Jaded

As it turns out, Chinese New Year is a dud. Waking up in the morning, receiving guests, it was wonderful seeing relatives after one year has past and how all their kids have grown to climb over my head, throw my stuff around and wrecking my room but I take it all in stride. Kids are kids after all.

Back to why I believe CNY is a dud for me, i know i ain't old and stuff but CNY has come to a time where getting hong baos, having stomachache after steamboat and juggling mandarin oranges is the norm. As usual, i take that all in stride as 75% of the population wore red gloriously getting their luck to come by and visit them on the first day of the CNY whereas the other 25% of the S'pore chinese population are wearing red undergarments quietly getting their luck through the Toto and 4-D tickets that they buy.

It has come to a point where CNY has little value for me. Beside meeting all my family and stuff, it was gratifying to know how others are doing and how miserable I am at being single, scrawny and stared at. Because I was sporting a Beckham hairstyle whom i was NOT trying to imitate but was doing in the name of fashion because short hair is kewl and everyone at my grandfather's place tease me.

Last year, I had dragonball hair. Yesterday, I had pointy Beckham hair. Next year, I will have botak hair (army). I'm just like standing on a podium, waiting for 10 Simon Cowell personalities Auntie to gossip about and will away their CNY frivoulously.

I don't even count the money in my Hong Baos like I usually do with relish in my past few years where I tore up the nice red packaging and see how much did a particular auntie gave me. Yesterday however, I have kept all my hongbaos in a box and hid it from myself. I ain't superstituous or stuff but red packets were suppose to represent the blessings of relatives and the value inside had relatively no value.

Today, CNY is about competition on which bloodkin was more "richer", rather superficial if you tell me but I am looking at this matter very superficially too. I vow that I will not use the money until I need it urgently or I have to put it in the bank to accumulate the miserly interest. I always keep my vows.

It is just pretty sucky to celebrate Chinese New Year (CNY) and then in a matter of hours, you have a big SAT test. I am fully not prepared but out of 1600, i guess I will get around 1200. I have hope. Hope that luck from the hongbaos work.

I will conclude CNY to 10 reasons of why celebrating Chinese New Year is like being on the Miss World paegent. There is no better way to express it.

10. You don new nice clothes for CNY
Particpants of Miss World don new nice gowns for CNY for their first time too.

9. You go around shaking hands with everyone during CNY
Participants of Miss World goes around shaking hands with any random passerby, whether they have SARS or not, they still do it.

8. Your family gather around on one faithful day of CNY to celebrate.
Family members of participants of Miss World gather around at one location to celebrate their daughter's crowning.

7. You wish everyone Happy New Year.
Participants of Miss World bless everyone with World Peace.

6. You have to act nice to all the cousins you don't like.
Participants of Miss World have to resist clawing their counterparts.

5. You wish to have luck for the rest of the year.
Participants of Miss World only want luck for themselves and not for the rest.

4. Chinese New Year is all about money.
Miss World is not all about money. It is about money, fame, glory, beauty, and sleeping with the judges.

3. You put on a fake smile in front of everyone.
Participants of Miss World went to surgically enhance their fake smiles for everyone.

2. Everyone eats loads of rubbish like crackers, roasted pork (bak kwa) and cookies for CNY.
Participants of Miss World avoid these rubbish but go for Slim 10 and Extrim.

1. Parents dread the day when CNY approaches.
Parents dread the day when their daughter gets crowned Miss World and she gets to find out she was adopted.

- Benjamin

P.S. I sound like an antagonist. I'm not really. I am really happy-go-lucky type of guy. After CNY that is.

Steamboat

As expected, there was reunion dinner that was eaten. It seems that it is a chinese tradition to have steamboat. Thinking about it, there never was such a tradition.

It was some rich people who like their food soggy because their seafood should be placed in salty stock like the sea they originate from and hence steamboat. It is now unavoidable to eat sea cucumber, cuttlefish, prawns and abalone in a steamboat.

You all know how weird we Chinese people are, we believe luck comes from red underwear and burning paper actually makes your dead ancestors rich. So, besides steamboating, we have a mini bbq grill around the steamboat to add variety to the way we cooked it. So, we eat barbequed sea cucumber, barbequed cuttlefish, barbeque prawns and barbeque abalone. You can imagine it is a season to get fat and MCs from the doctor.

The Chinese New Year this year is very auspicious to some people. Falling on Thursday and Friday, they can avoid work and officially have a 4 day vacation, which most take the opportunity to go overseas as a reason so as to avoid giving hongbaos to people. Smart ploy .....

Since I'm on the receiving end for the past 18 years of my lifetime, I wonder when will I be a giver. When is the proper age of marriage for me? I'll take the journey of self-discovery and take events as it comes. Chinese New Year is a period of time where you question yourself like the one above. This is because you put yourself through two days of torture by receiving goodwill from your uncles and aunts, you also receive discerning remarks and probing queries about how you've been.

I have compiled 4 embarrassing questions/stupid & dumb comments and my reply from my past Chinese New Years. They are as follows:

4. Ben, you've grown taller each year.
Reply: Duh ..... I can see for myself.

3. Ben, where is your girlfriend ?
I considered whether to say yes or no, because both have it perks and reprecussions. If i say yes, they will ask me her family background, blood type and the type of toilet paper she uses. If i say no, they will ask me whether I'm gay, looking for a gal who must be perfect or whether I'm gay. I always say no, and my curt reply is still finding lah .... and I slap them on the head with a steamboat pot if they ever question my sexuality.

2. How is your studies?
Reply: Yeah, finishing soon. this will entail another question. So going army soon lah, going to become botak leh, followed by giggles. I can only restrain myself with the steamboat ladle.

1. Where is your brother?
Foreword: my brother has this bad tendency of coming to any function late. It has been this case for 7 over years, what made them think this will change. Reply: Don't know, coming later. (As if I am a GPS monitor)

I have gotten so much feedback from my relatives on how I have grown, matured, developed and looked. Chinese New Year essentially is like a Miss World Paegent for teenagers like me. You get grilled questions on what have you done for the past year and how your looks are. Your aunties sit at the steamboat table and using their chopsticks, they wave at you and critique your every feature aka Antonio Banderes in "Are you hot?".

I just hope I can quickly grow out of this phase at get married. I don't mind being generous and give hell notes to my young ones and avoid the glare and questions from watchful aunts.

Chinese New Year is becoming more jaded for me. I heck care about how much I reap in, I am immuned to the goodies on offer, I am aghasted at the soft drinks poured for me. I just want to get it over and done with.

When did Chinese New Year become so difficult? Sigh.

- Benjamin

P.S. I just cannot imagine the next two days. Additionally, to add to the misery, I have to study for my SATs which falls on a saturday at 8 am in the morning and my prepration as of now stands at 15%.

Chalet

First things first, Happy Birthday to Felicia, my classmate and gal buddy who is there to hear me whine and stop me when I get too intellectually crappy for her.

Last Sunday, went over to Felicia's chalet, it was her 21st birthday party and everyone she knew I was there. I was like the only person not connected to her groups of friends aka Friendster and I mostly had to entertain myself with whoever was there initially which was Aaron.

I was the friendly one because I tried to interact with her different group of friends but you know how acquaintances are, a few questions and a yes and a no, the conversation gets awkward. That's how chalet parties are when someone invites different groups of people to congregate for a reason and when two cliques don't know one another, there will be like some perimeter when cliques will acknowledge invisibly and just keep to themselves.

In the end, I tried my best to chat but as usual, ended up at the BBQ pit. I do not declare myself an expert at fanning or cooking food but everytime I end up at the pit, the person cooking before me always complain and whine that they don't know how to cook corn/chicken/satay, especially they don't know when it is "okay" to eat.

For me, cooked means overcooking the food until something black appears. That is an okay sign of the food, "Okay, i'm ready to give some people bad stomachache." That is why I avoid BBQ food.

I barely had hours to sleep as I slept at 4 am on Sunday and woke up at 7 to rush for school, felt proud of this self-determination that I did not want to skip lessons no matter how unimportant they are. Well, it order to overcome this no-skipping rule, I had tortured my body that had earlier played vigouros badminton to my body becoming depleted because it did not rest well.

I ached. Thus, I didn't blog as I spend my whole day yesterday, sleeping in wonderland.

Something weird happened on Sunday too. Out of no reason, I went to gamble on Soccer. I'm not those gambling fanatics on soccer but I occassionally play mahjong for fun. As I'm anti-Manchester united and an avid Arsenal fan, I bought that Arsenal will win Aston Villa. My odds were doubtful as Arsenal was playing away and Aston Villa was in good form at home.

I did not know at the score at all as being at a chalet on Sunday, you are so distanced from any newspaper, internet or even TV news. With that 3 hours of sleep, I dreamt of something weird but I could recall that Arsenal won 2-0. It was freaky that I was dreaming of soccer because I never do and truth to behold, when I picked up the New Paper on Monday noon, the scoreline was REALLY 2-0. Freaky !

I don't consider myself a pyschic though. If you cannot dream about the future, you ain't a pyschic because all your mind is changing your frequency to tune yourself to radio waves. Like me, my brain changes frequency to accept radio waves.

