10 More Days to P O P

For the army deluded females, P O P means passing out parade.

That's where I can officially leave the island for good. (I hope...)

On depressing news, I reached home today to receive my rejection letter from the Air Force.

Whoopie ! Now I need not die on an airfield in the upcoming future.

That would leave me solely on the track on making my moolah on the business world I guess = -)

In order to save my miserable pay and pocket allowance has officially been declared "you're on your own", staying indoors seems like the best thing.

I wanna watch "The Incredibles". Heard only good reviews like GOD DAMN EVERYWHERE.

Anybody ?

Benji

Army Daze

It's a 5 day holiday for me as my burnt weekends due to field camp are given to me off in lieu so I book in on Monday !

BOO YAH !

So for the last 2 days, I've been crashing at my army pals' place playing our consoles (read xbox n PS2) and heading to town to view in the early X'mas lights.

I should also deem myself as a "movie fan" right now. I patronize cinemas like a burrowing mole eager to return home.

There are so many great shows that I'm eager to watch. The only genre I avoid is super horror shows that scare even my shit shitless.

So what if I'm a big pussy : P Becoz for days after that, my vivid imagination will work it's magic based on the horror movie plot, and restless nights follows.

Placing that fact aside, I watched 'Taxi' becoz of the Queen.

You can take a ride on me if you want

And Latifah didn't dissappoint me. As the heroine, I the audience laughed at her antics and her driving prowess.

Gwen recommended I should go watch the French versions (read 1, 2 & 3) that I'm sorely missing out on.

In a matter of hours, I'll also be eagerly catching up on "The Forgotten". I've been anticipating this for MONTHS. 2 to be exact since I caught it's trailer.

The plot intringues me. And I lust after Julianne Moore, just not in a "bring to bed" way, more like "ooh you have a brain and a luscious body" kind of way.

Put your hands where I want them to be

Okay, up to this point, you must be thinking what brainwashing food the army has been feeding to Benny.

Benny is lusting after women twice his age, possibly twice his size and has express notions twice to jump into bed with them.

Just so you know, I'm perfectly O-KAY. And I feel like an eager F4 fan now if they would appear in a press conference and sign in between my butt cheeks with a permanant ink marker.

BOO YAH !

After viewing the interesting side of the split personality pyscho Benny, the Older Woman Slayer, now comes to the boring part.

Benji, the Underpaid Recruit from the depths of the Tekong jungles.

It's only another fortnight before I get posted out. Frankly, my hopes of being a pilot are dashed because I don't think my peers and my lao das perceived me as someone with calibre enough to be an officer.

Thus, I shall officially end my journey (dream) as a pilot here on out. (BTW, just so you know, you need to be an officer to be a pilot.)

Well as depressive as I sound, I'm not dying to be a pilot. If you say the chinese phrase "cannot eat the grapes, then say it's sour", I'll smack you with a crate of wine bottles.

But I'm sure there are mundane stuff that I'll be assigned to. Coupled with the fact that my fitness is ALMOST there except for arm power. SIGH ....

But looking back at the 14 weeks which I have enjoyed (overlooking the fact of my buddy which I have come to abhor), it has truly been an amazing experience (quote sans Amazing race eliminatees).

The bonds, the humour, the poking, the encouragement, the sharing of rations, the screaming and frustration, the rushing and the tekan-ing.

(Wipe away a shed of tear)

It has truly been too quick to absorb what I went through. In a blink of an eye or the view of my last 5 entries or so, my days in BMTC will soon dissolve and days in a unit (aka Hell) will come forth.

It has truly been an army daze for moi.

Peace out,
Schizo Ben/Benji/Benny

P.S. If you can't recognize me, that's because I'm wearing my geeky army specs and lost 7.4 kg = P

Pilot results update

FYI, the application of me ever being a pilot is still being processed.

I went for the computerized test, quite confident I did pretty quick and well.

I went for the medical, gotta have a review a fortnight later, pending my hearing and dental.

So if you are a person who want to condemn me to ever fly an aeroplane much less a kite, just scream harshly into my ear, and I'll be permantly have hearing problems thus failing to listen to minute sounds.

My own self perception of the chances of being a pilot: 20%

The real possibility of me ever being a pilot: 0.1%

The possibility of me signing on if I advance through all the check-ups and interviews: 99.9%

I don't wish to put all my fruits in a basket.

I'm not DYING to be a pilot. The notion of having an opportunity to fly the skies no matter in a heli, f-16 or a transport plane is pretty chirpy for moi.

The alternative route is to stamp my trademark in the advertising industry.

Not that I will make much of a ripple anyway but climbing the corporate ladder will be an ardous task for the early few years.

Scraping dirt and paperwork with pathethic compensation, being a pilot sounds like an easier route with less shit to shovel.

Then again, there is always politics be it between flight engineers & pilots or account executives & directors.

There's always shit in the world when clumps of group of people are together.

On an interesting note, I think I mention somewhere early in my blog that I'm interested in anthropology.

I like to study people behaviours, what they think and do, how they backstab and use one another. The evil side of human beings.

Exploring it is a kind of inner calling for me, I don't know why. Maybe that is why I love to immerse myself in reality shows for the certain "extent" of reality they can provide.

Whether I become a pilot, pyschologist or an advertising asshole, I guess the only reality one can immerse themselves to truly fully experience the evil side of human beings is their jobs.

Being used, stepped upon and abused. Part and parcel of the working world as much as the media or our textbooks which to cover up and deny.

I just wanna get out of the army and face the shit. Because all the reward is the salary which can provide you sustainance and survival.

That's why we are here for.

Survival of the fittest.

Step up or be stepped upon.

