a relook into the past

I was looking through my past entries.

And it was quite a laughing matter to me to see how I think and feel in the past.

My blog entries were chunky, idealistic and lots of blabbering.

And yes, it was full of substance and it gave insights to my thoughts and what makes my brain tick.

And now, it seems that I have grown to be some jaded fool.

My entries have succumb to daily rantings or narrations of my daily life.

I guess my writing style has changed or psychologically I have changed.

Maybe, I've have become less opinionated and more guarded.

I know blogging is about liberating one self but with that comes the loss of privacy.

And I don't want to be an open book I suppose.

There's more to me then that.

As I await for the ferry on the way home just now, I was looking up at the azure blue sky.

I was taking in the bluey blueness of the skies.

Entranced by the vastness.

And my mind wandered to how I need to need to re-organize back my life it once was.

Been messing it up lately and I think it's time to dry the eyes and stand up to face the world.

People are not aware of the devastation they leave behind when they feel one is disposable.

Once bitten, twice shy.

It's part of my own life experience.

Patching myself together.

Focus on my final assignment now.

Final stretch before my examinations.

Looking forward to be back in Singapore.

Not for anyone. But to be back in familiar ground with the whiff of great food and amazing friends.

1 month to go.

in preparation for hibernation

As the blog entry title suggest, examinations are approaching.

Time to stock up. Don't wish to go out and eat during the study period.

I must say I've going to behave like a bear.

Lots of munchies to sustain till I come back to Singapore.

5 weeks !!!

Can't wait to go back. For you know who. =)

Had a authentic Greek lunch before grocery shopping.

Expensive but it's worth the experience. Pretty sumptuous.

Will go back there for a celebration if possible.

the headline

Headline for the day.

"It is now criminal for prisoners and prison guards to have sex in Western Australia."

Wow.

I did not even know it was even ALLOWED.

Amazed.

Anyway, this week is busy.

An upcoming exam on Friday.

Wish me luck.

need sleep

I'm in lecture now.

Really hard to absorb with my limited concentration due to my lack of sleep.

Will have to do self study.

Sigh.

2 assignments due next week.

Gearing myself up for it slowly.

Writing stuff about politics. Argh headache.

Must persevere. Must persevere. Must persevere.

Will da pao home from the school canteen, take a light shower and plonk into bed.

At least another hurdle cleared.

the sleepy kiddo
Ben

letting go

I know I shouldn't be blogging now but my hands are itchy from out of the blue.

So it's rare that I'm raring to blog.

I was randomly surfing around blogs.

And one particular entry caught my attention.

I read it twice. And closed the window.

That entry was about the ghosts of the past coming back to haunt you.

Everyone has skeletons in their closets.

They gather them along as they go, sometimes stuffing it under the carpet, wishing it all never happen.

I get that sometimes.

I made mistakes that I would make me scringe whenever I think of it randomly.

And they do come in spastic moments.

From heart-wrenching memories to embarrassing moments, these specters of memories randomly float around my head at odd moments when I least expect it.

I think it's wise to just lift your head high from the gloom that dooms us.

And look ahead.

Because there's always a better future out there.

Patience. And there is always a better horizon out there.

For you and for me. =)

Winkz.

the kiddo that can't wait to be home,
Ben

P.S. On a different note, my preliminary timetable is out. It's shitty.
My last paper is on the 29th June. Sucks. Big. Time. Tears. My. Hair. Out.

grouchy

I'm feeling grouchy of late.

Yea.

Can't really pinpoint to one main reason.

Maybe I'm kinda sick.

Not as in physically sick but more attributed to the life here.

I want to be home.

Home to my friends, home to my family, home to my loved ones.

I'm aware of being here now is for the better benefit of my future.

Getting a piece of paper to signify how smart I can be.

I'm starting to loathe pizza, fake chinese food and all the bread sandwiches.

I'm alert to my diet now and seeing the selection available here makes me sick.

Oh well.

the unwell kiddo
Ben

errands and knots

having just cleared an assignment yesterday, it's really a load off my mind.

that said, these 2 days will be running my errands.

packing my room, clearing my trash, doing groceries, laundry.

in a way, i'm silently counting down to end of the semester.

as much as i'm into it now, taking in the moment of enjoying my assignments, i just wish to end it all so i can return home.

maybe i'm a nary home-sick. maybe i just to be not alone anymore.

pandering in this wilderness can be lonesome sometimes.

the wiltful kiddo
ben

microwave daze

Woke up late today.

my assignment barely scraping through.