- Benjamin

P.S. By the way, I won the soccer bet. Wasn't much but was just a test of luck and estimation on strength of the teams. Kept playing gin (a card game) with Aaron, and kept winning. Haha. Photos of the chalet below.

My very close classmate of mine, Zalinah and in her hand, the book of answers

Felicia there in black, Aaron in the front, Azlina on the far right. All classmates of mine.

My Brother

I just had to dedicate a post to my brother.

Mark is 6 years older than me, my only sibling and a tease to boot. He did not fare well in the academic field but he was a hardworking fella with those strong friendship ethics and that is why he was a prominent figure wherever he worked.

My relationship with his has been cordial. Since young, I did not spend much time with him as he was one of those few pioneer ah bengs. Dyed hair, sharp combs, late night homecomings and part time job hopper, he has seen much of the dark side of society by the age of 18.

Luckily, he did not fall into the entrapment of secret societies but he was bold and dare to try new things like dying his hair blue just before new year and my mother disapprove it as she was a traditionalist back then. That was like in 1996 or so.

My brother was a big flirt. He has a way with girls and can bring like 2 different girls home every week. I will not go to what explicit details back then as my memory is still vague because all of this was like in the late 90s where I was busy doing secondary 2 streaming.

At present, he is engaged to a wonderful eccentric gal, who is known as my sister in law. Mark and her have a playful relationship and they loved one another. They are already married under the eyes of the law last year May but will only get married this November because both of our families had a grandparent passing away. Note: Need to find a girl to bring to the wedding dinner. Need galfriend by then or die because of embarrassement.

Back in his ah beng days, he was defiant, rude and threaten to leave home to my parents. He has changed for the better now and brings my parents out to dinner now and then and they have a close knit relationship now. He also treats me better now, more concerned about what I do like getting my driving license.

After our badminton lunch, I told him about my situation of a makeshift foldable bed and a lack of tall mirror in my room. He was gladly willing to sponsor my expenditure at Ikea and yes, I love him for being my financial supporter and a great brother all together.

My brother, Mark. I know you will never get to see this but you are the best brother I ever had. (not because you are my only elder brother).

- Benjamin

P.S. I never get mushy over this family stuff. Don't know what overwhelm me to write this stuff.

And also before I forget, a rare picture of my family with my brother in it.

I had a bad feeling that I was about to be mutilated by the koalas

Badminton

Yesterday after the meat fest, I had to head someone to kill those fats.

Barely awake at 9am, I had to halt my father to wait for me so I can accompany him to the badminton hall. He plays badminton like a sunday religion but still, whenever he enters a place, the tummy will greet the entrance first.

Allow me to pack you with some details first. I'm not really a very sporty person as I have little stamina but I have been training regularly whenever time allows. Badminton is a sport that I play on and off, not really excellent but so-so. I got a shock of my life when I went to the hall today. You could say "sport shock".

Badminton I believe was my best sport ever. I started out warm-up rounds with my father and wow, they kept making me run back and forth. For the first 15 minutes, I exerted all I could for the past energy that has been stored up since I last played badminton a year ago. It seems that I was a failure as I always can't seem to hit the cock.

Then, my father's buddies came over and he trained me. He would shoot far shots for me to return and I had to run very far back. It seems my basics were all wrong when I self-trained as everytime a far shot comes towards you, you have to retreat so that when you receive it, you would have more energy as your posture is more stable.

Barely 30 mins later, exhaustion took over and I felt giddy. I could not believe the standard of myself compared to others. I knew I was a bad sportsman but that bad ? Sigh.

My brother, came 30 mins later to whack the discpline out of me as he teased me with his nifty moves and all I could do was stand in awe at his prowess even though he did not trained for the last 4 years or so. By the way, he was a school badminton champion and it seems a skill you have is a skill you will have forever.

Badminton blood is in my family I guess, I could play badminton as a novice amateur I guess as I could still throw in some smacks and receives here and there. At the end of the day, it was a great family together session I felt as my father, my brother and me never got around doing anything together. This is a first in my family history books for a long long time.

- Benjamin

P.S. It seems that I have the blood of a blogger.

Meat

I have the infamous chicken flu. Nope, I'm not suffering from any disease but it seems that I went on a mad dash craze on meat today.

Lunch was a fairly simple meal of having meat balls at Ikea, before proceeding to Lau Pat Sat for $30 worth of Satay and then finally to Cafe Cartel where I eat three quarters of the breaded chicken.

I'm bloated with meat dna. I'm sure I have put on at least 500 grams through todays ordeal.

Well, something interesting happened today. As I was covering the story about SP students at Lau Pa Sat doing some entreprenurial selling at "The Mission" selling satay, I took photos with the two funniest TV personalities.

Sharon escaped her satay jaga duties to be with me

The oil on her face superglued me for this shot

We call upon the gods of satay to bless thy everyone

They were very friendly and so was Irene Ang even though I did not had a chance to take a photo with her. Celebrities are indeed celebrities, they had to busy themselves appeasing agitated customers who queued for an hour to only end up not being entitled for their abalone, they had to curfew some fans to sign their autographs, they had to slave over the hot grill and serve overpriced satays AND they had to fend off competition who were trying to grab their customers from Jeff Wang and Sharon Au duo.

It was a glib show to watch and I truly enjoyed myself watching the debacle of wit and humour being displayed. I betrayed SP though as I faltered over to the NYP to get their satay with their attactive goodie bag and lucky draw chances. I like lucky draws. At least I know i stand a chance.

Anyway, I felt I had a good deal out of it and there was NO queue after all. I guess a can of abalone can really shut off the star power of "A" list Sharon Au. Oh well. I got interviewed on TV why I became a betrayer and all I could do was feigning hunger. So you could probably see me on TV like 10 secs. Ha ha.

Well, I have loads of articles to write. I love to write stuff, just hate to refine it. One of my editors claims that everybody who says they like to write actually do not like to write at all because they are forced to write. He belives nobody likes to write. I defended with my own point of view using me as a personal opinion that I love to write, spontaneous writing especially where I do not aim to write to please an audience like my blog for example. I just write whatever my mood feels like.

I further reiterated my point that everyone is an artist and that people express their feelings or thoughts through writing or even singing in the bathroom. It is just a different form of expression and each way they express themselves is individualistic and unique to their own style. Therefore, you cannot comprehend why a person would sing awfully in the toilet and people also cannot understand why I chose to write this article in my own manner.

Writing is an art. So is whining, photocopying your butt and digging your nose.

Your style. Your art. That's reality.

- Benjamin

Friday

It was suppose to be a rest day for a Friday.

Turns out I was packed to the brim. Not that I loathe it or am whining about it now, but I do think it is time for me to breathe among the midst of continuous action all the way from last july where I was packed with projects semester to final year project.

Firstly, i lugged the digital video camera in a big shiny sony box back to digital media studio before 9 am and the rush hour crowd was starring at me like I was some bomb-totting terrorist wannabe. After unloading, I had to rush to a press conference where I was covering for my school newspaper about an initiative by Singapore Recreation Club, the one next to the padang, which is starting a scheme to harness SP athletes to better polish their potential.

During this press conference, i met the Fox herself. Chery Fox from CNA, in person, she is as gorgeous and well-mannered as she is on tv. I just admired her from a distance but I was wondering what she was doing in the midst of a mini press conference with little news value in my own opinion.

Nevertheless, i was the photojournalist where I juggled with a digital camera and a notepad, scribbling down important details. Had lunch there and I got my first taste of escargot (hope i spelled it correctly). The snails taste rather okay though, not as icky as I expected but I found out that I loved a great appetizer.

First, use Ritz cracker as the base and then a slice of hardboiled eggs and top it up with those orange fish roes you find in sushis with a touch of mayo and a hint of lightly cut garnishing. It was A-delicious.

Rushed back to school to report back to my editors and return the camera they passed to me and had lunch over at the Staff centre. The food sucks. Sorry to say, but their speciality listed there which was Gyudon which I tried and had difficulty swallowing and since my editors were there I had to gulped it all up, with relutance.

Discussed about the polytechnic events going on and my slight hint of learning of photography. Note to myself: photography needs to be learned as it is an additional skill if I decide to major in journalism. Also note, the entry level camera is $1,700 which I can never afford. Last note, unless i strike lottery, buy it, in which case, never, because i don't buy lottery.

My day was not over yet. I headed over to the digital media studio and edited children voiceovers for the course video for approximately an hour before heading over to ESDD side to pass them the finished work. I had originally planned for my day to go for the press conference and then head to the library but looked what happened in between. To round it up, I went to the library because I needed to write a cover letter and borrowed more books on how to write the most employer-friendly resume and cirrculum vitae before finally walking home with my satisfied eventful day.

I love my life. All i need now is someone to share it with. Sigh.

- Benjamin

P.S. One blog reader of mine whom i didn't know until today, a dmc junior of mine, Siang Yew aka King, greeted me with my blog name out of nowhere. Was in a rush to return the camera, so if u see this, leave a comment or two.

Narcissim

Every human being is narcissitic.