That is why I'm aiming for a commanding school to be either a Sergeant or an officer. I hope to be either one because the only thing that I'm lacking is my arm strength to do chin ups.

I definently do not want to be a lackey for the rest of my life.

I want to be in control.

Freak,
Benji

Grenade !

I'm back on a Friday night from that dreaded island.

That's because of an "Espirit De Corps" run at Marina South on a god-damn Saturday morning.

If there is a God, how could GOD let that happen?

It is a SATURDAY morning.

People DO sleep on saturday mornings you know?

Yes, PEOPLE, the little walking two-legged rag dolls you created to walk on earth.

Remember? But then again, I'm an atheist.

And I need my god-damn sleep for the run tommorrow so this blog entry will be tart and short.

(((Note: For the high-praising Christian fellowers, the above paragraphs were only symbols of expressions, I'm not Anti-Christ for God Sake)))

Religious bull aside, I threw a LIVE grenade today !!!

It might seem like a Chey! So what but I guess every NS man shudders and smile at their own self recollection of the day they threw their grenade.

It's like having sex after being a virgin for 50 years and never knew how orgasmic release can be.

I apologize for the sexual reference but then again, the experience was so fast that you never knew it happened until minutes after you release.

I ran to the bay, waited for other 3 botaks to throw their explosive yakult bottles and when it was my turn to throw mine, I didn't hesitate.

Until the moment I took out my safety lever and then I started to say.

Ut Oh.

When I was given the signal to release hell to the targets, I just threw blindly and scream and scramble for my full-bladder balls.

Disappointingly, I didn't pee on my pants as expected. However, BOOM! it went and the vibrations were just stunning and shocking.

A minute later and I ran back to the safety shed for cover. In barely 5 minutes, I did something worth to be called a MAN !!! It was so fast like 30 blinks of an eyelid !

Wahahaha , I wouldn't mind throwing grenades for a living but I would be pyschotic to sign on my life/future to the green uniform.

Ut Ah.

On Bitchy Ben news about his Beloved Bastardly Buddy, these are quotes that came straight from the source:

"My cough is getting worse." (Pause) "It's because it rain this morning."

"I feel pain but I don't know where it is."

"Wake me up tommorrow morning please. I accidentally drank half a bottle of cough syrup."

Note: My buddy is more stupid than a hermit crab. He didn't even bathe for 2 days because he didn't want to get cold. Imagine the suffering I had to bear with his smell and his hygiene.

Okay, it's almost midnight, I gotte knock out or else I'll be a walking zombie running straight to the ocean.

That would be a treat for journalists. = )

- Benji

P.S. Will provide updates of wannabe-pilot results tmr

Waking up as a Leader

Back fron the hantu jungles in Tekong once more.

Completed SIT test which is a test of whether you can make it as a leader.

I think I just did O K. Not sure how and by what I'll be assessed by but frankly, I don't give a damn.

I had fun doing the challenges. It's like Survivor tribal immunity only this time, you can be shot by a sniper, hanging off a cliff of 10m height or suspended on muddy logs.

FYI, I have a sudden interest to be a pilot.

Before you laugh your balls or your knockers off. You all must be thinking.

How can BEN be a PILOT ?

Let me reason. BEN likes to FLY if you all don't know that, BEN likes to go where the WIND blows and BEN likes to get gun down by MISSLES.

Well, somehow, plans of me going to the advertising industry has taken a turnstill and I'm thinking of diverting to work as a CIVIL SERVANT.

OMG - Ben working for the SINGAPORE GAHMEN. I must be an infiltrator or spy for some foreign gahmen.

Which BTW, I don't mind too since I like what Jennifer Garner does on Alias so for what it's worth, I would love to be that sneaky little idiot that prodes around sensitive information and carry out Mission Impossible stuff.

Okay, I'm getting a little out of hand.

Back to topic. Me = Pilot.

The possibility is there. I've did the test and I'm going for my medical on Monday. So if I pass the medical, pass the interview stage and I should be almost there.

(((Sing R Kelly "I Believe I Can Fly")))

On other Bitchy Ben news, my buddy has not bathe for the last two days for some unknown reasons.

He has a dartboard on his back because this morning, he shitted and it was like really ugly and he dare not admit he had "artillier-ized" the bowl.

On news about meself, I've found a newfound sense of discpline of waking up at 530 am to brush my teeth and shit so as to avoid the crowd no matter how tired I am.

I'm gonna meet my DMC buddies later for movie, I've been wishing for a break/breather for god knows when, good thing is I won't return to the jungle in the next month or so and that's good enough.

Barely have 24 hours to spend it on leisure, I have to treasure it hard.

Movie-goer & Buffet-shark,
Ben

A Month of Disappearance!

I'm back and alive again.

For friends who thought I went to the grave, sorry to dissappoint ya.

A quick recap for what has happened to me for this one month:

- I caught a terrible viral fever that knocked me out for a week or so
- Attended my brother's wedding
- Survived a 6 days Field camp in the midst of the Tekong jungle

As you can see, all these took place during my weekends and hence, no updates on this bloggie.

The viral fever was so serious that it involved an ambulance and Changi General Hospital.

My stay was brief though, for 2 hours. I felt mistreated there as the doctor just brushed it off.

CMON, I had a CONCUSSION. Since I lost all my senses and fell into a black daze where I can hear only voices and nothing else.

But all that said and done, I'm still fine but I still have a flammatory cough.

WHICH I GOT IT FROM MY BUDDY.

You know, my buddy has yet to recovered from his fever cum cough cum whatever shit he is still being sick with.

First day of Field camp, my body was ready to tahan the upcoming 5 days of strenuous activities with the lack of proper food, sleep and bath but NO.

I say there is no GOD because my buddy kept COUGHING the fucking entire night.

