Monogamy

I did not intend to blog today. Just before I was about to lay in my coffin, one word caught my eye as I read someone's blog. The word was "monogamous".

For those English-impaired, monogamous as defined by dictionary.com as the condition of being married to only one person at a time or having sexual relations one at a time, (I presume one partner the whole lifetime.)

Now, imagine if the whole world was monogamous. There would be no sex-crazed offences, no prostitutes and no wonderful shows like 'Sex and the City'. Women would be even more picky about the guy they would eventually end up with the whole lifetime as they have to be selective about their climax partner.

This is an insane issue that I'm throwing up here but if defined properly by the Romantic Society, there is only One love out there. The person's true love. So, do i have to scan through the World population of 4 billion profiles before i know where is my true love ? That is then there and there I will have a monogamous relationship.

Going back to the monogamous world, if everyone is only entitled to only one sexual partner, will that make the world a better place ? Let's evaluate together.

The perks are that the gals will NEVER every complain about bad sex or having not climax with their male counterparts during sex. As they only have one experience to speak of, if the partner they choose is a bad hog who lets the women do the work or an aggressive bull humping the whole night long, nobody can really define what is good OR bad sex. In other words, the world is a better place, with less Aunt Aggie column's of "My honeymoon lasted a minute" or "How to fake a climax" articles.

Furthermore, with the rule of One women only, Men can NEVER EVER make anyone else pregnant unless they have chosen "The One". Thus, men will be faithful and divorce rates are likely to stay at 0%. Men will spend less time picking up gals and bringing them home in taxis in the wee morning and will sleep early and get up with more energy to boost productivity.

Are you in support of monogamy ?

This is the downside.

For women, if one can only have one sexual partner, they would be VERY choosy and hence, 30% of the women will end up as lesbians or bachelorettes for life. They spent more time shopping if their husbands are awful in bed and having high credit expenditure which eventually causes bad debt and increase the economy's bankruptcy population. This is because as identified by experts, if women have bad sex or they don't get any at all, they seek other pleasures like Chocolate cake, ice-cream or blow-up dolls. We all know how inflated the prices are as years go by. Back then, one Snickers bar cost $0.70. Now, it is an amazing $1.50.

For men, the downside of having no women to experiement would lead to giving VERY bad sex to the final woman they choose. Initially, they would pump and give it their best shot, as encounters go by in bed, they weaken and lose interest and hence, bad sex. This in turn, leads to the above forementioned effect on women. Also, suicidal rate in the country will peak to a limit as they cannot divorce their women and they have to hear them nagged about the "slug in bed" or "limping kangaroo" insults which would hurt men's ego and cause them to jump down from high-storey buildings, join politics or intake too much viagra and hence, death.

For the economy, it will be a deep decline with our tourism industry taking the biggest cut. A cutback on the Geylang, Bugis, Chinatown and Changi Village income from foreigners is the main reason. Furthermore, there is no need for condom, contraceptive pills or Hotel 81. Besides that, divorce lawyers have to switch their careers to toilet cleaners and dating services and hotlines will cease to exist with little business.

Imagine the world monogamous.

I'm a monogamous person. If I really love someone, I will stick through her thick and thin, till death do us part. Of course, there will be furtive glances at other attractive gals once in a while but I always know that my heart has already been given away. Unless it's broken and then I have to mend it and give it to someone else. Come to think of it, monogamy is a virture worth valuing.

- Ben

P.S. Monogamy has always been linked to conservatism. Call me old-fashioned, call me a stick in the mud. I truly feel loving only one person is giving AND receiving TRUE happiness.