The pope, the karang guni man and even yourself.

I read from research that the average man (and woman) will look in the mirror at least 8 times a day. No jokes about it.

People are self conscious on how they look to people and that is why people are trying to be "fashionable".

fashionable

\Fash"ion*a*ble\, a. 1. Conforming to the fashion or established mode; according with the prevailing form or style; as, a fashionable dress.

Style is set by people who claim what should be "in" and what is "uncool".

Therefore, people go for platform shoes in 1996 and bubble tea in 1999. A hype created by one, will pass on like a plaque to the other. Therefore, in order to reassure other people that you blend into the mold of society, individuals try to look "fashionable".

There are some people out there who are trying to make a statement by being bold, outrageous, unconformist. In the end, all they are trying to do is set their own style, impose images of "fashion" sense into people they interact.

I won't deny that i'm not a narcissist. I am. I love myself and I do not see anything wrong in that. I know i am not anywhere near perfection. Neither gorgeous or cute, I believe in the right to exalt in confidence with whatever that is given to me be it physical apperance or financial status.

At the end of the day, who are you trying to prove? Subconsciously, we always want to prove to our friends we are better than them, placing ourselves in better light so as to edge ourselves into better position. I guess it is inside us human DNA for us trying to outperform one another.

I'm not trying to be inspirational but everyone has their own set of style, sense and values. In the end, I hope everyone is trying to prove to only one person. Their own self that they can choose whatever they want to be and not get suppressed by what other people say.

I somehow can't seem to do that as I prefer to be with the flow. Understatement would my philosophy as it would do no benefit for me to be a Japanese punk to distinguis myself as the fashionable crowd.

I just want to be me. However, narcissitic i get. I deserve the right to do so. So do you.

- Benjamin

Practicality

I'm rehashing the issue of practicality again.

I just watched "School of Rock". A so-so movie, storyline was kind of expected and it didn't leave a strong impression on me. What did however was the unrealistic plot.

Jack Black was a subsitute teacher who took over a class and co-ordinated them to be a great rock band. The bad guys (the parents) came in at the end of the show to interfere and was taken aback by their children's performance.

Now, the only thing wrong with this picture was that these parents were those straight-faced, money-grabbing, elitist class people and what made them changed their minds suddenly when their children were rocking in front of a crowd who smoked marijuana and pierce their nipple. They want their children to be like that ?

Okay, so back to practicality. The show ended with them taking "remedial" lessons from the man himself but seriously, does anyone foresee a good future in the arts industry?

I'm not an arty person and I was tentative when I was given the chance to jump over the fence from academic to artistic. I wanted to become a performing artist in dramas and plays but I refrained from doing so. Maybe I didn't had the talent but one strong holdback was my survival for the future.

Artists don't make a good living. They struggle to make a name for themselves and only the polished gems make it through the heap of charcoal while the rest are left at the stubble.

Artists, may they be painters, photographers or performers, they simply don't have a strong future, especially in Singapore. That is why most of us take art, music or drama as a CCA the most, not pursuing further.

Engineers, doctors, scientists. Most of us aim to take this road because that is where the money lies but still, aren't we all to practical. I believe there was once in art, music or drama classes that we were inspired or our mouth held agape at the beauty of art even though we don't fully understand it.

You could say i'm an unpractical person. I follow my interest then what reality presets for me. My parents gave me the freedom to choose the route of junior college or a polytechnic education. I picked mass communications because i did not want to waste two years studying chemistry,advance mathematics, general paper and chinese where I will in the end, only end up using one or two of these subjects as a support for my university education.

In other words, I don't want to waste my time wasting brain cells at something which I won't use in future even though it is useful. So i place myself as practical. That is why I see reason in any single think i do. I'm a practical person. period.

I do it for the grades, experience, or to just assist a friend. But when there is no reason to do something that is just expending effort and time, I rather relocate myself to more useful stuff like sleeping (helps me recharge for the next day activities). I hate it when I know I have nothing to shop and I have no intention of buying anything, window shopping is the most boring thing that I would ever do.

Thats besides the point here, but humans are practical in the end i guess. Getting a life partner to live life with you, sharing HDB installments and having babies, a reason to move on to the next phase of life. I guess there is no spontaniety in life, if you make a rash impulse decision, you will regret it as you are shunned by all the other practical people in your life, like your family, friends and society.

There is no such thing as choice. Just the most practical choice. That's life. Live with it.

- Benjamin

All things Japanese

"I will sell my babies through the Internet"

This is a quote mentioned by my lecturer today out of pure accident. We were copywriting for a promotional headline from a child's perspective on promoting an IT related cost, I mentioned about I will sell my toys through the internet. I guess she shouldn't have a baby after all.

This is just one of the funny moments today because it was in a serious setting and that quote broke the monotony of seriousness.

I have received approval of a Japanese student who wil come over to stay at my house ! Woo hoo, it will only be for 2 days but cultural exchanges are so fun with those hand gestures and reading of facial expressions.

I remember when I went to Miyazaki for 7 days and had a home stay there with a typical Japanese family for 3 days. It was an unnverving experience as survival depended on them if they choose to feed you or eat you up like sushi and feed your bones to the dog. The father was an English teacher at an elementary junior high so that helped alot. I heard from many students of communication breakdown so I guess I'm fortunate.

Not to digress, as a "Gaijin" there, the first issue was bathing, we had to shower off all the dirt, grease and dog drool and then soak in a bath tub. Everytime the family allow me to go first. I showered, but avoided the tub. I can't imagine a family of 4 will soak in tub of same water. It's pretty unnerving.

Did I really face culture shock ? Frankly, i don't think so because I appreciate and like the Japanese way of life of being efficieny and cleanliness. It might seem like a schizophrenic fetish for hygenic stools to sit on because they want to increase their life expectency.

Their daughter who was 9, came to Singapore and lived with me for a couple of days. I am no paedophille but she is the most cuddly and most cherub face you could associate back then and everybody tease me about me and my "future wife". Hello ? 9 years old ..... I'm twice her age. My parents pampered her when she came, I suspect because of the lack of daughters in the family, my parents went on a shopping splurge for her in chinatown and got her anything she want. Was I envious ? nope. This was the only time that Mia (her name) came to Singapore. You could say a chance of a decade because when you have been someone once, you wouldn't want to come back again. The been-there-seen-that attitude.

A male university student from Tokyo is coming down. He is here on an English speaking immersion programme, lets see how his Engrish fares. I just want to see if Japanese has this particular idiosyncrasy which is evident with every Japanese that comes to Singapore. (I have met like 8 Jap. students and all of them shared this.)

They are curious about our Merlion.

Hell, we Singaporeans don't even care how the Lion shagged the mermaid and ended up at our fishing village. Our discoverer , Sang Nila Ut-cockeye-ma could not possible have seen a Lion because our historians say that only tigers exist here. Oh well, mistakes do happen. But this mistake makes people from the outside world that our descadents were merfolk that got pregnant with seed of the king of the jungle.

- Benjamin

Single yet Available

Next to family, studies and friends, your love life is one of the top few priorities of adolescene.

In a world filled with love, there is the single person and there is the attached person.

The attached person are sub categorised into 2 more general groups.

The first group is where they are known as the "Romeos n Juliets" where they have declared undying love to the other and will grow old and wrinkled no matter what.

The second group is the "Attached swinging singles", which i affectionatly term them as A.s.s. Basically, they are attached people who are still into the dating scene and are ogling over some cute guys or gals with their partner in tow.

These a.s.s gets on my nerves. Even though they have someone by their side, they still actively look for a replacement. It is like they are enjoying both sides of the world like bisexuals are to heterosexuals. This also equates to them in future that if they ever get married, they are also have a high probability of having mistresses or sex buddies that will lead the marriage vows to divorce.

The reason I am bringing this is up is to a dating blog competition that I recently joined. Because we can view some of the people that are already in it, I noticed many a.s.s.es in this competition that is dedicated to singles only.

Hello ? You have you share of the pie and enjoy it, stop snatching others and hoarding to what is yours. It is not only unfair but also unethical to the other party as they are unaware of what other "commitments" that you have made 7 months ago to a guy.

That is why you see so many "single yet not available" people that signed up.

You had your turn and you have your fun. Don't take what others haven't had a try yet.

- Benjamin

Porn

I just had to write this. The pent up social moaner is on the loose after being entrapped in the heap of dust of new year spring cleaning.

Porn. We all have seen it. Admit it. Those pop up windows, those dirty linen of yours, all swept under the carpet also known as your brain. Porn has always been deemed as socially unacceptable, especially in an Asian culture. With all that pent up sexual frustration, men resort to porn to "release" their inner desires.

Everyone is aware of its existence but are shy and deflect from it as a topic of conversation as it is just plain weird to have a porn conversation with anyone including your close friends.

Porn, like technology, helps improve mankind.

There I said it. This is because porn was being discussed with one of my lecturer. Yup, she says porn assisted and "spurted" the growth of humankind. Not that type of "growth" as in babies but to a new level of technology that improves a standard of life. By the way, I was not having a one on one discussion but porn was discussed with 101 students in the lecture hall.

