, I can put up a very STRONG case to compare with people who went to better internship companies than me with the basis of not only my results, my extra cirriculum activities AND my extra extra cirriculum actitivties related to what I have done. I'm pretty sure what I have done so far can qualify me as top 10 student because I have basically multi-task and take on every possible role I could have in school.
School Newsletter photographer, School Newspaper Journalist, helped freelance desktop publishing on a school booklet plus yearbook designer, director of a course video, public relations co-ordinator cum events management planner for my academic club and leader of a 2nd placed final year project of an integrated communications programme. I've even been on 3 student exchange programmes and have been a hardworking student. Only thing missing to make me robo-student is that I have not gone for any overseas community projects to help the needy.
If the above is not good enough reason, I don't know what will. People have called me names. Freak, Super "Eng" guy and Superman. It is a wonder how I could manage all of the above added on with school projects and CAs in my early poly years.
IF I get a lousy internship placement, I can also choose to accept fate as it is. Just work, slave and essentially try to gather as much as experience you can from that place even though rumours are that you basically charge handphones for the people there, pour coffee and photocopy your glutes during your free time.
Nonetheless, I will make my job of shredding paper as useful as possible by reading all the confidential documents and telling all their competitors. What a hoot to boot if that happens !
For better, or worse. I still don't know where I'm gonna end up. My curiosity has reached its limit and yes, its boiling towards the direction of Mr Ang. Now, if only i know which pillar is he hiding behind in.
- Benjamin
P.S. Thank you for hearing me grunt about my misery of pre-ITP. Thanks goes out to Wen Jun for being my listening ear.
Photos of my new hair that was taken at the interview place just now. It is suppose to be medium brown but nobody notices it, i think it is too mild to be seen perhaps.
The butterflies were trying to escape through my eyeholes
Colgate advertisement that never saw the light of day
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Interview
Well, just an hour ago, I was being interviewed to be a dream date.
You must be puzzled. Let me fill you in. 2 months back, I stumble upon a competition called "My Dream Date". It is co-organized by Singtel and Optus (Australian Biggest Telecommunication Provider). It is a blog competition where the public have to vote for you to stay in the competition.
It being a reality show and me a shameless hussy with exhibitionist tendencies, I registered.
Back to the present, I was asked questions like these and my responses were not so good in my opinion. You see, I was selected from among 700 Singaporean contestants and I was 1 out of 21 shortlisted. It will be narrowed down to 10. My chances are slim I tell you after what I went through an hour ago.
You see, I somehow get to this "mode" when I meet strangers who are older and more mature than me. The organizer was asking me questions and although deep inside, I was not composed and frantic to answer, on the exterior, I mustered the most fluent answers I can give. I feel my responses were disorganized, out of place and did not fully answer the question.
I have a bad habit. I always lose my train of thoughts as I always try to push my point or my view towards a certain question until I forgot what the question was.
Question: What is your opinion on sex?
Answer: I think sex exists in many different forms. Mentally and physically. The physical sex as we all know are done by everyone throughout the world and ........ and I strongly feel that protection should be used at all times.
I was not asked this question but I ALWAYS lose what I was initially suppose to answer. I'm afraid next time my potential wife wants me to have babies, the reply would be:
"Babies? Sure, I would like for us to have a kid or two. We can convert the study into a nursery and then paint the whole room ourselves. Won't that be great? I need to remove the computers from the study first of course and I don't want the kids to be electrocuted. Speaking of which, I need to get a laptop .... yadda yadda.
I don't think I have any syndrome or weird speaking disease but next time, anybody ask me a question, please be aware of the following.
I will answer you question, in the first 2 sentences. After which ignore me because I have become totally irrelevant and incoherent to what you were asking. Just keep on nodding your hand as though you agree with me. After which, you ask me another question to throw me off.
Going back to the interview, another reason why I cannot get in is because I think I portrayed myself too arrogantly when I was asked to pitched myself to the viewers out there if I made it to the finals. Then again, it might be taken in as confident.