Die liao.

I'm too complacent.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a public holiday.

Which means more days to do homework.

woo hoo ! (and i'm not kidding...)

Yesterday, lucky I packed a sweet n sour chicken rice for my lunch.

Going to microwave it and then ham it up.

Gonna be a lazy Tuesday for me.

Will keep reminding myself to do my assignment.

Just need some motivation in life.

OEI, motivation ! wake me up.

the listless kiddo
Ben

hair raising days

Loitered around the city today.

Went to dye my hair after I had D.I.Y and it was somewhat patchy on the side of my head.

Hence, needed to do something about it.

Cutting hair in Oz is damn expensive.

I've learn to appreciate the low prices we have in Singapore, and I especially missed my barber at Katong =(

Nonetheless, I dyed my hair medium brown so I'm pretty amp-ed up on how i look.

It looks amazing in the sun.

I'm not trying to act ang mor hor but just looking good makes me confident =)

Anyway, random self pictures of myself and you can judge my hair for yourself.

1 month in Oz

DIY short hair

my short short hair

on the way to dye today

bleach-ed !

my newly dyed hair =)

That ends my adventure of my dye hair colour craze.

My scalp cannot take it anymore.

Enough torture for these few months.

Cheerio,
the chao-ta-scalp boi

early in the morning

the sun cowers over the azurean blue skies.

the weather is just blatantly perfect for me.

just another beautiful day for me to wake up to.

I laze around the house, using the internet and in bed.

My objective for today is simple and clear cut.

Extracting relevant data out from raw Roy Morgan datasheets for my Media Planning assignment.

It's due this Friday but I think it's easy pea-sy for me.

Will be heading out to the city for lunch by myself.

Just roam happily a bit like Stefanie Sun in her Soo Kee jewellery ads. hehe.

Just updated my profile on Friendster hehe.

Yeap. Life is as slack as can be.

Former friends of my blog, I've lost all my blog links, do feel free to leave a comment so I can add you to my friends list once more.

Ta,
the smiling kiddo

it's a beautiful day

I'm back from the hoodlums.

I'm out and about blogging once again.

As you can see, I have revamped my blog template to blogger's new style.

I'm too lazy to do up and edit the html a new template and hence, I just made some slight tweaks here and there to suit my personal style.

As you can see, my mood is all green and green.

I'm going back to my roots for nature and I'm fascinated in all things green.

Green stuff now catches my attention.

Therefore, the theme for the moment.

Anyway.

What is long overdue and moulding literally is updates of my life.

Yes.

This hiatus of a few months was for good reason.

As of today, I'm in Australia.

Yeap. I'm studying for my bachelor's degree in Business.

I'm majoring in both Advertising and Public Relations, hopefully I can work in this industry when I return back to homeland Singapore.

I'm optimistic and cheerful about my future.

I have settled down gleefully in my apartment with 2 other house mates.

Cool bunch of people that give me lots of headaches.

I shall spare you (the reader) the details.

But what have I learned thus far, is lots of independence.

Lots of personal growth, of what I have to do for my own survival.

Learning lots for me to bring back to Singapore.

When I secure a job and financially stable, I'll move out and be independent.

One less burden for my parents and a move to adulthood establishment.

Woo Hoo.

On another note, I love the weather here.

The sun is scorching (which I love) and the wind is cool and breezy (which is amazing).

I've met a bunch of Singaporeans here and they are a nifty bunch of folks I tell you.

Well, the main reason why I have rehash this interest for blogging is because I'm relatively bored.

Besides the Australian telly (which is blardy good) and Internet (whose connection is downright wonky), I only have me, myself and my books.

And when I put away my books, I only have myself to entertain myself. (note to all: my nifty friends which I mentioned above live a distance away from me and don't like to travel).

In the next few entries in the next few days, I'll layout few interesting stuff that happened to me here in Oz.

Cheerios,
the sunshine kiddo

A darn Good Day

Yesterday was a good day.

It's been a long time since I had an heart to heart talk.

We have indeed changed loads.