Shocking? Nah. We were discussing about new communication technologies and her introductory level gave new perspective to porn. There is always an agenda when something is done. Like the reason you rob a bank is to get money or to consume fish to have a bigger brain. There is a correlation to what you do.

Regarding porn, it helped humankind to a new level. This was how. Back then in the 1960s, videotapes were nothing but there was a need to exchange unsavoury materials. The videotape industry grew leaps and bounds. Then came the internet but in the early 90s, no one but the industry people had their hands on it. Consumers see the potential of it being a space for unlimited porn, hence the progress. Now, the digital age we are in, more technology boundaries are being conquered because of the advent of porn.

Since we are at the topic of porn, i have this question which I posed to a male lecturer of mine.

The question goes like this. "Who of the following will you have better sex if you are a virgin yourself, which in this scenario, you love both of them equally?

A. A female virgin
B. A female gal who has slept around with a few guys but finally choosing you.

Most of the feedback I got is A. the virgin because they like the exclusivity that virgins are. My option would be B. though because she being the "experienced" person, she would know the "birds and the bees" that is invovled. Her experience would be invaluable in me providing good sex as she would be able to show me the ropes as how she learnt from her past encounters.

The theory behind this is about good sex or about getting anything right. You need to try a few things before you settle down on one. Like editing a video clip and using various softwares before deciding which one is the best for you so that you can have the best possible transition, best possible effect, best possible overall look.

Unless you chose the right one from the start, you have the luck then. This is so said the same for love. It is practically impossible to choose the right person from the beginning. You have to go out there, test waters to see the individuals that match you and the chemistry that will be bubbling.

Love, porn and sex in one topic. What more do you one ?

All three of this has one common factor. Luck u get in getting laid, getting off to the best material and finding your life partner. Luck. Is what the world is lacking now.

- Benjamin

Revamp

I have not been blogging for the past 4 days because of one reason.

A revamp of my room. Although I did my spring cleaning on the 2nd day of the year, these last few days were what you would deem more "intense". For the past 6 years since my secondary school, junk has been accumulating in my humble abode room and with a clean swipe, everything has been deleted in the recycled bin and voila, my room has a new layout with a brand new scrubbing of the parquet floor. Everything is sorted, neatly packed and I know what every single cupboard is lying.

To tell you the truth, it hasn't been easy these past few days. Old memories jog back as I sift through the materials that I once used to covet. Old photos, postcards, little trinkets that I collected just had to go to the dump. It held no more further meaning in the present and I guess that is life, it's practical.

You don't like your marriage, you get a divorce.
You don't like your car, get a new one.
You don't like your life, kill yourself and get reincarnated.

Practicality is the essence of adult life. The antonymn of practicality is when you are having fun. Practical is defined as something that adds value to the action that you undertake and most of the time, practicallity is devoid of any joy.

To have a clean spartan room that does not accumulate bacteria overtime, I had to get rid off the stuff toys, memorabilia and postcards as they are not practical anymore. I live for the now and look ahead for the future. The past, is all just a memory. Boy am I jaded.

I did my new year shopping early when I got the shocking news of a thorough spring cleaning of cleaning out the skeletons of my wardrobe

The termites did a clean job



Can u see me hiding under those cushion covers?



I slept on and with my books that night

I'm sure everyone is pretty interested to know what my room looks like now. Frankly, I love the whole new layout. My mom says I can open a clothing shop and I personally feel that my rooms looks like an office at Temasek holdings as I live on the 12th floor and as I type this blog, I can glance at the far distance of the horizon of never ending HDB flats.

On an interesting note, the course video that I am directing is nearing completion. I stared at the Mac for a total of 5 consecutive hours and the Mac screwed up only once (thank god!). I'm hoping the client (my director aka principal) doesn't get too nasty and nit pick all the errors.

On a sick note however, never drink banana juice after you eat black pepper udon if you don't like the sight of yellow pellets.

And now, I bring you the new look of Benjamin's room ....

I'm going to sue you if you nit pick on my bobdog blankie

The next warehouse sale location

The chairman was hiding under his bobdog blankie

This is a pretty long post, to make up for my abscene of heaving dust, discarding trash, smelling like a feather duster and chasing lizards. I feel like a new man now with my new room with the odd smell of freshly lacquered parquet.

- Benjamin

Books

Back in school and lovin' it.

Back to the churning on research projects and group meetings.

I love to do project work. It is always in the initial stages that I get all excited and hyped up and fervently searching for information in the library or on the worldwide web. I still don't know what keeps me going but one thing for sure, I will lose steam and lose interest in it and finally, want to wrap up a project as soon as possible.

With 2 modules with 2 months to clear, my timetable is relatively unpacked leaving me with a 3 day holiday. I could either study for my SATs that I will be having an examination for 24th January which I aim for a 1400 score at least or I could either start out strong on my projects and lay the groundwork before I get disinterested.

In any case, it just goes back to my personality of being occupied or in my terms, "useful". With me having no love life to tie me down or family problems to hold me back, you could see i'm the bachelor I am, living the life I want. Some people call me pyschotic for taking up so much stuff when you know that I'm in the quicksand but somehow with me being stuck in the quicksand, I get to learn something new everytime and although I don't see the benefits of some things I do, I just have a gut feeling that it is a great experience that I have learnt.

On a departing note, I am reading Dilbert - The Joy of Work to relax as it is a guide to finding happiness at the expense of your Co-workers. I also have 1 book on HTML tips & techniques for my blog, 2 advertsing novels detailing about branding and ad campaigns, 4 books about professional preperation to do my research on, 1 book about life as an asian student adapting to australian university life, 1 DVD about a comedy movie on the journalism world and about 150 pages of SATs that has 3500 words to revise accompanied by 16 chapters of maths to review and 3 stacks of SAT practice paper. My life is such a thrill.

I wasn't kidding

On the contrary, i DO read them.

- Benjamin

P.S. Benjamin has a tendency to return books late with cobwebs, librarians have a memorandum for a shoot-and-kill when they spot him. Benjamin does pay his fines early though but he fears the infra-red scanner that the librarian threatens to flash on him if he ever returns his books late again.

Jaded

Two days of school. Two days of slacking.

I won't go into further details of the 1st 2 days as everyone knows that it is always a slackening period where students readjust back from vacation mode to using-their-brains mode.

I haven't shut off my brains since my vacation last July. I just like being busy and like being kept occupied. If i'm bored, it means i'm useless and hence, my search to do something. Today, I sorted my clothes and iron my stuff. Just feeling accomplished of what I have done as I normally don't help around with the housework. My mother was pleasantly suprised when I was hogging the ironing board when she returned home.

I have a passion for reality shows and I love all sorts of twists and turns it takes to suprise the contestants. With no twists and turns in my life, there is no spontanity that really makes life what it is. Exciting.

Maybe i'm jaded. But a student life is pretty boring after all. What can a student do? Shopping, chit-chat with friends, bowling, mahjong, watch a movie, study, reading, sports. This is practically the scope of what a normal student does. As an adult, you have more privileges like going to a country club, going overseas or go clubbing.

So what if you have tee off at all the courses, went to visit every wonder of the world, flirted with every gal there is. What is there left ? Start a family ? I guess so. That's why people get married as they move on to the next phase of their life as they are already jaded of what they have already done. Getting married is a practical move after jadedness in life.

After which, you grow old, you get grandchildren and you get placed in an old folks home. Can anyone tell me what is the excitment that life promises us then? Is life really worth living since we get so many troubles from every aspect of our lives. Stress from a distraught home, a backstabbing office atmosphere and credit card companies chasing you. No wonder people are suicidal. They see no hope in life. Just parangs and pig bloods at their door step.

This sounds so repressive but it is the truth after all. Maybe life is living through all this activities with your loved ones and all the people that meet in your life. Experience the joy, the sorrow and the humour of what life revolves around.

Life is a path waiting to be travelled by the unique individual, through the trials and tribunals, one can only appreciate life when they are dying. This is why life flashes by before you die.

- Benjamin

P.S. Benjamin is high on cereal and Yoshinoya take-away food. Please, when you see him, slap the back of his head to wake him up from his morbid existence.

Dating

Went shopping today with my buddy Ephraim, resisted the temptation of being sucked into the vortex of consumerism but I eventually succumb to the great marketing prowess of the SALE signs and grabbed two tops to sum up my days worth of shopping. Was very itchy hands though but my right hand slapped my left hand the moment it was heading for the wallent and hence my dropped clothes at the cashier.

Today made me realise something, shopping is good if you have some alongside. To chat, comment or even criticise, I love companionship whenever I have shopping. On a side note, mahjong was cancelled twice as I cannot seem to get enough people to play. Must enlarge my network. I just love the thrill of touching those tiles.

Topic of the day: The dating scene

If you have a crush on someone, the most likely place you would bring that person (if you're a guy) to would most likely be dinner and movies. That is probably the most common date that would likely happen. That's totally passe to me.

If I ever go out on a date with a gal, I would firstly avoid a place with crowds. Not that I want to do anything funny but you face less tension when there is less tendency for your eyes to roam and hence, it will heighten my own uncomfortableness if I do not know the gal very well.