So instead of me having a lack of proper sleep, I had NO NO NO sleep at all.

FYI, his cough can mimic those old fogeys 80 yr old ++ on their death beds spitting out the last ba kwa stuck in their throat from stuffing themselves from New year goodies.

Hence, I got infected, AGAIN on day 3 or 4 and I tahan my clenched fist from flying to the other side of the basha.

BTW, a basha is a tent, only much more smaller and I SO much prefer to sleep on open ground regardless of rain, snow or slate falling on me.

I cared about needing more fresh oxygen during my sleep than hit by a meteor shower.

ANYWAY, my buddy dare backstabbed me and tell some people whom he went to pee pee to the bushes with that I'm SLOW and SELFISH and not SUPPORTIVE.

"Bashing buddy session alert" - Surf to next webpage if you do not want to read my aggression.

YOU FUCKING CHEE BYE BUDDY. You are the SLOW one. When everyone is eating their ration, you are still doing you powder bath. When I already slept, you have not even packed your field pack for the next day. You are always the last fell to fall in for our section.

Everytime there is a mancheck, you always go AWOL because you are out there trying to suck up to some sargeants or some senior's cock.

The WHOLE platoon is sick of your SHIT. ALL of them agree with me and shake their head at me everytime they see you performing your stance of trying to polish somebody's boots.

I have the honour of the WORST buddy ever in BMTC history. I should have an award for just surviving you. I don't mind suriving another FIELD CAMP as long as you're NOT THERE.

I don't WHINCE like a pussy when I'm digging a shellscrape. You sound like a pussy in heat everytime you smash your ET blade down on the soft soil. For the fucking FACT, you are in the shade whereas the rest are in the HOT SUN with HELMETS on.

You ARE SO LAZY that you only water plants for AREA cleaning and NEVER do any BUNK cleaning and you had the NERVE to say you contribute SO MUCH rations to the bunk when your only offering to the bunk in the past 2 months was "ANYBODY WANT A HACKS SWEET?"

You have the nerve to eat our rations. The bunk ask you to stop eating our chips or chocolate because you are sick but you NEVER LISTEN. You want to become an OFFICER, go ahead, you will only SUFFER. I hope they will enjoy you licking their ass and your feminine whines.

"END OF RANT"

I apologize to my blog readers. This has been pent up too long. I can go on longer but I don't want this blog to be all about my buddy.

I'm waiting to PASS OUT soon where I need not hear his coughing every night anymore. EVER.

Bad Buddy aside, I survived Field Camp !!!!

Infested centipedes and snakes campsite plus mosquitoes that sting your arse when you shit plus rations that taste like mush plus carrying a 17 kg school bag for 4 km or more.

I've survived !!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!

((((( Round of applause for the Recruits who surivived w/o dropping out )))))

I just wish for more rest before I'm setting off to the jungle again tommorrow for the next 3 days or so. Sigh.

On a happier note, I feel I'm beginning to bond more with my section mates but all of us are too shagged to even think much less care for one another.

I hope to post up a few photos of my field camp before I book in tonight.

That's the update for the one month or so.

I promise not to go missing again for one more month from this blog.

That is if I dig a trench to bury myself to escape from the coughing and whining.

Recruit in training / Posting a Classified ad for a buddy,
Benjamin

Random mumbles

Time passes by real fast.

Like really really fast. I still can't believe the 5 weeks I've already burned on a desolated island.

I've accepted the fact that the world is unfair and the label of being a Singaporean male is one that "protects and dies for the nation where he learns skills of the trade of killing wild boars in dense forests for survival."

I digress. I'm not here to whine about my nation's defence policies.

Regardless, I'm looking forward to the next phase of Basic Military Training where I get to bludgeon my buddy to death or get stinged by countless hornets.

By the way, my body still feels the same the day I entered Tekong.

I still have the same body mass, bulging fats and skinny lifeless arms.

It makes one wonder where all the training I've endured has gone to. Definitely not my brain.

I'm also beginning to bump into old friends. Friends that have become SAR GANTS and have the authority to ask me to knock it down till my arms become weak and I'm rushed off to the medical centre for the blood rush that goes to my skinny lifeless arms.

As a recruit, I can't talk for long with them.

It's this hierachical (correct spelling? Heck la) order where you cannot cross border and talk buddy buddy with someone higher rank than you like.

For example, if you are out in the working world and you are seen drinking coffee outside office hours with your boss, colleagues will assume the following:

1. You're having an affair
2. You're sucking cock/blowing pussy of your fellow superior

It's highly unlikely it will be the following:

1. Talking business in a casual affair
2. You're trying to poison your boss with rat poison in the coffee

Nevertheless what case it is, it seems you have to be in a role and my role in the army is to take shit from whoever.

But most people say SAR GANTS also sometimes get tekan because they have politics to meddle with especially with warrants or officers.

Whatever. When the time comes when I'm in deep shit of army politics, someone please bludgeon me with an ET stick.

Okay enuff talk about army. What has been going on with poor ol' Benny?

Well, I've been reading up like a bookworm. "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown.

Blurdy good book I must say as it intringued the hell out of my balls.

Besides reading, I've been binging on chocolate with my latest escapade at the minimart resulting in a receipt of 10 bucks solely on chocolate.

Maybe that's why I still have the same body mass, bulging fats and skinny lifeless arms.

In addition to being a chocaholic that gets the adrenaling of licking whatever melting chocolate that's left on the wrapper, I've become more self-depreciating, sacarstic and curt to everyone around me.

Don't know why. I don't have PMS thank you very much but I blame it on the weather.

With reference to my love life, I guess there are no updates.

Nobody new to stalk/interfere or love affairs to break up, it's so boring.

I keep listening to my army buddies love life and some have already faltered in camp.