Matured a lot since we first met, exchanged lots of ideas and reminiscence the past events that befallen upon us, good and bad.

As I embark on my next phase of journey, I also wish you all the best.

I also dunno why I feel so good inside, maybe this is what they call buddies.

Take care dude.

Catch ya soon.
Ben

Carnivorous Clowns on the loose

I'm going to write in a third person perspective.

Why ?>>> Becoz it is 2 AM, I'm tired n wonky. So I have creative juices dying to burst out of my fingers.

It was a farewell session for my army buddies

Mr Yoke is heading to Tasmania to further studies. All the best to him =]

We headed to Vivocity for pure meat as request of a protein crave from Mr Ling.

Mr Gwee barely recovered from a hangover of red wine from the indulgence the night before and has come prepared with a growling stomach.

Mr BenBen aka moi is the organizer of this ferocious gathering and has recommended Brazilian churrascaria.

We gorged on our plates.

Mr BenBen dislike bacon and pork sausages. (No Pok, I tell you, or I call the police, Those who have not yet watch the RK Prata House No Pok Youtube video is a tad slow.)

Mr BenBen likes slab of bloody beef with grilled pineapple which makes for a scintilating taste.

Mr BenBen likes the four ORD personnel as four hungry clowns.

Mr BenBen ate like a pig and emerge as champion of the most amount of meat dumped on plate and swallowed into his vortex of stomach.

Mr Ling was the weakest despite of the fact it was his request for PROTEIN. Weakling.

Mr Gwee looked bloated before the buffet. Mr Gwee still looked bloated after the buffet. He blames the sweater made him look bloated. I say, blame Topman for creating it.

Mr Yoke was tough competition for Mr BenBen who challenged and vyed for the award of making full value of the buffet price.

Through that heavy hearted meal, the four clowns talk about the fun army days.

The clowns talk about how life has changed with our present jobs.

Mr Gwee is a lab technician and plays with Pinky and the Brain.

Mr Ling is a park ranger who goes around scounting for littered used condoms around bushes.

Mr Yoke is a freelance architect that designs houses for stunted people.

Mr BenBen is a retail assistant that helps ugly people to become beautiful and in his line of job, he meets a lot of beautiful people that are very ugly no matter what. (Especially when they complain.)

All in all.

The four clowns had an amazing time.

After which, they went jalan jalan and booked tickets for what is a formidably traumatizing show for Mr BenBen.

It was in fact a carnivourous show.

How apt for a day like this.

Name of Movie : Apocalypto

The show was full of Carnivorous appetites from the weirdest director himself, Mr Mel Gibson.

Scenes of oozing brains and pumping heart reminded Mr BenBen of what he just ate at Carnivore.

Be glad for the Golden Village management.

Mr BenBen did not puke on the miserly third row seat that he got.

It was a fun Saturday out for the four clowns.

After that, Mr BenBen left the circus and met his new galpal, Miss G for Seafood.

But that story is for another day to come =}

For now, let the pictures do the talking.

Scene of the Crime

Mr Yoke aka Nerd in Love

Mr Ling aka DOTA gymmer

Mr Gwee aka Hole-in-the-heart slacker

Mr BenBen aka Wacky blogger

Mr BenBen n Mr Yoke

Mr BenBen n Mr Gwee

Mr BenBen n Mr Ling

Starving carnivorous clowns

Mr BenBen brought Miss G for seafood, phobia of red meat

Mr BenBen and the mysterious Miss G

Last but not least, a goofy shot of Mr BenBen

I admit I need an application form to the Mental Hospital,
Mr BenBen

Rogue

Ended work.

Headed to Rogue with pals.

Had some drinks. And then more.

Lots of games. Only quick-minded survived the alcohol.

Least to say anyone survived.

I had fun.

Getting high on all the alcohol.

Next time, it shall be Double O.

Cheap drinks, dance floor and better crowd.

At Rogue, we content ourselves with the live band and our own live amusement.

It was more than sufficient to occupy our night.

Whoopee.

Working tomorrow morning.

Sianz.
Ben

blog upgrading soon & some reflections of life

Wow.

I just read a comment left behind by a blog reader.

I didn't know my blog was being kept in close tabs.

Honestly, I'm silently surprised.

My life is like anybody else's.