Argghhh ! I seriously want to participate in this because it looks fun and entertaining, I just don't know whether I survive the 50% cut. Only time will tell. 7 pm Friday. If I don't get in, I wish all the best to my buddy, Wendy, who is confident of her place in it already.
I sound so pessimistic about my chances. I want to downplay myself because if I don't get in, at least I already knew I gave up long ago. I'm a pyscho. Bite me. = P
- Benjamin
Well, just an hour ago, I was being interviewed to be a dream date.
You must be puzzled. Let me fill you in. 2 months back, I stumble upon a competition called "My Dream Date". It is co-organized by Singtel and Optus (Australian Biggest Telecommunication Provider). It is a blog competition where the public have to vote for you to stay in the competition.
It being a reality show and me a shameless hussy with exhibitionist tendencies, I registered.
Back to the present, I was asked questions like these and my responses were not so good in my opinion. You see, I was selected from among 700 Singaporean contestants and I was 1 out of 21 shortlisted. It will be narrowed down to 10. My chances are slim I tell you after what I went through an hour ago.
You see, I somehow get to this "mode" when I meet strangers who are older and more mature than me. The organizer was asking me questions and although deep inside, I was not composed and frantic to answer, on the exterior, I mustered the most fluent answers I can give. I feel my responses were disorganized, out of place and did not fully answer the question.
I have a bad habit. I always lose my train of thoughts as I always try to push my point or my view towards a certain question until I forgot what the question was.
Question: What is your opinion on sex?
Answer: I think sex exists in many different forms. Mentally and physically. The physical sex as we all know are done by everyone throughout the world and ........ and I strongly feel that protection should be used at all times.
I was not asked this question but I ALWAYS lose what I was initially suppose to answer. I'm afraid next time my potential wife wants me to have babies, the reply would be:
"Babies? Sure, I would like for us to have a kid or two. We can convert the study into a nursery and then paint the whole room ourselves. Won't that be great? I need to remove the computers from the study first of course and I don't want the kids to be electrocuted. Speaking of which, I need to get a laptop .... yadda yadda.
I don't think I have any syndrome or weird speaking disease but next time, anybody ask me a question, please be aware of the following.
I will answer you question, in the first 2 sentences. After which ignore me because I have become totally irrelevant and incoherent to what you were asking. Just keep on nodding your hand as though you agree with me. After which, you ask me another question to throw me off.
Going back to the interview, another reason why I cannot get in is because I think I portrayed myself too arrogantly when I was asked to pitched myself to the viewers out there if I made it to the finals. Then again, it might be taken in as confident.
Argghhh ! I seriously want to participate in this because it looks fun and entertaining, I just don't know whether I survive the 50% cut. Only time will tell. 7 pm Friday. If I don't get in, I wish all the best to my buddy, Wendy, who is confident of her place in it already.
I sound so pessimistic about my chances. I want to downplay myself because if I don't get in, at least I already knew I gave up long ago. I'm a pyscho. Bite me. = P
- Benjamin
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Hope
I did something really silly today.
I made an effort to queue up in the endless snake of hopeful singaporeans heartlanders in the dreams of the 10 million jackpot.
Not that I expect to win any of it but while I was in the queue, I looked at all the faces. Aunties with sagging eyebags and droopy chins with large jade bangles, young executives in formal attire shading the boxes discreetly and the Filipino maids who are being nannies to their employees kids, chattering away in a language foreign to me.
There are so many different personalities out there but all of them are in the search of that hope. The hope to win it big. To have a complete makeover, to establish themselves in Shenton Way and to provide material comforts to the family back home.
If hope was suppose to be optimistic, it wasn't showing gamely on the faces of these queuers. Strangely enough, everyone queuing was basically frustrated or impatient, or the fact that all of them look forlorn, or just plain embarrassed of their prescene here to hit the jackpot like everyone else who was equally frustrated, impatient, forlorn and embarrassed. I felt the same way too, I didn't belong here. I just answered the call of my Dad who asked me to "try".