I would most likely bring the gal cycling at East Coast Park on a first date as cheesy as it might sound. Renting a twin bicycle, it would be ideal as it is a healthy date and you get to spend more time with your date. We would rest on a grass patch and have a chat after which, we would most likely have dinner. That would be my ideal date.

Now, to you all, it might seem boring and uncreative but it is a start and furthermore, we get to know one another better than some cheesy plot showing on the screen.

People think it is very easy for a guy like me to get dates, going up to a girl, asking her number, after which calling her and asking her out on a date. Chances are that she is already attached or the worst situation is that she is not interested you. Either way, rejection is the main deterrent for why I don't approach girls on the street just like that. By shocking somebody of some stranger wanting to know you better, some girls will be scared stiff out of their minds.

Dating is like two individuals with tentative thoughts. One is thinking about the other whether the other feels any affection towards the other. Through dating, they are ascertaining one another's chemistry for the other.

I say skip that melodrama, dating can last up to more than 3 months and it will cause pain and suffering when one finally makes the daring approach of asking the other (usually the guy) and ends up rejected. As I was saying, get into the relationship of knowing one another immediately and skip the hit-and-runs where the awkward-knowing-one-another sessions and in a matter of days, you will know whether you hit the jackpot of a potential blooming relationship.

- Benjamin

Kris

It was just another idyllic Saturday when a MSN messenger pop-up window caught my attention.

3 years. I never heard a word from him and here he was wishing me a happy Gregorian new year.

Let me give you some background information about him. His name is Kris Manios. A Dutchman who is 3 years my senior. I got to know him when he was the boyfriend of my cousin Daphne back in 2000. That relationship did not last long and he flew back to Holland.

During 2000, it was a 6 months waiting period before I entered polytechnic and so, we hang around alot with Daphne and her sister, Faith. He was like a hero that I looked up to because he was indeed someone that I could emulate.

He was patient, he was kind and he was cool to hang around with. He taught me lots of great stuff like the numerical system of Dutch language, hooked me up to broadband & made me a geek and he insulted my guts when I did not dare try contact lenses and he had to show me personally how to wear it when he had no need for glasses and wore my contact lenses to taunt me.

That was such great memories then. Going back to the present, we chatted continuously about what each of has been doing for the past few years. It was great moments catching up on what we were doing. For a period of time, Kris was in band singing and currently, he has 2 more years to go before he completes his degree in Amsterdam now.

Like me, he is still interested in the Japanese culture and he watches Japanese comedies, anime and horror. I have made a pact with him in 2009, we will apply for the JET programme because we are so enamoured with what the culture has to offer us. Even so, if I become married or if he does first, we will invite one another across continents to witness our marital vows.

Until then, a great buddy and pal of mine, Kris Manios.

Now, you can't really expect Kris to be that old. That is his uncle!

What a great start to a new year!

- Benjamin

Reflections

Being a graduating student soon, it is time that I have to think about my future. When you are at a young age, you never put much consideration into what lies down the road but decisions have to make and since it is my life after all and it is a crossroad of my life, it was time to consider my options.

Being a media & communication student, I could have picked the typical route of being a Junior college student but I knew back then it was not my cup of tea. I was not strong in my Chinese literature and text hence my proclivity towards a more fulfilling education of being hands-on.

I was strong in my Mathematics and Science but I knew I didn't imagine myself as a chemist or an engineer as it would be too mundane. Hence, the choice of being in the media and communication field.

Having studied for this diploma in this last 2.5 years, it gave me some perspectives in life as during project work, you had to be mature at hand to take on the task. I feel that I have matured from where I stood back then.

Firstly, what were my interests in the media and communication field? The scope is wide ranging from Video production, Events management, Advertising, Public relations and Journalism. Personally, I have dabbled in each of the following above in my stint in School of Business.

I'm the director for my School of Business video prospectus, I co-organised my school Talentime, I was involved with the Final Year project management to a real client and I am writing and reporting actively for my school newspaper.

To summarise, I feel that I am a jack of all trades and master of none. My interests at the moment right now are slanted towards 3 areas.

Advertising. This is an attractive field that is always on the go like technology, it keeps on your toes and if you will be left behind if you are updated. It is pretty tough to succeed in this industry but it is a challenge that I would not mind considering.

Video Production. I have a strong grasp of the knowledge that I have learnt and I continually practice with it throughout my years here. The only thing though is I'm already tired of it because of the constant editing. On the other hand, I like copywriting and planning for a shoot and one of the strong reasons that keep me from this interest is the pay because if you are a nobody here, there is little you can pocket.

Journalism. I never envision myself in this industry. It can be cutthroat, it can be back-breaking. Deadlines and a strong comprehension of the English language is a must. I never perceive myself as a writer and probably still don't as a strong article writer. I could just take this up as an interest but there is more to explore here though.

After my national service, I would either enter the industry or getting my degree in an Australian university as it would be the most financially viable option if I intend to further my studies. Hence, I have dedicated the topic about where my future lies as school term is about to start and I am about to reach my big 2-0.

I would love to hear feedback from people who know me on where should I go. I know ultimately the choice I make is mine and mine alone but I would like a third person perspective.

- Benjamin

Shopping

It is great to feel fresh for the New Year.

Therefore, I tidied my agglomeration of miscellaneous items I collected for the past year and swept them to the chute. Everything is so neat and tidy! I'm rather ambivalent about cleanliness in my room. , I like the state of messiness because I feel 'proud' of the junk I accumulated but on the other hand, I like to be accessible to the stuff that I keep. Therefore, my attempts to ameliorate my living conditions!

I went back to school today to check on the course video that I'm directing. It is almost done except for some grey areas. After which, I went shopping!

I love shopping. That is not quite typical of a guy but when you are empowered with shopping money and stuck in consumerism land; you cannot help but reach out and grab that window display.

Chinese New Year is approaching and everyone is grabbing something that is red which will represent an auspicious year ahead if you wear it on the first day of the New Year. As my parents are traditionalists, I was adamant to obey my mum's request and had to zealously search for something red.

Retailers and marketers are astute. They know that the season is coming and voila! All clothes that are red are marked up in price while the rest of the dull autumn colours clothing have their prices slashed. My agenda was searching for something that was not a top that you wore only once as people don’t often wear red and that the design or the cutting was unique.

I have a particular taste in clothing, which is why I avoid common brands like Giordano, Bossini and U2. I just don't like the idea of someone along the street wearing the exact same shirt walking past me. If that happens to you, usually both of you will try to look away. For me, it just feels uncomfortable.

It is just that I am a "brand" person, the type that goes for brand. Usually when you go for branded stuff, there is less chances that people around you will have the same particular item and hence, my penchant for unique clothes. Decent, not flamboyant, not overtly pricey and unique. It is hard to understand my sense of clothing but think Abercrombie & Fitch, Quiksilver and Adidas. Minimalism. Imagine shoes designed by Kenneth Cole.

I ended up buying 1 singlet from Guess and 1 Quiksilver top from Flash & Splash. Splurging a total of $80 for both tees was heart-wrenching as I am eyeing on the idea of getting a PDA so that I can jot down my ideas and random ramblings wherever I am. I guess that has to wait.

Today made me realise something. Shopping alone is really pathetic. Yes, some may argue that by oneself, one can do as they please and shop wherever they want at any interval but I refute that shopping alone is a misery.

There is no one to give you a second person perspective, no one to bring you back to earth on an impulse expensive purchase, no one to idly be by your side scouring the racks of shirts. Companionship, be it boy or girl, is a requisite if you ever go shopping. At least there is someone who will buy a red top at an exorbitant price together!

- Benjamin

Resolutions

Every new year, resolutions are always made. And broken. I read up from somewhere that 80% of the resolutions are broken by the end of February. And only 3% survive to daylight to see the next year.

To begin with, I have no resolutions. Just live life as it is and hope for the better. A moment at a time. Choose your crossroads as you encounter them. However, on a slight note, I'm planning for my route to university after national service by sourcing out which are the good ones for my industry so you could say i'm having some foresight for the years ahead.

On another side note this time, I am looking forward to kick my bootie back in school with only 2 more modules to master and 4 months of back-breaking-child-slavery internship work to do. Really looking forward to that.

Not a very interesting post so I shall load up the remaining pictures of last night's "havoc".

How I achieve the pyramid hairstyle

SARS temperature taking in process

A sight for sore eyes

On another side side-note, Xiaxue is back to blogging !

- Benjamin

P.S. The gal on the picture is not my girlfriend. Just a very close course buddy of mine whom I invited to the countdown party.

Underwear

Just back from the countdown party from school ....

Yup ! you heard me right. A party in S-C-H-O-O-L .... oxymoronic if you tell me. It's like saying homework is fun.

Have photos to show you the 'fun' I had. Scroll down to see it.

I'm upset I didn't win the PDA from the lucky draw. In fact, I am upset I didn't win ANYTHING at all.

I didn't know why I was so unlucky. They had 26 prizes and I had 3 coupons to strike. It was only then I realized when I reach home. At this very moment as I'm typing this blog while unzipping my jeans that I knew the answer to my unlucky streak.