But hey, I'm not complainig. Relationships are like pets, you need to nurture and maintain it and one wrong move might spell the doom of things. The pet will run away from the lack of love or bite the owner's hand.

So for now, I advocate the freedom to have ONS and going out without holding somebody's sweaty palms.

Oh god, I love being a weekend swinging single NS slave.

Abhors relationships for now,
Pyscho Ben

Out n About, in Pain

I guess the idea of booking out early every Friday is getting to be a norm for me.

5 days isloated on an island with free accomodation, food and physical conditioning provided by the government provided by my parents income tax ain't that bad after all.

Just don't think of it as imprisonment. A life changing experience perhaps.

Reason: You get to see all sorts of people from different walks of life interacting.

Like I remember the first day when I got to my bunk. 11 other individuals were uneasy with one another.

But as day passes by, you get to see the side they share, be it good or bad.

There is the smoker beng biker who upholds friendship bonds, the mat yo-yo that adores his girlfriend and juggles like a bartender, the chinese horny guy who fantasizes about the next FHM gal, the inevitable geek who frequents Sim Lim and talks about cars all the time and the suck cock idiot that everyone hates.

It's a general stereotype of some of the people in my bunk. Don't take offence if anybody ever reads the above.

I guess I fall in the stereotype of cynical sacarstic bastard that demoralizes the entire bunk by screaming at them to do area cleaning or hurry up fall in or I'll throw a broom in their face.

I guess that was a pre-requisite of me being the bunk I/C.

I don't see the other section I/Cs doing the same threats though.

Anyway I digress.

I love my bunk mates save for a rare few. Which I shall comment further about their antics if they really irritate me enough on a Friday bookout.

But Friday bookouts are happy moments on a Fastcraft away from the Skull island of misery so if anybody makes me that mad, you'll be able to hear my grunts by Friday night.

Okay back to main point.

5 days week ain't that bad. But it will revert to 5.5 day work week in about a fortnight because that is when my physical training phase is over.

For those pundits who bet that I could not disrupt, go claim your winnings from a 4-D booth.

I did not pass my disruption test yesterday. "Hears cheers and claps from my PC office"

I failed 3 stations.

I hear gasps, jaws dropping to the floor and your balls choking your throat but Rec Ben is the Cannot Make it Physically Type.

Stupid reason being, I went to the gym the night before and trained on my Standing Broad Jump technique.

And practiced I did. The pals that went with me to jump had fits in their stomach from laughing at me when I jump.

This is because I grunted like a horny ape everytime I takeoff from the start line.

And Mr. Long Legs Me is very inconsistent but if I really concentrate, I can jump 230 cm wor~~
I digress again. Look what the SAF has done to poor old Ben.

So, I jump like umpteen over times until I think I mastered the techinque.

The operative word here is "think".

Hence, I headed back to bunk thinking that I could jump. Pass everything except Chin-ups.

Did I tell you that people daydream alot in an army camp?

To horrors of all horrible stupid mistakes in my life, I woke up in agony barely 2 hours before the IPPT disruption test with legs knotted like tree trunks and my lower back aching like Prickly Heat powder on your cock.

Results: My 2.4km run was 12.23 seconds. I failed by 4 seconds.
Pull up - I'm still a zero fighter.
SBJ - 212 cm. Failed by 4 cm.

Did I curse and swear? Nope.

I only have myself to blame for training strenously like a grunting hog in heat the night before.

Strangely enough 24 hours later in the comforts of my home now blogging, my thighs STILL FUCKING HURT and my back is still in AGONY.

I have refused to succumb to medicinal products like Yoko yoko, Counterpain or whatever cream, lotion and shit that you put to soothe yourself.

I believe in natural recuperation. Leave me in agony for the next 24 hours or so.

In pain,
Rec Ben

P.S. I'll be back to report the progress of my natural recovery plus the variety of swear words that comes out of my filthy mouth by tonight.

2nd Book Out Day

Back in mainland Singapore. I think I can get used to this weekday-hell weekend-heaven lifestyle.

It's like a different world and when I'm out now, I feel a little lost, out of place and hapless with no direction to go.

I think I'll spend most of my weekend snoozing and enjoying hot baths and watching TV.

I think I deserve some slacking time after all I have done in camp.

I'm the bunk I/C so I shout at my other 11 bunk mates to MOVE IT, or FALL IN NOW or DO AREA CLEANING NOW.

I'm like the mean guy. Yup. But I think everyone still likes me.

In my platoon, I think we are the best section, reason being we are quite spirited and quite efficient.

I just need to push them sometimes.

There were some occassions where all of them approach me to talk to this one particular guy who needs "assistance" to be aware of his short-sightedness in doing stuff.

He was talking on the phone past 2230, our sleep time where we had an important event the next day and apparently some of my section mates couldnt sleep.

So I had a one to one talk to him and I kinda reprimanded him but he took it in stride.

One ear in and one ear out.

Ok, I'm beginning to start to crap.

In the army, I'm beginning to pick up lots of vulgar phrases.

And I'm developing an even shorter fuse when I'm irritated with people.

I'm on the verge of snapping left right centre but all I do is bitch to some of my good pals in my section to release steam.

Okay, fine. I'm NOT a PEOPLE PERSON.

But then again, you meet different types of people in the army and some people are in my own opinion.

The CANNOT MAKE IT type.

In my section, there's a slacker, a person who loves to sleep ALL the time, an overenthusiastic person who likes to help people but doesnt get things done himself and a stubborn mule.

And the great thing is one of the above people is my BUDDY.

Fuck it.

I'm gritting my teeth everytime I look at him making a mistake here n there and I roll my eyes whenever he tries to help other people but yet fall short of getting his own stuff done.

Whatever.