Try as I may, shading 7 out of 45 boxes, what are the chances of me getting the Toto jackpot prize of S$10 million? My chances are like 1 in 10 million but my dad wanted me to take a shot. The auntie, the executive and the maid also wants that shot, that hope, that dream of 10 million bucks. Ever wondered if people did not hope and know the harsh realities of life, what would be life after then when hope is nonexistent?
There would be no more gambling, no more stock market speculations, no more miracles at hospitals. Hope, is the very essence inside of everyone that people draw upon on, but discard when they get lucky in scenarios. Hope is everything to many but in fact, is just a term that reality drags upon and which people pin their expectations on. They can possess all hope in a minute, and lose all hope in a second.
Today, I got a reality check. Friends of close friends that I know of are getting attached like runaway couples without my knowledge. It just reminds me of the misery of what I have not fully experienced yet. Not that i am depressed but I question myself with "What ifs?" towards relationships, and then you will wonder what have I been doing wrong.
I know the hope of being loved by someone is all decided by fate. But I cling on to the hope that fate gets to me faster than those 7 winning numbers that will appear on my Toto ticket.
Money, not love, can be won by a $3.50 piece of paper. Because all it possess is hope.
- Benjamin
P.S. I dyed my hair brown today, it ain't obvious but I will provide photos tomorrow. I hope you won't think it's ugly.
I did something really silly today.
I made an effort to queue up in the endless snake of hopeful singaporeans heartlanders in the dreams of the 10 million jackpot.
Not that I expect to win any of it but while I was in the queue, I looked at all the faces. Aunties with sagging eyebags and droopy chins with large jade bangles, young executives in formal attire shading the boxes discreetly and the Filipino maids who are being nannies to their employees kids, chattering away in a language foreign to me.
There are so many different personalities out there but all of them are in the search of that hope. The hope to win it big. To have a complete makeover, to establish themselves in Shenton Way and to provide material comforts to the family back home.
If hope was suppose to be optimistic, it wasn't showing gamely on the faces of these queuers. Strangely enough, everyone queuing was basically frustrated or impatient, or the fact that all of them look forlorn, or just plain embarrassed of their prescene here to hit the jackpot like everyone else who was equally frustrated, impatient, forlorn and embarrassed. I felt the same way too, I didn't belong here. I just answered the call of my Dad who asked me to "try".
Try as I may, shading 7 out of 45 boxes, what are the chances of me getting the Toto jackpot prize of S$10 million? My chances are like 1 in 10 million but my dad wanted me to take a shot. The auntie, the executive and the maid also wants that shot, that hope, that dream of 10 million bucks. Ever wondered if people did not hope and know the harsh realities of life, what would be life after then when hope is nonexistent?
There would be no more gambling, no more stock market speculations, no more miracles at hospitals. Hope, is the very essence inside of everyone that people draw upon on, but discard when they get lucky in scenarios. Hope is everything to many but in fact, is just a term that reality drags upon and which people pin their expectations on. They can possess all hope in a minute, and lose all hope in a second.
Today, I got a reality check. Friends of close friends that I know of are getting attached like runaway couples without my knowledge. It just reminds me of the misery of what I have not fully experienced yet. Not that i am depressed but I question myself with "What ifs?" towards relationships, and then you will wonder what have I been doing wrong.
I know the hope of being loved by someone is all decided by fate. But I cling on to the hope that fate gets to me faster than those 7 winning numbers that will appear on my Toto ticket.
Money, not love, can be won by a $3.50 piece of paper. Because all it possess is hope.
- Benjamin
P.S. I dyed my hair brown today, it ain't obvious but I will provide photos tomorrow. I hope you won't think it's ugly.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Blonde-blog
After a zombifying sunday, it was a funeralistic monday followed by a mundane tuesday.
