Being Good

For this 3-days away from camp, I'm going to be a studious army boy.

I'm going to S T U D Y.

Just imagine vectors, angles, sin cosine & tangent placed in complex problem sums.

If I fail, I'll be slapped hard in the arse for 'failure to comply with standards'.

Going thru the lessons and revisions, it's very taxing on the brain day in day out hearing figures and formulas on the whiteboard from 9am to 9pm.

At the very least, I don't feel dumb anymore, as I see a larger picture of the role that I have to play if I'm placed admist the battlefield unlike the infantry which is a 'minor manouevre' force.

Lately too, I feel my life is a bore.

Look at my blog and all you can read is whinings about in-camp life.

I need some spice in my life.

I've thought of not procrastinating on my driving lessons and take up Japanese lessons for the minute possibility that I wanted to be a future air steward (you can stop laughing now).

Whatever possibilites there might be, there is an Aussie uni fair next week with my bunkmates and I think I'll be submitting a few applications to see where I'm granted admittance and I'll take my pick from there.

I'm counting down to October 1st. Commissioning parade.

Only then can I heave a sigh of relief of the ordeal that I placed myself into and look positively for the future ahead.

Studious and be-spectacled,
Benjamin

B-day planning

I spent my Saturday avoiding my little white file of numbers.

Attending birthday parties and catching up with friends, 24 hours of Saturday just gone in a poof.

Time is so short when you're having fun.

My FDM test is next Monday and my understanding of the topic borders on the line of bewilderment and blur.

In 1 word. Screwed.

Oh, and I have to start planning for my 21st birthday party.

I will be in Thailand during my 21st birthday so I either have a belated b-day party or post-B-day party which would most probably be at a chalet.

I have a dream, a wish actually and hopefully I can fulfill it on my 21st birthday party.

I've always aspired to be a reality show director.

Hence, I'm planning to organize a Reality show where all my friends & family will participate in a reality show format that I arranged at the chalet prior to the night party where everybody will be fussing over the BBQ & keeping themselves self-entertained.

If you're wondering, it'll be Amazing Race cum The Weakest Link cum Survivor cum Fear Factor cum The Apprentice style.

And yes, I've put some tentative thoughts on what to do and what equipment I need.

Which btw, is video camera equipment becoz I intend to FILM it and then EDIT it so it shall be my very own self-made reality show.

The logistical problem would be getting everyone participating to be ON TIME and FREE THEIR SCHEDULE and be proactive.

Will see how lar, if any of my frens reading this and is interested, leave a comment on the shoutbox or feedback, at least I know of the interested parties.

I only wish for my dreams to come true.

Benjamin

Math

Nope, I didn't do a Copperfield.

I'm still blogging but lately, 'commitments' to army means I have more tasks and responsibilities that disallow me to blog as often as I like.

I don't know whether it's my computer but I can't seem to see any images on my blogsite.

I'm not sure what's happening to blogger or is it some setting in my IE that I set accidentally but just staring at text can seem a bit boring leh.

If anybody knows what's the problem, please SMS me or email me.

Life in camp has been mind taxing lately.

It's like 'A' maths lessons again back in Secondary school only this time, it's a pressure cooker situation with 8-5 every weekday, new topics each day.

I'm struggling to keep up with the Math. Sigh.

I have LOADS of homework and have lots of side tasks to do.

Will blog more later, have to head for the books.

Benjamin

To blog or not to blog?

That is the question.

A state-funded scholar posting racist remarks on his blog and another student being sued due to discriminatory remarks. read about it...

If you've been paying attention to the Singaporean Blogsphere, you can certainly feel the heat of the ongoing drama of the small world bloggers live in.

I know one thing for sure.

There is no anoymity on the net unless you set up a website or post your entries on some pseudo names like Kitty333 or ImSoAnoynomousYouCanTcatchmoi.

But we all know the abscene of a certain identity would result in a lesser of a certain credibility.

Bloggers have a voice and that's why they blog about it.

In a way, we're gatekeepers.

Like MediaCorp or Singapore Press Holdings, the blogger's appeal to a niche audience make them mini gatekeepers of what the audience will be reading.

For some bloggers, they have an extensive audience and what they say or express could possibly have an 'influential shift of impression about the person/topic/situation of the partaking audience.

That said, freedom of speech has now been scarred from the abovementioned incidents and frankly, I myself am more wary of what my fingers dance upon on my QWERTY keyboard.