I wore my briefs, backwards.

Now, it is lucky if you wear your underwear backwards, according to hearsay, somehow, I only feel damn upset paying $26.80 for the cab ride home and $5 for an extra lucky draw coupon to get nothing in return. I will remind myself before I leave my house to check which side my underwear is facing.

My friend, Ephraim has some of the good photos that we took at the party. I will post it up later when I get them as he is laying in a slumber. For the moment, this 3 photos taken by my vampiric-battery-powered-Olympus camera will suffice for now.

Someone gave me a wedgie

Muscle-bound Ben attracts the ladies

Ephraim & Me showing what love is all about

- Benjamin

P.S. Will post more when I wake up, I have so much to blog about !!!

Dates

I think it is time for me to develop my love life.

I can ascertain some things though. Some things are just not meant to be forced, if there is no chemistry from someone I met online, chat online, or happen to accidentally bump online. If it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be. At least I know that I have made a valiant effort to try to connect with people if all things fail to evolve.

To answer my question of what I want in a date, is for someone to be herself. The whole package of a personality that has the potential to progress to a persevering partnership. By reflecting their true personality, at least we are truthful to ourselves and if no chemistry bubbles, then leave it, don't force an equation that will end up in disaster.
Is that asking too much for someone to be themselves?

If you're really an ugly person inside, the bitchy type, the clingy type, the virgin type, then let it show. I have my own personal preference of course but then again, I view situation from an overall perspective and accept a person for who she is, as it turns out, I might like your aggressive bitchy tendencies. Who knows ?

I just do have one slight preference though. It might sound demanding but at least I know what I want from someone.

I wish that she would be able to conduct intellectual chat with me.
Yup, not those conversations that discusses the GDP of Singapore or alternate life in the solar systems but conversations that make sense. Like the movie, Mona Lisa Smile, an inspirational movie with the theme of feminism. We could chatter on light stuff like their acting and the cinematography or have a deeper scope like feminism in Singapore, stuff like that. That would be an ideal scenario that I use as an example of course. Chemistry is more important of course.

Am I picky? Maybe. But it is my life after all, and I need to know and choose who I want to spent of my next 50 years with. So do you too! If you can't click with my personality or cannot see eye to eye, then I wish you best wishes on finding your life partner. After all, your life is the only thing that you are in control of life.

- Benjamin

Tragedy

The world just had to do this to me. My daily amusement of my dear friend "Xiaxue" is gone from the blogging world.

She is so talented. It's unbelivable. She possess great humour and writing skills.

Yet, she is condemned by a certain group of people who was not able to swallow down her type of antidote.

This group of people are depiscable as they flame her, critique her and even insulted her.

All she did was be honest, phrase her daily life in a humourous manner and sees the light side of life.

But no no no. These people had to hate her. They wrote in forums to publicly insult her stupidity and her naiveness.

Puhlez! She has better things to do but yet, she makes a conscious effort to allow everyone to see the light side of her life.

If you don't like it, then click the X on the top right corner of the window. Nobody is forcing you to read it anyway.

And then you argue, the internet is a free domain and yes, you can do what you please. Hack her, flame her, spam her. Whatever. But she is entitled to her OWN freedom of speech to and damn you assholes who do not want her to give her that basic human right that everyone has.

Well, the tragedy here is that Xiaxue has closed down her blog. However, the good news is that she is going to have a private blog to allow her good friends to see. This is a lost cause here. The internet has lost a good blogger. A person who shared her funny personality to cure us from a bad day.

This is her parting message. Xiaxue's last public breath

Xiaxue aka Yan yan, if you're reading this, take heart that there are people by your side who will always support you no matter what you do. I'm one of them.

- Benjamin

Evolution

It took me 4 hours to revamp this.

Yessire, the need for change is evident from the previous webby that looks too yellow. I personally like the colour orange and hence, a tangy colour but it seems nobody appreciates that vibrant colour, giving me "bright" complaints.

Hence, i opt for my secondary colour. Blue. Using my lacklustre photoshop skills, I have done up a banner featuring my toothy grin and the groovy fonts. All that said and done, i'm proud of my accomplishment although any html freak can exclaim this was a piece of cake, it took loads of trial and error before I could get it done. Back to my dronings about daily life.

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time, I just never got about writing it. That is until now. I have been scraping the surface of this issue but now, I feel it is time to get downright dirty with this issue. My lovelife. To those who don't wish to read this entry, turn onto Channel 5 and see Brothers 4 and puke at their hilarity or you can choose to puke at my whinings about love here. To those who wish to continue reading this entry, please refrain from throwing up. I need your support, not vomit.

When I was back in secondary school, I was a flirt. I could chat, yak, gabber and amuse gals with the flick of my tongue. I have the gift of the gab. Be it introverts, ah lians, the untouchables, the goody-two-shoes or the cool chicks, I always have the ability to chat up with them. Least to say, that is not happening now.

Graduating from there, I entered a new phase of my life, the polytechnic. I had a bet with my 3 close secondary school mates who all went to junior college that each one of us will end up having a girlfriend. I was the most eligible then in terms of what girls were looking for then and as it seems, chances were high when I got accepted in School of Business, renown for their beautiful babes.

WRONG ! It seems out of us 4, I was the last to get hitch. I approached 2 gals during my current 2.5 years there and I got downright rejected because the girl felt we had a "compatatbility issue". They were right somehow, chemistry is the most important thing in a relationship and I also felt similarly that we didn't share a strong one.

Technically, I have 2 more months left in my school as I will be having my 4 month attachment from March. To simply lay out the issue, I will then be serving my national service for the next 2.5 years. I foresee me leading a very lonely life ahead.

Now, you all must be thinking the issue that im churning about is on my lovelife.
WRONG AGAIN! The issue here is why can't being single be a good thing?

With me not being emotionally tied down, I was able to accomplish many stuff. Like my CCAs and projects that I excel in. That came at the expense of not having a loved one but the primary purpose of going to school is to get an education, which I did !

Being single is practically a crime when you are nearing 40. It is also a crime that if you stick yourself with couples that are lovey-dovey. You see, with their feeding-one-another, show-of-affection and little-secret-chatter, you can only sit there and gap at what is happening around you, grasping nothing from the conversation. I don't hate all my attached friends but sometimes, it is just downright degrading when they throw you options like "XXXXXX can be your girlfriend you know."

To put it simply, i will let fate create its decisions for me. Be it impulse or bubbling chemistry, I will make the approach when I see fit even though I know my rate of success isn't high. At least I know I tried. For now, I'm happy to remain single and you can sue me if I slap any couples who are trying to grope one another when I so happen not to look at their direction. Until then, I am still looking for my significant other and will hope that the winds of fate will blow in my direction.

- Benjamin

"Life is not a box of chocolates. There aren't much choices in life anyway."

Frenzy

Something really bad happened today.

My laptop almost joined a heap of junk. Yup, I spilled a small drop of water from the cup I was drinking and kaboom !, the screen gave me a bare look of barely 5 seconds. 3 blinks and poof ! It waved me goodbye with a black screen that loomed over the stunned look on my face.

It was a mad scramble after that. The tissues and the harried fussing over where the water spots dripped to. When all seemed well, I pressed the power button. It greeted me with no fuss, but what preceeded after that brought me to my knees. It wouldn't start at all.

That one hour was like hell. My life depended clung onto the oxygen as well as my laptops' intake of electrodes. No internet, no life, no me, no more blog. I had two options. I took the immediate one. The screwdriver kit.

I'm no mechanic thats for sure. But somehow somewhere inside of me wanted to dry up the bloody mess I created due to pure carelessness and off I went unscrewing the 17 screws off my laptop. Yeah, yeah stupid me. I should have left it to the professionals. After I unscrewed everything, the lid refuses to come off. I could use force to unhinge the back cover. I restraint myself. And i screwed everything back. I didn't want to screw the software AND the hardware in less than an hour.

And so, I press the power button back again. A miracle ensues, the Windows XP screen greeted me. I wiped sweat off my brow. I waited in reeked anticipation for my login screen. Screen blinks again. Voila ! It works !!! It's alive , it's alive!!!

Now, the calamity wasn't over yet. I had to type in my password. 5 simple words. I knew my keyboard on my laptop was screwed somehow. It was indeed. I couldn't type in my password. The liquid had seeped into the keyboard circuit, most likely screwing itself over the wonderful keys. I restrained myself hitting my head on the wall.

Another miracle happened though. Luckily, my password was entered, I manage to get to the desktop interface. First thing I did, went to Microsoft Word to type out what wasn't working. I calculated a total of 10 keys that weren't working. I knew i was so screwed.

I went to the acer website to salvage whatever information i could gather. The thing was, I couldnt type out the URL because some alphabets were keys that I couldnt type. Like an ancient typewriter, I copied and paste each alphabet that wasn't working. The doom I faced just felt like a vortex.

The vortex vanished like evaporation. As time trickles, keys started working again and the whole system looks like it is pretty normal. I'm now contemplating whether I should go to Jurong and use my warranty or save the trip. Still thinking though.