Usually, I don't normally blog about what happens to me but since it has been a pretty boring day for me and the very fact that my brain still smells of microwave remains, I shall be blonde-blogging for today.
The definition of a blonde-blog is a blog where people write their daily activities, like eating a salmon burger to visiting the handicap loo at 2 pm and expressing their emotions on their blog, like I feel like eating a salmon burger to I had this curious desire to find out whats the difference between a normal loo and a handicapped loo.
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you my blonde-blog day.
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So today, I woke up from a bad dream. It was really bad. It was so bad I couldn't remember what I dreamt. So i went back to sleep again.
I woke up again this time and found that I was late for school. I contemplated over being late and 5 more minutes of bedhaven. I wasted 5 minutes thinking. I went to bathe.
I left my house and press the elevator button. So exciting. I wonder how the elevator works. Before I could think, I reach the ground floor. I must read up on how elevator works or I swear I will climb stairs. I live on the 12th floor.
I was in school 5 minutes late. I wrote a note to myself that I should not waste 5 minutes to think whether I should sleep anot. Instead, I should spend 5 more minutes sleeping so I will not be late again. I was so tired but the lecturer kept on droning about etiquette.
Dinner etiquette ...blah blah .... dinner fork .... blah blah .... eat with your mouth full .... blah blah ... vomit politely ... blah blah ... zzz ...I wanted to sleep for 5 minutes but couldn't. I felt that my legs were too cold. So i stood up. And sat down. I felt a little warm then.
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((((((((( Note: I'm really being a super blonde guy here , I can't believe I'm writing this but then again, I'm so bored and I apologise if this is a waste of your time because I'm writing what happened to me today with loads of exaggerations. I should continue ... ))))))
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Lesson ended. I went to the computer lab to do research on my NCT project. Ended up sleeping in front of the computer. I wonder will I die of radiation. I use my handphone alot. I must go to the doctor tommorrow. I need to scan my brain. Incidentally, my research project is about biometrics which has to do with fingerprint and eye scan.
I wonder if it can scan my brain. Can save money what, must remember to do research before administrator logs me out. I wonder why I booked the computer for 1 hour but I get logged out so fast. Must be my brain got microwaved for one hour and I wasn't aware. I need my doctor. I wanted to use my handphone to book an appointment. I was scared of my handphone as my brain was damaged enough from its radioactive waves. I used my friend's handphone instead. I was so happy I was so smart that I booked my appointment.
I got one more hour to spent until next lesson. I went to play badminton with Richmond. He is my academic club's best pal. He played so lousy today, he kept hitting the shuttlecock over the net. He is so stupid. Don't even know how to play. I kept hitting the feathers under the net. I score so many points. I must tell Richmond that badminton is like soccer, must score under the net.
After badminton, so tired. I sweat until I felt like a monkey. I almost climbed a tree but I didn't. I was late for class. During class, we talked about the use of emails. The textbook reading said that email was evil and wasted alot of peoples' time. I disagreed with the author and my classmates who preferred the days of snail mail.
I feel that emails on how to increase my penis size and me winning a free trip to Nigeria was good. I supported the use of email. I cannot believed that they would support snail mail. I am going to call SPCA for animal abuse. I think they were jealous because they did not have as much spam as me and they have lots of slave snails at home.
I told them I responded to all my spam. I never got a reply back but I was hopeful that my penis would be enlarged and my air tickets to Nigeria was being booked as we speak. I could see they were so jealous. Like green-eyed monkeys or snails. I should spank them till their asses turn green too. Wait a minute. I don't support animal abuse. I only advocate them to people. I don't practice what I preach. I'm so clever. = )
Then, I came home to have a nice shower. It was so invgiorating. I should shower more. Like 4 times a day. This is because I read from my SMS that I need to take care of my private parts. Bird flu is rampant nowadays. I want to praise the person who sent me the SMS to tell everyone to change their underwear at least 4 times a day to protect yourself from bird flu. Prevention is better than cure. I change mine at least 6 times a day.