I'm sure I'll snap one day. But for this weekend, I can just slack n relax.

I deserve it.

Blogging, whining and crapping at the same time -
Rec Ben

Book out Day

After a 17 days confinement, I'm out to the civilized world.

What do I really have to say about the island of Tekong for a chao recruit like me, also known as the lowest lifeform on earth's existence, especially in Singapore?

Nothing really. To be honest.

It is just a total different world on that island.

Regimental lifestyle with no privacy and no sense of freedom. This is what you call the army.

Freedom of expression and creativity is heavily subdued. Your left brain is stagnant for the 2 years serving the national armed forces.

All you do is take instruction, suck it up and take the punishment and that's the moral of the story.

It's 2230. Should be lights off time in Tekong now. Seems like my body clock is shutting down. I'll blog more about my bunk mates and the gossip tommorrow perhaps.

Back to civilian life,
Rec Benjamin

Farewell party

Goodbye party cum birthday celebration for Eric, I gather all my DMC pals to celebrate my unification cum bond with my nation.

I'm just going to let the pictures do the talking. I have to pack my stuff.

I'll miss my freedom of speech, my hair and hot baths. Sianz. Not forgetting friends and family.

Doh! How could I forget?



































Sigh. Good memories will be forever kept on a blog.

Like good hair days, moments with friends and what's it like being with girls.

Adieu,
Benjamin

Goodbye

These last few days has been a whirlwind for me.

The reality of getting stuck in a regimental routine has slowly started to sunk in as I got into a really dowdy mood.

Before you think I have pre-suicidal symptoms for enlistment, think again.

Who wouldn't be hazy and be in a world of their own when they are being confined on an island for next few months or so?

I just hope I don't get tekan alot for unneccessary reasons and I just want to survive.

Period.

Just to let all my blog readers know. I'm really not THAT physically fit.

Yes I do jog and swim but that was like for only the last 3 weeks.

I had slight asthma and I failed my NAPFA. My upper body strength is next to nil and my shoulders are meant for 2 things.

A girlfriend's head and to prop a digital video camera.

Not meant to carry 10 kg of sand running around in circles like the speeches of parliment.

All that said and done, as punishing or harsh the training may be, I'm going to take it in stride.

I'm just going to do a countdown on my ORD date = )

So that's why I'm doing my bid farewell rounds with all my close friends, relatives and neighbours.

These are the following things I'll miss in no particular order.

- Mahjong sessions
- My hair which I groom painstakingly everytime I wanna go out and look nice
- Junk food as and when I like it
- Late morning wake-ups
- Blogging and the Internet world
- Shopping
- Online shopping
- Window shopping
- Online window shopping
- Nice hot baths
- Reality TV shows that are so good
- Taiwanese variety programmes that are so crappy
- My xbox and wonderful assortment of games
- Wardrobe of clothes that I have that I can choose to pick & wear instead of just No.4s
- Jogging, swimming and going to the gym
- My mp3 collection and iTunes
- Friends and gossip kakis
- MSN, ICQ and YM
- My family's nagging and playful talks

I guess that's a long list. Hope I don't miss out anyone.

I feel like an Oscar winner lol.

Bon voyage,
Benjamin

P.S. Since I'll be celebrating my b-day in camp, this is my birthday wish list. You can browse at what I like and maybe be nice and send a parcel to my camp or give it to me when I come out. That is if I ever do come out.

Alive.

Birthday wishlist :

Spiderman 2 OST ($18)
The OC OST ($18)
Lint remover roller ($5?)
Arsenal New Home Jersey 2004-2006 ($85)
Brown/Orange/White/Black Hawaiianas Slippers ($20)
Biotherm Homme Abdosculpt ($67)
A lifetime Gym membership (wahahaha)
A free monopoly "Get out of Army, Don't pass GOH chok tong, Don't collect Singapore Shares" card

I'm a Survivor

Continued from yesterday events:

So yesterday's dry swimming sessions was exhilarating.

READ: ME BIG WINNER

I game maximum man fan zi mo like 4, 5 times until the players cry.

Seriously cannot believe my luck. Wahahaha.

Because me and Clara shared, she took her early winnings of 20 bucks and I reap the remaining $$$ of like 60 or so.

Quite a big amount when the stakes are only 20 40 cents.

Those who don't know mahjong, you don't know what you're missing out !!!

Oh, the amazing thing was I wasn't even tired.

The other 2 guys went to Sentosa and their heads were like bobbing side to side, falling asleep.

I guess the gym and the run kept my senses awake.

I understand the logic of why if you exercise at night, your body won't be able to fall into rest again.

"Logic holds truth" (Ben nods head)

So cycling back home in the midst of the night at 5 am, Bedok was pristine quiet and I was damn skared if any incoming vehicles will bang me.

I got no safety lights lah you see. Dange-rous.

So after a sweet 5 hour sleep, I awoke to a startle because Dad was blasting the TV quite loud.

It's a Saturday morning for god's sake.

I couldn't get back to sleep. Chants curse from mini black book on blasted TV volume.

Today's intineary is to pack my army stuff with JM. In addition, will be having impromptu lunch with Jian Hui, someone I never met before in my life.

He's also a blogger like me, so it would be strange for 2 strangers to meet and knowing so much about one another lol.

On other notes, my army list is quite comprehensive, just got further advice from peeps, so gonna get one more thing.

I'm NOT GOING TO SHOP, just browse. I'm heading down to Orchard you see = )

I SAID. I'M NOT GOING TO SHOP.

I need a leash.

Mad Dog,
Benjamin

Long Day

A quick routine blog after jog.

I had a relatively long day so I shall be brief.

Woke up at 10 pm plus and entertained myself with Xbox and was supposedly having farewell lunch with Felicia and Aaron but something cropped up for Feli.