This whole incident taught me a big lesson. It is the small things in life that we don't appreciate that we end up in the end moaning about. I have a laptop and I use it lazily on my bed. I do practically everything on my bed except my baths, excretions and disposal of waste. Having lunch on the bed while surfing the internet IS definently not a good idea. I'm making a few changes to this bed-everything policy. No more doing anything toxic or radioactive near the laptop. Unless you enjoy a day like me where you feel like screwing something or screwing yourself.

- Benjamin

Benevolence

Arrgghhh, i wrote a long post and blogger did not register it. Re-writing it miserably again now in the wee hours of Christmas.

Christmas season. I don't give a hoot. A season to be joyful, a season filled with glee. My response. Bah humbug!

All I can say is that Christmas is a great marketing ploy conjured up by some 1960s salesmen in America who were thinking of a reason on how to increase better sales in their snow plower and candy canes. What they didnt realize that 40 years down the road, they gave reason for people to buy junk for other people they loved, on the road at ridiculous prices.

In Christmas there are essentially 2 type of people, the giver and the receiver.

The giver is the person who is very deluded. They believe that they can wash away their sins of what they did to people by amending their relationships with bar soaps, awful dark chocolate and useless ornaments in exchange for forgivenance. They are suckers to advertisements and have loads of experience lining up at gift wrapping service counters so they scringe from spending more effort by asking strangers to have the honour of wrapping gifts on their behalf. The giver is also a loyal member of their credit card company as they love accumulating interest so that they can lie in a pile of debt every chrisstmas.

The receiever aka me, is the person who is a realist. They believe that Christmas is bullshit. That is why they don't have many friends or have much of a religion. They have this ideology of the action of giving presents can be done any single period of the year and must not wait until the end of the year to suddenly splurge on gifts at jacked up prices. They put more sincerity when they give out presents (any time of the year) as they put much thought in the gift. They would choose the gift carefully instead of charging to the departmental store special section of festive gifts.

Of course there are many type of genres, but im only describing two here. The giver is like a sheep among packs of a million sheeps. If people start giving gifts, they would also have to start giving gifts or they will have irrepressable guilt that they have live through the next 364 days. Hence, everyone is sucked into the vortex of the season to give. Sigh, its a horrid consumer world out there.

On a side note, I went to watch Mona Lisa's Smile. A great chick movie. Not that i enjoy the fact it is a great chick flick but the very fact that it had a strong cast of Julia Roberts, Julia Stilles, Kirsten Dunst to name a few who were E-X-C-E-L-L-E-N-T. Furthermore, a believable movie plot which was not predictable with few twists and turns that made the whole movie enjoyable. I'm more of a SNAG than a typical caveman so i really enjoyed the movie. The other 4 pals of me who were the typical "You Jane, Me Tarzan, I go fetch banana, you clean banana" chauvanists blamed me for recommending such a show to them. Hell to them, I love Julia Roberts. She is just FANTASTIC !!!

After the movie, it was like 11 pm. Decemeber 25th will hit a bumper in about an hour. As we parked our car at Borders and the movie was at Cathay Cineleisure, there was quite a distance to cover and a humongous crowd to conquer. Yup, you heard me right. The pavement was congested with families, more families, and families who brought along other families. Amongst them, there was the fake snow party can sprayers (FSPCS). They were the irritants of the crowd.

Theses FSPCS were just party people who were high on fake snow. They just kept spraying it to people. To hit on some hot chick or just to make someone blind, they love twitching that button to spray loads of fake snow onto innocent pedestrains (me) making their way back safely. The foam created from these FSPCS made the whole entire Orchard Road dirty with litter spraycans and the gooey stuff that dried up after the fake snow cringe after usage. It was havoc out there. I'm glad to have lived to tell the story. At least i know where to NOT go next year.

After the great Mona Lisa and the horrendous Crowda Shita, we visited Pros Vista. Yup, the holy grail of prostitutes, Geylang. Yup, it was just some cheap thrill of young teenagers just to watch prostitues up close in person on Christmas Day. Yes, it is THAT cheap. We practically circled or the streets (Lorongs) and sad to say, I only saw like 2 or 3 peddling for business. It seems that either prostitutes are in the festive mood and are part of the FSPCS contingent or that business was so good that we see so many queues outside those red-lantered houses. Anyway, all I say was bunch of lechers that were old men or Bangla workers checking the scene like us, having their own cheap thrill.

All said and done, it has been a great Christams Eve, I wish for the spirit of sharing and giving to be spread throughout the year and not only until the end of this week.

Bless you all with good wishes,
Benjamin

Brainwash

Went for my medical check-up today.

I never really had the passion to enter national slavery. After today, that mindset has changed.
I didn't had a choice between the red pill or the blue pill but while I was awaiting for a grown man to pull my shorts down to see if my penis was in working order, I awaited while watching a video detailing the whole procedure of Basic military training.

Simply put, I was impressed. In reality, I was motivated. Some part of that motivation is to protect my homeland, another part of it is that it looks so impressive. Yes, i'm THAT easily dissuaded. I was brainwashed to tell you the truth and the fact is, I like the truth.

Now, I can only hope that people with lazy eyes can get selected to be combat fit. Every part of my limbs and fibre are raring to go. I have heard that recruits with lazy eyes end up behind desks. I can only hope, pray, and see that my lazy eye isn't that much of a slacker when it comes down to the gauntlet.

On another side note, I went to watch the final installment of the trilogy, Lord of the Rings. I never watch the first 2 shows and it was manical that I watched the last chapter. It is like bungee jumping but you only feel that thrill of your bounce upwards.

Anyway, the cinematography was fabulous. The plot was fantastic. Peter Jackson destroyed the integrity of the show with the ending. Not that i'm a Hobbit fanatic but somehow, the filming of the ending could have been more spiced up professionally, especially how they uesd the fading in transitions. It didn't gel well with the front part of the movie which I would have to give 11 marks out of 5 in terms of editing and camera angles.

On another side note, there is a high possibility that I might get to own a dog. It's not confirmed yet but it might be a Jack Russell. Let's pray for good tidings on less fussiness on my slacking eye, more LOTR films and a Russell that I can finally hug to sleep.

- Ben

Slack

I have been slacking the whole day. Sleeping and playing computer games.

Tommorrow, i need to shift the gear stick and start going 100 km/h. All this slacking is not good for my health. Period.

I know i promised a photo of my new hairstyle. But, feedback from many people says it is still relatively the same. My hairstylist said if it grows longer, it will look nicer. So, i'll take a photo of it and post it another time when the army boy becomes nice-hairy boy.

Okay, my mumblings today is extermly boring. I blame the harmful slacking that has got over my head.

Another time then,
Ben

Bloated

I have a new hair cut. = )

I look like an army boy. Period. Aka half david beckham, half cockerel.

What inspired me to cut my hair was my laziness to gel my hair everytime I go to school to edit the clips.

Most of the time, I wear a cap. If i wear my cap too much, my brain cells won't have much oxygen to generate intelligence and hence, my reluctance to wear a cap everyday to cover my ill-lazily-styled-hair.

Voila ! New hairdo. I promise to post up pics of my new hairdo. Bite me. I'm narcissitic.

Topic of the day: Buffet

One of the top ten favourite words of Singaporeans. One mention of the word "buffet" would perk up anyone's day from slacker mode to ready to cut queue mode.

I went to a buffet dinner today at Koshin-Bo. Not for the faint-walleted. For the 5 of us, we chalked up a bill of S$170, that is like $34 per person.

Anyway, although Koshin-Bo was a rather civilized place where the prim and proper had their Japanese cuisine, there was still much shoving around during the peak period that I went.

I am guilty of it too as my first order consisted of Teriyaki Udon, 4 unagi sushi, 2 tako sushi, 4 "satay sticks" and 1 sprite. That was just the appetiser. I tore through the buffet menu. I was simply ferocious.

Well, that is not as compared to the neighbours who sat next to me as they were equally munching, and not even taking a moment to swallow.

Our Singaporean culture is to never lose out to the other. That means beat the rest. Do better than what others do. Convert that to buffet language, the etiquette is to pile or order as much as you can, and then eat every single thing until your stomach explodes.

My stomach was bloated as I left but come to think of it, was it money well spent? I mean come on, the meal was so expensive, I deserve my consumer right to order as much as I want !!!

Kiasu or not. Hungry or not. I'm entitled to my money's worth.

Anyone up for another buffet ?

Bloggers

Currently busy in school right now editing videos.

While i was having a short break, I slowly blended in with a group of Coursemates who were busy gossiping.

The gossip dribbled to how other classmates write their blogs and stuff and that got me thinking.

How many people out there are blogging ? How many people out there only read blogs ?
How many people out there are blogging about other bloggers? How many people out there don't even know what is a blog ?

Well, as I didn't know my coursemates that were gossiping very well, I made a verbal guess on who had a blog and who didn't.
I was absolutely correct with all my 6 guesses.

I have come to a basic theory on how to identify fellow bloggers from the people who refrain to be entrapped in the virtual world and also from the people who only enjoy reading about blogs. Basically, a blogger has reasons for their blog.