I need to log off now, I need to change my thong.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay end of blonde-blog. Give me comments on how I wrote. I was bored and being an ass. = P
- Benjamin
After a zombifying sunday, it was a funeralistic monday followed by a mundane tuesday.
Usually, I don't normally blog about what happens to me but since it has been a pretty boring day for me and the very fact that my brain still smells of microwave remains, I shall be blonde-blogging for today.
The definition of a blonde-blog is a blog where people write their daily activities, like eating a salmon burger to visiting the handicap loo at 2 pm and expressing their emotions on their blog, like I feel like eating a salmon burger to I had this curious desire to find out whats the difference between a normal loo and a handicapped loo.
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you my blonde-blog day.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So today, I woke up from a bad dream. It was really bad. It was so bad I couldn't remember what I dreamt. So i went back to sleep again.
I woke up again this time and found that I was late for school. I contemplated over being late and 5 more minutes of bedhaven. I wasted 5 minutes thinking. I went to bathe.
I left my house and press the elevator button. So exciting. I wonder how the elevator works. Before I could think, I reach the ground floor. I must read up on how elevator works or I swear I will climb stairs. I live on the 12th floor.
I was in school 5 minutes late. I wrote a note to myself that I should not waste 5 minutes to think whether I should sleep anot. Instead, I should spend 5 more minutes sleeping so I will not be late again. I was so tired but the lecturer kept on droning about etiquette.
Dinner etiquette ...blah blah .... dinner fork .... blah blah .... eat with your mouth full .... blah blah ... vomit politely ... blah blah ... zzz ...I wanted to sleep for 5 minutes but couldn't. I felt that my legs were too cold. So i stood up. And sat down. I felt a little warm then.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
((((((((( Note: I'm really being a super blonde guy here , I can't believe I'm writing this but then again, I'm so bored and I apologise if this is a waste of your time because I'm writing what happened to me today with loads of exaggerations. I should continue ... ))))))
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lesson ended. I went to the computer lab to do research on my NCT project. Ended up sleeping in front of the computer. I wonder will I die of radiation. I use my handphone alot. I must go to the doctor tommorrow. I need to scan my brain. Incidentally, my research project is about biometrics which has to do with fingerprint and eye scan.
I wonder if it can scan my brain. Can save money what, must remember to do research before administrator logs me out. I wonder why I booked the computer for 1 hour but I get logged out so fast. Must be my brain got microwaved for one hour and I wasn't aware. I need my doctor. I wanted to use my handphone to book an appointment. I was scared of my handphone as my brain was damaged enough from its radioactive waves. I used my friend's handphone instead. I was so happy I was so smart that I booked my appointment.
I got one more hour to spent until next lesson. I went to play badminton with Richmond. He is my academic club's best pal. He played so lousy today, he kept hitting the shuttlecock over the net. He is so stupid. Don't even know how to play. I kept hitting the feathers under the net. I score so many points. I must tell Richmond that badminton is like soccer, must score under the net.
After badminton, so tired. I sweat until I felt like a monkey. I almost climbed a tree but I didn't. I was late for class. During class, we talked about the use of emails. The textbook reading said that email was evil and wasted alot of peoples' time. I disagreed with the author and my classmates who preferred the days of snail mail.
I feel that emails on how to increase my penis size and me winning a free trip to Nigeria was good. I supported the use of email. I cannot believed that they would support snail mail. I am going to call SPCA for animal abuse. I think they were jealous because they did not have as much spam as me and they have lots of slave snails at home.
I told them I responded to all my spam. I never got a reply back but I was hopeful that my penis would be enlarged and my air tickets to Nigeria was being booked as we speak. I could see they were so jealous. Like green-eyed monkeys or snails. I should spank them till their asses turn green too. Wait a minute. I don't support animal abuse. I only advocate them to people. I don't practice what I preach. I'm so clever. = )
Then, I came home to have a nice shower. It was so invgiorating. I should shower more. Like 4 times a day. This is because I read from my SMS that I need to take care of my private parts. Bird flu is rampant nowadays. I want to praise the person who sent me the SMS to tell everyone to change their underwear at least 4 times a day to protect yourself from bird flu. Prevention is better than cure. I change mine at least 6 times a day.
