Jaded

I hate weekend duties.

I'm heading back to camp on Sunday tmr.

Super sianz mood.

And the following weekend would be out in the woods fighting for my life, to be evaluated on my competency.

I shall not whine. I shall not whine.

I'm now at my brother's place, so much easier to get to camp tmr morning from here.

Word has it they are going clubbing at MOS.

I'm like. Urm Okay.

Bring me there then.

Weekend duty equates to sleep anyway.

Lately, I've been lost in my thoughts.

Is there really a nirvana out there?

When one can be at bliss with him/her self?

Can people truly be happy without being deluded.

I guess it is human kind to have greed and yearn for that much something more.

It is scary that life has evolutionize to the stage where it is a way of life.

It is a cut throat world out there once Pandora's book is open.

I guess I'm feeling jaded.

Trying to ask the question of what's life really all about.

What are we living for ?

I don't like to be lead by a blind faith or a weird obsession to push me on my journey on life.

I think I will continue searching till I reach a ripe old age and still never an answer.

My answer would most probably nil.

I guess my purpose in life is just to wander around aimlessly.

Be among one of those that will wander around the planet trying to make a small impact in life.

I know I cannot be Donald Trump, Jack Neo or that guy who pluck eyebrows in the streets and made Fann Wong cried becoz he stripped down to his yellow speedos.

I guess I'm worth much more than that.

Starting to feel like an andriod.

Go into the work system, sloathe my energy into the mindless vortex and pay my taxes.

And then die in oblivion, leaving a legend with my kids.

That is if I ever to get to have kids.

Then again.

Life is what I want to make of it.

And as jaded as I appear to be now.

I'm just waiting for all the good stuff to appear.

Ben