My thoughts on the above events coincedentally clashed when Ivan mentioned stuff about my blog.

Being a fellow officer-to-be in the SAF, Ivan mentioned whether I should remove my blog all together or make it private because the men/privates/soldiers that I will be leading in future will know my entire existence of how I feel in a website.

I've been pondering about this situation alot.

People that I know vaguely would know about my innate thoughts which in turn represent that people would know me more better than they should know.

It's a bizzare situation, I tell ya.

Imagine if someone on the street came up to ya and asked you about some random topic you blogged about and there you'll be dumbfounded having the slightest clue of the identity of the person talking about you.

It's a terrifying feeling if you have vivid imagination like me.

Essentially, that is part & parcel of being a public blogger.

A blogger can be one who shares his/her inner feelings to ANYBODY that's reading and the hazard of it all is that the people who read about it is people you don't want to at all.

It all boils down to the question of the lifetime:

To blog or not to blog?

My vehement reply.

YES

My beliefs still stand unshaken, I'm still entitled to my freedom of speech.

I'm entitled and that also means I'm restrained with that privilege since I'm born under the white shirt kingdom Republic of Singapore.

My rights are set in the Constitution and ignorance of what law exists is only bullocks. Be ascertain of what you know before you type duh! Or face the consequences.

That means I know what my legal boundaries are if I have to type negatively about how I feel regarding certain people/organization.

Nonetheless, anything about me will still still remain as it is.

My anxieties, my aspirations, my qualms, my hopes, my fears.

There is nothing to hide, I made public of the kind of human being I am.

My personality is such that I'm an open person with no some skeletons that I keep privately stashed.

Everyone has their skeletons, some may open the doors and share it with the world or some will just bury it with them to their graves.

Blogging has already integrated into my lifestyle.

I've already forgot why I began blogging in the first place.

Be it my innate ability to share with the world out there on what I to say or my aching ability to just type endlessly & mindlessly, I'll never find out.

I'll blog whenever time permits, you could call it a routine or a hobby. I don't think I'll ever stop myself from being heard of whoever wants to read about it.

Lengthy issue aside, here comes my scoop about life as an Artillery Officer Cadet.

It's tough I tell ya.

Many perceive life in the Artillery which is classified under the support side as 'senang' or 'slack'.

They are so wrong.

The preview in the first week was already hell-ish enuff.

You have to know the equipment, the complicated maths that comes with it and you're faced under the scrutinity of time of making accurate calculations.

Coupled with the fact that there is still physical training to keep fit and the stress factor of regimentation, I'm starting to to feel the crunch.

Nonetheless, I like the vocation because I'm more of a thinker than a physical person. More brainpower than brawn.

The shitty thing was I assumed that I was booking out early but the lengthy lessons were snowballed and the anitcipation built-up to book out was like a fireball.

When everybody booked out at 11pm, my gaze was like Superman's laserbeam eyes, slicing up anyone who was ready to snatch my cab.

I was angry because my friends were waiting for me to attend Wendy's birthday party.

I reached only at midnight past and almost everyone has left.

Save for my patient pals who were waiting for me (or the fact that they needed a mahjong kaki).

June & Me

June trying to take a shot of the forlorn Ivan who was losing loads of $$$ to me

If I forgot to mention, it was Wendy's 21st birthday and it was held at Changi haunted Aloha chalet

The busy birthday hostess has many guests so the bunch of us had to entertain ourselves with the tiles.

So all 4 of us guys, officer-cadets from DMC, each from a different vocation went into war into the battle of the 144 tiles.

Army (Me & Eric) vs Air Force (Ivan) vs Navy (Aaron).

SITREP (Situation Report)
The navy faced a diastrous loss whereas the Artillery & the Air Forces came up victorious !!!

BTW, Aaron is flying off to England (gasp!). He's gonna be a naval officer and get commissioned by some monarchy (gasp!)and rumour has it that it might be the Queen of England (gasp!).

How come nothing good is coming out of my life : (

Ironically, this morning, as I was bored out of tears with the fact that nothing good is coming out of my life, decide to put in some effort for my further studies.

I was doing research on the various universities that I might enroll myself in a UK uni.

I need a friggin application form from the British Council but it's closed today as it's Labour Day.

Gonna meet up with the Bunch for the movie Divergence. Hope it's as good as the media frenzy it cooked up.

Belated Happy Birthday Miss Cheng & Happy Mother's Day,
Benjamin