Drive

I have shit loads to do.

Have to do up a powerpoint but I prefer blogging my points here. It's barely 20 minutes from my last post but who cares? It's saturday. So, I can blog now instead of later.

What happened in the last 30 minutes? Nothing much can be expected from a typical Singaporean. Lying listlessly on my bed typing this blog, this got me thinking. 30 minutes just passed in my life, how will the next 30 minutes be? Your answer is likely to be improve on the last 30 minutes of course. The Main Question is: If you kept improving in life, you reached nirvana and achieved self-actualization, then whats next ? If you happen to be such a person, that means you just disproved the highly acclaimed Maslow's hierachy of needs. You form the eighth and highest level of the pyramid. I shall aptly name it, the need of no needs.

When will anyone reach that level ? For me, it would have to be having a group of genuine friends, have a trillion dollars safely in my Swiss bank account, own my own airline and castle. Additionally, I would have a harem to boast of and I lay by the Olympic pool side that I owned doing practically nothing, looking sexy with my fats bulging out of my little speedo. That will be the day when I have climbed the 8th level of the pyramid. Sadly, few have reached those heights and even so, they would have turned pyschotic or plain moronic by now.

If only wishes came true. Then, I would ignore my need for love, need for security and the need for acceptance by taking an escalator to the highest possible level, by stepping/using all those that i know of to attain that level. As unethical and despiscable it might be, I will be pyschotic enough to try that now and then. Who honestly tells me that they don't want a harem ?

Topic of the day : Learning to Drive

Poor people are typical EZ-link card users to get around. Aka me. And those smart buggers like me who dont waste money to buy a piece of useless paper that decompose after 10 years. Aka COE. I can't drive because I am too busy to take proper driving lessons that cost a bomb where I could instead, teach my driving instructor a lesson by placing a bomb in his car.

I took 5 driving lessons before I stopped. One, I was busy with school projects. Two, I was busy making mistakes learning how to drive on the road while the instructor slept. Mr Lim, my driving instructor was one of a kind. He has been teaching driving lessons to students for 20 odd years. His experience snored louder than words.

One day, I was brought to a car park beside Bedok Stadium to do roundabouts. This was to practice my gear shifting and my brake. Most of my driving lessons are held in the afternoon and you all know how afternoons are in the summer. The bright sun gleaming while those who enjoyed air-con, slept soundly. Which was what my instructor did exactly for 30 minutes. All i could do was to keep my eyes on the roundabout and pray that I don't hit a vertically parked coach whose driver was also enjoying his afternoon nap in the comforts of his driving seat.

On the other hand, I was most uncomfortable that I paid $33 for my lesson where all my instructor was drool. If I wanted that to happen, I would be more charitable and donate that amount to SPCA and hug a dog to sleep. At least i get to be with a cuddly creature than a dickless driving instructor.

At least now you know why a country so small has so many accidents a year and public funds are wasted notifying drivers how to drive safely. The government should channel the funds to purchase Viagra for driving instructors, to make them awake all day, all night.

- Benjamin