a relook into the past

I was looking through my past entries.

And it was quite a laughing matter to me to see how I think and feel in the past.

My blog entries were chunky, idealistic and lots of blabbering.

And yes, it was full of substance and it gave insights to my thoughts and what makes my brain tick.

And now, it seems that I have grown to be some jaded fool.

My entries have succumb to daily rantings or narrations of my daily life.

I guess my writing style has changed or psychologically I have changed.

Maybe, I've have become less opinionated and more guarded.

I know blogging is about liberating one self but with that comes the loss of privacy.

And I don't want to be an open book I suppose.

There's more to me then that.

As I await for the ferry on the way home just now, I was looking up at the azure blue sky.

I was taking in the bluey blueness of the skies.

Entranced by the vastness.

And my mind wandered to how I need to need to re-organize back my life it once was.

Been messing it up lately and I think it's time to dry the eyes and stand up to face the world.

People are not aware of the devastation they leave behind when they feel one is disposable.

Once bitten, twice shy.

It's part of my own life experience.

Patching myself together.

Focus on my final assignment now.

Final stretch before my examinations.

Looking forward to be back in Singapore.

Not for anyone. But to be back in familiar ground with the whiff of great food and amazing friends.

1 month to go.

in preparation for hibernation

As the blog entry title suggest, examinations are approaching.

Time to stock up. Don't wish to go out and eat during the study period.

I must say I've going to behave like a bear.

Lots of munchies to sustain till I come back to Singapore.

5 weeks !!!

Can't wait to go back. For you know who. =)

Had a authentic Greek lunch before grocery shopping.

Expensive but it's worth the experience. Pretty sumptuous.

Will go back there for a celebration if possible.

the headline

Headline for the day.

"It is now criminal for prisoners and prison guards to have sex in Western Australia."

Wow.

I did not even know it was even ALLOWED.

Amazed.

Anyway, this week is busy.

An upcoming exam on Friday.

Wish me luck.

need sleep

I'm in lecture now.

Really hard to absorb with my limited concentration due to my lack of sleep.

Will have to do self study.

Sigh.

2 assignments due next week.

Gearing myself up for it slowly.

Writing stuff about politics. Argh headache.

Must persevere. Must persevere. Must persevere.

Will da pao home from the school canteen, take a light shower and plonk into bed.

At least another hurdle cleared.

the sleepy kiddo
Ben

letting go

I know I shouldn't be blogging now but my hands are itchy from out of the blue.

So it's rare that I'm raring to blog.

I was randomly surfing around blogs.

And one particular entry caught my attention.

I read it twice. And closed the window.

That entry was about the ghosts of the past coming back to haunt you.

Everyone has skeletons in their closets.

They gather them along as they go, sometimes stuffing it under the carpet, wishing it all never happen.

I get that sometimes.

I made mistakes that I would make me scringe whenever I think of it randomly.

And they do come in spastic moments.

From heart-wrenching memories to embarrassing moments, these specters of memories randomly float around my head at odd moments when I least expect it.

I think it's wise to just lift your head high from the gloom that dooms us.

And look ahead.

Because there's always a better future out there.

Patience. And there is always a better horizon out there.

For you and for me. =)

Winkz.

the kiddo that can't wait to be home,
Ben

P.S. On a different note, my preliminary timetable is out. It's shitty.
My last paper is on the 29th June. Sucks. Big. Time. Tears. My. Hair. Out.