I need to log off now, I need to change my thong.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay end of blonde-blog. Give me comments on how I wrote. I was bored and being an ass. = P
- Benjamin
Monday, February 02, 2004
Zombified
Before I get to the gist of today's post, I want to apologise for my primary school grammatical and spelling errors in my last few posts, which I promise you that I will try to polish it up because an aspiring writer must have good english , so there.
Okay, I have had a close affair with Mahjong recently. Because on CNY, I had to study for my SATs and filled with exciting orange exchanging days, no mahjong was on the agenda as we cannot get khakis.
I got my fill of mahjong in just one day. The last 24 hours to be precise.
24 hours ago, I arrived at my granduncle's place and I had complained to my father on my lack of touching mahjong tiles and so he propose to the rest of the usual mahjong panel to let the next generation have a taste of what it's like. I was placed on the perch, faced with these 4 vultures discerning my every strategic move at the mahjong table. Although I played only one round, which is about 2 hours or so, I had practically drained myself trying to counter think what the rest of my aunts and granduncle were doing at the table.
In the midst of the game, I got called by my cousins to play mahjong. And there I went.
3 more rounds, which totally seeped whatever ectoplasm that is in my active brain and i knew i became a zombie.
7 am, I had to do something online at 9 am. I was in big trouble but I couldn't think straight. I pushed it to 1 pm and bonk! I went to sleep. It is about 2.50 pm now, I had barely 3 hours of sleep in total and i'm famished.
Horrid Hari Raya Haji to me for a Marvelous Mahjong Maniac.
- Benjamin
Before I get to the gist of today's post, I want to apologise for my primary school grammatical and spelling errors in my last few posts, which I promise you that I will try to polish it up because an aspiring writer must have good english , so there.
Okay, I have had a close affair with Mahjong recently. Because on CNY, I had to study for my SATs and filled with exciting orange exchanging days, no mahjong was on the agenda as we cannot get khakis.
I got my fill of mahjong in just one day. The last 24 hours to be precise.
24 hours ago, I arrived at my granduncle's place and I had complained to my father on my lack of touching mahjong tiles and so he propose to the rest of the usual mahjong panel to let the next generation have a taste of what it's like. I was placed on the perch, faced with these 4 vultures discerning my every strategic move at the mahjong table. Although I played only one round, which is about 2 hours or so, I had practically drained myself trying to counter think what the rest of my aunts and granduncle were doing at the table.
In the midst of the game, I got called by my cousins to play mahjong. And there I went.
3 more rounds, which totally seeped whatever ectoplasm that is in my active brain and i knew i became a zombie.
7 am, I had to do something online at 9 am. I was in big trouble but I couldn't think straight. I pushed it to 1 pm and bonk! I went to sleep. It is about 2.50 pm now, I had barely 3 hours of sleep in total and i'm famished.
Horrid Hari Raya Haji to me for a Marvelous Mahjong Maniac.
- Benjamin
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Kids
Have not been blogging because nothing much has happened around here.
School takes up most of the scheduled and being shipped from left to right of Singapore to become recipents of red packets is what I can make of this week.
So, what more to talk about is the people i met along the way. One prominent group are kids.
Most of the kids are either my cousins, nephews or nieces.
Two in particular are brothers, and boy do they irritate me to the core.
I don't fancy the idea of spending my time with people younger than me than a decade because we have no common ground to have a normal conversation and often, I have to resort myself to babytalk to smoothen up these kids when I'm forced to be stuck in a room where the more mature adults are having their usual gossipy session on which uncle bought a new car or which far distance relative of theirs got testicular cancer.