A. You are very expressive and has loads to chat and jibber about.
B. You are very conceited and an exhibitionist
C. You are very closeted with your circle of friends and use your blog as means of expression.

Usually you can identify from their body language to distinguish themselves from other bloggers.

Also, if a person is an IT-idiot and is a very busy-with-practically-anything-person, then you also can rule out the possibility of them having a blog too.

Won't it be wonderful if people with blogs meet up? Look at it in this manner. These batch of people are willing to talk about their life, views, opinions and perceptions on certain issues. They are very open in thier views and if we bring these views into the real world, we wouldn't need to second guess through how people feel.

In this way, you know immediately if you have some sort of disgust towards another individual, have some sort of crush with a certain someone or even express irriation over a bugger. A blogger is like an open virtual book, it reflects the soul of their own belief sysem.

If onlt everyone was a blogger in real life, put their feelings out there, have more emotions. The world would then be a more chaotic but brutally honest place to live in. I prefer honesty.

- Benjamin

Monogamy

I did not intend to blog today. Just before I was about to lay in my coffin, one word caught my eye as I read someone's blog. The word was "monogamous".

For those English-impaired, monogamous as defined by dictionary.com as the condition of being married to only one person at a time or having sexual relations one at a time, (I presume one partner the whole lifetime.)

Now, imagine if the whole world was monogamous. There would be no sex-crazed offences, no prostitutes and no wonderful shows like 'Sex and the City'. Women would be even more picky about the guy they would eventually end up with the whole lifetime as they have to be selective about their climax partner.

This is an insane issue that I'm throwing up here but if defined properly by the Romantic Society, there is only One love out there. The person's true love. So, do i have to scan through the World population of 4 billion profiles before i know where is my true love ? That is then there and there I will have a monogamous relationship.

Going back to the monogamous world, if everyone is only entitled to only one sexual partner, will that make the world a better place ? Let's evaluate together.

The perks are that the gals will NEVER every complain about bad sex or having not climax with their male counterparts during sex. As they only have one experience to speak of, if the partner they choose is a bad hog who lets the women do the work or an aggressive bull humping the whole night long, nobody can really define what is good OR bad sex. In other words, the world is a better place, with less Aunt Aggie column's of "My honeymoon lasted a minute" or "How to fake a climax" articles.

Furthermore, with the rule of One women only, Men can NEVER EVER make anyone else pregnant unless they have chosen "The One". Thus, men will be faithful and divorce rates are likely to stay at 0%. Men will spend less time picking up gals and bringing them home in taxis in the wee morning and will sleep early and get up with more energy to boost productivity.

Are you in support of monogamy ?

This is the downside.

For women, if one can only have one sexual partner, they would be VERY choosy and hence, 30% of the women will end up as lesbians or bachelorettes for life. They spent more time shopping if their husbands are awful in bed and having high credit expenditure which eventually causes bad debt and increase the economy's bankruptcy population. This is because as identified by experts, if women have bad sex or they don't get any at all, they seek other pleasures like Chocolate cake, ice-cream or blow-up dolls. We all know how inflated the prices are as years go by. Back then, one Snickers bar cost $0.70. Now, it is an amazing $1.50.

For men, the downside of having no women to experiement would lead to giving VERY bad sex to the final woman they choose. Initially, they would pump and give it their best shot, as encounters go by in bed, they weaken and lose interest and hence, bad sex. This in turn, leads to the above forementioned effect on women. Also, suicidal rate in the country will peak to a limit as they cannot divorce their women and they have to hear them nagged about the "slug in bed" or "limping kangaroo" insults which would hurt men's ego and cause them to jump down from high-storey buildings, join politics or intake too much viagra and hence, death.

For the economy, it will be a deep decline with our tourism industry taking the biggest cut. A cutback on the Geylang, Bugis, Chinatown and Changi Village income from foreigners is the main reason. Furthermore, there is no need for condom, contraceptive pills or Hotel 81. Besides that, divorce lawyers have to switch their careers to toilet cleaners and dating services and hotlines will cease to exist with little business.

Imagine the world monogamous.

I'm a monogamous person. If I really love someone, I will stick through her thick and thin, till death do us part. Of course, there will be furtive glances at other attractive gals once in a while but I always know that my heart has already been given away. Unless it's broken and then I have to mend it and give it to someone else. Come to think of it, monogamy is a virture worth valuing.

- Ben

P.S. Monogamy has always been linked to conservatism. Call me old-fashioned, call me a stick in the mud. I truly feel loving only one person is giving AND receiving TRUE happiness.

Run

I ran at the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon today.

Waking up in the active hours of an Owl, I was eager to soar through the mini marathon which I signed up with. Let me give you a little background of my athletic incapabilities.

When I was back in St. Stephens Primary School, my whole afternoon consisted of running around playing in the big open field of running. "Cops and robbers" was the most popular game that I recall and I earned the nickname, "Cheetah" because of my ferocious speed.

My speedy antics halted the moment I went to Secondary School. I was firstly overwhelmed with all the CCAs and I hesitated. I didn't had any interest to join any sports or uniform group. I joined the band after 7 months because the music teacher caught my wanderlust interest and I joined the band. There I blew my clarinet for 4 faithful years.

During my upper sec years, we had to take our physical fitness test. To sum it all up, blowing the clarinet was detrimental to my health it seems as I barely scraped bottom for gettting a point for my 2.4 km run. Least to say, my stamina weaken to a strand and worsen to a tinge during the lull period of 7 months awaiting for poly to start.

With a hectic 3 years poly life, it was suicidal to join a sports related club. Look what I have turned out to be, a scrawny guy filled with sacarsm and insecurity about his fitness. I'm gathering names to see who is willing to bet me that I would be sick and disgusting with all types of diseases by 28.

Back to now, I was determined to finish as fast as possible. For 10 km, i had estimated a range of 1hr and 15 mins. I took less than an hour. It is pathetic considering that "industry standard". I lost my buddy, Petrina whom I was suppose to meet from the start and I ended up finding her at the end. We told ourselves that we will improve our time by at least 10 minutes.

Hence, my dedication now lies for 2 things. My fitness and my education. I have studied like hell for my diploma even though they reflect grades of a slacker and I'm gonna start improving my stamina. The only way to go is no more procrastination.

Yes, I will exercise. I'm already scringing at the thought of it but the very fact that having good health and an appealing body would help up my stakes in the other realm of my life, my love life. Which i am putting that on hold for the moment even though I'm deeply in love with someone.

Sacrifice is the way to go, it seems. I lead a cruel world. I am feeling the aches of the run, i will feel it for more months to come.

- Ben

Children

I have been at the chalet for the last 4 days.

It was an impromptu invitation from my secondary school sweetheart and hence, my acceptance in going. However, there was some hesitation too as it seems i'm the only one staying. You see, the whole entire family is situated there. I'm the odd chess piece that don't fit onto the board. Strangely enough, I was encouraged to stay on the first day and for the rest of the remaining period.

Okay, i'm sure anyone reading this would wanna know what happened and just sip into the dribble of the juicy gossip. To provide at least some decency, I shall stop you from salivating and tell you that NOTHING HAPPENED.

But these 4 days away from home made me see the world more. As ironic as it is even though home was barely 15 minutes away, it gave me perspective while travelling to and fro from school. (I had to return to school frequently).

One thing that really got me thinking was Kids.

Mischevious and cunning, innocent but back-stabbing, children cannot be preceived as the innocent angels as they are. My secondary school sweetheart (aka Miss Z) had a little brother called Irritant Q. He is barely primary 2 and he is a spoiled brat. Yup, more spoiled than any kid than i ever know. Even the kid in me.

He is an attention grabbing, tantrum throwing and a prissy little prick if i may add. He is obnoxious and oblivious to proper manners. This is because he is pampered alot and Q is a prick in my ass as he annoy even the patient me. If he is alone and I have burst my limits, i would take my masking tape and wrap his fragile face and throw him out of the second floor chalet. Thank god i'm writing this from the comforts of my school instead of a prison.

If children as this time and age are so spoiled and arrogant, what would become the next generation also aka my future offspring. Should i burden myself of letting my sperm grow out of his head to be an unfillal and useless human being with corrupted human values or should i content myself of having no care and concern for dirty pampers and boiled breast milk?

The question really lies on how you educate your children. If it were up to me, I would be a strict discplinarian like my mother was. She didn't spare the rod when i was rude and disobedient. Q climbed all over the mother's head just to get his way of playing Xbox, snatching sweets off the shelve and forcing his rule on people accompanying him to the baby pool. It is a real headache with him being around, I wish children would grow up and mature faster. They do not have any innocence left in them from how the pampering their parents shower upon them.

The reason why children are so overtly pampered is because parents spent too much time at work and they only can give monetary compensation to their kids through toys and junk food. Kids nowadays are smarter and if they cant get your money, they will want your attention by embarrasing you in the departmental store, MRT or threatening to place their parents in foster care when they are old.

I was a kid once. I know. But not anymore, this time, I embarass them by not having grandkids forever. See what can they do about that !

- Ben