So continued playing xbox.

Then, suppose to go gym around 12 noon but Vernon & Eugene came back late previous night from church so we headed to Toa Payoh gym after 2 plus.

My second trip to torture racks sans narcissitic lair.

To be brief, most people go gym to be fit or be healthy. It's just another bullshit reason to delude yourself and your friends that you are just narcissitic and that you want to look good in bed with another woman or at the mirror.

My favourite torture rack is the rowing machine. Don't know why but I feel so inclined to use it now everytime I get to a gym (so far twice).

So we gym from 230 to 4pm. And headed to Subway for a healthy snack.

All 3 of us it seems are Subway converts. My personal fav is Steak and Cheese with no olives, no onions, no dressing, slight dash of pepper and loads of capiscum, green leafy veggies covered in hearty italian bread.

And loads of cheese and warm meat.

I can just eat that everyday.

It seems that Vernon can recite the menu of Subway. But you can't help but admit the sandwiches taste so good.

Repeat after me. So good.

So good.

Okay after our affair with Subway, Vernon had to leave for church.

Btw, slight diggression. Although I don't know Vernon and Eugene quite well (3 weeks so far), I feel I "click" with them although we have very opposing views.

They are very staunch christians and I'm like the king of vice in terms of relationship, money, career, friendship and one night-stands.

The most sinful topic was me discussing on how I would gladly shag a "bitch" for cardio-vascular exercise.

For those who don't get it, use your imagination.

And for those who use your imagination, I acknowledge I'm a sick fella.

But you all very well know I'm joking. Right? Right? Right???

Hence me and both of them are like both sides of an apple pie.

We are alike that we are tasty and crusty on the outside but we'll never meet the filling inside because we have differing views and opinions. Okay, strange analogy.

Maybe that's what makes us "click" as friends, me of the evil nature corrupting them. Making them bad apple pies.

Muahahahahahaa !!!!

Okay end of digression.

Me and Eugene then walked from Cine to Dhoby Ghaut and I speeded off to the east.

Was suppose to play mahjong but something cock up with the other kakis so I decided to go teach tuition.

That was about 6pm until 8pm.

Then I left, dissappointed at my student, and called my cozzy who said I couldn't come over for board game night.

Hence, headed home as mahjong session will be at night.

So, as crazy as my long day had been, I tease myself even more.

I went for a 4km moderate run around the neighbourhood. It seems that the gym session instead of aching me, it instead invigiorated me.

Me, now at 10 pm, is going to rush off to Changi for overnight mahjong session.

Will be cycling there. Weeee........ I have legs of steel. I'm so prepared for army.

BRING IT ON.

What a long day I'm having.

Most people call me "siao", but most of my friends call me "Benjamin."

Siao,
Benjamin

P.S. I'll be celebrating my birthday in camp, so I'm gonna prepare a b-day wishlist so that my frens can get me something nice and practical instead of something redundant and pukeable.

Gym Shagged

Today was my virgin trip to the gym.

Vernon brought me around to the various machines and I got a taste of a few banging of the heavy weights.

Calves, triceps and everywhere you think possible is sore or strained.

Except for me crown jewels of course.

I always had a fear of gym because I always had the perception that I'll get sneered upon by the gym rats for intrusion of territory.

Just so you know, I was sneered (or imagined myself being sneered) at but lucky Vernon was there to show me the ropes and machines that can castrate your balls off.

I'll definintely return to the gym, when as needed to be fit be it after NS or I need a release.

"Whack your head with a dumbell if you had another meaning for the word 'release'."

Anyway, after that, met up with Gwenne n Clara who were bored to tears from their slacker lives.

Eventually they ended up at my house hounding the xbox and watching Singapore Idol.

We had loads of fun criticizing the judges and mimicing Ken, the bespectacled judge.

Me looking like Ken.

"With specs on nose ridge and fingers adjusting it to fall off his nose, the words uttered are:

"Are you sure you are 16?"

followed by a lecherous grin and a mark on the list on who to call on lonely nights."

Lol. I know it is mean to tease the judges and the contestants but we need jibs in life to make us smile.

I'm trying to organize the last few days of meet-up with close friends.

I know it sounds like I'm dying from some unknown Egyptian curse or being detained in Jail under the conspicuous eyes of the Internal Security Act but hey, 3 weeks ain't a small matter of time u know.

But I guess I need to rest my aching shoulders. I didn't manage an evening jog today as I kinda sprained my ankle.

And I hope to go for graduation on the 19th of Auggie.

Gym stinko,
Benjamin

Perfect Sunday

Okay, i'm just retracing the steps of a perfect Sunday I had last weekend.

This was before clubbing.

So on a bright and cheery morning, I accompanied my mom to temple to get a "fu".

A "fu" is a paper like triangular pendant to bless you during your stay in army to ward off bad luck or evil spirits.

Being an atheist, I was an obliging good boy to my momma and respect her wishes to pray to her gods.

After that, I went around Bugis to get my mini toiletries and other miscellaneous stuff (I had an army shopping list to fulfill) after which I went to Jurong to see my grandpa.

He wasn't in though then I went to cut & tidy my hair before heading home to prepare for Centro.

Okay to me this was a perfect day was 1 reason. That reason kept me grinning the entire trip.

You see, I was impeccably dressed. Groomed to the appropriate occassion.

My t-shirt was a white t-shirt with green ringers from Zara. My jeans were my 3-year old Levis engineered jeans, pretty worn and torn. My shoes were of the globe brand (skateboarding shoes) which were like heavy sneakers. And my pouch was a mini one from Quiksilver.

The entire outfit was a total fit.

The thing was I left in a huff because I was playing online card game before I sped off to temple.