Hence, the usual tactic of mine is to be a "monster" scaring away the kids with my antics, playing peek-a-boo and suddenly appear out from a HDB wall with my hands like a clawing cheetah on its hunt. This is normally followed by screams and running footsteps from the kids. The shrill of those screams are so piercing that I consider wearing ear plugs. On the other hand, I won't be able to hear a car aiming for me if I cross the roads. Decisions decisions.
Anyway, not to sidetrack, the 2 kids kept wanting my attention even though "clawing period" and you how kids are, they just only one thing. Attention. They got my attention alright. And my irritation to REALLY claw them after a 2 hour session.
Now, I don't really love kids or really hate them. I don't coo or crinkle at the sight of cute newborns or spit and vomit at any passing strollers. I just have the "shrug shoulders" attitude of their existence. Babies are here for a reason. Cause and effect of having sex > pregnancy > 9 months later > baby.
All my relatives say i'm good with kids. My destiny, my affinity, many of them commented that they were willing to invest funds for me to start a childcare centre. All I could do was just not in assentment even though deep back in my mind, I was just being myself. Maybe I was really a kid at heart, but the adult in me is trying to get out and be serious.
I guess the age of maturity when the adult in me finally takes a place in the core of my brain and the child in me gets demoted to the lower levels of uranus. But the adult in me know one thing, I can't stand the notion of changing diapers yet, so I guess I'm not ready to be a father yet. I do not even dare to look at my own shit much less the shit that my child will create.
Until then, the kid in me will live reality as it is. The expiry date of it is when I reach the age of 25.
Maturity is like shit, it has to come out some day.
- Benjamin
Have not been blogging because nothing much has happened around here.
School takes up most of the scheduled and being shipped from left to right of Singapore to become recipents of red packets is what I can make of this week.
So, what more to talk about is the people i met along the way. One prominent group are kids.
Most of the kids are either my cousins, nephews or nieces.
Two in particular are brothers, and boy do they irritate me to the core.
I don't fancy the idea of spending my time with people younger than me than a decade because we have no common ground to have a normal conversation and often, I have to resort myself to babytalk to smoothen up these kids when I'm forced to be stuck in a room where the more mature adults are having their usual gossipy session on which uncle bought a new car or which far distance relative of theirs got testicular cancer.
Hence, the usual tactic of mine is to be a "monster" scaring away the kids with my antics, playing peek-a-boo and suddenly appear out from a HDB wall with my hands like a clawing cheetah on its hunt. This is normally followed by screams and running footsteps from the kids. The shrill of those screams are so piercing that I consider wearing ear plugs. On the other hand, I won't be able to hear a car aiming for me if I cross the roads. Decisions decisions.
Anyway, not to sidetrack, the 2 kids kept wanting my attention even though "clawing period" and you how kids are, they just only one thing. Attention. They got my attention alright. And my irritation to REALLY claw them after a 2 hour session.
Now, I don't really love kids or really hate them. I don't coo or crinkle at the sight of cute newborns or spit and vomit at any passing strollers. I just have the "shrug shoulders" attitude of their existence. Babies are here for a reason. Cause and effect of having sex > pregnancy > 9 months later > baby.
All my relatives say i'm good with kids. My destiny, my affinity, many of them commented that they were willing to invest funds for me to start a childcare centre. All I could do was just not in assentment even though deep back in my mind, I was just being myself. Maybe I was really a kid at heart, but the adult in me is trying to get out and be serious.
I guess the age of maturity when the adult in me finally takes a place in the core of my brain and the child in me gets demoted to the lower levels of uranus. But the adult in me know one thing, I can't stand the notion of changing diapers yet, so I guess I'm not ready to be a father yet. I do not even dare to look at my own shit much less the shit that my child will create.
Until then, the kid in me will live reality as it is. The expiry date of it is when I reach the age of 25.
Maturity is like shit, it has to come out some day.
- Benjamin
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