I just like to dot mine with photos.

Yes, voyeuristic by nature. But most blogs all fall into that category.

I think with that comment, I'll try to blog more. I will be editing my blog layout in late feburary since alot of links are practically dead.

Today on the train.

I was thinking to myself.

How in my different phase in my life, I have gathered and known people which I still do bother do keep in contact with.

Here's a rough list.

My cousins, Daphne and Faith since young and especially after my secondary school years when I would spend my holidays hanging out with them.

Jun Mian, my best friend. Since secondary school years, we survived alot. Gals, soccer and pigging out on packets of $2 French Fries.

Clara, Ivan, Wendy, Gwenne and Aaron, my poly peers who influenced me who I am. From Foodcourt 6 to blogging to the most lame jokes ever.

Michelle, the internship gal who I formed a very close knit to.

Clement, Jason, Ling Wei, Yoke Chye and Alex. 23 SA would be very different without you. My army days was bearable with you guys around.

Jacque, my bro, although we hardly keep in contact now, we shared that connection when we lament about our singlehood. I cherish those days.

Shawn, Danny, Daniel, Javin and Zhen Xiang, you made me appreciate what friendship is, and that a friend in need is a friend indeed.

Nurul, Har Ni, Josephine, Hui Ting, Jezebel, Lay Chen and Sally , working with you gals, are definitely fun and without woe. We silently suffer but for a good cause and it's awfully fun. I will miss the camaradrie we have teasing one another and especially me being the wacky one.

I know most of you peeps won't read this but this was what went through my mind today.

With you peeps, I am who I am today.

And I'm thankful for that.

Ben

P.S. I'm not dying. Of any terminal illnesses, don't let your imagination run too wild or I'll come after you with a sledgehammer. *Eyes u-know-who*

Remember?

I wanted to go to sleep but a friend send me a photo.

He said.

"Remember those days?"

My reply.

"Yes, I do."

Alpha Officers

And tonight.

A colleague asked me to smile more, sensing my sadness.

The Bell n the Ben

I'll miss her too.

Thanks for the good memories,
Ben

2007

2007.

It still feels the same.

2006 has been a roller coaster year for me.

Ups and downs but I learn to live with what has past.

Bygones be bygones. Learn from the experience.

With newfound work in the later part of this year, I've been tired out like a forlorn zombie dragging my ass off to work.

Been clubbing, hanging around with friends and doing my own stuff.

Hardly blogging now.

I guess the interest has waned to a new low.

Less attention seeking and I'm more concentrated about doing stuff I feel like doing.

Blogging. Hmz, lesser of a passion now.

More photo taking though, as it is a picture of the past that will be forever be etched in a visual form, worthy of rememberance.

Here is the deluge of the last few weeks where I have been lagging in presence on the blogosphere.

Countdown to 2007 at Expo for Mambo Jumbo

Getting high on the stroke of midnight

Me n Clara

Me n Jason

Thomson prata army buddies

After Daren's performance - Arty Guys out in full force

Colleagues at Newton

Me, Shu Jun & Wei Yann

Me n Melvin

Me n Sally

Me n Elaine

More to come,
Ben

Feeling sickly

Been slaving off with ungodly hours these days.

As much as I enjoy my work intially.

Now, it's starting to be a little grating with all my soul's consumption towards working.

All that for gaining some life experience at the expense of my life span.

Tsk tsk.

Oh well.

Live and let live.

Feeling sickly from the long hours and really no mood to socialize anymore with anyone.

Starting to feel stale.

Blah.
Ben

Digestion

Today is my off day.

I spend the entire day digesting a novel with a fairy tale ending.

I accompanied a friend out to town and just chill out.

I feel so relaxed.

Life should be like this.

Full Marathon

Woo Hoo !

Sense of accomplishment.

I managed to finished the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon.

All 42.195 km.

It was pure torture I tell you.

Aching thighs but manage to grit my teeth and endure.

My running buddy accompanied me till the 8km mark before he sped off.

That is when my stitches and cramps starting swallowing my body.

But I endured so I can safely say I'm a finisher of a marathon.

Woo Hoo !

Some post-marathon pics. Now recovering at home, heading to work later.

Tata,
Ben

Washing up at the Esplanade

Yeah, we did it !