My only accessories was a pen which I grabbed in a rush which was a JAL token pen from my US trip.

And the amusing matter was that the pen was a shade of green which matched the entire outfit.

I can't help grinning from time to time as I tagged along behind my momma.

My ENTIRE OUTFIT was the BEST LAST MINUTE IMPROMPTU attire.

I can't help praising myself okay .... I know some guys really bo chap their dressing but I'm very self conscious of my appearance and from the Zara tee and the Globe shoes that matched, I can't help it.

"Slaps myself with a big bottle of medicated oil"

Self-praise is well-deserved when I have not spend time with much of my friends anyway since they are all so busy digging a hole to entrenched themselves during NDP or still being mystified to the amazing brainwashing powers of our NDP fireworks.

Anyway, the only next living entity besides my xbox and my plush toys that can give approving praises is my mom who thinks that dye-motif sarongs and bandanas are still the "in" the thing, hence, I resort to shameless self-appraisal.

I'm just trying to humour myself before I go in Tekong hor. And yes I know.

Cheap thrill.

But that was a perfect sunday. Can't stand it lol.

A beautiful sunday,
Benjamin

P.S. I've develop a routine like an AI robot, I always blog everytime I jog my rounds ! And contrary to what my best friend says, I jog on a half-full stomach and I didn't get any "stitches".

Idol or Hero?

The clock is ticking.

1 more week before I head off to suffer. Mentally and physically challenging, a lot of my friends seem to have hopes for me go far.

As in not chao keng and go become an officer.

Skarly cannot make it.

I'm just going in there with an open mind, make new friends, learn new skills and do my best.

Slight digression here.

I apologize for my disorganized thoughts yesterday. I was a bit "high" and I want to thank EVA for everything. Muacks lao po.

Side joke. Don't think it's a scandal or I'll slap you with a beer bottle.

Okay back to army.

The thing about army is that you develop maturity there, you get to hear ghost stories and you do all the manly stuff.

Like how Tiger Beer Ladies come to pour beer for you or you order your privates (no pun intended) to wax themselves with Kiwi (the stuff you go polish ur leather shoes).

As scary or enlightening the stories are being told, I guess I will have to lead my own army life.

Not that I'm not patriotic but I chose to nap when the NDP is on.

But I didn't miss the other great entertaining show.

Singapore Idol !!!

I guess you would have either watch it or read about other blogger's comments on how some Singaporeans are deluded or talented.

I just felt the female judge, Florence Lian overdid the singaporean slang and I love how the last judge frowns or make a disapproving face. Ken Lim from Hype records.

And I rolled my eyes on how some people gunning for their 15 seconds of fame.

"I want a contract from MediaCorp!!!"

Please lor, you can't even dicate your words properly much less sing. What makes you think MediaCorp will hire you?

As weatherman/lady issit?

But I applaud you for your courage to make a fool of yourself on National TV.

Sad thing is, I'll miss Singapore Idol because of enlistment.

= (

Guess I'll have to sing in the shower with other 39 naked men and get the scrutinizing attention & comments from my 2nd Lieutenant.

So not Singapore Idol material but Singapore Hero material,
Benjamin

P.S. Just another slight diggression, I feel that going clubbing once or twice a month to let your hair down is quite theraputic. If you work in a stressful environment, my advice is to go often. Don't go overboard as you may get sianz easily.

Centro

Before I blog further, I just wanna say I'm a bit tipsy from a few drinks after Centro so I'm typing this in a stupor......

It's already like 3 am but was there since 9pm bah when the queue started forming.

Got to see the fireworks display while in the queue and the free tixs from tiffy becoz she is one of the show hair model.

By the way, Tiffy's hair was very nice. I like. She should wear bikini haha to model haha.

Eva called me along so I decided to go lor since I never go clubbing and I'm gonna lose my crowning glory soon so I dress a bit spiffy go dance dance shiok shiok enjoy.

All I know was that in the early hours before midnight, I was like wallpaper.

I was like the bag depot and table guarder as the girls go havoc the floor abit.

By then, I haven't drunk much except my complimentary vodka sprite and hip hop is like bleah.
I don't even have a hip hop mp3 on my laptop lor.

Then, jugs came in , we share the costs and then started taking sips.

I still think I was sober then but I have yet to visit the happening dance floor.

Oh by the way, it's my first time to Centro and the gals say that Sunday night is suppose to be Gay and Lesbian night but becoz of the event, the musik was hip hop.

But there were plently of gays and lesbians around but also got a lot of girls wor~~~

Some attached but some hang about in groups. I likesh = ]

I shall save my views about homosexuality for another when I'm more refreshed.

I digress, so there I was, being a bag & table guardian and someone from the table bought shots.

So i drank 2 shots and not that I got hyper lah but I got a bit high.

I say a bit hor. Not a lot.

I think my alcohol intake is okay just that maybe becoz I feel like liberating myself before 2 years of imprisonment, I decide to take to the dance floor.

So dance I did. Just so u know, Mr Ben is a Fido Dido. Ask Wen Jun.

If you don't know what is a Fido Dido, please refer to my quiktionary on the right links >>>

Okay anyway, I dance and dance.

Normally, at Zouk I dance about 20 mins then I stop liao but I kept going.

The gals stop and came back and dance again.

By the way, 6 gals were with me. Yan Wen, Eva, Yan Wen's cousin, Eva's childhood buddy, Yan Wen's cousin friend.

Don't ask me their names. They are in my hp.

So yah, I was dancing. And I think the spirits got to me.

So I guess I dance non stop for more than an hour bah because my thighs were getting cramps like after you had a long jog.

The thing is, I don't dance to hip hop music but the beats and the acoustics is just too good.

I was from a school band and I like the bass music beats.

And the variation how the deejay played it was pretty varied and just got to my head.

I think if any club got hip hop night, I will go fersure.

So around 245am, the gals got tired of the musik becoz the dj was pretty standard only.

Being a newbie, I felt the dj could be better but this is my first time listening to hip hop intensively. Maybe I got influence by the gals.

Anyway, we decided to disperse as the gals seem shacked and not that hungry.

I was contemplating going to dance alone but nada.

I remembering dancing alone on the floor without my gal buddies for like 20 mins.

Felt so lonely but didn't feel it becoz I was grooving. haha. The gals left me high n dry.

All said and done, I wanted to blog this immediately coz I think this has been a great night for me.

So much better than Zouk. Centro got more dance space and breathing space.

And the seats are so plushy. Must go again next time.

And I think I'm able to write so legibly because I edited a few times hor, but I was talking garblah to vernon and gwenne on msn.

Oh, I got new haircut too. Lemme take photos.

Okay I got blinded by my flashes. Uploading them now....

My new haircut !

Shots not well taken, lighting very bad, but I like how it was styled today = )

Oh also, before I went to Centro, I had a feel good day. Well tell you tmr!

I'm getting a bit hazy liao, better go lie down now.

Tata,
Benjamin

P.S. My contact lens never felt so comfortable in my entire existence. I never even used a single eyedrop !

Boo to Parades

With the recent fuss of National Day always around the corner in late July and early August, all the local media can do is garble how special this year's National Day as compared to previous years.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a true blue (or is it red?) Singaporean and I thank it for giving me security, education and glorious fatty fusion cuisines.

I've even pondered to be a quitter (read last year's National Day rally I think), to get my degree, work a few years here and emigrate but that's too early to tell.

There's still family and we all know what big things Singapore has to offer to keep me entertained on their mini island.

(For those without a skeletal structure, please sense my sacarsm)

I mean look at it this way. I would gladly serve National Service becoz of our shortage of manpower.

I know I'm being put to good use somehow if need of war or when I'm trapped in a lift.

But, seriously.

Has anyone question why is there a need for a National Day Parade?

So much expense is placed into it. Loads of manpower, logistical consideration and tax payers money is spent on this one day on goodie bags, light sticks and fireworks that fritters after 30 seconds.

Call me a cynical anti-PAP youth or whatever but I just have this thought.

Why waste so much money on this faithful day? (Also note that they have lots of rehearsals and a trial parade).

I have a suggestion.

To celebrate August 9th, our liberation date, why don't we excel in doing what is really needed most.

Communal bonding.

People from different races interacting and getting to know one another better.

Networking session perhaps but it can be a day where effort is placed into enhancing relationships be it with colleagues or neighbours.

Take this current scenario:

At least 5,000 people are deployed to execute the National Day parade.

For what ? To show our neighbours like Malaysia, Indonesia or even USA on how strong our military is and how unified our multi-racial citizens are?

I guess there is no need for that as we have transformed tremendously for the past few decades thank you very much.

Instead, transfer all the funds and manpower to organize events where people can meet-up, chat and relax.

For example, our President can invite a few of his mates from wherever be it Suharto or Megawati to have a simple dinner and talk about bilateral ties or whatever shit politicians do like improving the number of dustbins around MRT stations or how to make the sky even more blue and haze-free.

To conclude, I pretty much loathe National Day Parade for what it stands for.

It might symbolize a unified nation but to think about practical costs, is it really that worth it?

So many people participating in the event complain and whine and antagonize the amount of waiting and trouble that have to go through.

It might be fanciful for small kids to look at fireworks and a parade to give him the impression of Singapore One United but we all know that Singapore has been beneficial to us with a sense of warmth and comfort.

That's what Civil & Moral Education in primary and secondary school is for, right ?

Don't get me wrong, I commerate special days like Aug 9th or my birthday (Aug 31st)[get the hint again].

But to me, National day parade is just so wrong.

Cynical nationalistic practicalist,
Benjamin

Routine

I'm kinda settling down to a fixed routine.

Regular late evening jogs and staying away from fatty food, my only indulgence would be a slight sip of fizzy drink or bottled coffee.

Suprisingly, little or no contact with any friends might seem like a hermit but it's kind of refreshing somehow.

I've officially stayed away from using my mobile for more than a day or so.

So nice to have radiation frying my brain = )

In less than 10 days, a countdown for me kind of ensues.

It kinda sucks big time that my confinement period clashes with the olympics. Guess I'll have to wait another 4 years to catch the action.

I think I should rename my blog along the line of "Confessions of a Male Singaporean Shopaholic (MSS)".

Reasons being, I just saw another item that I would like to purchase. $89 I thinkesh.

Arsenal Home Jersey for 2004-2006. Would last me a good 2 years = ).

Get the hint peeps. My birthday falls on 31st august hor, so I most prob come out on the 1st or 2nd week of September, I expect showers of presents when I reach home.

Who am I kidding. All my frens are either shagging their girlfriend during their weekend break or working in banquet earning a quick buck.

It's kinda pathethic when ur bank account is barely 3 digits and your only form of window shopping is online shopping.

Speaking of online shopping, I have an ex-colleague who so adores A & F (Read abercrombie & fitch for those non-brand conformists) and she orders them through her niece studying there.

I have a mini shopping list of about $200 for A&F stuff for their new Summer 04 collection.

Guess that list will end up in the trash.

Come to think about it, most of my entries are either about shopping or about my pathethic life trying to have friends, be fit and get hooked up.

I guess I'm just another horny typical Singaporean teenager = )

And I wanted to talk about patriotism, waste of $ and manpower for National Day. I guess I'll get down to my whining in my next entry.

Counting down,
Benjamin